So What? Who Cares? June 30, 2009

I have a lot of Joy Behar (from the View) moments:

Sometimes I’m a Whoopi, trying to find the silver lining…sometimes I’m an Elizabeth, very passionate….and I even have Sherry times, where I just don’t know what people are talking about…

I have to say so what? who cares? about this politician and his extramarital affairs in Argentina. Remember when our politicians were screwing around and everyone knew but nobody really cared? I wanna go back to that. President JFK may be the most notorious playboy in the history of the white house and no one ever wanted to put him on a stand and judge him or wanted him to resign from his postion.

We really tried to impeach a President because he got some head….are we that bored, now?I really don’t care to hear how this “Maria” broad is this politician’s soul mate and how he’s trying to have the same love for his wife…who da f*ck cares? I feel like as long as your doing your job…making my city work, accomplishing the things you set out to accomplish while in office…f*ck whoever you want

If you wanna go back too….lemme know!

I’m Just Not Sure…What Do You Think? June 30, 2009

In my recent travels through the dating world I’ve come across a lot of different things…we all know that I don’t kick you off the roster for any old offense but it does take some real stuff for me to do it.  Anyways, there are two big things that have been said to me in the past three months that really stood out…

Sometimes the spark leaves and you can’t really get it back.

The Outdoorsy one said this to me one day.  I just looked at him like he’d lost his mind.  Whatever do you mean?  Of course you can get the spark back-that’s why people always talk about reigniting the flames.  So anyways…I had to think about these for a number of days.  Is he right?  Well…upon further ruminations I realized that he is right.  The spark may get low, but doesn’t fully die.  Here’s what I learned from him though…each individual’s spark may die…his or mine, but the other person’s flame likely shines so bright there’s generally no reason to part.

The second thing I’ve learned is much more in detail…

An older man…(we all know I like those) outlined for me several marital tenets.  I just want to high light about three…bear with me please.

1. Each mate’s rights. OK …here we go…the scenario is the following…you and your husband have had a fight he calls you and tells you he’s gonna blow off steam with the boys.  Don’t hold dinner and he’ll be home at a reasonable time.  At 5pm you call and tell him to come home.  Welp…apparently we ladies (the gentlemen too) have the right to request that their mate come home.

2. There should be no sex before marriage. This one was tough for me.  I could not believe anyone in 2009 would ev er tell me this.  After an explanation of why (knowing how I’ve done things lately) I’d say he might be correct.  Sex really does cloud things.  And the sheer anticipation of it all plus wanting to please your new husband or wife makes that release oh so sweet.

3. IF a woman cheats, it’s the man’s fault. I’m gonna side eye this and we’ll talk about it later

Anyways, the final thing is so much more shocking that I can’t even enumerate it I want it to be read in this paragraph.

Much like Jada told Will..there will be no divorce.  Anything that comes up has to be worked on.  I think this is a good idea.  Think about it…you understand at the very beginning of everything you already know what you’ll have to work on.  You know ahead of time that this is your mate and they have your back…

Steal Away June 28, 2009

 

MUSIC BREAK:  I’m feeling this song right now - Mary J. Blige- \”Steal Away\”  I wonder why this song wasn’t released as a single… when I first heard it, I played it OUT.    This one too- Justin Timberlake- \”Let\’s Take a Ride\”.

Anywho, both songs are about basically packing up and leaving.  Mary’s is more short term- she wants to go for just a day.  I’d love to do that (with my beau right beside me).  I want to escape plenty of things- my job, my friends, bills, school, my cell phone- Life. 

My dream “steal away” moment would be at least a week… We’d rent  a convertible (I wanna feel the wind on my scalp) and just drive with no real plan.  We’d stop and see the sites and eat at restaurants that you might see showcased on “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.”  (If u don’t know, I love to eat- it’s my favorite.)  The hotels we’d stay in don’t have to be anything exquisite, but I’d strongly prefer nothing that can be mistaken as the setting of  Vacancy. 

What about you- what would u steal away from? Where would you go? What would you do?  Who would you screw take?   (Those last three questions are the chorus to “24 Hours to Live,”  btw.)

Do You Remember The Time? June 26, 2009

With the passing of a great and prolific pop icon I would like for us to take the time to “remember the time” of something great in our lives…. A lot of times we take things for granted… we often worry and ponder about things against our will. At this time what has happened in your life that you remember that is a “great defining” moment or a person who has been instrumental in making you the person you are today??

While you think read these lyrics from Micheal Jackson’s Remember The Time…..

Do You Remember
When We Fell In Love
We Were Young
And Innocent Then
Do You Remember
How It All Began
It Just Seemed Like Heaven
So Why Did It End?

Do You Remember
Back In The Fall
We’d Be Together
All Day Long
Do You Remember
Us Holding Hands
In Each Other’s Eyes
We’d Stare
(Tell Me)

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Do You Remember
How We Used To Talk
(Ya Know)
We’d Stay On The Phone
At Night Till Dawn
Do You Remember
All The Things We Said Like
I Love You So
I’ll Never Let You Go

Do You Remember
Back In The Spring
Every Morning Birds Would Sing
Do You Remember
Those Special Times
They’ll Just Go On And On
In The Back Of My Mind

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met Girl
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
Those Sweet Memories
Will Always Be Dear To Me
And Girl No Matter What Was Said
I Will Never Forget What We Had
Now Baby

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time
When We First Met
Do You Remember The Time
When We Fell In Love
Do You Remember The Time

Remember The Times
Ooh
Remember The Times
Do You Remember Girl
Remember The Times
On The Phone You And Me
Remember The Times
Till Dawn, Two Or Three
What About Us Girl

Remember The Times
Do You. Do You, Do You,
Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
In The Park, On The Beach
Remember The Times
You And Me In Spain
Remember The Times
What About, What About…

Remember The Times
Ooh… In The Park
Remember The Times
After Dark…, Do You, Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
Do You, Do You, Do You, Do You
Remember The Times
Yeah Yeah
Remember The Times

 WE LOVE AND MISS YOU MJ!

Don’t Cry For Me Argentina! June 25, 2009

Last week while cleaning the bathroom I heard something interesting come out of my TV:

“South Carolina governor Mark Sanford has disappeared.  There has been no word of his whereabouts.  His family and staff are deeply concerned.”

I thought…oh no-something must be really wrong.  Then I thought..nope he’s done something wrong…stole money?  Made a deal for a Senate seat?  Then I realized he must be having an affair.

BINGO!

Little did I know that a mere one week later it would come out that he was in Argentina, where his lover is from.  I never would have believed that his wife would stand by his side and announce that yes she knew about the affair and indeed had known all along, but was trying to work out.  She further noted that there would be a trial separation to help her preserve dignity and respect (especially among her children).

Trial separation?  And you’re still standing there…he wants to work it out and that’s fine and all…but how could he work out his marriage in Argentina?  Somebody tell me is there something I’m missing here?

Ladies, would you take him back or allow this option?  Men, would you indeed any of what former Gov. Sanford did?

Oh and anybody seen Peyso?

I am NOT the father June 23, 2009

So, Father’s Day has come and gone. And I received 4 “Happy Father’s Day” text messages from well-meaning friends. I don’t know when it became cool to start calling our mothers our fathers because they’ve done everything for us (those from single-parent homes) Yes, she may have done everything…and I do everything for my son, but….mother’s can never replace fathers. There is a bond and a different feeling you have towards your father, that you cannot have with your mother. I did not have my father in my life for the majority of it. We spoke a little. I knew who he was. To many of my siblings (who I feel are bitter that he wasn’t there) he’s Fred….to me he’s dad. There’s just something there that’s unexplainable and reach’s beyond his lack of parenting as I was growing up. Maybe I’m just more forgiving because you can’t change the past but you can work towards a better future.

I don’t think anyone if given the choice of having both parents instead of one…would choose to have their mother parent them alone. Though I am not marrying the father of my child, I can only hope that my son’s father would remain in his life in the fatherly capacity. I never experienced a step-dad so I don’t know how my son will feel towards my future husband. I feel like the blood bonds you. I have family members that I did not grow up with but care about just off the strength that we are connected through blood. Ones that I CAN’T STAND but love regardless.

My bigger and main point is mother’s…all mother’s…single, surrogate, and what not…have their day. Whether they’re “playing” all the roles or not…they have their day. Leave the father’s day to acknowledge the father’s that embody the word and not water it down to make mother’s who do it all by themselves feel comfortable about it. It’s been proven that it can be done, but no one WANTS to do it by themselves.

Why Michelle Had the Right Idea June 22, 2009

So by now we all know that the guy got the girl.

That’s right the skinny boy with the big ears got the South Chicago chick from the South Suburbs…but why?  And how?

Well…she saw potential…I’m not going to go into deep detail but I want everybody to think about something for a moment…how far out of your comfort zone do you go to find companionship?  Would you date someone making less?  Someone whose looks weren’t completely on point although they treat you perfect?

Check out this article.  Then tell me what you think…are you willing to see some potential and let it ride…or do you want someone whose already completely successful?  My answer…later.

Officially Missing You June 21, 2009

When I wrote this post, it was Friday and I missed my beau A LOT… so I was having a sad day.    As some of yaw know, I’m in a long distance relationship…  While at times like this, it’s very hard, he’s worth it.  I won’t complain about something as small as this because there are so many other good things about the situation. So I digress. 

Annnnnd to lighten things up, here’s a list of other things I miss:

1.  No bills!  (God, I’d love to have my parents pay for everything again);

2.  Virginity (when u don’t know anything about s3x, you never miss it);

3.  Being able to eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce of weight (’nuff said!);

4.  Spending an entire day at my girls’ home on their porch doing nothing and loving every minute of it (now, I really don’t have time/ energy to kick it);

5.  Being able to watch a movie at home and not fall asleep (goodness, is this what age does?  I have attempted to watch “Mirrors” thrice, to no avail). 

That’s all I got-  coming right off the dome.  What do you miss, good people? 

Aside- I just adore Tamia, she has the best singing voice. Where has she been?  Further Aside:  I have a homegirl who I swear looks like her, freckles and everything. 

Do You Have Scare Tactics? June 19, 2009

So I got my weekly eHarmony newsletter subscription and my fav article this week was Five Ways to Scare a Guy Away. The title initially caught my eye because as being back on the market I wanted to know had I been possessing some psycho tendencies that have shooing away male suitors. To my relief I haven’t, but I definitely know some women (especially a couple of friends or friends of friends) who are guilty of doing some of the things the eHarmony writer has put out there. According to the article here are the five scare tactics that women do:

1) Those Three Little Words

While it’s clear that men like to hear that you love them, timing is everything. So while you may be excited to have finally found someone you’re compatible with, try to rein in the desire to blurt out that you’ve totally fallen for him for at least a couple of months. Say it during the first few dates, and his mind will process those three precious words into one scary one: psycho. He needs to time to process what he’s feeling about you, and you both need time for infatuation to settle into something more real.

2) Cracking Knuckles and other Manly Moves

The days of women casting coy smiles from behind paper fans may be long gone, but a guy still appreciates a little femininity in his potential love match.

So while those tricks where you crack open a beer bottle with your teeth and say the names of everyone in the room with a belch are no doubt impressive, you should think about promoting your gentler qualities in a relationship’s early stages. He’s not looking for a return to Victorian values, but he’d probably like to think he could beat you in a Jäger shoot-out or an arm-wrestling match. Even if he can’t.

3) Going Bridal

Okay, we know that one day you might want to get married – we’re not stupid – but there’s an order to these things, and subscribing to the bride and wedding magazines and studying your diamond cuts before you’ve even met a guy is classic carat-before-horse territory. So when he turns up at your place and sees a bookshelf full of dog-eared bridal magazines and your computer’s home page set to Enchanted Weddings, he’s likely to suddenly get very busy at work. Wanting to get married to a man you love is one thing, trying to fit a mysterious anybody into your wedding-day fantasy is another.

4) Hey Kids, Meet your New Daddy

Realistically, in our fractured world men know that the chances of meeting and falling for a single mom are significant. For many it’s an instant no-no, and if that’s your situation, best to know up front. However, for those men not put off by the first mention of Junior, they’ll still be walking into the situation one tentative step at a time, and telling him too early what a great daddy he’s going to make to your kids will make him break out in a cold sweat. So while ultimately you’re a package deal – and it’s important that he knows that – let him get to know you first.

Once you feel that your relationship has had a chance to establish itself, then gently introduce the little one(s). And remember: initially he’s not going to be as in love with them as you are, so give him a chance to establish a relationship with them too.

5) My Ex was a Psycho/My Ex was the Greatest

We get it – you have an ex-boyfriend. Hey, maybe you’ve got five. Or 10 or 20. We know, but there are telltale signs when this could be a problem for us. First is when you go all glassy-eyed at the mention of his name – worse if the subject came up after we noticed it tattooed on your wrist. He may have been a master surgeon with rock-solid abs and a second home in Hawaii, but we’d rather not know too much about it if it’s all the same with you, as we know we’ll never compare.

Similarly, we understand that he may have tormented you emotionally/slept with your sister/kidnapped your dog, but that just makes us wonder one thing: why’d you go out with him so long? It doesn’t speak highly of your selection process, and ergo why you’ve chosen us. We’ve all got a past – let’s just keep it there.

So my questions for the Ladies are any you guilty of committing any of the tactics above? Have you committed any others that aren’t listed that scared a guy away? And Guys what are some things that have been a turn off for you dealing with a female?

What’s In A Name? June 17, 2009

*candles lit.  i know it’s early, but have some wine…*

While having a discussion with a friend of mine earlier in the week we stumbled upon a discussion on the different between fycking, making love and sex.

I don’t really see a difference.

Love making is a zone, and hey…I’m just built like this.

A little musical inspiration…ooooh yeah….
He does.

W hen I questioned why he felt the way he felt he broke it down to me in the following way:

Fycking-This begins with a phone call where there’s barely a hello exchanged…you say “let’s meet in the park and fyck”.  Now when this “session” is over you don’t even clean up…you just put your clothes on and leave.  I was kinda well d@mn.  So anyways, after he explained this he went on to the cosmic journey of it all…

Making love-This is apparently the masterpiece.  Think of it like this…apparently it’s not pre-planned…there are “arrangements” that have to be made..yes you heard right…”arrangements” this means that you must go out to dinner or a walk in the park..something to build up.  You don’t just want to force your way into the situation and this is reserved for someone you really care about.

At this point I’m thinking “OK maybe you’re looney”…and then I asked him a question…

What part of that takes you back to your former self (man-ho)?

The answer: None-I can’t do that, I care.

Maybe ninety days does make a difference…

So ladies and gentlemen..what do you think is the difference?  Do you think when you’re in a committed relationship things change and it’s more making love OR do you think every now then needs to be do it like you don’t know me?

And I still need to know some seduction techniques and preps…music?  candles? wine? scents? baths? What does it?  Come on I thirst for knowledge…

BTW-Peyso will be back soon (God I hope)