Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

“Take You Out the Game” January 14, 2009

Filed under: relationships,Uncategorized — Sunny @ 11:59 pm

I love this song on Jazmine Sullivan’s “Fearless” CD.  In it, she’s singing about being foolish for a man and finally realizing that it’s time to “take him out the game.”

At what point do you realize it’s time to let go of a relationship?  Here are my top reasons (if you notice, I love to write in list form!):

1. When you feel like your losing yourself:   Have you ever or known someone that has totally lost their individuality?  Someone who no longer speaks in “I”…. their sentences now begin with only “We” or “Ole boy/ ole girl said.”  You need to call a search party quick because this person has went off course.

2.  When you are giving more than you are getting:  I’m not talking literal here…. you don’t have to sit down and calculate the 1:1 or 2:1 ratio.  What I mean is you are constantly the one put on the compromising end.  He/she  always expects you to be there for him but you can’t expect the same from your partner.  I found myself here before too.. I don’t want to make it all about money, but I am a giver and I was giving too much! 

3.  When your tears outweigh your cheers:  When you find yourself crying more over what he/she has done to you, it’s time to get to steppin.   As Changing Faces said, “I can do bad all by myself.”

4.  When you become isolated from friends and family:  Let’s keep it real, some folks are MONOPOLIZERS… they need all of your time and you find yourself depending on them for EVERYTHING.  Some men or women don’t want you around your family or friends and begin to take over your entire life….. suddenly everyone that ever existed before them is “bad for you.”  This is one of my family members…  I don’t see her, she canot drive to my house without her man bringing her; she can’t even go grocery shopping by herself! 

5.  When you start thinking you are nuts:  I have been here before….  Example #1:  One guy told me he didn’t want a relationship CONSTANTLY but would throw a fit when he found out I was seeing other people.  I called him on it (the no relationship thing) and his response, “that’s not what I meant.”  Maybe I am “special” in more ways than one, but when you say you didn’t want a relationship, what else can that mean? LOL   Example #2:  This guy was not comfortable with emotions so he tried to convince me to get rid of mine….  he hated when I cried when he left (it was long distance).  [insert blank stare here:  wrkct: Mik].

What say you?

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31 Responses to ““Take You Out the Game””

  1. miss t-lee Says:

    This is an on point post.
    *kudos to Jazmine for the GZA sample on this song*

  2. thecomebackgirl Says:

    co-sign..totally agree..
    particularly with 1 and 3.

    3 esp..people always think love is suppose to be painful and about turmoil and drama..ITS NOT.

  3. i am in complete agreement as well…

    this is part of making that list that comes up in tp movies…that list pros/cons and if cons outweigh..pray on it..try to fix it and if it doesn’t work..then well…leave but sometimes one con might outweigh all the pros

  4. Gracias Miss T-lee!!!!

    Thanks Comeback! I don’t think love is turmoil and drama either… it’s the people involved.

    Thanks Jac! I think a lot of people try to fix things that can’t be fixed… some folks just are. U have make the decision to stay and accept or walk away, u kno?

  5. Britt Says:

    Great post Nicki! Jazzy is the TROOF!!! I LOVE that album and have worn it out already.

    I can’t reiterate point 3 enough. When the bad outweighs the good on a consistent basis then it’s time to raise up homie.

  6. Thanks Britt! Girl, I have been playing that song out.. and Lions and Tigers and Bears.

  7. Sunny I thought she meant she was gonna take her heart out the game if it kept getting her in trouble.

    But I digress…great list.

    When they begin taking you for granted and being unappreciative of you and all you do…time to get out.

    I agree with the last one as well. Playing them head games and they flip the ish they did wrong and try and make you feel bad for they foolishness.

    Also, when nothing is ever good enough for them. The music you listen to, the clothes you wear…eff girl!

  8. Thanks Britt! Girl, I have been playing that song out.. and Lions and Tigers and Bears.

    After the Hurricane is my favorite. This album jams though…she did her thing!

  9. Hey J Boogie: DAYUM, I think u are right. (after nth listen!) LOL.. I like the song anyway. LOL.

    Thanks girl.

    “Also, when nothing is ever good enough for them. The music you listen to, the clothes you wear…eff girl!”

    Exactly! Great additions Jay.

    I honestly skimmed the cd and ended up with these two songs… something about the rhythm I think!

  10. Nyela Goodness Says:

    Good stuff. I co-sign completely!

  11. Britt Says:

    Lions and Tigers and Bears and I’m in Love with Another Man are consitently on the “Recently Played” list.

  12. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Good morning! Lord knows I have experienced all 5!! But I can say that 1 and 3 were experienced at a very young age when I really didnt know myself….

  13. I need to do a blog about what’s on your recently played list Britt. I love music!

    @Holister: God mernin chica! For me, #3 happened later in life. When I was younger, I kicked dudes to the curb QUICK.. but as I got older, I started listening to folks around me who criticized me for my cutthroat spirit. Now in life, I’m back to my younger way of thinking!

  14. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Nicki- I am mostly cutthroat but there is always a nagga who worms his way into my heart then I get all soft….

  15. “@Nicki- I am mostly cutthroat but there is always a nagga who worms his way into my heart then I get all soft….”

    Those friggin charmers! My nose be all wide open catching horseflys. LOL

  16. Holly GoLightly Says:

    LOL! Girl Im telling you that’s how Mr. Isolation wormed his little way in… now I got Tim “The Toolman” Taylor aka Mr. Bailbondsman….

    BTW I wonder is that what he really does…

  17. Junior Says:

    Ugh…I think you just wrote about my last relationship….

  18. @Holister: Bailbondsman is a cutie.

    See Junior, that’s why you needed me. I could’ve helped a brotha out.

  19. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Nicki I heart him… I really do… he is a sweetheart….

  20. Holly GoLightly Says:

    That’s why its kinda hard to multitask!

  21. Junior Says:

    I could’ve, but when I’m in, I’m all in, so I ended trying to be form and the substance of the relationship all by myself. But aside from #4…yep…sounds like me. My mom always told me I love hard, I just think my pimp hand wasn’t strong enough.

  22. Jac is going to be featuring a post w/ Lions, Tigers and Bears tomorrow stay tuned

    Followed by a happy hating azz surprise

  23. Oh Lawdy. Who shot your monkey Jac?

  24. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Jada love the saying! I say who pissed in your cheerios!!

  25. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Holly need some validation!

  26. peyso Says:

    I have been a victim of number five and I have also been the victimizer of #5. It’s like I’m trying to save my dinner for tomorrow and eat some other sh*t today but then the dinner I wanted for tomorrow done went bad….

  27. @Holister: I’m glad u found a good one!

    “I could’ve, but when I’m in, I’m all in, so I ended trying to be form and the substance of the relationship all by myself.”

    @Junior: And this will lead to disaster! It’s all about a learning experience.

    “It’s like I’m trying to save my dinner for tomorrow and eat some other sh*t today but then the dinner I wanted for tomorrow done went bad….”

    confusing ‘ish, I tell you!

  28. Jazz Says:

    I’ve been through all except #4. I met the husband when I was only twenty and he was 28 so my whole twenties have been wrapped up in him and his foolishness. But I stayed because I was young then got preggers then we got married. But when I got to #5 I was like something has got to give.

  29. ” But when I got to #5 I was like something has got to give.”

    It seems like a lot of us have been through #5… when I was going through it I thought I was the only one!

  30. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @ Nick- so far so good… dem representatives are still out Honey Chile!


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