Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

A Royal Mistake (Princess Syndrome) December 31, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 9:34 am

So a few new things today…first a post from HollyGoLightly (our newest contributer to SSSO) and second Hummy’s very first guest post.  HIT IT!

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Killa B aka Humble One on “Princess Syndrome”:

First thing I want to make clear is that if a woman thinks she is a queen or princess I see no problem with that. The issue I have is with women that think they are queens or princesses and demand that all men treat them that way. This is called princess syndrome. If you expect a man to respect you and not treat you as a subordinate but as a equal partner you do not have princess syndrome. If you think you “deserve” or are entitled to being treated special by every man because you exist, you may have princess syndrome. You have princess syndrome if you meet any of the following criteria:

1. If you believe that your role in the relationship is to look good and have sex with your man.

2. If you feel that you should not be responsible for anything out of your comfort zone in a relationship

3. If everything is never your fault.

4. If you whine.

5. If you need constant attention.

6. If you feel that your very presence in a man’’s life should be enough for him.

7. If you believe that it is a man’’s responsibility to feed and clothe you.

What say you? Do you have princess syndrome? Know someone who does? Have you overcome it? Men, have you dealt with any of these women? If so, how long before you realized she had to go?

Now before any of you tell me that I need more people…don’t worry…I already have them. See their comments below.

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“The princess type woman, one that wants to be constantly swept off her feet and made to feel that life is about ponies and rainbows and cutesy type things. Some (real) men think it is emasculating to deal with a princess. The ones that want to be constantly spoiled and lauded upon for her looks and supposed perfection.

Men detest this type of woman. The few reasons as to why some deal with them is because they like the looks they get while with this “arm candy” and they want to keep up the image. Some stick with them because they have the dream of being with (aka banging) “the model” or “the prom queen”. Others may be with them just because they feel that they don’t appeal to other women.” – SBMinNoVa

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“If a woman is looking for a man to clothe/feed them etc., they need to ask first and foremost, do they provide a wifely quality to deserve that type of treatment? Many of these type of women think marriage is all about them. While the husband is out providing for the family, is she taking care of home? The kids? The house? Or is she looking for a maid and a nanny to go along with the husband who provides the finances. What does she actually believe her role is in the marriage, and it has to be more than lazy layabout receiving the rewards of marrying into the financial elite.

The second part is if we cut through the colloquialisms, this woman can reasonable be described as a gold-digger, although that’s not necessarily an insult. There is no inherent difference between dating for money or dating for looks. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man to take care of them, but as long as she realizes that if she’s out playing the “dating for money” game, a man with money has likely ran through a litany of women just like her and can recognize her type from a mile away. Play the game, but don’t be surprised if the game plays you.

Most importantly, remember, no man is looking for a princess, he is looking for a queen. A princess lives care-free and plays all day, a queen realizes she has responsibilities. As long as the woman realizes that she has to be a wife in the traditional role, I don’t see anything wrong with finding a man who will be the sole wage-earner and bread-winner.” – Hugh Jazz

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I haven’t truly experienced the Princess Mentality. If I sense that pre-dating, it’s a reason to rule a chick out. I can figure it out pretty quickly beyond the first date. If I’m consistently taking out the plastic or makin the jokes and she doesn’t even attempt to do anything, it’s a wrap. That type of ish is really a turn off. That’s like fellatin’ a dude and then he just turns over and goes to sleep after the first time you do it. You’d prolly be like “what the eff is this?!” Same applies when a dude is makin gestures and the favors aren’t bein’ returned and an effort isn’t bein’ made.” Slim Jackson

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I don’t think my thoughts on this matter are very complex. If two people enter into such relationship, there needs to be an understanding of both parties goals and how wants play into that. There should be an understanding that if the man takes on that role then there is a similar one that the woman has to play. That being said you’ll need to understand my financial limits relative to my ability to cater to you, that there is a mental and emotional toll with having to manage my life and most of yours, that I have wants that need to be fulfilled and sometimes those may include time away from you. And if someone cannot understand that then we do not need to pursue a relationship.” Kamakula

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They should all be destroyed” – NoMoreHeroes

 

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Women Be Shoppin…Women Be Shoppin December 29, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — cuzzo @ 11:32 pm

It’s no mystery, most women love to shop. I am a woman that likes a sale, deal, bargain, and discount.

My fave online store: http://www.overstock.com

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for sales! Catch them all my lovelies.

Where are you shopping for the deals?

Bath and Bodyworks always has a crazy sale until about mid February when all the seasonal stuff is gone. Victoria’s Secret also began their semi-annual sale. January is the time when a lot of stores will be giving the deepest discount and turning over their overstock to stores like Daffy’s, T.J. Maxx, and Marshall’s. Just imagine – an extra 70% off stores that already discount. I’ve seen advertisements for 80% off retail at Burlington Coat Factory.

What were some of your bargain buys so far? If you haven’t bought yet or are waiting for the mega-slashing after January please revisit this post and dish.

******************************Update*****************************

More Links:

http://www.walletpop.com – I came across this on aol. It’s very informational about products, sales, and all that consumerism (is this a word?)

http://www.shopathome.com – I tell everyone and their momma to use this portal when making online purchases. They give you cash back. Sometimes it’s only 3 and 4 percent but it adds up.

http://www.bluefly.com – like an upscale overstock. They have a ton of designer labels for less.

And like we’ve mentioned:

www.ebay.com and www.amazon.com

eBay has a ton of other catagories like half.com – I used this to buy my books in college.

 

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! December 28, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 11:30 pm

I am reposting this one per request from my good ole’ buddy, Junior…. Enjoy and share, peoples. 

 

Let it be known that Kelis is my girl (I don’t know her personally, but if I did, she’d be my homegirl).  I love her originality and wild “who gives a d@mn” attitude.  I wish I could be more like that. 

 

One of her first songs was “Caught Out There,” where she screams “I hate u so much right now!”

 

Nicki Sunshine aka “Sunny” aka “Leggy McDaniels” is normally a very mild mannered chick, peaceful and serene, if you will.  But there was ONE time where I went off and probably could have been certifiable.

 

One of my girls called me and told me this ninja I was dealing with had a baby on the way with some chick from Atlanta!    He wasn’t my boyfriend; at that time, I was tolerable with accepting less than I deserved.   I was so pissed because we weren’t using protection (Hey, I’m transparent here.  GOD has delivered me several times when I wasn’t even looking out from myself!)  This micky-ficky was puttin my life at risk (and yes, I now realize that I was too!)

 

I was ready to murk this guy (although I’d never had a fight in my life.  Still haven’t. LOL), but I jumped in my car and sped over to his MAMA’S house.  I called him and he wouldn’t come outside, he was scared to death; I guess he could hear the madness in my voice.  I sat out there, waited for an hour and he never would come outside.  I finally drove off because I don’t disrespect people’s mamas.

 

I saw this ninja in the mall a few months later and ran after his punk a$$.  Do you know he ran from me? 

 

He did this for the next five years, would see me and bolt in the other direction, even when I was no longer running. It wasn’t until I saw him in the club and grabbed him and told him to stop acting like a punk, that he quit.  LOL.

 

And I’m not even hard, ya’ll; far from a gangsta chick.  But I guess it’s true, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 

Has there ever been a time where you totally wiled out and did some stuff you never knew you could have?

 

Remembering Miss Eartha Kitt December 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — cuzzo @ 11:35 pm

Here’s an article from the Washington Post about a writer’s encounter with the temptress Miss Eartha Kitt: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/25/AR2008122500870.html

Sex symbol and all around fierce woman. She died on Christmas day at 81 years old.

She will be missed. Let’s let out a purrrrrr for herrrrrr. Ladies, always remember to roll your tongue.

 

Merry Christmas From Single Sisters December 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 8:39 pm

Merry Christmas.  Enjoy this time with your families.  We’ll be back on December 29, 2008 with something fresh and new!!!!

-Little Saint Nic, Holly Jolly Christmas, O Holy Cuzzo, and  Merry Christmas Baby

 

Live YOUR Life December 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 12:01 am
Here’s a guest post from fellow blogger and VSB commenter Kamakula:
So, I was winding down after a day of packing and driving and decided to check my email and find I’ve been asked to author a guest post on another blog. Honestly, I was a bit surprised. But once that wore off, I was happy to be asked. Hopefully, my head doesn’t swell too large but then again, a big head isn’t always a bad thing is it? Just need to keep it under control and keep from exploding. . .
Ahem. So, I did some poking around before responding to the email to get a feel for this blog. I certainly like blogs like this one because of the subject matter the cover. Perhaps it’s because I’m still single (see our generous hostess for details, I believe there may be a finders fee involved) and I’m looking for any advantage I can get from the collective wisdom of others. Or perhaps (and I will deny I actually wrote this part when in the company of other men), I like the drama that either prompts discussions here or elsewhere (e.g. VSB).
Anyway, I say all this because my own blog is more of a recording of . . . for lack of a better term right now . . . emotional milestones and as such is broader in converage. So, I needed to figure out. . .what would I write about? I’m not sure this is quite the forum for thermodynamics, though for those who are interested, I can happily explain, followed by a demonstration, why matter tends to go from a solid rigid form to a more dispersed chaotic one or how best to recover from hypothermia in this cold season (remove damp clothing, consume warm sweet liquids, and heat transfer from a warmer body, preferably skin to skin).
Anyway, listening to Pastor Glass this Sunday, it occurred to me (don’t ask how or why these things happen, I’ve given up trying to figure it out myself) that we (both men and women) deliberately go after what we either can’t have or don’t really want and I started to wonder why? Kamakula, this has been talked about before; how will this post affect the financial crisis? I’m glad you asked.
We want someone who we find attractive, who appreciates us for who we are, who has goals that we’re willing to support and work towards, who is on a path to making those things happen, who is intelligent, and who treats us with respect. However, the people we actually try to attract are the ones we see everyone else around us getting. That playboy that seems to be dating everyone. That almost perfect 10 who we see everywhere turning everyone down. We know we’re special, surely we can get  her or him. We say we want stability, but we’re attracted to danger. We want someone respectful but somehow believe we can change someone who never respected us in the first place.
But nice guys don’t get the woman every player is buying drinks and VIP tables to attract. Women who like to walk through art galleries and follow up discussion over candlelit dinner with wine don’t end up in the passenger seat of the guy who may or may not be a dope dealer because he has not obvious means of employment yet drives $60k cars. So, we change ourselves a bit. We play the games to attract excitement, attention, danger. And ironically enough, we still end up with each other.
The nice guy pretending to be the bad boy gets the good girl pretending to be the neighborhood hottie. Then we get older, realize this game doesn’t work for us, but can no longer trust each other because we’ve both played our roles so long. I say hold on to your ideals. We deeply want people to accept us for who we are. Happiness can’t be found when someone falls for the person we’re just pretending to be. At that point, there are only two ways to go. Either we must reveal that we’ve been lying to the one who things they love us, or we must deal with the growing irritation that we know we’re not really loved. There’s no point in building your self confidence only to further destroy it.
I analyze my decisions via this prism, for whom am I doing this? Is it for my parents, to fit in with friends, to conform to society? Or do I do this for me? As many mistakes I may have made in the past, my decisions are my own and make me who I am today. I can always look back and know for better or worse, I did the right thing. I challenge everyone to do this. And perhaps, we’ll start to find that the person with up we sup is that whom we seek.

-Kamakula

 

A Sunday Kinda Love… December 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 12:01 am

Ok…so it’s true….I’m kinda an old soul.  Don’t ask me why, but I really love me some Etta.

Yes, I want a Sunday kinda love.  Amongst all the kinds out there this one is most appealing.  It carries that relaxed easiness.  It’s best described as a walk in the French Quarter late Sunday as the sun sets on the Mississippi.  *le sigh*

Let me break down what this is…cause I’m thinking we all need a Sunday lover…

1. A Love That’s On the Square-He is Mr. Dependable…Johnny on the spot…hitting that spot whenever you need him to do so.  He’s not concerned with what his boys think.  So what if he has to not go to the club on Saturday ’cause he’s got church and brunch with you and the folks…he loves you and he’s gonna do what he needs to do.

2. Someone to Show You The Way-Now, we’re always talking about how we need a man to lead.  I can lead.  It’s most definitely not a problem…but I need a man with vision, direction, purpose.  Someone who’s not afraid to say “we’re definitely headed to the right”.  If he can say it strong and with conviction then I can most definitely make sure it happens.

3. Someone to keep you warm-It’s December.  This one should be self-explanatory.  Everyone needs that late night human contact…a brush of the hand, brushing the hair out of your face and making out under the mistletoe 😉

So this kinda follows the idea of list that we’ve been talking about on blogs for about the past six or so months.  So Etta’s given her Sunday love requirements.  What makes you all swoon…?  Get romantic, get pragmatic…just let me know what you need a man to do.  Whether it’s breakfast in bed, paying the bills or just listening to your day…I’m ever so curious loves!