Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

“Making a list, checking it twice….” October 23, 2008

Filed under: Dating — Sunny @ 6:08 am

Humble inspired this post from our discussion yesterday on, The Comeback Girl, where we yapped about making a list of your Wants and Don’t Wants in a mate, in one of our well known “off topics.”

I was intrigued to find that men also make lists and actually plan what they want.  Heck, I thought all men needed was someone who cooked, cleaned, screwed like a rabbit, and kept her mouth shut during football.

Although I have a mental list, it might behoove me to start writing these things down…. Here’s what I have so far:

Wants  (in no particular order)

  1. Stable, verifiable, taxable employment
  2. Nice teeth
  3. Sense of Humor (I love to laugh!)
  4. Baptist and striving to improve relationship with God  (EVERYONE can improve!)
  5. Active in church (pew sitting is not an activity.)
  6. Handsome
  7. Sense of style (Please throw away the tall socks.)
  8. Diverse interests
  9. Intelligent
  10. Honesty
  11. Comfortable with emotions (Just one of the things I picked up from an ex. )

 Don’t Wants

  1. Gold teeth
  2. Children  (say I’m selfish, but I want to be first)
  3. Nasty Disposition
  4. Selfishness
  5. Inability to follow directions
  6. Unwillingness to follow directions
  7. Chauvinistic
  8. CONSTANT Negativity (we all have bad days but it CANNOT rain on you all the time!)

A few of the items on my Don’t Wants are negotiable, for instance, the children…. Depending on the man, I can accept a child, but I cannot accept kids from Dari’on the Deadbeat or Simeon the Serial Daddy. 

My list is far from complete, but like Donnell Jones,  “I don’t wanna booooore you with this…..”

Anywho, what’s on your list?  What are you willing to negotiate on?

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35 Responses to ““Making a list, checking it twice….””

  1. thecomebackgirl Says:

    I’m afraid to make don’t want lists…to me they show up quicker than the wants. I don’t know why but it does.

  2. Jaclynn Says:

    I don’t really have don’t wants either. I just pray for wants and over time I have learned that we’re going to have to check these lists twice! Every single time (since I learned of the list) that I’ve asked for something I’ve gotten the wrong thing. 😦 So of course my lists are more detailed!

  3. Cuzzo Says:

    “Baptist and striving to improve relationship with God (EVERYONE can improve!) ”

    For real though Nicki? I’m non-denom Christian and there are tons of great men that are striving to be better christians and have a greater relationship at my church.

  4. nickisunshine Says:

    Hey Cuzzo! The only reason why I specified that was so that we could go to church together and even further down the line, for the kids… I really don’t want them to have to choose on whose service they are going to.

  5. thecomebackgirl Says:

    ok let me do another more succinct list LOL:

    1. Most think most if not all of my jokes are funny. He gotta be at least midly insane and real stupid like me LOL.

    2. I also don’t do depressed men well. I need a happy man. I know its not realistic to be happy 100% of the time. But his 75% happy and my 90% Happy makes up really dam#n muthafykin happy LOL. Happy people live longer, they are able to ward off common flu’s..stuff like that. and best of all they out earn the rest of the population.

    3. Must love dogs (im getting one soon).

    4. Must tolerate some of my more interesting family tree…which is more like payton place meets, The L Word, meets The Jeffersons, meets Good Times, meets Dallas, meets Sisters and Brothers, meets The Fockers…

    5. Open to metaphysics, alternative and complimentary medicine part of this is what I will marry my profession with so he gotta be down at least half way.

    6. Yeah Im big on integrity too. when you have it ..it touches every part of your life.

    7. oh yeah and se#x..lost of it

    8. somebody really sexy too. in a subtle way. I wanna think about you when im at work. and long to …(neva mind i still roll with yall celibate @zzes.)

  6. Cuzzo Says:

    @Nicki

    😦 I’d hate for you to pass up a great guy cuz ya’ll might not go to the same church in the beginning. One of my uncles grew up Methodist and his wife of like a million years, lol (over 30 I think) is seventh-day adventist. they are an awesome couple – two kids (together) one remained seventh-day (and active) and the other well…he believes in jesus 😉

    I mean, kids are going to grow up and choose for themselves eventually anyway – and I think it’s more likely that the kids will go to church with mommy. I also think if you are together long enough before getting married he may be swayed to your church anyway – or you to his.

  7. nickisunshine Says:

    “Must love dogs (im getting one soon”

    That is a movie!

    @Cuzzo: Just thinking about my family… my momma and daddy, who don’t go to church together and we never did as a family, makes me want it sooo badly.

    I understand what you are saying, but I’m patient and waiting on HIM. I truly believe that GOD is gonna send me who he wants me to be with (including religious basis). I feel pretty strongly that HE won’t send me a Muslim b/c we are not even on the same path.

    But of course this is my list, not GOD’s list… he’s up there crackin up laughing right now.

    I def want someone who’s on my wavelength with beliefs. Jesus is the son of GOD and it is only through HIM that we are saved…..

  8. Cuzzo Says:

    @Nicki
    “I def want someone who’s on my wavelength with beliefs. Jesus is the son of GOD and it is only through HIM that we are saved”

    let the chuch say yaymen.

    I might be going to hell cuz I def have a muslim/5-percent jump-off. He just so damn sexy! lol

  9. nickisunshine Says:

    Cuzz! LOL. You said jump-off. I’m cracking up.. now I can’t lie, Muslims are sexy… I look, but we won’t work together.

  10. Cuzzo Says:

    @Nicki
    I know it can’t work with him. And the negro is confrusing as hell…one day he’s calling me his girl (and not in the bedroom), the next he’s got amnesia.

    As far as religion (in which I am still slowly and painfully growing – u know the walk), I don’t try to change ppl and I dont like when ppl try to change my view like they are the way, the truth, and the light. That’s the main reason I can’t be with JO cuz he’s like that. I think ppl can change – I’ve know muslims to become Christians and vice versa. I attribute it to people just being real. You be the best Christian you can be and your light will shine on others, they will gravitate towards you and want that same light. halle and luyer.

  11. nickisunshine Says:

    “You be the best Christian you can be and your light will shine on others, they will gravitate towards you and want that same light. halle and luyer.”

    And let the chuuuuch say Amen.You are speaking a word girl.

    Know what? I try not to get into religious debates with people…. I am not going to down anyone’s religion. What works for you is for you. hell, if you debate, that person won’t even be listening to what you say anyway, they’ll be too busy trying to discredit it.

    My ex best friend was a J-Dub (Jehovah Witness) and we worked just fine together BUT we did have our debates initally… we just stopped bringing it up. I was cool with my faith and she was good with hers (well, until she got disfellowshipped.)

  12. jac427 Says:

    STOP!

    I feel left out….

    I am shutting down the comments 11 comments is too many for me to read.

    Ok, continue commenting.

  13. nickisunshine Says:

    Jac you are going to hell! Use that college education. Get to reading!

  14. Cuzzo Says:

    Dont Wants:

    Closed-minded indivduals (you can lump negative and depressed with this one)
    Selfish
    Disrespectful to anyone
    NO sense of fashion
    Egotistical
    Liars (just lie about everything for no d@mn reason)

  15. Humble_One Says:

    @Cuzzo
    “NO sense of fashion”

    So I don’t have a chance with my versace shirt and cross color jeans?

  16. nickisunshine Says:

    LOL @ Humble. Hell no.

    Unless you will let me change ya.

  17. Cuzzo Says:

    @Humble
    hell to the naw…but I know you’re playing (right? lol)

  18. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “I am shutting down the comments 11 comments is too many for me to read.”

    no that heffa didn’t…lol..one blog nazi is enough really…don’t let me have to block your ip for that statement.

  19. nickisunshine Says:

    @Cuzzo: If he is not playin, I shall be forced to put him out of his misery . LOL

    Did comeback say blog nazi????

  20. jac427 Says:

    lol don’t shoot humble

    comeback i was kidding…i am not shutting down a damned thing besides nicki would put it right back up

  21. Nicki Sunshine Says:

    I would. I am addicted to blogs. “I’ll take A life for 100 sir.”

  22. Cuzzo Says:

    @nicki
    “blog nazi”
    yes, remember when i called someone on SBM that the other day cuz she was talking about how we only post when it’s time to rant and talk about ourselves

  23. jac427 Says:

    Nicki-NOT a life…this is so much better.

    Cuzzo-she’s not welcome here.

  24. Humble_One Says:

    @Cuzzo & Nicki – No I don’t dress like that. lol.

    @Cuzzo
    “yes, remember when i called someone on SBM that the other day cuz she was talking about how we only post when it’s time to rant and talk about ourselves”

    She seems to show up a lot since we left. Maybe she wanted a format to talk about herself?

  25. Cuzzo Says:

    @humble
    I know you don’t. I don’t wanna say that I have you quite pegged but I don’t think you would’ve even worn that when they were in style 🙂 you should take jac up on the style post…even if u don’t dress like most dudes I’m sure it’s still admirable and non-tacky.

    re: blog nazi – yea, she does, doesn’t she. hmmmm I bet SBM knows her and she was giving him a hard about all our comments. d@mn communist society over there. viva la revolution!

    @Jac
    you know who I’m talking about right, lol. she gets on my nerves. ack!

  26. Humble_One Says:

    @Cuzzo
    “I know you don’t. I don’t wanna say that I have you quite pegged but I don’t think you would’ve even worn that when they were in style ”

    You are right I didn’t wear that. Thats kind of scary. How would you know that?

    @Jac
    “she’s not welcome here.”

    It’s like that?

  27. Cuzzo Says:

    @Humble
    “How would you know that?”
    I figure you’re more about classic than gaudy.

  28. thecomebackgirl Says:

    damn + did yall break a commenting record over here today?

    lets go out for drinks…i mean virtual celery sticks. lol

  29. Jac Says:

    Yea Hum, it’s like that. No negativity in that degree like that.

    Hum, I think you’re taste works just fine. You don’t have to look like everyone else to be right.

    Thanks Comeback…we’re working on it 😉

  30. […] The Single Sister’s who Speak and The Comeback Girl both are making a big push for making lists of the qualities they want in a […]

  31. Nicki Sunshine Says:

    “She seems to show up a lot since we left. Maybe she wanted a format to talk about herself?”

    And I agree with all of yaw. LOL

  32. QB Says:

    i was a bit busy yesterday so I missed this but Nicki you really make me smile that your #1 dont want is gold teeth. but aint that the truth?

  33. […] I know across some other sites (here and here) this is the “hot thing” and 10 page lists from women including height, p*nis […]

  34. Britt Says:

    Nice teeth! I deviated from that rule one time … never again.

  35. […] conversation with one of my girls – who had 42 must-haves on her list – and reading this and this, got me thinking I ought to give a list a try. But since a list of what I want in a man […]


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