Today we’re continuing letting the Brothers speak… Enjoy a post from the doctor! Dr. J’s got all the answers (well most:))
Little Miss Sunshine is one of my favorite movies, my favorite character is the grandfather and I think he became my favorite character when he told his grandson the following; “F*ck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.” As much as that statement was crazy, should you ever need this advice it’s a definite sign that your parents or grandparents think you’re not that into women. Simply put, men are born with a natural instinct to have sex with a lot of women. It’s quite disgusting, I know, tell me something I don’t. Women wonder sometimes, why is it that men will stick their junk in anything? I’m going to attempt to answer them today. In exchange for immunity, I’m going to tell the women the motive. (Note, I’m only really snitching on the men who aren’t really on top of their game.) Men are genetically designed to sleep with a lot of women. Haven’t you heard the following before, “If God wanted us to be with one woman, why did he give us all that sperm?!” The average man ejaculates about 200-300 million sperm a pop. In addition, men don’t have to take any days off during the month. Women can only fertilize at most, two eggs at a time, and spend 3-7 days a month going from rags to riches. (I understand that someone of you are reckless drivers and don’t mind running the red light, but for the sake of the argument, please slow down.) Lastly, men don’t get pregnant, and with 52 weeks in a year, a pregnancy can take a woman out of the game for 40 weeks. You thought I was going to leave this argument open to discussion? Men need something to talk about with our boys. Men only really talk about three things; money, sex and sports. And even when talking about money or sports it comes back to a conversation about sex. So the more sex we have the more stories we can tell. And every sex story must be outdone, the conversation is not over until no man can tell a better sex tale than the one before him without recycling a story heard by everyone who is present. If there is a new person in the conversation you may recycle because that person has not heard the tale before. These games can go on for hours. Some of the hardest things in life to say no to are; crying mothers and sex. Barring a few exceptions most men will tackle any tackle box they can find, whether it be conscious or not. A lot of men would like to admit they would remain faithful to their partners, but they fail to realize the effects of a completely naked beautiful woman’s attempts to seduce him. I mean, any man who has had sex before know the feeling of being inside of a woman and he tries to do it as often as possible. For the sake of argument, I’ll throw one excuse out. Some people believe you have to see what you like, you don’t have to sleep with a LOT of women to find out what you like. For men, the end result of sex is pretty much the same wherever you go, you came. They are different variations and certain quirks to different types, but you can sleep with less than 12 women to find out, this is not a valid excuse. Last, but not least, and probably the best reason is because there’s no reason not to sleep with a lot of women. It’s socially accepted that men will sleep with tons of women. It’s also always more than enough women offering up sex. If a man sleeps with 100 women by the time he’s 25, in reality, what is going to happen to him? He’s going to have a kid or two, big deal, he’ll probably just not take care of them anyway. The point is, society is set up in a way that enables men to sleep with a lot of women. The men who don’t sleep with a lot of women, well they’re going against the grain. (Clap for them.) If you really want to see the sad state affairs think about how many women blame other women when their man cheats. Think about how many mothers, aunts and grandmothers tell young women, “Well, a man has to be a man.” “These are my thoughts, I sleep through the night.” – @DrJayJack
I don’t believe men are born with this ‘natural instinct.’ They are biologically capable of doing so, no doubt, but you are giving that part of nature way too much credit. But you’re exactly right in the latter part of your comment, the behavior is learned, and then promoted, endorsed, propagated by our society, their family, peers, and worse the women who allow them the luxury.
I’m sorry, but this is one of the most nonsensical things I’ve ever ready. So you’re saying men have sex because they have a lot of sperm, they need things to talk about with other men and society allows it. Yawn.
At times people think that it doesn’t make sense, no one is saying that it ever made any sense. Inside the mind of a man is a strange place, and a female shouldn’t spend too much time trying to figure out whether it makes sense to them or not, just read and listen.
Here’s what’s funny about this post though; women will ask you, Why do you guys feel the need to sleep with so many women? You tell them and they are like, that doesn’t make any sense, I don’t buy it.
You asked?! We tell you. Please tell us how to answer the question, or if you would rather answer the question for us.
this amused me, as Dr. J usually does. I’d argue that monogamy itself isn’t a natural instinct period for either sex, but rather a social construct. Men get away with sleeping with more people because of the gender roles. eh, it is what it is. I don’t think it has anything to do with the amount of sperm, but I did laugh.
That’s a to to digest. I always thought God gave men all that sperm so that they could do their part in being “fruitful and multiplying”. Just because he doesn’t have to take a break he doesn’t have to stick it to everything that walks.
Like lapreghiera said, I do think it’s a good point that society makes it more acceptable for a man to sleep around. Sometimes I think they lean on it too much. It’s like saying “society says that black women are angry, so let me go out here and be the ANGRIEST WOMAN I CAN BE!!” I think it’s up to each individual to decide how much sway society is going to have on how he or she chooses to comport him or herself.
@ Shannon and DrJ “Here’s what’s funny about this post though; women will ask you, Why do you guys feel the need to sleep with so many women? You tell them and they are like, that doesn’t make any sense, I don’t buy it.
You asked?! We tell you. Please tell us how to answer the question, or if you would rather answer the question for us.”
This!! I swear this is something that I hate about women lol. Dont ask me why I did something and then when I answer tell me that the answer I gave is untrue.
@lapreghiera – “I don’t believe men are born with this ‘natural instinct.’” How many animals do you see that are monogamous? I will admit that monogamy is a construct in which we have implicitly agreed upon when we chose to dwell in the society that we live in.
My answers to this question are: a) No pu$$y like new pu$$y b) it strokes the ever fragile male ego c) sometimes you’re only interested in the chase and oblige the woman b/c she’s expecting it now d) it is quite easy, provided you arent a clown e) if done correctly, there are no social or financial ramifications and lastly it fulfills some ever present manifest destiny feeling that I believe to be inate in men
Lol @ the post. I believe what Dr J has said. I always tell people. God does have a good sense of humor, you say you must sleep with as much new p as possible then you reap what you sow, pick between disease, baby you are not ready for along with possibility of crazy mother of child…o and the reduced chance that someone would want to take in you and your baggage once you have decided to slow down from sowing your wild oats. Nature did not mean for us to be monogamous my behind, why are there more consequences of leading a “polygamous” lifestyle then?
Peyso, you do make a good point about the if done correctly…but you have to remember, it can only be done correctly on your end. If a woman decides, you will father her baby, she will do everything to make sure it comes to pass (afterall men are powerless against the P right? holes will be poked in that condom, birth control pills will be forgotten).
I’d like to think men have a little more common sense than this but I might be very wrong.
I never said I didn’t believe it. But like you said, it’s the same thing that’s been said many times before. It doesn’t take a huge paragraph to wrap up what could have been said in one sentence. If it’s not complicated, then don’t make it seem complicated.
@Seriously – The consequences that you describe around living a polygamous lifestyle are all based on society and how we view polygamy and has absolutely nothing to do with the “natural” purpose. There are also consequences of leading a monogamous lifestyle as well. Those consequences are less societal and more natural. Less chances to pass on genes which from a biological standpoint is the purpose of our existence.
@Shannon – Where would be if whenever we could shrink a post down to one sentence we did it? I doubt you would read our one sentence lol
Peyso-true but I don’t think we are supposed to pass on genes recklessly, this is what’s happening right now. Genes are passed around selfishly (and like Dr J said, the man will think “hey I don’t need to take care of it) but someone has to. I get where Dr J is coming from but I question anyone that gives me that excuse…cause that’s what it is.
The consequences I listed are societal?? “Less chances to pass on genes which from a biological standpoint is the purpose of our existence” My brows furrowed at this but I quickly realized (or hoped at least) that you are just joking. Natural purpose was not for us to be irresponsible in our actions.
@Seriously – No jokes. It is undeniable that our biological and natural purpose is to pass on our genes. I think you may think that I mean Natural and God intended are identical. However, I do not. Natural, in the way that I’m using it, only relates to how the male anatomy is structured and how males of various species have acted over time. Furthermore, by taking part in society we give up the right to pursue our biological purposes for their own sake. So no, we should be spreading our genes irresponsibly today despite what nature calls for.
this is true only of socially underdeveloped men, who possess merely an elementary understanding of interpersonal skill
Liz that was direct hating… some of the greatest men of our time have slept with hundreds of women. The amount of women you sleep with has nothing to do with social development or interpersonal skills.
Sidenote, don’t use those big words again and be so wrong.
But thanks for reading!
DR J gettin them madddd LMAOOOO
Im not upset or angered about this post!
I have to say this post doesn’t anger me at all either.
I respect what Dr. J is saying and I think we as women need to listen more when men talk to us and take the lessons.
Peyso, for humans it is not about spreading seed, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many men owing and dodging back child support, its about busting a nut. While its true there is no life time mating in most of the animal kingdom, most mammals are not ready willing and able to do the do 24/7. That includes the male of the species, I mean you know how yall are when the little head gets inflated. How is a deer gonna run from a hungry bear, or the bear hunt for food if all they can think about is getting some?? For most animals, taking time to mate puts them in a very vulnerable position on the food chain for a period of time. Then once a male finds a female in heat, they stay together to copulate several times during the day, week, season. While the male may have millions of sperm available, he needs to be sure that his seed is the one that takes, cause another horny beast in the same territory could jump on that after he is gone and end up the baby daddy. I believe some wild dogs stay conjoined for hours, and another animal their sperm has the ability to kill rival sperm. And for most large animals, the males, its one and done. It is too dangerous in the jungle to be laid up with every piece of tail that comes past. For eleplants, talk about blowing her back out – you just might! The only animals off top that might be humpin around are domesticated cats or DOGS, because they live lives of leisure and ease, compared to their wild cousins.
So maybe you brothas should take a lesson from nature and pace yourselves.
Thank you for reading this National Geographic brief
Wow this was an interesting read and truly not upsetting in the least. All the male friends I have and there have been many round table discussions on why men sleep with so many women..like Peyso said “No pu$$y like new pu$$y” that has been the number 1 reason followed by the chase and society says it is ok and a “man will be a man” Do I agree? No. Do I like the answer? No. I have to at least be willing to hear the answer.
Nope, not hating….just want to be clear, this is not true of all men….only a specific type.
““No pu$$y like new pu$$y” seems to be the answer most of my male friends give me when I ask the question–why do men sleep around.
I do think that if a man wants to be faithful he can. It’s all about choices.
What are men? Humans, right? What are humans? Air-breathing mammals. Don’t believe me? Look it up.
That being said, I challenge you to identify one mammal species in the animal kingdom wherein the males are STRICTLY monogamous. I’m talking MAMMALS here, not birds, or sea horses. The fact is that no mammalian species is. Wolves, for example, are generally “monogamous” in the sense that they will pair with a female and raise pups. But male wolves will also breed polygamously if he is unrelated to the female.
Its been said here, but monogamy IS a social construct. Men just aren’t DESIGNED to be with one woman even if they HAVE one woman. Men are hunters by instinct. We hunt. Be it for food, tail, or something good on TV. I know it sucks ladies. But the truth really is that simple.
Really? You are so entitled to women, aren’t you?
Some men learn that type of behavior, and others reject morals or doing the right thing vs. animal urges.
My male friends are family (the vast majority) are not the male sluts or deviants that you describe.
Clearly your one person who may not be faithful to a lovley woman!! You dont need to go around having sex to find out what you like!
Most people can meet just one person and have sex with them when there comfortable around them and ask what feels good and such!!
Every person is different all men arent the same and get the same satisfaction of million of different whores including men!!
Sex is alot nicer when you love the person…
Not when your using them for 1 night and cant talk with them afterwards about how goood it felt or whatever … Instead your putting your clothes on walkin out the door!
So i think “men who have meaning less sex with lots of different women who they have no feeling for” are quite sad and wont ever feel loved by someone there “having SEX” with ….
Its a waste of sperm and energy in my opinion and you just end up feeling like and easy and used person after it! And only end up proving you have no respect or diginity for yourself so i feel sorry for people who dont feel respected and loved while “having sex”…
Congradulations your making most your gender seem like emotionless scumbags!!
Clearly your one person who may not be faithful to a lovley woman!! You dont need to go around having sex to find out what you like!
Most people can meet just one person and have sex with them when there comfortable around them and ask what feels good and such!!
Every person is different all men arent the same and get the same satisfaction of million of different whores including men!!
Sex is alot nicer when you love the person…
Not when your using them for 1 night and cant talk with them afterwards about how goood it felt or whatever … Instead your putting your clothes on walkin out the door!
So i think “men who have meaning less sex with lots of different women who they have no feeling for” are quite sad and wont ever feel loved by someone there “having SEX” with ….
Its a waste of sperm and energy in my opinion and you just end up feeling like and easy and used person after it! And only end up proving you have no respect or diginity for yourself so i feel sorry for people who dont feel respected and loved while “having sex”…
Congradulations your making most your gender seem like emotionless scumbags!!
@curious George….A mammal that practices true monogamy=prairie voles…look it up brother.
I agree and disagree with some of the statements written.
Number 1-God did instill sexual desire as a natural human instinct but let’s not forget people that it exists in both men and women. I would say that yes men have a lot of sperm friends but of course that does not constitute any claim that they are “inherently” drawn to sleeping with many women. A man needs lots of sperm buddies in the first place because they die so easily!!! The reason he pumps out all those trillions of possible babies is because once they enter the realm of the female they are likely to be murdered by all types of acid and die from the trek and well just read up on biology..
Number 2-Men, in reaching sexual maturity so soon do “like the ladies” but it is truly our environment which promotes or restricts that behavior. The US post sexual revolution era is still battling with ideas of “free sex” and that of the commitment to monogamy and marriage. We just can’t get it together in this country. On one hand we want to promote a relaxed sense of sexuality (by means of sexual exploration) but we wonder why families can’t get it together and end up screwed up because of someone’s adulterous behavior, porn addictions, avoiding accountability for child-rearing etc. Everyone wants everything without realizing we are fighting a losing battle.
Number 3-Sex is not about morality, its physical act, a desire that is in inherent in almost every living thing. Unless you practice sex in a moral context…say actually practicing a religion that calls for sex only in the context of marriage like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam then it would be difficult to question the moral implications of anyone who just wants to get it in.
Number 4-The reason why men sleep with so many women, is because women let them! Men can’t get it unless you hand it to them on a silver platter. I’m all for bashing males when it’s due but females are just as guilty. Women no longer respect their bodies and look at the risks of becoming physically involved (unwanted pregnancies, STDs and other diseases, partner abandonment) because they too are only about focusing on the immediate physical pleasure of what they are getting into.
Last but not least….lets not be so privy to lowering the higher human conscious and all that it can and SHOULD achieve with animals. Remember dogs sniff butts and eat their own poop. Mice eat their babies. Praying mantises eat the heads of their lovers. Just because animals How many of you think humans should do that? Therefore if animals have sex all over the place doesn’t mean I should too.
Just food for thought.
There are a lot of responses saying “You don’t have to sleep with a lot of people to find what you like”. Has anyone considered that what the person likes isn’t a particular person, but sex itself?
Why do we ever do anything?
1. We have to (job/school/etc)
2. We want to
3. It is expected of us (and we succumb to the pressure).
Why do we ever stop doing something?
1. We no longer have to
2. We no longer want to
3. It is not expected of us (and we got tired of doing it).
How does sex fit into this?
1. It is something a lot of men want to do.
2. It is something where expectations facilitate what men are doing.
3. It will be many years before the sex drive drops.
So, if sleeping around is something a guy wants to do, and there is practically social encouragement for him to do so, why the guy will do so shouldn’t be much of a mystery.
If I want to drink lots of water, and there is plenty of water available for me to drink, and most people are fine with me drinking up all the water I want, what reason do I have to stop drinking?
There has to be something from the why we stop list, that interrupts that cycle. Something that you want more than sex. Something that gives you a greater obligation to fulfill than sex. If there is nothing there to change the guy’s mindset, there should be no expectation of a change in his behavior.
Maybe we do it because it feels good? IDK…bunch of entitled sluts that feel like there vagina is special.
I wasn’t like most other teenagers, having sex early. I was raised to wait for marriaage until I was monkey raped. I lost my respect for men, sex, and relationships after that. Even though I wasn’t going thru the motions like you see in Lifetime Movies, I became promiscuous and all of my relationships have been abusive and short lived. I also have had two divorces and can’t have babies. I just found someone I actually dig, and we built up the anticipation for unprotected sex because both of us wanted children. I was getting happy because my period was 3 weeks late, and then I bled. So my sexual desire is gone. My sex life sucked from beginning to end because I was always the victim of men who just wanted to “bust a nut”. Because of this reckless mentality I can’t love anyone, I don’t want to be loved, I have no desire for marriage, children, I don’t even like stroking men ego’s or doing anything to support them because I hate being treated like fodder,cattle. So I basically have it going on in other aspects of my life, I have it all and men see this but they can’t come near me, it frustrates them, they become aggressive to the point of wanting to take it from me. Will this cycle ever end?
Get the f*outtahere….
For the men that do sleep with many women, You are the WEAKEST link goodbye.
You are what’s wrong with FREE WILL—ever heard the saying just because you CAN does not mean you SHOULD.
Women have the same thoughts at time—we get BORED, we like different stuff, we like the NEW NEW as well…..but as USUAL we are BETTER at CONTROLLING our HORMONES. So maybe this is why blak men WILL NEVER Get a pass for this….Only little KIDS allow hormones to control them.
Where did you get your degree from ? and What research did you base your findings on ? Many of your thoughts seem personal , some of your article as facts but seems to be altered .
The truth being if men were designed to have many women , why are Black and Latino men on the rise for AIDS and STDS . I do fell that American has accepted not have a monogous relationships . Many children are born in single family households , without fathers because of your article . Please , take your time to think about the information that you are sending to a culture , where the morals are almost gone . I hope your objective in writing your article was suppose to taken lightly , because , i found it almost absurd and disgusting . We need more relationships that are strong enough to be not about sex but to be about love , so many people , especially children , my one day emulate .
i think the women commenting negatively on this article aren’t as smart as they would like to be. Jay provided the facts, and they ARE true. Your’re just mad that it’s happening and there’s nothing you can do about it. All men who sleep around do it for the reasons he mentioned. And to the women saying men who sleep around are ‘sad’ because they haven’t found love and all that shit, have yu ever stopped to think that these men actually ENJOY doing this? These women we sleep with agree to do it, they use us the same way we use them.. Deal with it. WE AREN’T GOING TO STOP.
Love the last post! I agree, men are supposed to sleep around, its built into our biology so we can pass on our dna to as many offspring as possible. Sure, we can make a conscious decision to settle down eventually but when we are young and fertile nothing is more satisfying than having sex with a variety of women.
Women are the same except they become less fertiel sooner so want to settle down earlier.
Sure there are exceptions but looking at our species as a whole, that is how it works – and as humans its worked for 600,000 years, and it’s been working for almost every species of animal on the planet for about 3,500,000 years.
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I agree with this poster, men do tend to think that way. Although i am a woman men have given me the same excuse time and time again. Reality chevk, men you were not given some type of “sleep with a million women dna” that is a really fked up excuse that completely lacks face validity. First of all, your behavior of wanting to sleep with a million women is voluntary; hence it is a learned behavior , we could thank Pavlov for teaching us about pairing unconditioned stimulus with positive reinforcement…which would be regarded to society who encourages the male pee brain to “spread thier seed” since the beginning of time… Im not even going to start on how the concept of hoe men thinking they should fk every living thing even originated becase it predates mankind and im not going to go off on a tangent..
But i will say to the person who wrote about gender roles, that fking a million girls just bc you can and society doesnt frown upon it is not a gender role ..
Think about the word fragile and think of the word strong… Society Pin pointed what gender those should belong to..with indirect meanings..
So gender roles are prehistoric and man made .. Something that has survived because we have given it so much meaning…
Akid or two, big deal?? Wow that has to be the most outright ignorant statement ever!!!
My last word to all you men out there who think it was in thier dna to fk as many women possible.. Start thinking with the correct head!!!
You sound bitter, and immature remarks like”the male pee brain” don’t validate your augment. The fact is that the best way to survive is to have sex, and in doing so have children, with as many people as many times as you can. Its survival.
I appreciate that as conscious, thinking beings we can override that instinct and think more logically, but why would we? We get a kick out of it!
And the argument of saying its learned behavior; go look at the social structure of any country, its the same everywhere on earth, men WANT to have sex with as many partners as possible because its in their DNA. But of course there are always exceptions.
This is a topic so many people are unable to find a satisfactory answer to!
most guy’s say (no, think) that its their right and like an ex neighbor of mine would say he is helping the women folk(with what i wonder!) because it’s in their nature to .
After viewing Maury Povich show women cheat as much as men, about time.
I do not now. Maybe it is the male instinct. It is the flesh. It is weird and crazy. Well, that’s life. Not only straight guys are like that but believe me it is scary to find out that gay guys are the same like men and they cannot stand with just one single guy. What I gotta to do is accept them the way they are and I cannot change them. What if God created them as they are and if God make a man again like them. What I gotta do is accept them the way they are. I cannot do nothing.
Um genius…women have billions of eggs, so I guess we should be able to sleep around as well. Plus, hell no men are not SUPPOSED to sleep around…no one is! Why do you think Herpes and HIV exist? God put these merciless diseases to dissuade sleeping around. So no, don’ teven try to use that excuse that men are “hard wired” have many sexual partners. It was necesarry in the beginning to repopulate the Earth, but that has changed, we have evolved. Good day to you.
It’s true that we love women and would sleep with most women if given the chance. But at the same time most men do mature at one point or another in their lifes. A happily married man is most likely to stay faithful (even if he still loves looking at other women) the probem is that is real easy for men to have sex with lots of women, they offer it to you.. If sex continues to be that easy given to men its gonna be harder for us to commit.
@Leigh I do not mean to start a religious debate but at no point in history has there been a need to ‘re-populate’ and HIV and herpes were not put on earth by God to discourage sex, they are viruses that themselves have evolved to survive. The way they survive is by spreading through the cells of humans. Either way they are doing a poor job of ‘discouraging’ us, as people have carried on having sex and lots of it.
Claiming your creator kills off his children as a deterrent to something he created is a poor excuse.
Men are not supposed to sleep around, that is a myth. All religious beliefs and moral beliefs aside, there is a thing called evolution. The men who sleep around have not yet gone through this process.
The truth is, real men don’t use women. And vice versa. There have been studies done showing that promiscuous men and women are psychologically lacking in some way. Divorce, fathers left them, insecurity, etc. Also that promiscuous people are not as happy, do you know why? Because they are just using others as sex objects, not ever establishing any emotional connection, or being able to trust/ care about someone else. Why is that appealing I wonder? For men or women?
No, it is not normal, how can someone who just goes through men/women like they’re dirty socks honestly have any respect for them as human beings? The answer is they can’t. Men who do that do not like women, they like pu$$y. Women who do that don’t like men, they like dicl<.
True, no animal in the animal kingdom is monogamous, but you don't see many animals contracting HIV or Herpes either, do you? Keep in mind carrying and contracting are different.
No, they are animals, they are supossed to do that, which is why they are not subject to STDs like we are. Nature's way of telling us that obviously sleeping around isn't good (not to mention the fact that condoms will not save you from these aforementioned STDs).
Use your brains people. You have them for a reason.
One more thing, of course the man is going to say that he is enjoying it, and that he doesn't desire emotional connection and whatnot. Men are NOT in touch with themselves emotionally! If they're behavior was tied to emotional problems, they would not know it. Don't believe what they say, they're lacking somewhere, and obviously weren't raised any better than that.
I believe in general, if a man could find just one genuinely good girl, he'd be set. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
Thanks.
“there is a thing called evolution. The men who sleep around have not yet gone through this process.
The truth is, real men don’t use women. ”
The real men check is not part of evolution, just women whining about what they want in a man its never worked never will, women don’t know what they want.
“Divorce, fathers left them, insecurity, etc. ”
Blame it on the men yup.
Its not sleeping around that causes stds its sleeping with the wrong person and it only takes 1.
“One more thing, of course the man is going to say that he is enjoying it, and that he doesn’t desire emotional connection and whatnot. Men are NOT in touch with themselves emotionally! ”
Evolution and biologly. Its not always a good thing to break down and be emotional in most situations, if it was there would be no need for those type of men and women at all and if thats the case then deal with with people instead of crying about where have all the emotions gone lol.
Besides being an emotional wreck is underated and pointless imo. Most men have got better things to do than cry over chick flicks sorry if that makes us less evolved ladies.
“I believe in general, if a man could find just one genuinely good girl, he’d be set.”
Ah yes the mythical “real woman” you never know. Depends on what you mean by good girl.
la la i think your way off people can sleep around and still be happy. Not everyone wants a monogamous relationship or needs one to be happy. How do you know those people who sleep around arent also experiancing enjoyment romance passion love etc these things dont have a time limit before they are valid comon.
PS: Women don’t always need an emotional connection for sex either they mostly need a financial/security incentive before the emotions and babies come ive yet to see a woman marry down myself so dont go putting down men.
Hello again. bomazo is dead right. I’m surprised this argument still exists in the 21st century.
If you are genuinely interested then read on. Let me explain the evolutionary biology. All our behaviour and psychology is made up from the success of our ancestors reproducing.
Those who produced children would obviously pass on their characteristics to the next generation.
Homo-sapiens (us) have been around for about 600,000 years and humans (as a group) have been around for almost 2,300,000 years. People only started using contraception about 4000 years ago. This means that most of our sexual psychology (our desires and sexual needs) come from way before contraception. As far as our brain is concerned every sexual encounter is an attempt at reproduction.
If a man sleeps with one woman regularly without protection, there is a good chance she will get pregnant and successfully give birth to their offspring. There is a however a chance she is infertile or carries a genetic disease that will affect the child’s existence or survival.
If another man has sex with say 10 different women regularly, he has a better chance of producing offspring. This is because even if some of those women cannot produce healthy offspring he will still continue his DNA to the next generation through the women who can give birth to healthy offspring.
So the next generation of humans is made up mostly of men who have inherited their father’s passion for sex with multiple women.
It works exactly the same with women, the women who wanted to sleep around would have had a better chance of getting pregnant and passing on their characteristics.
This is why if it wasn’t for modern social convention and people worrying about being labelled most people would admit that, if given the choice they would like to have sexual relations with a number of different people.
If you can’t understand or accept this then you will either be very unhappy with your sex life and end up generalising and complaining about the opposite gender. As it seems many people on this topic have resorted to.
@Thomas,
I think what you are missing here is that people have evolved. Hence, not all men desire to treat women like sex objects, many actually want a caring relationship. Wouldn’t you consider them real men?
The truth of the matter is, we have free will and can make moral decisions that override biology or any type of evolutionary instinct. The truth is, men who sleep around have a problem with women. They dislike or seek to have power over women, and possibly had mother issues. The same with women, they have psychological issues that make them not care about themselves or their well being.
@Bomazo
You say that people can be happily promiscuous. Not true at all. Once again, people like this are lacking something, and just because they cannot identify it (which I said men can’t do, because they are not in touch with their emotional, or therefore psychological side) does not mean they cannot identify it.
I don’t know why people advocate men using women. As if women are just good for “planting your seed.” And also women using men.That is no way to treat people. You don’t need a religion to tell you that. And if STDs do not dissuade you from sleeping around, you are an idiot. I’m not gonna sugar-coat it.
And yes bambino, women do marry down. I’m not sure if you and I are operating in the same reality? I’ve known plenty of well-off women marrying men who don’t even have a job, no education, etc. and it’s going to get worse considering women are now far outnumbering men in US colleges.
Women don’t know what they want? I do. That trumps your whole theory… You seem to have a problem with women yourself… perhaps you should talk about it with someone?
Lala..
I agree that most men and women do ultimately want a long term relationship with someone, a long term relationship has its benefits too; companionship, reliability and safety.
Most people only settle down once they are too old to carry on with multiple partners. There are exceptions but most people want to live a promiscuous lifestyle for as long as they can. If you asked 100 18 year old from different places in the world and 100 28 year olds their sexual ideal, it would be regular sex with a variety of partners.
This is rooted in our instincts but also re-enforced by the media. Films adverts and TV shows encourage us to think of a promiscuous lifestyle as idealistic.
Whether or not it is morally right is a matter of opinion.
Your comment about men who lead such a lifestyle being unhappy or somehow mentally scarred is quite harsh. I disagree. Firstly I think men are as in touch with their emotions as women, its just that women have more emotions. What might cause an emotional response in a woman would not trigger such a response in a man. This is not because the man is a shell or is not in touch with himself but instead because the male brain thinks things through in a less ethical more practical way.
Also to suggest we have evolved in the last 5000 years or so is quite unlikely. Not only does evolution works far slower it also favours those with the most offspring, not those with the right moral outlook or ethical opinions.
I think this is where we are disagreeing. The question for this topic is “Why Do Guys Sleep With So Many Women?” which can be answered very easily scientifically. The disagreement comes when we ask, “Is it morally right for someone to sleep with multiple partners without long term commitment?”.
@Thomas,
I understand what you are saying, but I disagree with the assertion that “most people” only settle down after many partners. No, I would venture to say that this may be many, but not the majority. People are social creatures, we’re made to get along with and care for one another, so naturally, I’d think that we want someone to be there for, and to be there for us.
And oh, you’d be surprised what can happen in 5000 years. The truth is, many men do not sleep around, and the reason that they do can only be explained scientifically on the surface. Again, there are many more factors at play here, including how this person was raised, what he/she was taught, their outlook, etc. which all fall under psychology= Huge, huge player in this game. Sure, we can circumvent responsibilty by saying humans are biologically meant to be promiscuous , so therefore, I can’t control my genitals, but that would involve reducing us to beings that function essentially on instinct–animals–which we don’t.
Many things were acceptable 5000 years ago and before then to populate the human race that wouldn’t be acceptable now. For instance, incest anyone? In some, what could be refered to as primitive societies today, this is still practiced. Of course, our biological need to procreate doesn’t drive us to our sister’s/brother’s bed too much now, does it? So, because it was pertinent to do at one time does not make it inevitable today, much like promiscuity.
I don’t think monogamy or promiscuity are genetic/natural really, I think we have the free will to chose which we want to be. Whether this fluctuates over time depends on character, not biological/evolutionary theories.
I think this discussion is beginning to end. Although we still disagree on some issues we have found common ground in a few aspects.
As far as the ‘most people’ issue goes, I have tracked down a source with strong credibility, (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#number) which suggests men have an average of 7 partners and women 4 partners.
I completely agree psychology is a major factor in this. Your upbringing is hugely important. For example the sexual history of say and Amish person in the country, compared to someone in a living in a busy city with a promiscuous father, would be completely different. Also western shows like Friends and How i Met Your Mother influence teenagers with character like Joey and Barney, idealising their lifestyle.
Small point but, incest has never worked biologically for primates and most mammals. Within 1 or 2 generations the offspring become infertile or are born dead.
Finally, I agree again in part. Our bodies do try and guide us to a promiscuous nature but our minds can overide them and choose another path.
I’m a single guy at the age of 27 and I haven’t slept with a woman. However, I will admit that I’m very horny, and I masterbate to satisfy my sexual needs until I get married.
Im a guy and pretty much all of that is utter BULLSHIT
It’s because men feel wronged, they feel like they haven’t been able to fuck enough women when they where young teens and they need to recover the loss, recovery can take a long time, more than a 100 women can pass untill the man is finnaly satisfied with his life, something like, if i get hit by car the nex morning i made the best off my life, that’s how man think, they feel like every week they didn’t fuck is a week off there life they lost. they get frustrated, angry, this feeling never go’s away,
Men sleep around because it makes them feel good, feel important, and it is biological. I am a man. I have urges, and many men are simply too weak to control them or don’t care. Personally, I find it disgusting to see men and women sleeping around so often. It shows a lack of respect for your body and shows how weak and pathetic you are. A real man doesn’t need to pound every girl he meets and a real woman shouldn’t give him what he wants unless he has earned it.
In almost all animals the dominant male is extremely polygamous, having dozens of partners. Presumably the other males would want be him! The truth is it makes biological sense for a male to try to make as many females pregnant. In some species monogamy occurs, but typically this is when food sources are very scarce (some penguins in artic, birds in desert etc). In fact in historical times and in some cultures today (Islam, some Mormons, etc.) polygamy is accepted, to the discontent of the weaker males (I met a handsome, charming but poor man in Saudi Arabia who was virgin at 40!) , In ancient Rome for example, sleeping around for men and women was also more common, as was male bisexuality. With the advent of Christian morals in the West homosexuality and sleeping around were made taboo.
On a personal note I can say nothing is as gratifying as making love to 3 beautiful ladies in 3 days or 2 in the same day. You just feel good! Please ladies do not tell me you cannot “make love” to 3 women in 3 days. An alpha male can, with all his heart and sperm for you.
The average marriage last 7 years, this is the time to make a female pregnant and raise a child to age of 5, coincidence? Women are more likely to favor “manly” males when they are ovulating and kinder looking males when not fertile ( scientific studies, look it up!), makes sense no? Go to a club and see there are always more “available” men than women….. We can try to constrain our biological primate self with socialization (in the case of this post mostly Judeo-Christian morals) , but I think I speak for most men when I saw we are Dawgs (canines please do not be offended). Embrace thy nature!
so this post is bogus. let’s be real here. none of us even need to ask a man. it’s in human nature to want sex, but how we act on it is totally dictated by nurture: culture, family, values, society etc
men sleep around not because of nature, but because that behavior is endorsed. quite honestly when it comes to sex men just don’t have morals. they frequently want to be with a girl that does not sleep around but what they don’t understand is women like that DON’T WANT A GUY THAT is a hoe bag. lol
and to ALL THE MEN on here that are complaining about being asked a question and then giving a response that supposedly doesn’t make sense….here’s the real issue:
women want to know why? the reason you give is not the truth. the truth is men sleep around not become of some natural gene they’ve been given. we all have the urge to have sex because of our nature. men sleep around because they are whores,not by nature but by choice. just own up to it, it’s a choice not a reflex.
@WILT C SPOT
oh please cry me a river. first of all we’re human being so please stop using animals as an example for us, we’ve come a long way. science was not created to justify promiscuous behavior. nature plays only a portion, nurture is the rest. do not act as if being promiscuous is something men can’t help.
men long ago slept around to produce children. these days men are not sleeping around to produce children…hahah! they do it for the act. and if according to you this is all due to science. mean slept around but also competed for women. women supposedly looked for one strong male. to find one she would have to go through many. if men were built to spread their sperm then women were built to accept sperm from the strongest suitor. does this mean women were meant to sleep around before they find the right male? (long pause) yeah didn’t think so.
sleeping with three different women in three days is disgusting by the way. live in your own fantasy (keyword fantasy) but once a girl who really likes you finds that out that won’t fly…and if it does it’s cuz she has slept around as well which serves you right.
@joesh wow, you sound bitter. every action we make can be put down to our genes and heritage.
Aaaand, let’s not forget the counter-argument. “Biologically” it was beneficial for women to sleep with a lot of men. Why? Resources. The more men she sleeps with, the more resources she gains for herself and her offspring. And the men wouldn’t know for a very long time whether she were carrying his child or someone else’s. So why kill a child who is potentially yours? Also, women have multiple friggen’ orgasms. Most men don’t last long enough to help her carry out one. So why not have a bunch of men to guarantee you get yours? Oh, and I love the misconceptions that women can’t have sex while they’re pregnant. Actually, a lot of women get hornier when they’re pregnant. Having sex during pregnancy does not hurt the baby unless you have a medically delicate pregnancy. Speaking of reproduction… women don’t advertise they’re fertile like other animals. E.g. their butts don’t turn blue, their pheromones are not as detectable as other species. So the only way you guarantee to get the woman pregnant is to have sex with her all the time – meaning, either sticking with one woman, or her doing it with men all the time to ensure a pregnancy. See how small-minded it sounds when it comes from the other side? Bottom line: excuses are excuses. Neither men nor women have more license to sleep around than the other side. There are also several arguments for why humans benefit for being monogamous: one of which being that women are more vulnerable to predators when they’re pregnant and human children need a lot of care. It behooves the mother and father to stick together to protect the child and teach the child everything s/he needs to know to survive. Oh? And the evolutionary biology arguments SUCK, for the simple reason that we reason, we choose, we empathize. The people we sleep with are people, not just warm bodies.
Here’s a good question: after Adam and Eve bit the apple, did Adam run off and say “I’ll be back after I get all my urges to fuck around out of my system!”??
@Secret…how is that a good question?