Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Where are my panties? January 22, 2009

Filed under: Dating,relationships — peyso @ 12:01 am

***ADMIN NOTE***Hi all!  Today we’re going to do things a little different…in fact we’re usually hearing from the female perspective but today we’re introducing a brother into the mix every Thursday…So without further ado…here’s Peyso! Enjoy!

There are some questions that will perpetually plague our society until the end of time. What does God look like? Can we really solve world hunger? Are the women of SSSO really as freaky as they say they are? I have seen many an argument about these topics and topics like these. However, there is one question that will force an otherwise civil conversation to explode with emotion. It makes the blog world cringe, a woman’s spine tingle and a man’s loin tremble. What makes a woman a gardening tool? While this can be debated until the cows come home, there are some things that will definitely get you labeled a bum cucket? If you bless the whole ball team, you’re probably a shmeez. If you got 3 kids and for each of them there is 8 possible baby daddies, you might be a shmut. If your nickname contains the word head or relates you to the Grand Canyon, there is a strong possibility that you are in fact a slore. If you sleep with a guy on the first night, you could be a hoe. OR NOT.

That’s right. Yea I said it. Just because you slept with a dude on the first night DOES NOT mean you are a bizz jasket. I know I’m going to catch a whole of flack, in my inaugural post (I’ve been looking for ways to say this since Tuesday) from both men and women. I think once I explain most men at least will agree with me. However, before we get into explaining my logic we have to set some parameters. We are not talking about a situation where you knew the other person for awhile and when ya finally decided to chill, you let him smash it out the door frame. This situation is way too complicated and will vary from situation to situation. I am talking about situations where this is literally the first time you have met the bol and you wake up the next morning looking for your bloomers.

Imagine this, it’s your birthday and you’ve been on strike from the pumpington for nearly 6 months. And ya girls take you out for your b’day. Your whole squad got the little black dresses on with ya freak’em pumps on and what not, even the ugly chick in the crew is looking good. You consume copious amounts of alcohol and you meet an attractive young man. Ya hit it off, he buys all the girlies drinks. He can dance. Ya have a great conversation. He owns a condo and works a good job. He spends practically the whole night with you. Ya go to breakfast afterwards and he doesn’t even hint at going back to your place or you going to his. Somehow, ya still end up at his place. He gives you the pumpington that you’ve been missing for 6 months and not in the way that he woulda gave it to a JO or a FwB, he cares a little bit. In the morning you cant find yo drawers but you wake up to him cooking you breakfast. Ya chill a tad bit longer then ya exchange numbers and he puts you in a cab.

I think most people would say that this situation is ok. I cant ever imagine spending the whole night at a club with a woman unless she was my SO and buying all of her friends drinks, even the one who drinks like a fish. I think that man deserves the cutty and it would actually be more hoish for a woman not to oblige. Don’t worry, the dude aint gonna think you a slore. You don’t spend that much time and effort on a slizzer. In the words of Andre 3000, “you’re just a woman who knows what she wants out of life”. Men determine your holigibility based on how much effort they had to put out. You could make him wait 5 years but if he aint ever had to put any effort out, in his mind you’re shmiggity. However, you can let him give you the business on the first night and because he put in so much effort, he’ll love you forever.

Don’t confuse the story I told with a dude letting only you and your 2 good looking friends come into VIP. They’re constantly shuffling in jawns in and out of their little BS VIP section. They poor alcohol down your throat straight from the bottle. Ya emulate sex on the dance floor. He tries to get it popped in his suped up Dodge Charger. If you let this man smash, you my friend are probably a tramp.

These are only my thoughts though. Is it ever acceptable for a woman to sleep with a man on the first date? If so, when is it? And fellas (if you’re out there), what are you thinking when it happens?

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110 Responses to “Where are my panties?”

  1. Great post Peyso… and the Andre 3000 interlude has to be the best one ever (ice cold!)

    To each its own. Some women “know what they won’t out of life,” and if he doesn’t call the next day, she can say “it is what it is.” So in that case, it’s perfectly acceptable to handle her business. I will not call a woman a gardening tool just because she did that.

    As for me, I’d be worrying, “I did it too fast… what if I didn’t, blahzay,” which results in me driving myself nuts….

  2. Jaci Says:

    LOVES the vid. Great post! And Welcome to SSSO!

    I will freely admit right here that I slept with the love of my life right at 24 hours after we met. BUT…he’d already invested much more than he should have into me and what I needed SO…I was cool with it. He then became my boyfriend-I remember asking him time and time again if he’d lost respect for me and he was like absolutely not…you’re my baby. I’m with Peyso here…I think it depends on the situation

  3. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Great Post Peyso! I was trying to think of the Andre 3000 line yesterday for Comeback’s post!! I am glad you have touched on the subject!! The guy I am currently seeing or entertaining I knew for about 3 weeks maybe 2 and half… we talked everyday and finally hung out and it was that night that I gave in and did the grown folks tango… now he did continue to call and he cooked breakfast the next day, but I still am kinda catching flack from some friends about sleeping with him! Now I dont feel bad and I am not the chick who does one night stands, but I feel like every situation with someone is different.

  4. 80's Baby Says:

    Is it ever acceptable for a woman to sleep with a man on the first date?

    I’m not bout to judge anybody else but all I know is it just couldn’t be me. If that’s what they want to do then that’s on them. To each it’s own though…

  5. AnitraClark Says:

    I have two stances on it just because I have been in a situation where I did it to soon and the other where I waited.

    Personally even after all my banter (per a post a few days ago), I would wait simply because (I) would drive myself crazy wondering what he thought of me (even if he just said he was coo) it plays on my emotions way to much.

    I slept with 1 person in my life too soon ( date 2) not sure of the time frame between the 2 dates but I just consider it too soon because it was only our second meeting. That turned into a 4 year he loves me he loves me not and im sure the last peddle on the flower is NOT. there is NOTHING (in my eyes really) that a man can do in 24 hours or two days that constitutes (work) but everyone standard is different. But I will say if it ever happen again (drunken or not) I wouldn’t beat myself up about it, because it doesn’t help either parties.

    On the other hand the man I am seeing now put in a LOT of work, and our first time (along with a few more times) sucked. I was waiting on a committed relationship and I did get that.
    Thankfully the situation has improved almost 100% and I wouldn’t ever trade what I have now for a 24 hour stand. It just plays to much on my brain and for that its not worth it. No matter WHAT dude says.

  6. AnitraClark Says:

    point is if your strong enough to handle any possible consequences that may come then by all means go for it, but me personally have proven myself to NOT be able to handle it.

  7. Jaci Says:

    Hey Holister.

    Hey 80s.

    I think 80s is right. It’s kinda a to each their own kinda thing. BUT…I think a lot of people (men and women) let themselves get caught up…in what society thinks instead of what’s really…important (what you think)

  8. Holly GoLightly Says:

    I think it’s all about what you can and cant handle… Now because I slept with Bailbondsman soon I dont let it consume my brain… I was worried that next morning but I am liked hey it’s happened aint nothing I can do about it but make sure that what we have isnt based on sex… In addition I dont think me sleeping with him in a short time frame makes me a slore…

  9. Jaci Says:

    Hey Mik! U snuck in on me!

    “point is if your strong enough to handle any possible consequences that may come then by all means go for it, but me personally have proven myself to NOT be able to handle it.”

    Right. And I know for one thing I wasn’t always strong enough for it, but once I got to the point where I was…it opened up a whole new world to me. I am kinda grateful I was able to do it and not stress.

    Anyone got weekend plans yet?

  10. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Hey Everybody!!!

    Hey Jac!

    You are right Jac nobody thinks about what’s important to them and how they feel….

  11. Jaci Says:

    “I dont think me sleeping with him in a short time frame makes me a slore…”

    I don’t think it makes you a slore either…furthermore I think if he thought you were a slore he wouldn’t still be actively tryna chill…he’d just be like let me RUN through not let’s sit and chill.

  12. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Thanks Jac! 🙂

    I havent made my plans yet

  13. AnitraClark Says:

    Holly you seem to have been strong enough and some men don’t even think of it as big as a deal as a lotta people make it out to be

    I remember one thing Nicki mentioned a while back is s*x becoming a default activity looking back on my situation thats exactly what it was, we did it everytime we saw eachother lucky if we spoke much lol.

  14. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Mik- I think I just was like hey it happened I enjoyed it we are both grown and it did help I guess that he cooked breakfast the next morning. Believe me it was awkward the next morning but I mean what can you do….

    And that’s what I dont want to happen is the sex becoming a default activity… like I want us to do things, experience places, and still develop a friendship base.

  15. Jaci Says:

    Sex as a default activity is definitely not the business. I need us to be doing something more than that. Honestly, I think I realized I was in a good relationship when that would be the last thing on my mind…

  16. AnitraClark Says:

    Yea Holly I feel you

    I would (if it was me) continue to “do me” which we already know you ALREADY DO lol, and allow him to CONTINUE to put in work and really prove himself worthy of your extra time. That not to say treat him bad but I would not go above and beyond the call of duty.

    I messed up (in my situation) by 1 assuming he was my man and acting as such, and 2 NOT allowing space between us to let him pursue me. Had I just waited time would have proven if he was ACTUALLY interested in me outside of s8x. and 24 hours wouldn’t have turned into 4 years of I can’t stand that Ninja but damn he can rock my world.

    That wasn’t love it was pure lust.

    I had this convo with my bestie last night, it got REALLY deep and we both learned some things. I love my bestie!

  17. peyso Says:

    Heylo all, thanks for having me. Many strong arguments here, but all I’m saying is you’re not schmeez. If you are suffering from self inflicted mental anguish, that’s all on you.

  18. dude, this was awesome. the wit…impeccable

    I think it’s pretty clear that it all depends on the WOMAN. If you give off a hoish vibe, then we deal with you that way. If you give off a “sophisticated woman” vibe, then we deal with it accordingly.

    Oh yeah, and on the “default scrumping” thing, hmmmm….some people are really good at scrumping and not much else. Ya gotta let people play to their strengths….

  19. AnitraClark Says:

    “If you are suffering from self inflicted mental anguish, that’s all on you”

    I agree with this in part.

    I think it also has to do with a mans actions AFTER the act, I mean if he stops callin stops askin me on dates ect.. I have no choice but to believe he just aint into me. and how could he be when he don’t know me.

    he got what he wanted, which at some point in time is a mans goal from day 1

    i would be worried if a man was lookin at me thinkin (wow i really wanna get to know how smart she is) on day one.

    I think its more like damn she is fine I wanna hit!

  20. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “These are only my thoughts though. Is it ever acceptable for a woman to sleep with a man on the first date? If so, when is it? And fellas (if you’re out there), what are you thinking when it happens?”

    As my general rule..Im going to say no. And as a woman in her young 30s..I’m not thinking its a good look at this point in my life.

  21. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Mik- Besties are the READ!!!!! They are great!!!

    @Peyso- You are the best!!

    @Whyso- I SOOOOOO BELIEVE IN THE VIBE!!!!!!!! (I think Jolie is gonna be writing about this!)

  22. Jaci Says:

    “If you give off a hoish vibe, then we deal with you that way. If you give off a “sophisticated woman” vibe, then we deal with it accordingly.”

    Amen.

    “I think it also has to do with a mans actions AFTER the act, I mean if he stops callin stops askin me on dates ect.. I have no choice but to believe he just aint into me. and how could he be when he don’t know me.”

    Right Mik.

    “As my general rule..Im going to say no. And as a woman in her young 30s..I’m not thinking its a good look at this point in my life.”

    Definitely to each their own. I think for some it works and for others it doesn’t.

    Holly-Ur my bestie!!! And you’re so FAB

  23. I think that man deserves the cutty and it would actually be more hoish for a woman not to oblige.

    Can someone tell me what kind of FUGGERY is this? So just cause you bought me and my girls drinks all night you deserve some @ss? Ummmm….NO.

    As far as the question…not my style…but to each their own. If it’s something that woman goes around doing on a regular basis…she’s a HOE!

  24. 80's Baby Says:

    i would be worried if a man was lookin at me thinkin (wow i really wanna get to know how smart she is) on day one.

    I think its more like damn she is fine I wanna hit!

    @Mik… I want a man to look at me on day one as if I’m intriguing and he want to get to know more about me.I don’t want a dude looking at me like yeah, I gotta have that… No thank you!!!

    Some dudes who I’ve come across and have let their sexual intentions known early and that was a huge turnoff to me.

  25. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Jac- UR MINE!!! I LOVE YOU!

  26. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Hey ya’ll Holly has posted the dates!!

  27. AnitraClark Says:

    “Some dudes who I’ve come across and have let their sexual intentions known early and that was a huge turnoff to me.”

    EXACTLY

  28. Some dudes who I’ve come across and have let their sexual intentions known early and that was a huge turnoff to me.

    I don’t know 80’s. I like for men to make their intentions known from the gate. That way if they’re just about sex, I can NEXT their @ss and keep it moving w/o wasting their time or mine.

  29. peyso Says:

    “Can someone tell me what kind of FUGGERY is this? So just cause you bought me and my girls drinks all night you deserve some @ss? Ummmm….NO.”

    Yes, or you could just not accept, but thats too much of a difficult concept I guess lol

    And if he doesnt call, he’s not interested RIGHT NOW, doesnt speak for later

  30. 80's Baby Says:

    I don’t know 80’s. I like for men to make their intentions known from the gate. That way if they’re just about sex, I can NEXT their @ss and keep it moving w/o wasting their time or mine

    @ jada…. I get what you’re saying… But I think if the dudes primary intention is sex then they’re not gonna be able to hide it too long……So it’s gonna be revealed sooner than later….

  31. Jaci Says:

    @Jada-Now I do not agree with a man deserving the p*ssy…simply because that’s like me saying I deserve a pearl necklace…and we know the men don’t like that.

    @80s-I think I believe in having a bit of intrigue about yourself…kinda letting a man try and figure out what’s in your alabaster box instead of opening them up and spreading them right off for the world to see (process can be quick)

    And I, too, would like the man to say what he wants. Don’t have me wasting my time.

  32. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @80’s- I actually have seen some guys hide that intention and when they get it they are out…

  33. “Can someone tell me what kind of FUGGERY is this? So just cause you bought me and my girls drinks all night you deserve some @ss? Ummmm….NO.”

    Yes, or you could just not accept, but thats too much of a difficult concept I guess lol

    And if he doesnt call, he’s not interested RIGHT NOW, doesnt speak for later

    You lost me Peyso. Why does a man, (or anybody for that matter), DESERVE some @ss cause the other party decided to spend money on them?

    That’s like me saying I typed your essay paper for you, now whip out your dick and let’s do this. Or maybe I missed the point. Let me re-read..

  34. Ok Ok….so Peyso…is the girl you spending money on the girlfried or SO? Or just a chick you met?

  35. peyso Says:

    Its not about the actual physical item that you are receiving. Its about that he is going completely out of his way to make sure that he is having a good time and knowing that for you to have a good time all your friends have to have a good one too.

    I mean its a big difference if I’m some balling and I’m buying drinks than if I’m just working 9-5 like you are.

    However, you could always turn down the drinks for you and your squad. You know that is an option. In all honesty, you cant get mad at a dude for expecting some when he just dropped major bread (read: $3-400) on you. Kudos to the man who doesnt expect anything.

  36. Jaci Says:

    @Jada-I am completely dead @ u…I typed the essay now give me some..that’s what I was saying I don’t agree with that whole word deserve…Can we change that?

  37. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @ Jada- Hilarious but true!!

  38. peyso Says:

    @ Jaci – deserve doesnt mean he gonna get it. I deserve a good grade doesnt mean I always get one. Just acknowledge that you should.

    @ Enchantment – I aint spending no money, on no jawns in the club. But I do have friends who buy bottles and I will act like they are mine….

  39. Jaci Says:

    @Peyso-“I aint spending no money, on no jawns in the club. But I do have friends who buy bottles and I will act like they are mine….”

    I need to know what you look like to make sure you’re not out perpetrating.

  40. However, you could always turn down the drinks for you and your squad. You know that is an option. In all honesty, you cant get mad at a dude for expecting some when he just dropped major bread (read: $3-400) on you. Kudos to the man who doesnt expect anything.

    Alright Peyso…gotta disagree. I have friends who have taken me on all expense paid trips to Miami and such and didn’t expect shit from me but to have a good time. I’m talking flight, swanky ass hotel room. Never worried about food…hummer limo wherever we went, VIP in clubs, drinks…whatever, and did NOT expect any @ss.

  41. 80's Baby Says:

    I actually have seen some guys hide that intention and when they get it they are out…

    @holly…I’m curious to know how they hid it??? And see I’m just like do they really hide it… Or is that one of the things that as females we chose to ignore in the beginning… If he said I’m willing to wait but then always brought up sex…. Do we still think he’s willing to wait??? I think the clues are there we just have to pick up on them…..

  42. peyso Says:

    @ Enchantment – #1) those are your friends, not dude in club
    #2) how you know they werent really expecting anything
    #3) that person doesnt count b/c its apparent they were balling and are outside the framework of the argument
    #4) i think if a person did that with the intentions of swooning you, and he in fact did get the cutty, you would not be a hoe

  43. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @80’s- They just never expressed that they were looking for that… like pre-sex all cool anything you want need I got… listening to every word blah blah blah and then when they get the virgina its all over— CHIVALRY DEAD! And they didnt even talk about sex…. you would’ve thought they were a virgin….

    Some give clues but some are just plain ole wolves in sheeps clothing!!

  44. Jaci Says:

    “I have friends who have taken me on all expense paid trips to Miami and such and didn’t expect shit from me but to have a good time. I’m talking flight, swanky ass hotel room. Never worried about food…hummer limo wherever we went, VIP in clubs, drinks…whatever, and did NOT expect any @ss.”

    Jada-I will say I think there’s a strange line in how men and women relate to this. for one thing…I had a man do all those nice things for me and then he turns around and says I did all that for you and yet you didn’t even give me any…WTF? I’m supposed to automatically know. So…I’m thinking I’m going to go with men always having getting the booty on their minds.

    80s-I kinda think this might apply to what you were saying as well.

  45. Okay Peyso…I can kinda see your point. Just KINDA though!

    BTW…I know I came @ you hard…but good post dear.

  46. peyso Says:

    @ Enchantment – It’s all good, that’s what I expected coming into the lion’s den

  47. Jazz Says:

    Okay I understand what you’re saying but errrr….isn’t the guy a hoe too? Why does it just have to be the female?

  48. Jada-I will say I think there’s a strange line in how men and women relate to this. for one thing…I had a man do all those nice things for me and then he turns around and says I did all that for you and yet you didn’t even give me any…WTF? I’m supposed to automatically know. So…I’m thinking I’m going to go with men always having getting the booty on their minds.

    To me it’s amazing how ONE WORD misconstrued can completely make a man and woman disagree.

    Your boy was wrong. My babies lurve me though. Til this day they always like you need anything let me know I got you. Of course I never ask…but I’m just glad to know they have my back just in case.

  49. Okay I understand what you’re saying but errrr….isn’t the guy a hoe too? Why does it just have to be the female?

    Great point Jazz!

  50. Jaci Says:

    @Jada-I lurve you too lol…and you’re right I think it is. He was mad because I just relaxed lol and read and took a bath and ate…

    He basically sounded like I’m the king and I want a affection

    *stomps foot* boy please.

    @Jazz-YEAH! Ay! Peyso…what makes a man a ho#e?

  51. peyso Says:

    @ Jazz – This post is entitled “Where are my panties?”, next week maybe we’ll discuss “where are my boxer briefs?”

  52. @Jada-I lurve you too lol…and you’re right I think it is. He was mad because I just relaxed lol and read and took a bath and ate…

    He basically sounded like I’m the king and I want a affection

    *stomps foot* boy please.

    I lurves you too Jaci Pooh! LOL @ your boy. He is a hot mess!

  53. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Yes Peyso lets discuss then what constitutes a male being a Hoe… and do men refer to other men as Hoes…

  54. Jaci Says:

    Ooooh Peyso..yeah…I agree with Holly I need to know this.

    @Jada-Girl he still talking about it three months later..like you tricked me and I just want you on your back…Dude it’s so not EVER gonna happen…I don’t care how much work you put in and if it does…well…nah it’s never gonna happen

  55. @Jada-Girl he still talking about it three months later..like you tricked me and I just want you on your back…Dude it’s so not EVER gonna happen…I don’t care how much work you put in and if it does…well…nah it’s never gonna happen

    Oh my gosh tell the baby to LET IT GO ALREADY! And how the hell does he think you tricked him?

  56. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @ Jaci- 😉

  57. Jac Says:

    @Jada-Precisely…I have tried everything to get him to let go…EVERYTHING.

    He thinks I tricked him because he’d rented a hotel room…which I stayed in…in silk pants and a t-shirt…I guess after spending $500 in less than 24 hours and helping me get things I needed he thought he needed it.

  58. peyso Says:

    There are dudes that are hoes(pause) but their number is usually some astronomically high. Higher than 60 or 70

  59. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Peyso- 60 and 70 what????

  60. peyso Says:

    @ Holly – 60 or 70 bodies. For men the number tells it all, but it isnt that big of a deal. Ya women are part of the reason its a big deal for a woman to be hoe

  61. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Peyso- They lying on their dyck! NGBATBTBS!!!

  62. holly…

    sweetheart, you’d be surprised. i know dudes who aren’t necessarily smuts, but started early. It can add up, depending on how much dating one does.

  63. peyso Says:

    @ Holly – Some ppl are but sadly some ppl arent. If you’re lying why not say a reasonable/believable number so you dont get caught out there. Plus lying on your dyck makes it shrink.

  64. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @WhySo- I guess Im not believing it because I feel like it’s easier for women to get ass than men…

    @Peyso- “Plus lying on your dyck makes it shrink.”

    LOL! HA HA! Reverse Pinocchio style!! I think men lie because it makes them looked experienced, more sexually appealing. Plus if he banging girls like that then he must really be hung like a horse!!

  65. Jac Says:

    Wow…@ lying on ur d!ck…

    Holly-Keep asking questions!

    Peyso-Are you saying that if other women weren’t so quick with the label men wouldn’t be either?

  66. @Peyso- “Plus lying on your dyck makes it shrink.”

    LOL! HA HA! Reverse Pinocchio style!! I think men lie because it makes them looked experienced, more sexually appealing. Plus if he banging girls like that then he must really be hung like a horse!!

    It just makes me think he has no criteria and will stick his peen in anything. Just EEEEWWWW! I’mma need for men to have some d@mn standards besides she got a pussy and she’s breathing.

  67. peyso Says:

    @ Jac – Not exactly but close. Men would still call ppl ho3s but the stigma would be removed in a way. If you listen to dudes, even though we may not necessarily wife a schmiggity (exceptions do happen) we wont talk about her. Yea, we’ll say she’s nasty and what not but not demean her character and act weird around her. Women on the other hand get real nasty to a woman that they think is a schmash, especially a schmash that she doesnt like

  68. peyso Says:

    @ Enchantment – In the right situation its possible for a 25yo man to get to 50 w/o being labeled a ho3. Start at 16yo. 2 a year til college which makes 6. Three girls a semesters for ten semesters (assuming this person is an athlete or had to do an extra year), so at 23 we are at 36. If he pledged, throw in the random sex he will have due to him being a neo and that easily adds 4. Add 2 for every summer and were’s almost 50 in a college career.

    My number personally would be higher if I liked to have sex when I was in college, but I just liked gettin head lol

  69. Jazz Says:

    “If you listen to dudes, even though we may not necessarily wife a schmiggity

    So guys will gladly smash a hoe but not marry one? What if she’s a reformed hoe?

  70. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @ Jada- Fully AGREE!!!

  71. Jaci Says:

    I see exactly what you’re saying. It’s like we get all negative and talk about her all over the place while you just be like “dude she naaaaasty. Alright I get it.

    Now onto WhySo-So if a man starts @ 13 and has 72 partners @ 36 that’s not so bad right? That’s averaging about three jawns a year?

  72. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @ Jazz- good question!

  73. Jaci Says:

    So do the same college…pledging etc. apply to chick? I need to know if my number is high…I’m curious?

  74. Yea, we’ll say she’s nasty and what not but not demean her character and act weird around her. Women on the other hand get real nasty to a woman that they think is a schmash, especially a schmash that she doesnt like

    B/C there is always an opportunity to hit is again no strings attached. Of course men are not gonna burn their bridges to easily accessible cooch.

  75. 80's Baby Says:

    i know dudes who aren’t necessarily smuts, but started early. It can add up, depending on how much dating one does.

    @ whyso…. I agree….I don’t even know if I want to ask the number because people might not be all the truthful. But that’s still information that needs to be shared..

    I can just imagine the convo going like this:

    Me: So how many people have you been with?
    PBF: You mean like been with been with
    Me: Yea I mean been with and be honest.
    PBF: Uhhh…
    Me: [gettin nervous] Well, maybe I don’t want to kno..
    PBF: No, I’ll tell you… 100
    Me: [blank stare] Are you serious?
    PBF: Yeah, so now it’s your turn
    Me: Ummm 1
    Awkward silence
    Me: Ummmmm yeah so I don’t know if this is going to work…

  76. peyso Says:

    @ Jazz – Smash but not marry but there are situations where some individuals will knowingly marry a ho3. I could marry a reformend ho3 but she would have had to be a hoe at least 5 years ago on a different coast, and if i was to have a large wedding none of her past could be mistakenly invited, meaning at least 5 degrees of separation away

    @ Jaci – College a chick may add 4, pledging a chick may add 1.

  77. Jaci Says:

    @80s-Well d@mn. (NMH)

    @Peyso-Ok SOOOO…my number is wayyyyy too big.

  78. jac…

    it depends. You also have to factor in years he’s had a girlfriend. He might get referrals and has a system. You never know, unless you ask…

    So question. Does a guy’s number really matter, one way or the other? And do you really want to know?

  79. peyso Says:

    @ Jaci – Like I’ve said before, the number is like a credit score. Its the only determinant that I have to predict future actions. However, I think men act too much like big banks going off of credit score alone. We should be more like credit unions, if we’re gonna ask for the number, you should be able to explain why the number is so high. With a good explanation, your bad credit score might get overlooked

  80. @ Why…I really do not want oro need to know unless it will affect MY HEALTH! Other than that…please keep that shat to yourself.

  81. 80's Baby Says:

    So question. Does a guy’s number really matter, one way or the other? And do you really want to know?

    @whyso… Please refer to #75… Thanks

  82. chea.

    So what’s the cutoff number?

    I know people have a past. But when a girl has gotten to her 20’s, it’s like…ehhhhh, erra ummmm….yeah, we’ll need to do a booth review

    Oh yeah, stop by awesome inc for some good ol awesome.

  83. Holly GoLightly Says:

    I think people need to do booth review period!

  84. 80's Baby Says:

    So what’s the cutoff number?

    @whyso… I’m gonna need to put some thought into this. And I understand that men’s numbers may be slightly higher…. But still I don’t want somebody who done slept with every Kisha, Tameka, and Erica on the block.
    Especially when I have 1 notch under my belt…

  85. 80's Baby Says:

    And the quality of the women that he’s slept with makes a difference too not just the number…. Ya know how you may have your eye on someone out and about and then you see who they gravitate towards… And at the moment it’s like if that’s what he like then I’m straight on that….

  86. 80's Baby Says:

    Oh and one more thing that i forgot to add.. I don’t want something that everybody done already had….

    No thank you!

  87. peyso Says:

    @ 80’s – i think this is wrong. B/c in my experiences, and the experiences of my friends, girls are always gonna think who you think is cute is ugly

  88. Jaci Says:

    Ah ok…see I can explain why my number is so high and I am generally forgiven. I’m with holly a booth review is necessary.

    Whyso-Let me think on this…my most fave love…is/was in the lifestyle so ummmerrrahhh

  89. Jaci Says:

    Also I can see what kinda women most men I date gravitate too.

    Generally all the same…in fact, I met one of the exes…she just like me.

  90. Jazz Says:

    “i think this is wrong. B/c in my experiences, and the experiences of my friends, girls are always gonna think who you think is cute is ugly”

    Ummm TRUTH LOL!

    So guys do prefer girls with low numbers right? And how do you feel about a woman who’s only had 1 partner? Would you pass because you would feel she was inexperienced?

  91. peyso Says:

    @ Jazz – Guys will very rarely pass due to inexperience but will pass due to over experience. I think we spend alot of time talking about this question but how many ppl have really been asked this?

  92. Holly GoLightly Says:

    I dont ask because I honestly dont want to know…..

  93. Jaci Says:

    Hol-Me either. I’ll ask if you’ve been tested. Are you safe…but the number eh…don’t ask, dont’ tell.

  94. 80's Baby Says:

    i think this is wrong. B/c in my experiences, and the experiences of my friends, girls are always gonna think who you think is cute is ugly

    @Peyso and Jazz…I disagree…. I have no problems giving another girl props whether it’s her outfit, hair, makeup, whatever. If she pretty she pretty…

    But what I’m saying is if a guy who I am eyeing is in the face of a girl who looks like a straight up hoodrat and the fact that her outfit came from Rainbow then I am nooo longer interested. I’m just like oh so that’s what he likes… I’m straight on him.

  95. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Yeah I will even ask that we go get tested but dont wanna know ur number!

  96. Shelia Says:

    I think it really boils down to the two people and what they want.

    I don’t condone sleeping with a man after one date if you are looking for something more serious. Sleeping with someone before you’ve had a time to get to know them can cloud your judgment. Before you know it, you’re involved with someone that’s really not good for you. Just because the sex is banging doesn’t mean they make a good boyfriend or girlfriend.

    I think folks should take the time to get to know each other before jumping into bed with one another.

  97. Jaci Says:

    “But what I’m saying is if a guy who I am eyeing is in the face of a girl who looks like a straight up hoodrat and the fact that her outfit came from Rainbow then I am nooo longer interested. I’m just like oh so that’s what he likes… I’m straight on him.”

    80s-I cannot have you hating on Rainbow…I buy items out of there occasionally and I don’t think I’ve EVER looked like a hoodrat lol but anyways…yeah when a chick look like she out to get money…or somesuch and you hollin at that…umm I pass.

    And if you have gold teeth in your mouth…NGBATDI

  98. 80's Baby Says:

    I cannot have you hating on Rainbow

    @Jac… Sorry I was just trying to think of some store…Didn’t mean to offend anyone who shops at Rainbow…..And FYI it’s not just the outfit that makes a hoodrat a ‘rat….

  99. Jaci Says:

    @80s-I am not offended…girl I was laughing!

  100. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Im planning a superbowl party!!

  101. Jaci Says:

    Holister-I wanna come!

  102. peyso Says:

    @ Holly – Am I invited?

  103. Yes everyone can come!!!!!!!!!!!!

  104. Britt Says:

    Hey ladies! Interesting post Peyso. I have had many men tell me that chex on the first date doesn’t make you a slut … but I think they are just saying that to get the drawers faster.

    At the end of the day people are going to do what they want to do. Most are not virgins so it’s interesting how equally sexually active people see fit to put labels on others. Just my thoughts …

  105. Jaci Says:

    @Britt-That’s a good point. Ain’t nobody around here pure…so why cast stones…and those who are… well bless their hearts.

  106. NY to the Heart (Cuzzo) Says:

    Between getting things together for the changes I have to endure after my layoff and having the flu I’ve been on hiatus from SSSO.

    Bon Voyage and Good Luck with ya’ll blog.

  107. […] Original post: Where are my panties? « Single Sisters Speak Out […]

  108. slimjackson Says:

    Look at the man Peyso entering the wonderful world of blogging from the author side. Good post and ish. Roo to the educated and articulate bruhz.lol.

  109. I’m late, but I’ve been in class for yesterday and today … and since there is nothing new today … and my man Peyso made his debut (dawg … you shoulda talked to me … I coulda beat their offer) … so I gotta comment.

    Sex on the first date doesn’t make you a hoe, but it for damn sure means your not gonna be more than a cut buddy. maybe its me and my secretive conservative ways, but I don’t think I could ever do it.

  110. “Britt Says:

    January 22, 2009 at 3:31 pm
    Hey ladies! Interesting post Peyso. I have had many men tell me that chex on the first date doesn’t make you a slut … but I think they are just saying that to get the drawers faster.”

    Well IMHO I don’t think of a woman that has chex on the first date is a slut! It would actually be nice to meet a woman who had the ability to stand up for herself and say “I’m out tonight to get a piece” and is confident about it. Woman have made their minds up about sleeping someone 2 minutes after seeing or talking to a guy. Men have no additional “sway the vote” power although we like to think we do! Now when “she” has made the decision on who she has preyed after, she goes and gets her swerve on her and under her own terms! (numbers are for anyone who is not being careful) I call that a sexually free and confident woman not a slut…problem is woman just don’t do it and I think they do get horny from time to time! Ladies remember you hold the lock every man wants to unlock, so you can be more selective if you need a quick fix (long term playmate not one nite stand)…not many guys will turn you down! Confidence, experience and woman who is truly comfortable with herself, knows her body, skills etc. is more desired than the girl who can barely say “orgasm” without making a face! Give me the woman who has been to the four corners of her bed and not just seen them from a far!

    But that’s just me and I’m not the norm when it come to brothas!


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