Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Like A Boy… November 9, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 11:59 pm

ciara-like-a-boy-on-the-set-2Ciara \”Like A Boy\”

Don’t get me wrong, I love the sexiness of my walk, the dip in my spine, the fullness of my lips, but I can’t help but think of how much easier life are for men. “If I were a boy…” I’ve said this quite a few times.

Both Ciara and Beyonce have songs regarding an easier life for men (Ciara’s just happens to be my favorite), so I know I’m not alone in my thinking. Here’s why I perceive life is better for men:

Sex is just sex. Men can have sex and leave it at that. I have sex, wake up next to you, and am daydreaming about “Is he the one?” (LOL).

More dating possibilities. Think about it, when you enter a party or a club, there are always more women than men.

Putting emotions in a box. Men are pretty much stone faced. When something is bothering them, they can hide it like no other! I can maintain composure to a point, but eventually that stuff spills out and I lose it.

Comfort of clothing. 3 ½” stilettos, tights, dress vs. Timberlands, jeans, and t -shirt; need I say more?

Ladies: What do you think? Do you agree? Any additional points to add to my list?

Guys: What do you think? Do you feel that you have it easier? Any disagreements?

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26 Responses to “Like A Boy…”

  1. jac427 Says:

    Nicki: Great points. I think men have it way easier than we do because they don’t have to worry about any of the things that we do. I honestly wish they knew how many hours we spend in one day trying to figure things out…you know does this look right or would he like my hair like this, etc. where they just shower, spray cologne and peace out…

    Also they have no problem being emotionally unattached where we have problems with having a JO. They might have 6 or 7 of them. I really think the different mentality boils down to physiological differences…as in for them everything is external, where women have to let them inside of us…it’s just not as black and white for us as it is for (most) of them.

  2. “as in for them everything is external, where women have to let them inside of us…it’s just not as black and white for us as it is for (most) of them.”

    This is exactly what I keep trying to explain to this dude I used to allow to just use me for sex… although we turned a piss poor situation (with me allowing him to call me over at 2 am knowing I had to work) into a beautiful friendship, he’s trying to come back in… He thinks it’ll make our friendship STRONGER… what a load of crap that is…. but he’s not feeling me… it’s never just sex.

  3. Anitra Says:

    “He thinks it’ll make our friendship STRONGER”

    *blank stare*

    I wish we had the luxury of separating sex from relationships at times. Trust me I have tried a time or two and always failed lol.

  4. ““He thinks it’ll make our friendship STRONGER”

    *blank stare*”

    Girl, if I could blank stare him on the phone, I WOULD. LMAO. I just tell him to cut the crap.

  5. thecomebackgirl Says:

    I agree like a boy can’t be done..I’ll also add that some men get just as caught up early on but can fake the funk. I like being the woman. I don’t think you can se#x like a man. Maybe date like one. But not se@x like one. Why would a woman want to? all her parts are on the inside she is wired to connect and feel deeply for him when they have se@x.

  6. J. McFly Says:

    First time commenting on the site. To talk about your article, all men can’t easily separate sex from emotion. Some can but some women can too for that matter. I think sex is highly emotional and can’t just go and have a one night stand. The dating possibilities, well I have to agree with that one, it’s true. Clothing, you need to find a more socially conscious man that knows when to wear what. If you have heals on and I have timbs, there is a problem.

  7. “Clothing, you need to find a more socially conscious man that knows when to wear what. If you have heals on and I have timbs, there is a problem.”

    @J. McFly: Amen to my stylish brotha over here. Thanks for commenting. It’s about time you showed us some love!!!!

    @Comeback:
    “Maybe date like one. But not se@x like one. Why would a woman want to?”

    I tried this.. I called it “getting back” at men… what I quickly learned is I wasn’t getting back at anyone, by me “treating them like prostitutes,” they were winning. [my experiment only lasted with one guy… and he was a truly nice guy. I hurt him but I was angry.]

  8. Eb Says:

    I agree… we have evolved to be able to date like them… maybe not take sex so seriously and can actually have a solid jump off situation without having any feelings develop… I have had one of those for 4 years… but even with that… we are smarter to now where we date like them but even with that we dont think like them… and that’s where things get messy.

  9. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “we are smarter to now where we date like them but even with that we dont think like them… and that’s where things get messy.

    @ eb i totally agree with this.

  10. “like them but even with that we dont think like them… and that’s where things get messy”

    I think you ladies have a point. 😉

  11. jac427 Says:

    Wow…

    J:Welcome and you are right if I’m wearing heels don’t you have some nice J Murphys or something

    I see the women are feeling this, but I will say the following:

    In my younger years (heh, heh, heh) I was able to do that….

    *puts on vest with the S on the chest *

  12. Britt Says:

    I am a woman and membership has it’s privileges. Can I sex like a man? I have never tried nor do I have the desire too. However, I am happy to throw on my heels while men have to worry about asking women out, paying for dates, etc.

    Also, when a man gets married and starts a family he is responsible for the mental, spiritual and financial well-being of his family. That is some heavy stuff right there!!!

    There are pros and cons to both genders, but since being a woman is all that I know, I am cool in my Choos, lol.

  13. Peyso Says:

    “More dating possibilities. Think about it, when you enter a party or a club, there are always more women than men.”

    I disagree, if this was true there would be no use for the term “sausage fest”

  14. Peyso, I need you to point me in the directions of the Sausage fests b/c I’ve never seen one!!!!

    @Britt: “Also, when a man gets married and starts a family he is responsible for the mental, spiritual and financial well-being of his family. That is some heavy stuff right there!!!”

    I think this is true too…. BUT it seems like more people are deviating from this thinking.

  15. cuzzo Says:

    People are people. Some men can carry “female (emotional) characteristics” and some women can carry “male characteristics”. But, they are socially characterized ways of behaving.

    As far as the clothing – men’s clothes are way more expensive and they have less options to distinguish them from the crowd. Women can pretty much get sexy in no name stuff from head to toe while men have to be dressed down to the nines with an armani pinstriped suit and gucci shoes. We can wear no name jean and our bodies look like pla-kow! while men have to get stuff tailored and wear good materials and what not
    Being sexy isn’t easy (or comfortable)…for men or women.

  16. teenamarie Says:

    NOPE…wouldnt wanna be a boi a day never in my lyfe!!! i love all this greatness that is TMV!!! (off point:) all my bfffs are guys and they’ll be the first to tell you, “teena act just like a nigga!!” (on point:)I was fortunately blessed with the ability to love em and leave them where the fuck they stand…so im GUCCI on that emotional shit!!! i did however have a minor set back with that last relationship…but im GUCCI again!!

    and clothes!!! girl stop!!! wear what makes u comfortable!!! lawd knows i do…i will hop out de truck in my 4.5 inch aldo heels on monday and on tuesday rock some good ole new balances…

    plus lyfe aint all that easy for boys…what if you were a boi with a little dick???!?!!!!?!?!!!! see i so love being a chic!!!

  17. jac427 Says:

    All I caught was sausage fest….

    Peyso: WTF?

    Be back laterz…

  18. “what if you were a boi with a little dick???!?”

    LMAO Teena… see then you better make sure your other talent is ON POINT. I dated one of these once.

  19. Junior Says:

    I think its 2008 and most of these things are no longer the case if you ask me. I know so many people with “arrangements” where “their time together is their time together, and their time apart is their time apart…” Heck, I think some girls know how to play the game better than we do, because they know what we’re going after already, that most of the time we have one track minds.

    Our emotions spill out from time to time as well, I just think they manifest in anger. I mean from the male standpoint, as a child we are bred to hold things end. You slam your finger in the door, you get hit with “suck it up”. I think though, with time, and a caring woman’s touch that we can eventually get it together and be more receptive, but we have to know that you all have our backs, otherwise we feel like we are being “got” in our vulnerable situation.

    As for comfort clothing, you all expect us to take you out, buy you drinks, wine and dine, etc. As far as I’m concerned, you can look good while we’re tricking…unless you got it…but i’m in law school…lawd knows I ain’t got it right now.

  20. teenamarie Says:

    Nicki…even if dude mouth game is on point…i still needs me a good ole nice sized penis to get deep…u kno go long…cuz a tongue can only do so much!!!

    but i dont wanna talk about sex being im so not gettn any…dammit

  21. “but i’m in law school…lawd knows I ain’t got it right now.”

    That’s alright Honey… you’ll have it soon enough. 😉

    Teena: “but i dont wanna talk about sex being im so not gettn any”

    Girl, you and me both. Ahhh, excuse me while I get back to fantasies. LOL

  22. jac427 Says:

    Teena:Baby you a fool…a straight fool.

    Jr: I think you are right men are inclined after a woman loves them into it

  23. Teacia Says:

    I would first like to apologize for the ignorance you are about to witness but I couldn’t help it.

    Yall I am so tired of the comments and blog topics about me with there being an absence of accountability. I have moved on with life but he can’t seem to move on with his and his constant attempts at a low blow has gotten the best of me and i have in turn written my own blog post.

    Enjoy:

    http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=371255148&blogID=447839796

  24. teenamarie Says:

    My sweet sweet Dee, for if it werent for you, i wouldnt kno of any of these blogspots…so i will forever be indebted to you for making my work day go by like lightening!!!

    now with that being said: U GOT IN HIS ASS!!! im tickled, tickled pink to be exact and even tho i dont kno detail by detail about that whole lil man boob situation…he should really just go….ummmm…DIE…(u kno thats my favorite thing to wish on folks!!)

    and ur venting is not igorance…ur fuccn fed up and trust me…i kno how that feels!!!

  25. QB Says:

    “Comfort of clothing. 3 ½” stilettos, tights, dress vs. Timberlands, jeans, and t -shirt; need I say more?”

    i am here to tell you ladies you do not HAVE to wear heals to be sexy… i broke my ankle when i was in high school and cant wear heals….

  26. Shelia Says:

    As a lot of the commenters stated – we are wired differently. You can date like a man but can’t sex like one. Of course there are always exceptions. That’s why someone usually gets hurt in a “booty” call situation–someone catches feelings (usually the woman).


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