Music: Oh How I Love Thee! January 29, 2009

The one earthly thing that I can’t live without is Music.  If I could marry him, I would.   (And yes its a him, no woman could ever make me feel this way. LOL.)    If I were dropped on an island with nothing else, I need my Ipod(I’m sneaking buffalo chicken breast  in my pocket).  

I don’t have one particular genre, I enjoy it all.  It can hype me up, from the first line of Jadakiss’ We Gon’ Make It, (F*** the Frail sh**) or  mellow me out like EVERY SINGLE TRACK on Faith Evan’s very first record, Faith.  

I think it’s one of the very things that can unite us all, it goes across race lines (act like you don’t remember the lyrics to Ice, Ice Baby!).

With that being said, I have some records I’ve found that I can play all the way through (no skipping)…. 

Nic’s Top 10 Albums:

1.  Faith Evans:  “Faith”

2. Floetry:  “Flo’ology”

3.  Jill Scott:  “The Real Thing”

4.  Glenn Lewis:  “World Outside My Window”

5.  N.E.R.D:  “Fly or Die”

6.  Alicia Keys:  “The Diary of Alicia Keys”

7.  Dwele:  “Subject” 

8.  Dwele: “Some Kinda”

9.  Kanye West: “The College Dropout”

10.  Jay- Z:  “In My Lifetime, Vol. 1″

Ya’ll just don’t know, I could go on and on….  There are sooo many.

Does anyone feel the same way about music?  What have I missed on the favorites?

You hate me because…… January 29, 2009

Some people call them gangs; some people say that they have lost their way. A lot of people would say that their founders would not be proud. Hell, I agree with many of these statements and I am a part of the group of people talking about. I’m not a blood or a crip. I’m a member of a Black Greek Letter Organization. (I am not “Greek” but that’s a whole nother post for a whole different day). I am a sliding, kicking, spinning, hook throwing member of the only frat I know. Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. I am the deuce the tail the HONCHO the showdog MADE in the “Once Murderous, Always Mighty, Malicious Mu Chapter” “Where the WOOD is still GOOD and will never go BAD” but I digress. This is not a post to explain why I know believe my beloved fraternity to the best ever.period. In response to Cuzzo’s post earlier this week, I wanted to post the top nine reasons GDIs and members of Greek organizations that are not BGLO (and some members of BGLOs too) and my responses to them. (No particular order) I’m gonna be honest and say that I probably hate Greeks too most of the time.

 

1)      Always thinking about their fraternity or sorority.

 

I agree with this issue. I hate when every other word out of the mouth of a Greek is “frat” or “bruh” or “soror”. Did you not have a life before you pledged or sign your papers (another topic for another day). When you were initiated did you lose all of your old friends. If you were lame before the letters, you’re probably lame now.

 

2)      Greeks always ask “Are you Greek?” then some of them wont speak to you if your not.

 

I often answer this question by saying something to the affect of “Yuck, hell no”. Just to see what kind of response I would get out of people. But hell I aint Greek; I’m black. But in defense of my brethren, we probably just don’t wanna talk to you right now.

 

3)      Greeks are usually ruining parties with all that excessive strolling and chanting.

 

Yes we are, you got a problem with it. Go home. You don’t have a problem with the ridiculously low price of our entry fees and the free liquor or the fact that we let women with none or purple panties in for free.

 

4)      All Greeks were losers before and now because they paid some money and got some letter they think they are cool.

 

I hate when this actually happens but believe it or not some of us, like me, we’re cool before and I’m still cool now.

 

5)      You’re jealous of the perks.

 

So what we get an extension from the teacher that’s an AKA and you don’t. You know what my prophyte did hook me up with an interview. The Delta did look out for me in the housing office. Pledge (or sign your paper) and you can have those perks too.

 

6)      Mad that they didn’t get picked.

 

Haha, you should have been better There is a reason you didn’t picked and a lot of times it the chapter’s lost that they didn’t picked you. But in some cases we have to realize that you may not have been that good of a candidate.

 

7)      Mad that they dropped.

 

People drop for all types of reasons. That’s between you and your maker. Next time see it through. Don’t get mad b/c I aint drop with you.

 

8 )      Greeks don’t really like their sorors or frat.

 

You are very correct. Why in the hell would I like or even get along with every person in a fraternity with hundreds of thousands members. Do you like every member of your family? There aint even 100 people in your family.

 

9)      Think the idea of fraternities and sororities are stupid.

 

Just because you don’t like mean you gotta hate. I don’t see how a man could like another man’s body over a woman but I don’t walk around hating them. So keep the to yourself B.

 

 

By no means is this a complete list feel free to add why you hate Greeks. If you’re a member of BGLO feel free to add your stories of hateration too.

 

Hi Hater! A SSSO Series January 27, 2009

I’m just gonna preface and say I hate the word “hater.”  For me, it’s overuse is up there with the word “swag.”  I try not to use either, but for today, I’ll make an exception. 

The Urban Dictionary defines “hater” a few ways, one of them:

A label applied to people who are more negative than positive when discussing another person. It most commonly refers to individuals whose negativity is so extreme that it is all-consuming. However, there are various levels and forms of being a hater, ranging from completely dismissing any positive traits or actions, to merely painting a less than flattering picture by using words with negative connotations. Hating is often attributed to jealousy, but just as often, it seems to stem from some other source.

Let’s get something straight, telling the honest truth is not hating.  Take this conversation:

Eva:  Girl, how does this dress look on me?

Chanel:  Ummm, it’s looking a little tight.  You might want to go up a size.

Eva: *scrunches nose*   I’on know what you talking about, I look good.  Hate much?

Lesson to be learned:  If you can’t handle the truth, don’t ask for it. But I digress. 

There are so many forms of hating… from folks hating on your “swag” to your success to your relationships.  I don’t subscribe to the “if people aren’t hating, then you aren’t doing it big” or whatev. To me,  that insinuates that hating is okay.  Haters need healing and maybe a self esteem class. 

That being said, what are your thoughts on haters?  How do you deal with them?  

Running Out Of Lies… January 26, 2009

I swear I was born in the 80s…I swear I was….

Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t lie anymore?  You know what I’m talking about…you got a good man or woman sitting at home and you’re out there acting like you are single.  This reminds me of something I did one time…little Jaci’s going to tell on herself now…

I met someone in 2005, he was cool and I loved him.  When I went back to New Orleans in Januray 2006, I got reacquainted with a campus police officer i’d known my freshman year…that’s enough of that…so one thing led to another and I found myself cheating on the boyfriend I loved.  Fast forward about two weeks, and after many nights of hanging out with Mr. Officer…I had a severe case of the flu.  One week, one hospital visit and many antibiotics later, I had a stomach affliction and I wanted to come home to my mother, SO I called dear boyfriend and had him drive from Tuscaloosa, AL to NoLA to come and get me.  I also had him pick up one of my girlfriends to come with (so she could warn me in enough time to leave my lover and get ready).  How oh how…did I leave my phone at home?!  I had no way for her to reach me.  So from…the building I was in…I saw a golden Maxima pull up and you guessed my boyfriend met my side lover…Uh oh and oh shat!  Long story short…they talk and then realize I can’t get to where I’m supposed to be without boo piece seeing me…thanks to Mr. Officer I made it.

Came home had a wonderful time, but still had the stomach problem.  When I got back to NoLA I immediately wanted to see Mr. Officer…just one problem I can’t walk cause I’m in pain.  I got so mad at Ex that I told him I would rather crawl to my other man than be with him (out of pain, didn’t realize what I was saying).  This means I had too many irons in the fire.  I was so busy being Mr. Officer’s side dish and having him be happy I couldn’t see what a good thing I had.  It was flawless and I lost it.

There’s my story…though it is wayyy longer…but dear readers, I’d like hear your story…have you ever cheated?  Been cheated on?  How’d you handle it…We wanna know!

How to Be Your Own Get Right…. January 26, 2009

All this talk about men…and how to get them, keep them, make them pursue you whatever is a slight bit worrisome to me.  So…we here at SSSO are gonna take this week to focus on how sexy Djimon Housou is ourselves.  See…we’re always talking about what we expect a man to do for us blah, blah and blah.

What about what we’re doing for ourselves?  Think about it…do you have center?  Peace of mind?  Can we see where we are going in comparison to where we are and where we have been?  Now, I am not saying that you have to follow everything that I am going to list, but here are a few things that we as women need to do to be right for our mothers, our men, and the world ourselves.

1. Eat healthy and Exercise-Black women are known to be Superwomen.  They run around everywhere doing everything for everyone except themselves.  This likely leads them to grab whatever they can get their hands on to eat…McDonald’s, Burger King…just anything.  This is NOT healthy…we’ve got to do better.  Join the 50 Million Pound Challenge or

2. Get to church-or somewhere that gives you a source of inspiration and balance.  Maybe that place is yoga…maybe it’s a meditation room, or a quiet garden.

3. Pay yourself first.-A lot of Blacks are making the bad choices of paying Louis, Dooney&Bourke, and Prada.  What good is having that fabulous purse if you have nothing to put in it.  Find something to invest in…it’s a great time to do houses or stocks.  I definitely think it’s important to be sure you have a rainy day fund.  For all the ladies who are not single, have something for yourself outside of what your man says.  I learned that from Granny–have something for yourself…end of story.  Oh and check your annual credit report!

4. Take time for yourself- Outside of going to that special place where you find center and peace of mind, we should all do something where we are in a place totally alone.  For me, it’s the bathtub or the shower (ask those who know me) I am always in there…and if I’m not communicating with someone then I am taking definite time for myself…thinking and…

5. Dream and dream big.-Think about yourself driving that Porsche or living in that villa in France.  Think about the things that really make you happy and use them to your advantage.  Always think positive.  Write your dreams for people to see…and wait on them and well…they won’t wait to come to you

Everyone just really needs to remember that even though we are all superwomen, we will easily not be able to do the things we’re doing now if we don’t take care of ourselves.  Beyond that, since we’ve all celebrated Ms. Michelle and who she is with Barack, I think we need to realize she didn’t marry him until she was 29.  She was a whole person without him and if any of us ever even want to dream of…..well just get yourself ready.

SO tell me what would you add to the list?  What are somethings that you’re doing to better yourselves?  What centers you?  Men, what would you like to see us doing?  Anything you know that would really hope us ladies?

What to Say….What to Say?! January 22, 2009

i love you my fellow bloggers.

i really do.

nic’s sick..

peyso’s i dunno

holly sleep.

cuzzo on hiatus

i’m tired.

i think we taking the day off.

please send me somebody named dr. feelgood (and everybody else too )

What We Feel Like

Where are my panties? January 22, 2009

***ADMIN NOTE***Hi all!  Today we’re going to do things a little different…in fact we’re usually hearing from the female perspective but today we’re introducing a brother into the mix every Thursday…So without further ado…here’s Peyso! Enjoy!

There are some questions that will perpetually plague our society until the end of time. What does God look like? Can we really solve world hunger? Are the women of SSSO really as freaky as they say they are? I have seen many an argument about these topics and topics like these. However, there is one question that will force an otherwise civil conversation to explode with emotion. It makes the blog world cringe, a woman’s spine tingle and a man’s loin tremble. What makes a woman a gardening tool? While this can be debated until the cows come home, there are some things that will definitely get you labeled a bum cucket? If you bless the whole ball team, you’re probably a shmeez. If you got 3 kids and for each of them there is 8 possible baby daddies, you might be a shmut. If your nickname contains the word head or relates you to the Grand Canyon, there is a strong possibility that you are in fact a slore. If you sleep with a guy on the first night, you could be a hoe. OR NOT.

That’s right. Yea I said it. Just because you slept with a dude on the first night DOES NOT mean you are a bizz jasket. I know I’m going to catch a whole of flack, in my inaugural post (I’ve been looking for ways to say this since Tuesday) from both men and women. I think once I explain most men at least will agree with me. However, before we get into explaining my logic we have to set some parameters. We are not talking about a situation where you knew the other person for awhile and when ya finally decided to chill, you let him smash it out the door frame. This situation is way too complicated and will vary from situation to situation. I am talking about situations where this is literally the first time you have met the bol and you wake up the next morning looking for your bloomers.

Imagine this, it’s your birthday and you’ve been on strike from the pumpington for nearly 6 months. And ya girls take you out for your b’day. Your whole squad got the little black dresses on with ya freak’em pumps on and what not, even the ugly chick in the crew is looking good. You consume copious amounts of alcohol and you meet an attractive young man. Ya hit it off, he buys all the girlies drinks. He can dance. Ya have a great conversation. He owns a condo and works a good job. He spends practically the whole night with you. Ya go to breakfast afterwards and he doesn’t even hint at going back to your place or you going to his. Somehow, ya still end up at his place. He gives you the pumpington that you’ve been missing for 6 months and not in the way that he woulda gave it to a JO or a FwB, he cares a little bit. In the morning you cant find yo drawers but you wake up to him cooking you breakfast. Ya chill a tad bit longer then ya exchange numbers and he puts you in a cab.

I think most people would say that this situation is ok. I cant ever imagine spending the whole night at a club with a woman unless she was my SO and buying all of her friends drinks, even the one who drinks like a fish. I think that man deserves the cutty and it would actually be more hoish for a woman not to oblige. Don’t worry, the dude aint gonna think you a slore. You don’t spend that much time and effort on a slizzer. In the words of Andre 3000, “you’re just a woman who knows what she wants out of life”. Men determine your holigibility based on how much effort they had to put out. You could make him wait 5 years but if he aint ever had to put any effort out, in his mind you’re shmiggity. However, you can let him give you the business on the first night and because he put in so much effort, he’ll love you forever.

Don’t confuse the story I told with a dude letting only you and your 2 good looking friends come into VIP. They’re constantly shuffling in jawns in and out of their little BS VIP section. They poor alcohol down your throat straight from the bottle. Ya emulate sex on the dance floor. He tries to get it popped in his suped up Dodge Charger. If you let this man smash, you my friend are probably a tramp.

These are only my thoughts though. Is it ever acceptable for a woman to sleep with a man on the first date? If so, when is it? And fellas (if you’re out there), what are you thinking when it happens?

I’m Not Scared… January 21, 2009

Of lions, tigers and bears…I’m sure you all know the rest, but if you don’t:

Exactly why do we love love when love seems to hate us?  I am asking this question because from personal experience I can say that love is absolutely everything that it’s cracked up to be.  It’s that thing that has caused men to go to war, makes you kill…you will stay out later than normal and come home home early.  It makes you do whatever necessary.  In fact, you will even change some of who you are in the name of this ever elusive emotion.

We’ve talked about soul mates.  We’ve talked about friends with benefits.  We’ve talked about potentials.   What we haven’t talked about is real love.  The kinda love that makes you wanna give up everything.  That solid kinda love.  I’m talking about the kinda love Coretta had for Martin, that light we all saw in Michelle’s eye yesterday when she watched Barack take office.  Those two women have something so great in common.  See if you don’t understand the kind I’m talking about…imagine how Coretta must have felt when they told her Martin was gone?  If that image doesn’t do it somebody think about how Jackie must have felt on that sunny day in Texas?  And if that doesn’t work…think about how Michelle is gonna feel every single minute Barack’s out of her sight?  Hm…see that’s loving someone so much you can’t bear to live without them…but do you love that person so much you can’t live with out them?  Or could you go on?

I’m scared of that kind of love.  I might not be scared of anybody or anythin else…I’m scared to love another person that’s not my child more than I love myself.  I am scared to hand someone my heart, bloody and beating, knowing that they have every single opportunity to break it.  But you see when you’re scared of love and you’re scared of what it brings then you are chained…enslaved to this fear and you won’t love.

This is the kind of love that may not be all roses and romance…it’s really, really hard work…it’s that kind of love where people see it and say they love each other so much….but let’s be clear this kind of love requires hard work-devotion, understanding and patience…examine yourself…can you love like this?  Are you ready to have someone love you like this?  This requires strength…what are you doing to prepare?

And for me, the thing is, I’m scared of loving you, yes baby, that’s right I love you so much it hurts…In fact, sometimes i think I survived on the breath you just finished…

This is me…waxing sentimental but what I really wanna know is what about love scares you?  Anything or are you fearless?

I’m obviously a ball of confusion….

***ADMIN NOTE***Check us out tomorrow for sure.  We’re introducing a new member of SSSO…here’s a hint…he’ll be giving the Bro’s prospective I can’t wait!!!

The Greatest Day in the 21st Century January 20, 2009

This is THE day.  I cannot believe it.  It has been a long, winding 400 year road.  But today is the day…Barack Hussein Obama will become this great nations 44th president, along with him will go First Lady Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama and daughters Malia (10) and Sasha (7).  This is the day that Martin hoped for…the day Rosa thought of, and a day that our forefathers will gladly shout or sing.  It is with great joy mixed with somber sadness that I approach this day.  My soul is full and overjoyed…I am so excited I am almost bouncing…your thoughts?  How does this day make you feel?  Share your thoughts, say whatever…but keep it positive.

Yep-you need to know every, single, word.

Lift every voice and sing
Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us,
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun
Let us march on till victory is won.

Stony the road we trod,
Bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;
Yet with a steady beat,
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears have been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered,
Out from the gloomy past,
Till now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.

God of our weary years,
God of our silent tears,
Thou who has brought us thus far on the way;
Thou who has by Thy might
Led us into the light,
Keep us forever in the path, we pray.
Lest our feet stray from the places, Our God, where we met Thee;
Lest, our hearts drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee;
Shadowed beneath Thy hand,
May we forever stand.
True to our GOD,
True to our native land

Why Do Men Cheat? January 19, 2009

When I think of the ulitmate cheater, I think of Kobe Bryant.  There’s no excuse for cheating, one can ever say anything to convince me of it.  If you are not happy, simply leave.  Or do I live in a  fantasy world? 

At any rate, I  listen to what men have to say about cheating,  I read the books.  I am intrigued with the male pscyche.   I have my ideal relationship, but I’m not naive. 

I was able to pick the brains of SBM and Slim and get their opinions on it.

SBM

There is a common misconception in society nowadays that men cheat … when this is far from the truth.  Men never have and probably never will cheat.  We are genetically coded to sleep around … so therefore we aren’t cheating … we are just helping to continue human evolution and ensuring the survival of our species.

Now that I have managed to run off the prudes and those easily offended … let me first say that was a joke … and any n***a who tells you that mess is full of sh**.

I don’t know why men cheat to be honest.  I wanted to just say “new p***y” and just leave it at that … but a lot of times its old p***s that causes trouble.  This question should be why do people cheat … because I think the concept that men cheat more than women is a common misconception that isn’t true … but I digress.

The simplest and most common reason I think men cheat is … “It’s hard for a man to turn down p***y”.  Most men aren’t offered sex.  I think most guys are blatantly approached for just sex without putting in any effort.  At minimum … he first approached the girl and got the number.  When sex comes easy … I mean really easy … it’s like finding $20 on the ground … you know you should go turn it in somewhere … but your probably going to take it and run and count your luck.

But … I will admit … as someone who is a chronic non-cheater and big on monogamy (didn’t say relationships … but dipping in only one well and fighting this ass multitasking nonsense) … I am not the best person to speak on it.  My friends are “good guys” and cheating is foreign to me … so my simple answer may not explain all … or even most … but … let it be one more opinion to add to the pot.

Slim

One good way to get a dude to slide off is to be one way before you officially start dating, and then become complacent and lazy once yall are official. For instance, at the beginning of ish you’re going to the gym, eatin healthy, and taking care of your appearance. After some time dating, shorty gets complacent and unattractive. Another chick will catch you slippin’ and then he’ll be slippin’ sumthin somewhere else…even if he still loves the person you are.

Another good way to get a dude to dive into another sea of love is to not take interest in those things that he takes pride in. If he plays in a basketball league and you never go to his games but another “friend” does, well…we know where this one is going. First it’s her going to his game, then them going to an NBA/college game, then she runs a little game, then dude is in bed with her playin a little 1 on 1.

Other dudes just cheat cuz they don’t know how to handle commitment. They may feel obligated to be in the relationship, when they know they shouldn’t be. That is something that I will never fully understand. Men really can be dumb sometimes!

*** 8:40 am edit ***

WhySo

I’d love to get all philosophical and super scientifical cause this is complicated. Let’s make it easy…

Men cheat because it’s available. That’s the simplest way to put it…   

As I’ve said before, men value freedom and women value security. At times, a guy would like to excercise that freedom….which might lead to cheating.

Another reason is that maybe the woman did the [dreaded] bait and switch on him. I.e. they get together and she suddenly stops spinning on the ceiling fan for him, now that’s she’s got him. He might just want to get that a1 treatment and go back to his wife/gf.

But what do I know? I’m just an average [super]hero.

Why. So. Serious!