Promises and Pacifiers: The Not Quite An Engagement Ring February 24, 2010

 

Is it worth your soul?

Just after Valentine’s Day as I was on my way to work I was listening to the Steve Harvey morning show.  Since it was the day after Valentine’s Day the show was taking calls and finding out what people got and if what they got was good enough for them to put out.  As they show was getting really good, a woman called in and said her man bought her a ring.

*crickets*

Now you would think if a woman got an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day she’d still be in bed with the lucky gentlemen at 7:20 the following morning, but as this lady went on to explain this was not just a regular ring.  Apparently, this man gave her a ring that wasn’t a promise ring and wasn’t an engagement ring.  Now, I am sitting in the car completely enthralled by this conversation… I was kinda wondering why she was taking this foolishness. 

I’m sure someone out there is wondering what I could be mean that and here’s what I’m trying to say:  I been with you enough time for you to spend nice money buying me a ring but it can’t be an engagement ring?  So essentially what he just did was give her a pacifier.  She’s a hungry baby and he doesn’t have time to fully fix her a bottle so he just figures that this will tide her over until he can put some water in a bottle (the diamond necklace for her birthday) and now she’ll likely never get that Tiffany solitaire.

This all goes back to the whole thing of you stand for what you tolerate.  To me, this woman is tolerating pure foolishness and is allowing this man to complete disrespect her and her feelings.  How can you sit there on national radio and admit that you don’t so much find anything wrong with this man buying you a damn cocktail ring under the guise he’s just not ready yet?

Now that I’m done blowing off steam I wanna know what everyone thinks about this…Is this a new trend among men?  Are women going to just start receiving rings left, right and center just to pacify us and make us stay around while you continue to just do whatever you wanna do?  Ladies, is this something we’re going to just sit down and accept?  I mean diamonds are nice and all… but isn’t self-respect and HIS respect more important?

I Choose You: What Makes Love Work February 9, 2010

I’m a firm believer in taking the advice of people who have what you want.

The best quote I’ve recently heard came from First Lady Michelle Obama. In her Christmas interview with Oprah she stated that you have to find someone you actually like. She gave the example of arguments with the President… She said, “I still like like him when we fight”. I had an “Aha!” moment because I always thought you had to love the person & like is irrelevant.

Mr. Obama stated that he liked his wife at all times & the fact that she had her own opinions and even as President he knows how to defer to her.

I took something from that. I’ve always said that I wanted someone I could fight with & still love the person. But I realized that I often don’t like them and that’s not good.
That’s my “Aha!” relationship advice that I’ve taken note of…what’s yours and who said it? I bet ol’ Ink’s got something for me…
I’m listening