I got this idea on my way to bed last night (blame it on the martinis)…. This is my first blog. I hope I made it good for you!
Call me old school, but I want to be married before I have children. I dated this guy, we ended February 2008… There was a couple of things we couldn’t see eye to eye on, precisely (1) his need to involve me in a threesome (I even authorized him to go find somebody else to do it with to get it out of his system!) and (2) his need for me to make a baby (no marriage). Let’s focus on #2.
This man wanted to purposefully create a child BEFORE we got married. I’ve always planned to be married at 28 (NOT gonna reach it!), enjoy life with my husband and have children around 30. When I asked him about us getting married first, his response, “Just in case something ever happened to me, wouldn’t you want a way to remember me?” WTF? This makes no sense. If I need a memory, I’ll look at a picture.
I refuse to plan to be a baby mama. Let’s face it: It’s so easy for men to walk away from a child. Most of the time, the woman is left to raise it alone, while the man can opt to send only monetary support or none at all. I want my child to be raised in a stable, loving family, with both parents present.
Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of single women doing damn good jobs raising their kids, but why should they have to? They all say that if they could go back, things would be done differently.
I have a friend who was so in love with this guy, they dated a very short time. She called me two weeks ago and told me she was in love, and they were going to start making a baby. I asked her to wait on marriage and she insisted that she knew that he loved her and they would marry someday. A week ago, she called me and told me it was over and she couldn’t take it anymore; he is controlling and verbally abusive….. AND now she might be pregnant. Although he is insisting on an abortion, this is not in her heart, since the child was created in love (no matter how it ended). This is one helluva situation to bring an innocent child into.
Why is it so easy for men to forgo marriage for the whole “baby mama/ baby daddy” titles? What makes us as women throw caution to the wind and roll with this?
What say you?