Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Back in Time with Today’s Frame of Mind January 11, 2009

Filed under: Retro — Sunny @ 11:59 pm
Tags:

This is what the young Nic was listening to in high school.

Inspired by The Champ of one of my fav blog teams, I am writing this post.   I’ve sat and thought about all the things I’d do differently if I was able to go back in time, knowing some of the things I know now.   Here’s a few:

1.                  Dump James F.:  Granted, I now know that it wasn’t a real relationship in 6th grade,  and I don’t even remember how we even started “going together.”  But the day I let that orangutan with glasses dump me through a friend should NEVER have happened!  In my second chance, I’d beat him to it.

2.                  Dance (both literally and figuratively):   These lyrics are so me: 

I used to go out to parties
And stand around
‘Cause I was too nervous
To really get down
And my body yearned to be free
So I got up on the floor and found
Someone to choose me
No more standin’ along the side walls”

Marvin Gaye KNEW exactly what I was feeling!  It’s too bad that it took me over 25 years to finally get up and cut that rug.  Life is so much sweeter and more fun when u just let go!

3.                  Go to an HBCU:  I allowed the fear of the cost of these colleges keep me from going and I know I missed out BIG TIME; from parties to the fraternities/sororities to the overall camaraderie of the students.   

4.                  Be more confident/overcome shyness:  I was always painfully shy.  I still am to an extent, but back then, my shyness limited me.  I was always one of the smart kids, but I wasn’t okay with attention so I missed out on things like, running for class office or overall pushing myself to do more.  I just kinda coasted along with my brain.  I made good grades, but never pushed for scholarships or any other accolades.

What about you:  if you could go back in time and do some things over with today’s frame of mind, what would they be?

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49 Responses to “Back in Time with Today’s Frame of Mind”

  1. thecomebackgirl Says:

    I don’t know if its a regret, because I honestly am not sure if my life would have been THAT much better if I had of taken another track.

    but…

    i was heavily into screenwriting in the late 90s…SOOO much so i spent a lot of time in NYC and i was going to get an MFA at NYU..but i had some friends and family who told me it was time to grow up and make some money.

    so thats what i did.

    lol..but i knew that i would comeback to the creative arts, it was just a matter of time. I’ve figured out a way to do both-so i can eat. LOL

    so here i am LOL.

  2. Nic-Good question, good question

    -I’d’ve done way better in college…just focused a bit more
    -I’d’ve taken my relationships (all) more seriously so that I could learn more
    -I’d’ve eaten better and exercised more

    Comeback-I am glad you writing and eatin

  3. Junior Says:

    I guess everything I’m not made me everything I am.

    I probably wouldn’t have felt played so long with the girl I was with from high school through most of college. I knew she was no good for me, but I kept giving her chances to go right back out and end up doing something silly with some other dude, but I honestly didn’t have enough confidence in myself yet to just let it go.

    I’d also probably make more white friends. Even going to the University of Texas where there are white people galore, I never let myself get too particularly close out of fear they’d turn on me or something. But, now I see they are the ones with all the REAL “hookups”… le sigh.

  4. “i was heavily into screenwriting in the late 90s…SOOO much so i spent a lot of time in NYC and i was going to get an MFA at NYU..but i had some friends and family who told me it was time to grow up and make some money. ”

    That is amazing Comeback!!!! I’m glad u continuing writing anyhow.

    Jac: I’m with you on the eating more… My mama raised me up eating healthy, she was very strict on our diets.. when I got out on my own, I rebelled BIG TIME.

    Junior: Hey, I’m just now letting the white friends in also… one of my main homegirls is white (but does she count, bc most of her friends are black men?) but she knows ER’BODY and knows er’body for something u need.

    “I guess everything I’m not made me everything I am.” ’tis true, Mr. West.

  5. Britt Says:

    Interesting … hmmm … I would have probably considered another career path, lol. But it’s never too late and I am definitely considering it now!

  6. @Britt: What career path would that be, chica?

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “That is amazing Comeback!!!! I’m glad u continuing writing anyhow.”

    thanks mama cita..which is why i agree with Junior what junior stated, regarding everything he isn’t making him what he is..

    to me if everybody made that home run ALL the time..being able to look forward and fix, to assure no regret…that would make everyone’s path so dam@n boring.

    Can you imagine if John Grisham wasn’t a lawyer FIRST…or JK rowling hadn’t been homeless..i don’t think their work would have been the same. we are shaped by ALL of our experiences the pretty and the ugly. The flattering and the unflattering.

  8. I think I would have been more outgoing and participated in more clubs and stuff. Also, I think I would have rather had more of a journalism focus than just Media Production. I would have made more of an effort to break into a field that I actuallt went to school for.

  9. “that would make everyone’s path so dam@n boring.”

    That is true…. Variety is the spice of life (and Lawd KNOWS I get bored quick!)

    @Enchantment: Are you using any parts of your education in your current position?

  10. Nick It’s Jada. Guess I shoulda warned ya with the name change there.

    I can’t really say that I am Sunshine. I’m okay with what I’m doing FOR NOW. But I’d like to get more into the area of my major.

  11. LOL.. girl, I’m glad u tol me.. Cause your pic wasn’t showing up to let a sista know!!!!

    Honey chile it’s a blessing for you to be satisfied with your job! That makes coming to work so much better.

  12. thecomebackgirl Says:

    i just heeard the video…lord tariq and peter gun..that was the SHYT…im mad that that’s “retro”..so mad. LOL

  13. LMAO Comeback…. that is so retro! But to go even further back, I was gonna post Salt n Pepa or Big Daddy Kane, but that was my middle school years.

  14. Junior Says:

    @ Britt, I’m sure that other career path would likely be a resident of Magic City, or either professional trophy wife.

    Note to Britt, you can still obtain those objectives….”yes [you] can”!!! “si te puede”!

    @ comeback, i think you have a good point. “King of Torts” would likely be King of Trash. What year did this Peter Guns song come out, for some reason I feel like I was a freshmen or sophomore in high school

  15. Wikepedia says 1998… I do believe I was a senior then. 🙂

  16. Britt Says:

    @ Nikki – I am thinking something in media. I think the skills I have picked up in my current profession would lend themselves well to that.

    @ Junior – Si te puede kiss my ass!

  17. Britt Says:

    My bad, I mean Nicki!

  18. U are cool Britt.. don’t worry about it.

    “I think the skills I have picked up in my current profession would lend themselves well to that.”

    That is fabulous!!!

  19. Junior Says:

    @ Nicki, yes, I was a Sophomore…good lord where does time go…I’ll be 27 next monday wtf?! *Going pray for God to slow down time*

    @ Britt, media eh? Well West Coast Productions and Vivid entertainment are currently hiring.

  20. Junior Says:

    @ Britt, I’m sure the current skills you’ve picked up will stlll be applicable.

  21. 27, u lil young buck Junior. LOL.

    *slow down time for me to, wouldja?”

    “I’m sure the current skills you’ve picked up will stlll be applicable.”

    That sounds suggestive.. are u throwing a joke?

  22. Britt Says:

    And I think the skills you have picked up in life would lend themselves well to you kissing my a!!! Nice long smooch! LOL.

  23. Junior Says:

    @ Nicki, yes my comments towards my long time friend Britt aka Sweet Jones are very suggestive lol. I assure you though it is all in good fun. You do know what West Coast Productions are?

    and bless yo ‘heart chile @ calling me a young buck!! Just made my day.

  24. lol i just wrote about how I would do cawledge different…

    If I knew what I knew now, five years ago, I’d be so great, they’d have to assassinate me.

    **said with all humility.

  25. “I assure you though it is all in good fun. You do know what West Coast Productions are?

    and bless yo ‘heart chile @ calling me a young buck!! Just made my day.”

    I figured you two were pretty close…

    U have to school me on West Coast Productions.. I tend to stray away from anything on the west si-yede. LOL

    U said Bless your heart chile… That took me straight to gramma.

  26. REIGN Says:

    Late on the scene, but I would…

    – focus more in college and should’ve majored in IT instead of marketing, even with this MBA, should’ve thought more about my concentration.

    that’s the only big one…I’m shy but my confidence overrides it most of the time.

  27. Hey Reign!!!! Shyness is a biyotch… I am pretty slow to warm up…

    I talk a lot on here though. LOL

    Sometimes I wish I would’ve done something in IT too.

  28. “If I knew what I knew now, five years ago, I’d be so great, they’d have to assassinate me.”

    NEEEVAH this great whyso… Nevah.

  29. junior

    +5 on the WCP reference lol.

  30. cuzzo Says:

    I would have gone to FIT like I wanted to instead of hogwarts…and not let the slow thinking blk folks in my family tell me there’s no career in the fashion industry.

    I’m still gonna go though. I’m young and experienced.

    I would have just said no to that 5 percent fool I was dealing with.

  31. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “I would have gone to FIT like I wanted to instead of hogwarts”

    …i agree you can still do this..what is hogwarts???

    what about Parsons?

  32. “slow thinking blk folks in my family tell me there’s no career in the fashion industry.”

    Family can be a barrier… my lil bro is wanting to go to a school for music… and we’re trying to discourage him for the simple fact that he has NEVER done anything with music before. We just don’t want him to stack up a ton of loans for a “hobby.”

    So I can understand your situation with that Cuzzo.

  33. Jazz Says:

    I probably would not have gottten married. We both weren’t ready at the time and I wouldn’t be going through the ish that I’m going through now. But I was young so….you live you learn.

  34. Jazz how old were u when u got married?

  35. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Family can be a barrier… my lil bro is wanting to go to a school for music… and we’re trying to discourage him for the simple fact that he has NEVER done anything with music before. We just don’t want him to stack up a ton of loans for a “hobby.””

    i would tend to agree…like how do you NOT discourage a kid whose “not good” at a “hobby”..its a balance. Like finding things that children do well at and cultivating it as a child..

    but who says you can’t have many passions and talents some that you end of finding at 30..LOL..

  36. “i would tend to agree…like how do you NOT discourage a kid whose “not good” at a “hobby”..its a balance. Like finding things that children do well at and cultivating it as a child..”

    Exactly… my brother kinda reminds u of Denise though… (remember how she used to change her mind Easy?) LOL.

    I would have done something more with writing… it was always a favorite of mine but since it’s not “practical” or “easy,” I’m now in psychology…

  37. Junior Says:

    @ Nicki, dang…none of the guys you’ve dated has tried to pop in an infamously produced West Coast Production movie?! You’ve never heard of “booty talk 1 through 3823428394823492834”?

    Dying @ cuzzo. I often want to go to hogwarts too. Maybe I can zap some of these fools around me with a patronus or something. *Did I just let my inner nerd come out….* For CBG, hogwarts is the school of magic that has reached critical acclaim though the writings and subsequent movies of JK Rowlings Harry Potter series.

  38. cuzzo Says:

    “what is hogwarts???

    what about Parsons?”

    @CBG

    junior answered…hogwarts is the school in Harry Potter.

    Oh yes, parsons. I always forget about that one since FIT is more famous. I’ll see which one is cheaper.

  39. Ooohhh Junior. I never saw booty talk but I’ve def heard of it.

    “Dying @ cuzzo. I often want to go to hogwarts too. Maybe I can zap some of these fools around me with a patronus or something. *Did I just let my inner nerd come out….”

    Yep, the nerd came out.. I have never seen any of those movies before. 🙂

  40. J. McFly Says:

    @ Nicki, Let your inner nerd out, it’s ok we all have it in us sometimes. I know what you mean when you say missing out on a HBCU experience. I went to Rutgers which is diverse but I do feel like I missed out on some things.

    Don’t be shy, live life in HD.

  41. @J.McFly: My inner nerd is something special lemme tell ya… LOL… Believe me, it’s in there.

    I’m breaking out of my shy shell.. sometimes it takes a shot of Patron, but I do it. LOL

  42. Jazz Says:

    “Jazz how old were u when u got married?”

    24. Mostly got married because of pressure from fam (we were living together and had a child).

  43. @Jazz: Wow, u were pretty young. Has it turned you off from marriage at all?

  44. cuzzo Says:

    24 is not young to me to get married. You can be 24 and ready…this couple just happened to not be.

    Grammy and Grampy couldn’t be celebrating 60 years and so forth of marriage if people couldn’t work at 24.

  45. Jazz Says:

    @Jazz: Wow, u were pretty young. Has it turned you off from marriage at all?

    Hellz yeah. Don’t think I’ll ever do it again. And that’s bad since I’m only 28. Maybe my mind will change one day but right now NO.

  46. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Oh yes, parsons. I always forget about that one since FIT is more famous. I’ll see which one is cheaper.

    i think FIT is …isn’t it state??? it may also have more of a name recognition too??..but parsons is up there..i think PR gave it its name..

    re hogwarts..look i just know jk’s story..i aint a potter addict.

  47. thecomebackgirl Says:

    @ sunny..too lazy to find th ecomment..why cant you do both writing and your psych stuff..tons of writers workshops live andonline..you could take a creative writing class or whatever else interest you at your own school or at a community college..

    thats why it took me 5.5 years to finish..i was all over the place… math and science..

    and lots of writing stuff too..momma comeback broke the news down..and said. hurry up and be done LOL..and I finished..

  48. Cuzzo, girl back in the day er’body started doing stuff young!

    @Jazz: It may change.. I know a chick now that is getting a divorce bc she felt they were too young. They got married fresh out of high school and have three kids together. She’s about 34 now though.

    @Comeback: I think I lost my creativity. Don’t get me wrong, if u give me a topic, I can research it and write thee hell out of it… or if I’m talking about myself, it’s easy to let the words flow out. But now, I’m not very creative.. I used to write stories, good ones but that was back in middle school.

    Talk about it (5.5 years)… I have u beat honey chile (but I am only part time too).

    Total aside: WTF is Bobby Valentino singing about “Beep,beep, beep.” Dude, seriously?

  49. slimjackson Says:

    I would’ve stuck with the minor in Computer Information Systems rather than just sayin eff it. That would’ve gave me a lot more job versatility today.


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