Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

You Are the Prototype December 2, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 11:59 pm

“I hope that you’re the one

If not, you are the prototype . . .

I think I’m in looooooovvvve, again.”

                             —- “Prototype” Andre 300

 

I dated this guy a while back who was amazing!  Tall, fine, chocolate, educated, a pharmaceutical salesmen (not  like Pookie the Dopeman), gorgeous home, good father, smelled good, etc.  This list can go on and on ya’ll.  He never pressured me for s3x, we would just kiss (my favorite thing to do!) and he loved to cuddle up with me while he watched football.  I can’t even say how long we dated, I was Swwaanngin’, like Mint Condition.  If he wasn’t the one, he was the prototype.

 

He told me he’d been engaged at one time, but would never divulge the details….  [Bullsh!t detector [worksite: Comeback] beeps slow and steady here]

 

Then one day, this man disappeared.  I don’t know what happened. He sent me a text two months later and said he had something to tell me.  He called and told me that he’d gotten back with his fiancé.  I didn’t flip out.  Cool, I kept it moving. A couple of weeks later, “they were no longer together.”  [Bullsh!t detector starts beeping faster here and I ignored it]  

 

I ended up at his house after asking for a massage because I was stressed.  I’d been grilled by a three woman panel for an interview at my job for a better position.  When I walked in, I noticed there was a picture of the chick in the living room.  When I asked him why it was up if they were no longer together, he said, “it’s the only picture I have of myself.”  [Bullsh!t detector goes off like a smoke alarm, but I put on ear plugs!] (stooooppppid!) 

 

I walked back to the bedroom, where he’d lit a candle and had jazz music playing.  I removed my clothes and he gave me a towel to cover up if I wasn’t comfortable.  I declined the towel, told him I was cool with nakedness (ain’t I smooth? LOL).

 

He commenced to giving me the most professional, yet sensual massage I’d ever received.  I’m serious, none of that funny rubbing close enough in between your thighs where the skin gets baby bottom soft, causing your throat to tighten and pulse to quicken.  He didn’t try me.  Ha!  I jumped on him.  (hell, I was already naked??!)  He gave me the nicest slow love I’d ever had, while we panted things I won’t reprint into each other’s ears. 

 

The next day, I was sore as hell… I don’t know if it was from the massage or from his slow grind. 

 

About a month later, one of my coworkers was to be in her best friend’s wedding.  She showed me pics of the bride and her groom.  Imagine my shock when it was my tall, dark, and chocolate masseuse.  I was so lady; I smiled and said what a beautiful couple they were and walked away. 

 

Note to self:  DON’T IGNORE THE DETECTOR!  

 

Okay, that was my lesson learned… what about you?  Got any to share with the class?

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24 Responses to “You Are the Prototype”

  1. jac427 Says:

    I don’t even know if I need to go there. All I’ll say is July. For those who don’t know…let’s just say my bullsh*t detector didn’t go off because he was hiding something serious and riding durty like.

  2. Oh Share Jac….. keep it anon.

  3. Did the Detector not go off, or did you ignore it (like me!)? Did you have any funny feelings?

  4. jac427 Says:

    No it didn’t go off in the beginning. It started going off later but quickly stopped beeping THEN one day it went off for real and that’s when the ish hit the fan.

  5. He’s got the morse codes beeps going off, huh???? Girl, listen to those too. They MATTER!

  6. jac427 Says:

    He erased them too 😦 Was a Marine…suppressed it.

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    im made andre got a platnum wig on..he is so …umm…eccletic ..yeah thats it.

    so Sunny..at his house you didn;t feel like a woman’s presence? no woman signs AT ALL?

    i think i turned off some of my detector with my last guy..i mean i knew stuff i just excused away..strange mother father relationships, lack of respect for women…yeah i shot the shyt out that thing LOL…

    all because i thought there were times I was changing his mind..notgonna EVER beabletodothis LOL

  8. Tea Says:

    Wooooow!! I’ve ignored a detector or three here and there…nothing as exciting as your story.

  9. ayo…i tried to hold back on this next comment, but I can’t mwahahahaha

    **autotune voice**

    YOU’VE OFFICIALLY BEEN CHOPPED AND SCREWED

    **autotune voice**

    lolol.

  10. LMAO. Whyso, don’t MAKE me come after you!!!!!

    @Comeback: No girl, nothing. I know she had her own house but there was NO essence of her, but that picture!

    @Tea: Girl, I kind find it funny now, but back then I was mad enough to cut someone (on the inside)

    But guys, I still see this man. He’s a slick one… I know he knows I know because at one time my coworker went around taking pics of us. I’m sure he had to see them.

    I joined a bigger church the beginning of this year and he supposedly went there. I sit two from the front row… all of a sudden, he appears beside me (BY HIMSELF!)

    I see him out (when I do go out) and just this past Thanksgiving holiday, he was trying to buy me drinks… I declined though. LOL

  11. Tea Says:

    *shaking my head* NAGGAS!!

  12. Exactly… I don’t believe this fool had on a ring this last time. He took my hand and I didn’t notice one.

    His spell has been broken though. (but he’s still fine as hell!)

  13. jac427 Says:

    I would’ve drank the dranks.

    Whyso-HILARIOUS!

  14. LOL @ Jac. I was too busy trying to be independent woman/ I don’t need-you-for-sh**t. LOL

    WHERE YO’ WIFE AT (is what I wanted to say?) but I’m so lady.

    Seriously, I never see her with him.

  15. jac427 Says:

    i’d’ve took a sip and said that’ll be sixty bucks.

  16. Anitra Says:

    yall fooling today, I used to turn mine off, cuz damn he was fine! just like Nicki’s description

  17. Anitra Says:

    Ok let me share my detector story

    I was/had been seeing my “friend” off and on for a good year, nothing ever serious we would just call eachother when we got the urge but i always liked him. One day I told him I would stop by before my aunts graduation around 1ish. I was an our away at the time in the morning. So i wake up feeling good, feeling great driving down he highway jamming to some sounds.

    When I got into town early around 9ish, i figure i would do a little shopping and relax. After an hour or so into town i called to tell him i was on my way but i got no answer, I was texing, calling ect then I got a text back that said “almost up” wtf ?? how to u get almost up?? (warning right). So i call again and he answers asking me where i was and by that time I was down the street, he was acting like he couldn’t understand what i was saying on the phone (warning 2) so i hung up and kept driving to his house, i pull up and he is walking some woman to her car from the apartment. My little heart was crushed, and I wanted to bust his windows for this.

    I played cool as if it was nothing. I still haven’t asked him who that woman was (As if i don’t know.) something in me wanted to believe that was a sister…

  18. “something in me wanted to believe that was a sister…”

    dunnn, dunnn, duhhhhhnnnn, NOOOO mik. He was smashing her. You know it deep down.

    LMAO at this jerk saying he was almost up.

  19. Britt Says:

    Wow!!! My detector stays going off but its hard for me to determine if its BS or if I am just too hard on men. Great post!

  20. Thanks Ms. Britt!

    ” am just too hard on men”

    This used to be me which is why some fools have now gotten past the radar… 😉

  21. Junior Says:

    So what do you do in regards to guys who have radar blocker lol. Besides, @ nicki, it sounds as though you wouldn’t have cared much anyway, you wanted some lovin’!!! @ “jumped on him”, and all the bucked-nakedness.

  22. Junior, I haven’t met any with radar blocker yet (they simply aren’t smooth enough. LOL) I always get a feeling but stupid me, ignores it or tries to deal. Nothing is better than woman’s intution, I tellya!

    I would’ve been all for him, he was a great candidate, but that ninja was already spiritually bound to someone else. But yes, I hopped on him. LOL. He remembers it, and would do it again if he has the chance, I see it in his eyes everytime I see him.

  23. Junior Says:

    Lol @ Nicki, not mad at it! We can all see the “about us”, HIS BAD! haha!

  24. **winks**** at Junior. 😉 LOL.


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