Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

So(u)le Mate – It’s about finding the right fit December 10, 2008

Filed under: Fashion,Single Sisters On... — cuzzo @ 12:01 am

Just as I can own dozens of pairs or shoes and love each one of them…I can do this with a man. Ha ha. I don’t believe in soul mates. I believe people get together and make it work. It’s not hard to like people (until they show you the true assholes that they are – and sometimes in a sick twisted way that turns you on). Hell, it’s not even hard to love people. I can’t say that I’ve met a man that is just like me or completes me but, I’m still young. The only person I know that is just like me (and not even entirely) is my best friend. She knows what I mean when I say shut the hell up and doesn’t get sensitive on me cuz she knows that’s just how I am. We know what the other is thinking and say stuff before the other person says it. (this is soundin so gay but i’on care) But, this all stems from knowing each other and being around each other for a long @ss time (I’ll count from when I was 8  and say 17 years). I’ll meet dudes now and if I’m nice enough (i.e. not myself) we are hitting it off. And if we are around each other long enough, we may begin acting alike and understanding each other more. (aside: Does this mean that friendship should be first? hmmm) What is this whole notion of soulmate-ism about anyway? When do you know someone is your soulmate (if you believe in that mumbo jumbo) vs ya’ll just been around each other a long @ss time? We all want to be loved and that can be worked on.

Now to buy a pair of shoes and love on them for a few days…

New Love?

New Love?

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73 Responses to “So(u)le Mate – It’s about finding the right fit”

  1. jac427 Says:

    Hmmm…

    Mom’s always said that I was her sole mate. I think so too. But then, I also think that you can have multiple sole mates too. I have one around now…who hears my emotions so well they can shatter him…and I do the same for him.

    Man…it’s real serious.

  2. First and foremost, I want those freakin shoes…..

    I do believe there is a one, especially made for me. I believe that God is designing him and I’ll know it when I see it. I believe that all these other men I’ve dated have been for trials and learning purposes only, so that I can get it right whenever he comes. 😉

  3. thecomebackgirl Says:

    First of all…I HAVE A SIMILIAR shoe lol…but the little peep toe is not there. Its cute. I digress.

    Jolie needs to come over here today to drop her science about soulmates…i think they do exist. But God gives us first right of refusal. I don’t think most people could handle that intensity…or could even articulate exactly what it is. The idea is mentally distracting.

    so ive just become happy with the Mr. “He All Right”‘s shat…

  4. Jada Says:

    I do believe that there is one out there meant for me specifically sent from heaven and vice versa. The challenge in that is will we recognize each other when we cross paths? Man’s free will is still in play…but I pray God’s will will always supercede that whether I want it to or not.

    Now I also believe in kindred spirits. I have a male and female friend I call my twins b/c just as Cuzzo was describing we think just alike, can finish each other’s sentences even thoughts. And this was before we even really got to know each other. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called my homeboy off a feeling and the first words out of his mouth are…you ALWAYS know when to call. And my homegirl whose thoughts I already know before she opens her mouth. In a sense they are my soul mates b/c we’re so in tune with each other.

  5. jac427 Says:

    “I don’t think most people could handle that intensity…or could even articulate exactly what it is.”

    Comeback: You are definitely right about that. I am finding out that having a soul mate means you can hear someone out there’s emotions so loud…I mean it can almost be deafening. Right now, I am working on controlling that…because it can bounce and be mentally draining. I know this, it’s tough…but that element exist.

  6. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Now I also believe in kindred spirits. I have a male and female friend I call my twins b/c just as Cuzzo was describing we think just alike, can finish each other’s sentences even thoughts. And this was before we even really got to know each other”

    @ Jada..i like the way you put this. And this is dynomite when it comes to friends, even family, hell i got a fish that i think is my “twin flame”…but when it comes to the opposite se#x?? i dunno..i do believe but i think its just ..very complicated. i think at this point i need a little err..levity.lol

    @ Jac “Now I also believe in kindred spirits. I have a male and female friend I call my twins b/c just as Cuzzo was describing we think just alike, can finish each other’s sentences even thoughts. And this was before we even really got to know each other”

    what you goin thru..i know i have a blog rule about no details ..but in code…what you goin thru chile LOL.

  7. jac427 Says:

    Comeback:You copied the same thing. Which part are you referencing to me?

  8. cuzzo Says:

    @Jada
    “The challenge in that is will we recognize each other when we cross paths?”

    although my stance on soul mates is that it’s a whole lotta hooey…i gotta agree with this.

    @Jac
    comeback may mean this part: “I have one around now…who hears my emotions so well they can shatter him…and I do the same for him.

    Man…it’s real serious.”

  9. @Jada: I believe in kindred spirits too.. I have a lot of those. 😉

  10. jac427 Says:

    Thanks Cuz…

    Oh ok…well…I’ll say this..I have had some real ups and downs this past couple of weeks and I don’t say everything…well right now…he’s like I have to get a break…your emotions are screaming @ me even when you say nothing…I don’t blame him…sh!t he deserves it…make sense CBG?

  11. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Right now, I am working on controlling that…because it can bounce and be mentally draining. I know this, it’s tough…but that element exist.

    @ Jac..that was for you…what you goin thru??

  12. I don’t believe in the Soul Mate rubbish at all. If there is just one person out there … the chances statistically that you would meet them and connect are dizingly bad (yeah … that nerd in me).

    People are relatively to get along with. I guess one reason I have never gotten on the whole “whoa is me … I’m gonna be single forever” mentality is that while meeting people is hard … connecting and liking them is easy.

    There are too many people and too little variance for there to be this one mystical person. How do so many people have more than one great love in their life?

  13. Peyso Says:

    I think ppl have more than one soulmate, like a soul club

  14. jac427 Says:

    @ Jac..that was for you…what you goin thru??

    Well looking a better paying job…though I am positive it has stressed my body…I’ve had all kinds of health problems. And my SM (not mama) feels it down to the core. And it can push him away because it’s like the Sirens screaming in his damned ear. Strangely, it’s the same way with me but I am able to hold it together more, but I think that’s because I am a woman and women can deal with things like that a bit better.

  15. jac427 Says:

    I think ppl have more than one soulmate, like a soul club

    thank you peyso for clarifying for your homie SBM

  16. cuzzo Says:

    @SBM
    “There are too many people and too little variance for there to be this one mystical person.”

    This can run into what Jada was saying about not recognizing the person if we ever cross paths. And you earlier point about the stats.

    You’re gonna have to like talk to every dang person you meet (the girl in the supermarket, the man on the bus, the lady in the 5th row at the conference)…and who has time for that? Plus you have to be atrracted to them first. Sheesh and Oy vey!

    Which brings about the question – will the soul mate or every person you connect with gonna be from the good old USA? It’s easy to have things in common with people from this country because we are exposed to the same things (even if you watch BBC). We are one big culture with other lil cultures sprinkled within. What about those couples that meet in other countries – like men that are in the army and marry some Korean lady? Do they connect deeply? I don’t think so.

  17. cuzzo Says:

    “And my SM (not mama) feels it down to the core”
    “I think ppl have more than one soulmate, like a soul club”

    …and this is why I need an individual’s description of soul mate verus a good @ss friend or kindred spirit

  18. cuzzo Says:

    @Jac

    “Well looking a better paying job”

    I can’t tell you how to feel but (I will anyway, lol) you should be grateful you have A job in a time when folks are getting laid off left and right. It can’t just be the job thing beating up your body. You put you’re resume out there and it’s really not in your control right now. You shouldn’t let things you can’t control get you down boo boo.

  19. I think the Soul mate thing is just something that is sweet to say at weddings or during a special moment with the SO. There are too many people in existance for me to thing there is one in particular that I have to find.

    @Cuzzo: I really feel you on the location thing also. Like I gotta pick the right city and county … GTFOH

  20. jac427 Says:

    I’m tryna process somethings…lol..that just happened

    Let me read.

  21. cuzzo Says:

    @SBM
    “Like I gotta pick the right city and county”

    yes, because you don’t like New Yorkers. 😦

    my dude might have to be from NY or have an NY state of mind. lol

  22. Jada Says:

    @Cuzzo: I really feel you on the location thing also. Like I gotta pick the right city and county … GTFOH

    @ SBM…yes but this is assuming that this is all up to you and the Most High doesn’t have a plan. If he can orchestrate the Heaven’s and Earth, don’t you think he can orchestrate the meeting b/t you and the woman HE intended for you? It’s what you do BEYOND the initial meeting that is up to you.

    But I know not everyone believes in God (not syaing u don’t).

  23. jac427 Says:

    Cuzzo-Oh ok…I don’t think it’s like that for real…I think sometimes your soul mates exist and you don’t meet them.

    And yeah…there’s more.

  24. @Jada: I believe in God … and while I do believe he has a plan … I do believe he allows us a great deal of freedom in our lives.

    Its weird to say … but I think he is worrying about bigger things than putting person A with said soulmate. I assume he feels like me … there is are enough people that there is someone for everyone. Also, the “marriage” model of the olden times and spoken of in the bible didn’t really have much if anything to do with soul mates.

  25. thecomebackgirl Says:

    Well i have a surprise annoucement i disagree with SBM

    ALOT…

    LOL

    anyway..there are soulmates..there are someone(S) designed for you..now whether or not you know how to process that info and what the fyck to do with it is entirely another story. Like I told Jada God gives us first right of refusal and you do come into contact with them. I believe that too..

    but free will is in full effect everyday all day..

    sometimes i wonder as God will do the play by play of my life …in heaven…how much stuff i really fycked up on my own without his help..i def had one when i was like 21..we were cut from the same cloth..it was weird too.

    but i treated him like shyt..it was kinda sad..and my karma was the 10 years after..i even apologized like 5 years ago LOL but sometimes you can unfyck up what you fycked up …so you just gotta do it better with the next right person..the next soulmate i guess. which in turn i agree with peyso..that we do get more than one.

  26. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “you can NOT unfyck “

  27. Jada Says:

    Its weird to say … but I think he is worrying about bigger things than putting person A with said soulmate. I assume he feels like me … there is are enough people that there is someone for everyone. Also, the “marriage” model of the olden times and spoken of in the bible didn’t really have much if anything to do with soul mates.

    Let me tell you something about GOD a lot of people do not understand. HE LOVES you to no end. Good bad and ugly. And he is CONCERNED with EVERY area of your life. EVERY area even down to decisions like where should I go to school, what job or field is best for me. But WE are too busy and self centered to invite him into our lives and seek his guidance for such things.

  28. thecomebackgirl Says:

    Jada PLEASE preach the sermon…i got my church dress on today.

  29. Preach Jada and Comeback… I agre with both of ya.

  30. @Comeback: But if you get more than one … doesn’t that go along with what I said? I thought the big thing with soulmates is that it is a kindred spirit … one person … made “for” you?

    OK … now I’m just confused.

  31. jac427 Says:

    CBG-Right! And it’s like sometimes you have one that you completely fyck over. I did that when I was 17…and it’s weird they dont’ come back because the love that person has can be so strong

  32. cuzzo Says:

    @Jada

    I believe in da Lawd too but how are we supposed to hear everything? is it that simple or that complicated? It’s like after you make a decision that turns out for the best – we think it’s us, but it’s really God. Or a decision that may seem bad but it’s really good in the end – it’s God too.
    Maybe we should give him credit for every decision we seem to be making ourselves?

    As an example, Barack’s mom, was his dad her soul mate? No, his @ss bounced. But as a result of her decisions beyond keeping the baby, beyond having him be raised by his grandparents, beyond the schools he choose, the life he lead (and I’m not tryna make Barack seem like the next coming of jesus but his story is well known enuf) – was that God?

    I think my point is that God is MAD DEEP. How will you know it’s his decision and not your’s?

  33. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “@Comeback: But if you get more than one … doesn’t that go along with what I said? I thought the big thing with soulmates is that it is a kindred spirit … one person … made “for” you?”

    i disagree with that..i understand that the textbook definition is one…but if that was the case ..i’d be @ssed out and I choose not to believe that LOL..

    so i gotta go with more than one..additionally a parent, a friend a pet could also be your soul mate..divinely ordained in a different way…note i do believe all parents and family are ordained for you by God…but sometimes i believe there is a once in a lifetime connection to relatives..am i making sense?? i just confused myself.

    LOL…

    can someon else take the steering wheel.

  34. jac427 Says:

    SBM:It doesn’t have to be one person…there can be alot of them. Because sometimes you are going to f over them and you do get other chances.

  35. cuzzo Says:

    “I think the Soul mate thing is just something that is sweet to say at weddings or during a special moment with the SO. ”

    I agree whole-heartedly with this….it’s just something ppl say. Our souls are in the essence of our beings. Our personilty is what ppl see and connect too. Cuz our bodies are flesh and wanna do fleshy things – maybe we only supposed to be with our SM’s when we die.

  36. “i got my church dress on today.”

    RRRRRRRRRRRROFL

    ” How will you know it’s his decision and not your’s?”

    You pray and you listen… ask that he gives you A CLEAR SIGN… my sunday school teacher gave me an example of the sign he got for his wife….. and he knew it.. and they are one of the best couples I know.

    Now I’m not saying it’s so easy to do.. I’ve made plen-T of mistakes thinking a guy was the one when he wasn’t BUT when I think back… my desires was what I was following.

  37. Jada Says:

    @ Cuzzo

    I think we as a human race fuck up A LOT! Which was the very reason Christ was sent to redeem us in the first place. God knew we would never be able to live up to the old testament law…but he loved us anyway. So much so that he sent his son to atone for our sins.

    EVERYBODY falls short of glory EVERYDAY. But our Heavenly Father is such that he can make a miracle out of the messes we’ve made. But a way to cut down on a lot of the mistakes we make is to invite him into our entire loves and listen. Is this an easy feat? NO! Will we still mess up sometimes? MOS DEF! But his voice isn’t as hard to hear as we may think. But most of us are so busy going about our business that we fail to stop and listen for HIM.

  38. cuzzo Says:

    @nicki
    “You pray and you listen… ask that he gives you A CLEAR SIGN… my sunday school teacher gave me an example of the sign he got for his wife….. and he knew it.. and they are one of the best couples I know.”

    Is it possible for me to believe in God and sh!t happens (totally rhetorical)? (and yes I know I’m going to hell for using Gawd and sh!t in the same sentence)

    I think ppl hear things and then adopt it as their truth. if you start tellin yourself (or your SO starts tellin you) God must have put us together, you’re gonna believe it. It could very well be a perfect relationship but who’s to say it couldn’t be perfect with someone else also (one of the someone else’s that may also be a SM/kindred spirit/good @ss friend)

    (btw I’m not getting any work done right now!)

  39. “Is it possible for me to believe in God and sh!t happens (totally rhetorical)? (and yes I know I’m going to hell for using Gawd and sh!t in the same sentence)

    I think ppl hear things and then adopt it as their truth. if you start tellin yourself (or your SO starts tellin you) God must have put us together, you’re gonna believe it. It could very well be a perfect relationship but who’s to say it couldn’t be perfect with someone else also (one of the someone else’s that may also be a SM/kindred spirit/good @ss friend)

    (btw I’m not getting any work done right now!)”

    LOL.. first of all, you and me both.. I got tons to do but am NOT doing it.

    “I think ppl hear things and then adopt it as their truth”
    I agree with this… and with this “God must have put us together, you’re gonna believe it. ” That’s why we can’t listen… my teacher David.. said he’d walked into church, you know when it was crowded and people were everywhere. He said it was like a light went off and he heard a voice “That’s going to be your wife.” He knew it and kept it inside.. .he never told her… he waited and dated her. God eventually revealed it to her.

    They were telling me about a story where this guy at our church had a similar event… he actually told the woman though… the woman CLOWNED HIM and he lost out…. see what I’m saying.

  40. Jolie Fatale Says:

    if commenting was our jobs we’d all be billionaires… everyone is in everyones treehouse.. lol

  41. Jada Says:

    I think ppl hear things and then adopt it as their truth. if you start tellin yourself (or your SO starts tellin you) God must have put us together, you’re gonna believe it.

    @ Cuzzo…you don’t believe everything (WO)MAN tells you! That right there is just like Comeback says…Pure Pixie Dust!
    If something or someone is for you GOD will let YOU know and he will send confirmation so that YOU will have no doubt.

  42. “if commenting was our jobs we’d all be billionaires… everyone is in everyones treehouse.. lol”

    You ain’t never lied… LOL. I’m addicted to you guys…

    (insert Ryan Leslie song here)

  43. cuzzo Says:

    @jada

    “Which was the very reason Christ was sent to redeem us in the first place. God knew we would never be able to live up to the old testament law…but he loved us anyway. So much so that he sent his son to atone for our sins.”

    this is gonna sound rude but…I know the story

    “But most of us are so busy going about our business that we fail to stop and listen for HIM.”

    this is the core of my question…how do you know it’s HIM and NOT YOU?

    You can be sinning or living a christly life (which NO ONE can do) and not know. Jesus did not have a girlfriend – he had 12 (?) homies. In the bible it sounds like God is whispering in ppls ears like there she is – the one for you. What is the “voice” like now?

  44. Jada Says:

    “That’s going to be your wife.” He knew it and kept it inside.. .he never told her… he waited and dated her. God eventually revealed it to her.

    They were telling me about a story where this guy at our church had a similar event… he actually told the woman though… the woman CLOWNED HIM and he lost out…. see what I’m saying.

    Exactly! If someone is for you he will reveal it to YOU and when the time is right HE will reveal it to the other person as well! Or Vice cersa.

    I’ve seen too many times when something was revealed and that person from there took it upon themselves to reveal to the other person and try to rush it beyond HIS plan and timing. The results were always disastrous.

  45. cuzzo Says:

    It’s gonna spawn a lotta what if’s scenarios so I’ll just simply say I don’t agree with the big “reveal” stuff.

  46. jac427 Says:

    “That’s going to be your wife.” He knew it and kept it inside.. .he never told her… he waited and dated her. God eventually revealed it to her.

    I know about this Jada. I have this feeling like I know, I just know…and it’s like yeah you’re the one. So I went with the whole Habakkuk thing. I wrote my vision on the tablet and it’s always around somewhere to read. Sometimes you have to wait it out and what’s why I feel so strongly about the PGF situation…sometimes you gotta wait.

  47. cuzzo Says:

    @Nicki

    based on your teacher’s story…we should not date anyone (ie be lonely) unless God give’s us the reveal first? And, will that person be at your church?

  48. I think it’s gonna be such a big knock down draggout sign that you can’t ignore it!

  49. Jada Says:

    What is the “voice” like now?

    This is prolly the most difficult part so I’mma do my best here. People hear GOD in many different ways. For instance say you’re doing something or pondering something and a specific scripture just pops in your head..he is talking to you.

    Sometimes it’s just a strong sense or knowing in your spirit.

    The other day I was preparing myself to go to bed when “I Love You Jade” just popped into my head. Why would I think that about myself…it was GOD (I’ve been questioning somethings going through a tough time, and needed to hear that.)

    Other people may read a passage and know it’s for them. You ever been to church and just knew the pastor had been following you the past week cause he was ALL up in your business? All GOD!

    But just remember that HE will confirm HIS words to you.

    I hope some of that makes sense. I’m terrible at explaining sometimes.

  50. cuzzo Says:

    @jac
    “Sometimes you have to wait it out and what’s why I feel so strongly about the PGF situation…sometimes you gotta wait.”

    so while you’re waiting and waiting and you’re both dating and dating…in the back of your mind he’s supposed to be the one for you? what if it’s never revealed to him? he marries someone else and you were just waiting letting other men slip by because he was supposed to be the one.

  51. Jada Says:

    @ Cuzzo….revelation is a hard pill to swallow sometimes so I understand your view and why it may be hard to believe.

  52. cuzzo Says:

    @jada
    “You ever been to church and just knew the pastor had been following you the past week cause he was ALL up in your business? All GOD!”

    yes that happened when I got saved. But, now I’m at some middle ground where everything is a question. we all been here in the christian walk…it’s all yellow brick road then you start slippin into the wicked witch territory.

  53. “People hear GOD in many different ways. For instance say you’re doing something or pondering something and a specific scripture just pops in your head..he is talking to you.

    Sometimes it’s just a strong sense or knowing in your spirit.”

    I second this.. I like to call it our “intuition.”

    For example, I was sitting her talking.. and was about to say something about someone.. my “inside voice,” said Don’t DO IT…
    I think that was the LAWD… he’s my conscious, whether I choose to follow it all the time or not.

  54. jac427 Says:

    You ever been to church and just knew the pastor had been following you the past week cause he was ALL up in your business? All GOD!

    Girl I sure have. Like whoa. Freakishly weird. He tells you what you need to hear!

    Cuz: If this person is your soul mate I don’t think it happens like that. And it’s not like you don’t have your roster, because there are others but you just know where your bread is buttered.

  55. Jada Says:

    @jada
    “You ever been to church and just knew the pastor had been following you the past week cause he was ALL up in your business? All GOD!”

    yes that happened when I got saved. But, now I’m at some middle ground where everything is a question. we all been here in the christian walk…it’s all yellow brick road then you start slippin into the wicked witch territory.

    @ Cuzzo….Hon I know EXACTLY how you feel. I’ve been floundering in my faith ever since my Dad passed away. My core beliefs are still intact it’s all the little things I’m questioning. But I’m hoping and praying to be back on solid ground. I think it will take some time though.

  56. “we all been here in the christian walk…it’s all yellow brick road then you start slippin into the wicked witch territory.”

    That’s me. I haven’t really slipped, but I know I’m not doing the Christian things I should be doing (read what I write on a daily basis!) but I’m human. There is no excuse but we are all works in progress.

  57. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “@ Cuzzo…you don’t believe everything (WO)MAN tells you! That right there is just like Comeback says…Pure Pixie Dust!
    If something or someone is for you GOD will let YOU know and he will send confirmation so that YOU will have no doubt.

    @ Jac..you wanna go on TBN together…LOL ..its like the hip 700 club (for those who heard some crickets).

  58. Jada Says:

    LOL @ Comeback….I think you meant me. And I got you! I love TBN but I been slipping on my viewing.

  59. cuzzo Says:

    I even question the way I came to be saved. The message the pastor was preaching. The messages that come from the church. I feel like it’s kinda like horoscopes. Everyone goes through the same tests, the same situations, so how hard is it to relate to what is being preached.

    In particular the message I received that day, he was talking about how he used to go to the clubs and come back home feeling empty…mind you I was at the club the night before. But, at my age…who hasn’t. I’m REALLY wavering, something serious.

  60. Yes I did…I was thinkin bout Jac cause i just tore up her tree house yaya membership

    but yeah Jada lets go on TBN. LOL

    “If something or someone is for you GOD will let YOU know and he will send confirmation so that YOU will have no doubt”

    this is truth.

  61. cuzzo Says:

    Who up in here is waiting on the big reveal?

    What’s the point of dating then? (i KNOW some of ya’ll are dating (mutli-tasking whatever u wanna call it) ppl right now)

  62. Jada Says:

    In particular the message I received that day, he was talking about how he used to go to the clubs and come back home feeling empty…mind you I was at the club the night before. But, at my age…who hasn’t. I’m REALLY wavering, something serious.

    But I’m sure you’ve been to church before and the message didn’t pertain to you at all. You listened but you weren’t MOVED by it. Seems that particular sermon that particular day really moved you. So it was meant for you, meant for you to be there…your divine appt. There are NO coiencidences in life…NONE!

    I got saved in the church PARKING LOT! Not even from the sermon the pasotr preached (affected me not a bit), but from a woman praying over me in the parking lot who was able to tap into GOD and tell me things about myself that there was NO WAY she could have known since that was only the second time I’d met her.

    Big Poppa works in mysterious ways.

    Don’t doubt that you heard GOD that day…for it was designed especially for you. But TRUST ME when I understand the questioning of other things pertaining to GOD.

  63. Jada Says:

    What’s the point of dating then? (i KNOW some of ya’ll are dating (mutli-tasking whatever u wanna call it) ppl right now)

    B/c you are still supposed to be affecting other people’s lives regardless and sometimes this will happen in relationships. But everyone has a different path to take. You never know whose mind you’re chaging about a belief or ideal.

  64. cuzzo Says:

    “You never know whose mind you’re chaging about a belief or ideal.”

    aight, I’ve said this and agree. But then it’s not dating. It’s a friendship.

  65. jac427 Says:

    Yes I did…I was thinkin bout Jac cause i just tore up her tree house yaya membership

    i thought that was you…

    OK…we gonna have to talk about this miss lady…there’s a reason there’s a reason

  66. I’m waiting on the big reveal…

    Dating aka multitasking to find him… dating should be fun.. if he’s the one, HE will reveal him to you..

    if not, it’s all fun.. no love lost.

    “In particular the message I received that day, he was talking about how he used to go to the clubs and come back home feeling empty…mind you I was at the club the night before. But, at my age…who hasn’t. I’m REALLY wavering, something serious”

    I really don’t think theres’ anything wrong with going out.. I go out, I’m Christian.

    I think there is a line.. theres’ going out.. and there is living that life.

  67. “So it was meant for you, meant for you to be there…your divine appt. There are NO coiencidences in life…NONE!”

    **blogrolls, bookmarks, visits Jada’s site and looks for her a book agent ***

  68. jac427 Says:

    I like Jada too Comeback…now give me my damned membership back.

  69. thecomebackgirl Says:

    you are reinstated..i thought i gave it back..wait let me stamp your forehead.

  70. Junior Says:

    I know i’m late, but dammit I have finals. However I wanted to throw in my two ¢. I agree with cuzzo, although I like the shoe analogy, I think people get the concept confused. I realize that in a perfect world, we would have one uber-compatible person who ruled out all others and left us in a whirlwind of love and bliss, however I don’t think that’s the case. Think about it, there are ~3.8 billion women and 2.6 billion men on this planet. Those numbers don’t even match up for people to have exact soul mates, not to mention whose to say that your actual 100% soulmate isn’t in China, or Instanbul, or some other place you are likely to ever go in your life? I do agree though that we find the person who works best for us, and we roll with them. I mean, sticking to the “shoe” thing, I’m sure all of the ladies on here have that one pair of shoes that fit you like no other. They aren’t likely the newest, and might not even be the prettiest anymore considering the potential wear and tear on them, but regardless of that, you still love them like no other. They fit you just right, you know just what goes with them without a second thought, and you def. aren’t going to get rid of them until the the proverbial “wheels” fall off.

    So with that said, I think that’s what the “perfect lover is”. it’s that person who is old faithful and may no longer be flashy or the hot new thing, but at the end of the day they are there for you in a variety of life’s situations and ultimately never let you down.

    That was Junior’s romantic moment.

    *I am Junior and I approve this message*

  71. jac427 Says:

    Thanks for the forehead.

    And Jr. you are right it is old faithful…that person who can pull you into the rapture so to speak…wait I’m getting sappy.

  72. Britt Says:

    I believe in the one. I think there is a man out there whose dirty drawers I will love. So much so that I can eat a mile or two of his ish and he will be willing to eat some of mine.

    IDK if this is a soul mate though. It’s the person that I decide to be with and stick it out. I truly believe that to make a relationship work all you need is two people who want to make it work. The instant one or both parties doesn’t want to, it’s over.

  73. Shelia Says:

    Call me romantic but I do think there is a such thing as a soul mate or at least a “Mr Right For Me.” Sometimes we get with people who we know are not good for us and then there are times we meet men and because we’re tired of being single, we settle. Don’t settle, but be realistic so that when the right one comes along, he won’t pass you by (or vice-versa).


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