Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Ask Away! November 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 12:01 am

This is something I am reposting from my old blog:

I was having a discussion today with one of the best men I know. I randomly told him that I feel that black women in this generation are not as bad off as we think. In fact, we are not as scarred as we think. We have been one of the most privileged group of all time. For those of us who aren’t we have taken that to shape us into better women.

Today’s young black woman gets angry about lack of child support, men being dogs, etc. Yet, we are not realizing that we are strong enough to handle all of these things on our own. We are strong women whose mothers and grandmothers paved the way for us. Those women understood what it was like to have to walk in the back door, be stay at home moms and make it work off of $100 monthly if that. We really don’t have it so bad, but if there is a problem we swear up and down that it’s the black man’s fault. And then, we will see one that we think is a good one we will damned near walk around the building because we know he’s attractive but we don’t wanna ask him out.

LADIES! You can walk right up to a man, introduce yourself and ask for his number. It’s 2008. I think the men would appreciate it they have to deal with facing rejection far more than we ever have. Think about it, all you have to do is look half decent and you will get holla’ed at no matter what.
Think about it…you might find the man of your dreams this way.

What do you think?  Should a woman approach a man or are we not that advanced?

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33 Responses to “Ask Away!”

  1. thecomebackgirl Says:

    LADIES! You can walk right up to a man, introduce yourself and ask for his number. It’s 2008.

    i’ll be dayumed..i know one thing for certain..it won’t be coming out of my mouth LOL. for real. lol. i don’t care how advanced the world becomes.

  2. Anitra Says:

    LMAO @ COMEBACK I knew she wouldn’t approve this message lol.

    I don’t think we should go as far as asking for phone numbers n such, I do think we can be a little more forward. That point was proven when I went out with a white girl. You don’t need to be up all in guys faces but you can at least show more interest in the man you deem fit to talk to, it allows for a little more control and keeps the wack dudes you really DONT want talking to you away.

  3. No More Heroes Says:

    Why not? What difference does it make who does the approaching as long as the connection was made. If you want something, go for it.

  4. thecomebackgirl Says:

    no mo..because there is still a natural order of thangs…Ivebeen doing my own “research” and I finding that all these women that are approaching these men are NOT getting wife’d. They are getting trial’d..you know like the little bar of soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion etc..you buy for airport travel ONLY.

    these women end up in the “hotel of romance” not the little “victorian house at the end of the cul de sac” happily ever after.

  5. No More Heroes Says:

    But women who let men do the approaching arent always getting wife’d either, so…

    If a man plays you to the side, its because you were a toy to him, whether you approached him or vice versa.

    Some women complain about not being able to find a good man, but wont approach one if she saw one. Thats like hoping to win a million dollars but you never play the lottery.

  6. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “but wont approach one if she saw one. Thats like hoping to win a million dollars but you never play the lottery.

    I’ll approach to the day is long…but it won’t be with my mouth. hence my part of my post tomorrow.

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “hence my part of my post tomorrow.

    hence part of my post tomorrow.

  8. jac427 Says:

    Well…I have to say I look at this from both points. If a man is reversing the role and showing his interest in other ways I definitely think you should give him the time of day damnit. However, I do think men should know the average woman does indeed want to be approached.

    It is after all that dance and sometimes you have to draw the man in just a little more than normal that’s all I’m saying.

  9. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “If a man is reversing the role and showing his interest in other ways I definitely think you should give him the time of day damnit”

    now this is a message i can endorse LOL…not all of his social “i like you cues” are intially verbal either. But I think as a man he should make the first VERBAL step. The mating dance requires TWO people’s participation, I agree. But it should be led by the guy.

  10. jac427 Says:

    Yes, Comeback…he should lead, we should follow, I know…I know…but come on can’t a woman do something?

  11. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “but come on can’t a woman do something?

    Yes Jac in fact she can and often does “catch his eye” if you know what i mean. But it needs to be subtle. I do NOT advocate a woman handing a man her phone number out the gate (without him asking) and without him asserting some verbal level of interest that trumps her’s and causes him to assume his “leadership” role.

  12. jac427 Says:

    I can grant that. Although…sometimes I think men will do certain things to get you to say…”ok here’s my number give me a call sometime” I say this only because if you are going to give a man your number give it and peace out or he’s going to kinda feel like he got this on lock…

    You must always know how long to stay and when to go….

  13. Junior Says:

    Yes women can come up to guys and ask for their number and not be played in the process. I’m a good dude regardless, and you coming up to me for a change just means that I don’t have to sit there staring half the night trying to figure out whether you are staring in my direction because you think I look good or at the clock behind me because you are “rets to go”. Either way unless you come up to me saying “I’ll suck you d*ck”, a good guy is going to treat you like a lady regardless of who came up to who first.

    No one is trying to make this an issue of role reversal, but everyone is talking about the opposite sex being equal so go ahead and reach out and touch someone.

  14. jac427 Says:

    “Either way unless you come up to me saying “I’ll suck you d*ck”, a good guy is going to treat you like a lady regardless of who came up to who first.”

    Well now that we have that out of the way, we know what not to say.

  15. cuzzo Says:

    If you want that man…go get him.

    “A closed mouth, don’t get fed”

  16. jac427 Says:

    If you want that man…go get him.

    “A closed mouth, don’t get fed”

    And let the church say Amen.

  17. Humble One Says:

    “If you want that man…go get him.”

    Basically. I don’t know why a woman would limit herself to who approaches her. A lot of times the dudes that chase you are the ones you need to run from.

  18. 80's Baby Says:

    And see my friends always tell me closed mouths don’t get fed because I am not the type who approaches a man. I am just aggressive when it comes to a man…..

    I do know that 2 non aggressive people will not work… LOL

  19. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “I do know that 2 non aggressive people will not work… LOL”

    LOL…yeah i know this too..but i dont like the whole non-aggressive thing in a grown @zz man that is SO NOT CUTE. DAYUM. !!! LOL

  20. 80's Baby Says:

    What I posted earlier should say.. I am just not aggressive when it comes to a man…..

  21. Junior Says:

    @ comeback, no one is being non-aggressive, I think the point was more so that it should be ok for women to approach men. Everyone has been assuming that the guy you decide to approach was even checking for you in particular. There is a good chance that he was just out having a good time and not looking for something to get to know that night. Believe it or not, us guys go out from time to time just wanting to have a few drinks and a good time without the hassle of dealing with the opposite sex.

    You might be blocking your blessing by not going up to him and ensure that you in fact have his attention.

  22. cuzzo Says:

    lawd…now we talkin about the same d@mn things today. How did this happen?

  23. jac427 Says:

    You might be blocking your blessing by not going up to him and ensure that you in fact have his attention.

    Co-sign.

  24. Britt Says:

    If he is interested enough, he’ll approach. I need an Alpha male and an Alpha male goes after what he wants.

  25. Junior Says:

    Of course you do Britt, and I’m sure that’s why you’ll end up with a gorilla.

  26. cuzzo Says:

    “and I’m sure that’s why you’ll end up with a gorilla.”

    ha! and ooh ooh ooh ahh ahh ahh

  27. Britt Says:

    Please don’t encourage him, LOL.

  28. cuzzo Says:

    I’m not an ape fan

  29. Bam Says:

    I don’t approach men for their numbers.
    I will be friendly and strike up a conversation.
    If he can’t boss up and ask to talk to me later, I’m good on ever talking to him again.

    Hell, they ain’t stop making em, when they made him.

    B.

  30. cuzzo Says:

    @Bam

    we not just talking about numbers. imagine a dude just coming to u…hey can i get ure number? no intro or nuttin. we’re talking about the initial approach.

    “I will be friendly and strike up a conversation.”

    so thanks for the co-signage. no one wants to be approached with the old holla holla holla.

  31. Shelia Says:

    Nicki, how was your trip?

    I am so old school when it comes to this. I think the man should make the first move. I know I sound like a broken record here and on the other blog posts you’ve read on this subject. The woman should make herself approachable—whether it’s by flirting, speaking, smiling or what have you—but in the end–I feel the man should be the pursuer.

  32. Junior Says:

    Cuzzo, we’re going to get along quite nicely!

  33. cuzzo Says:

    @Junior

    Awesome. I thought I’d get tomatoes thrown at me for that statement.


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