Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

How to Be Your Own Get Right…. January 26, 2009

All this talk about men…and how to get them, keep them, make them pursue you whatever is a slight bit worrisome to me.  So…we here at SSSO are gonna take this week to focus on how sexy Djimon Housou is ourselves.  See…we’re always talking about what we expect a man to do for us blah, blah and blah.

What about what we’re doing for ourselves?  Think about it…do you have center?  Peace of mind?  Can we see where we are going in comparison to where we are and where we have been?  Now, I am not saying that you have to follow everything that I am going to list, but here are a few things that we as women need to do to be right for our mothers, our men, and the world ourselves.

1. Eat healthy and Exercise-Black women are known to be Superwomen.  They run around everywhere doing everything for everyone except themselves.  This likely leads them to grab whatever they can get their hands on to eat…McDonald’s, Burger King…just anything.  This is NOT healthy…we’ve got to do better.  Join the 50 Million Pound Challenge or

2. Get to church-or somewhere that gives you a source of inspiration and balance.  Maybe that place is yoga…maybe it’s a meditation room, or a quiet garden.

3. Pay yourself first.-A lot of Blacks are making the bad choices of paying Louis, Dooney&Bourke, and Prada.  What good is having that fabulous purse if you have nothing to put in it.  Find something to invest in…it’s a great time to do houses or stocks.  I definitely think it’s important to be sure you have a rainy day fund.  For all the ladies who are not single, have something for yourself outside of what your man says.  I learned that from Granny–have something for yourself…end of story.  Oh and check your annual credit report!

4. Take time for yourself- Outside of going to that special place where you find center and peace of mind, we should all do something where we are in a place totally alone.  For me, it’s the bathtub or the shower (ask those who know me) I am always in there…and if I’m not communicating with someone then I am taking definite time for myself…thinking and…

5. Dream and dream big.-Think about yourself driving that Porsche or living in that villa in France.  Think about the things that really make you happy and use them to your advantage.  Always think positive.  Write your dreams for people to see…and wait on them and well…they won’t wait to come to you 😉

Everyone just really needs to remember that even though we are all superwomen, we will easily not be able to do the things we’re doing now if we don’t take care of ourselves.  Beyond that, since we’ve all celebrated Ms. Michelle and who she is with Barack, I think we need to realize she didn’t marry him until she was 29.  She was a whole person without him and if any of us ever even want to dream of…..well just get yourself ready.

SO tell me what would you add to the list?  What are somethings that you’re doing to better yourselves?  What centers you?  Men, what would you like to see us doing?  Anything you know that would really hope us ladies?

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31 Responses to “How to Be Your Own Get Right….”

  1. Anitra Says:

    “What good is having that fabulous purse if you have nothing to put in it.”

    I E-Love you for this.

    hmmmm I think you pretty much covered the basics if I think of something extra I will post it.

  2. Fabulous post chica.

    1. Have Girlfriends: Some chicks think it’s cute to say, I have no female friends but it’s not. There is an unbreakable bond that can exist between fabulous females. I have plenty of them!

    2. Laugh and smile: Not only does this burn calories, but it reduces those concentration and frown lines on your face. And it’s healthy!

    That’s all I got kids. 🙂

  3. Anitra Says:

    I agree Nicki I don’t think its “cute” to NOT have some girlfriends However I do think the female bond is much different then the male bond. Men can sleep with their best friends girl, run instead of helping you fight, say they aint got it when the really do (money) and as long as yall been cool since 3rd grade they will always be friends.

    With women you only have a few friends that are allow to cross the line and come back (if that). So we might have a revolving door of friends vs the ones that we have known for a life time. Plus we change and grow apart as women, which also changes the people we hang around. My friends in 3rd grade are NOT the same friends I have now.

  4. “My friends in 3rd grade are NOT the same friends I have now.”

    This is true.. I think a woman must also beware of who she calls a friend… everybody is not meant to be your best girlfriend. It’s okay to keep it light with some women.

  5. Jaci Says:

    I am in totally agreement with Nic…I actually thought of that but I needed to leave something for us to say in comments. And hey, I actually have a friend or two from third grade (mind you, I went to HS with these people too)

    I also think it’s good to show you know your worth and believe in yourself.

  6. This is a GREAT post ladies! Agrees with everything on the list, especially private time and having a vision for yourself. Write the vision and make it plain! LOL.

    Friends are important and necessary, just know they are true.

    And for God’s sake….take a NICE vacation! Ain’t nothing like really getting to experience another place in this world!

  7. 80's Baby Says:

    Great post Jac…

    But some of the things that I’ve started doing to better myself are:
    1. Not turning on the tv/getting on the internet til 8 pm. I realized I needed some me time. During this time now I’m reading the bible or journaling.
    2. I’m exercising…. I’m taking a kickboxing aerobics class and I’m starting to see results all ready. Can’t wait til I pull out my freak’em dresses. Oohhh oww oww!!!
    3. Eating better.

  8. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Great post Jac!! I agree with you Nick! Women sometimes have a tendency to drop all their girls!

  9. Jaci Says:

    “1. Not turning on the tv/getting on the internet til 8 pm. I realized I needed some me time. During this time now I’m reading the bible or journaling.”

    80s-I am working on this. I think I am going to flip my around to morning though. I get up incredibly early and spend about four hours toodling around and not getting anything done. I got to do it.

    Jada-“Write the vision and make it plain! LOL.”
    Go ahead with your Habakkuk 2:2-3…Some of the best verses for the things we are going through right now. Wait for it and it will not wait for you.

  10. Jada-”Write the vision and make it plain! LOL.”
    Go ahead with your Habakkuk 2:2-3…Some of the best verses for the things we are going through right now. Wait for it and it will not wait for you.

    Girl you know the Bib-lee got some timeless wisdom lurking within the pages. I need to get back on my reading.

  11. Thanks Holister!

    80s, I’m with you.. my me time is after 9 pm though.. i hardly ever answer my phone.

  12. Holly GoLightly Says:

    I need to establish some me time… it seems like there is not enough time in the day!

  13. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “Write your dreams for people to see…and wait on them and well…they won’t wait to come to you ”

    Good post..I do kind of disagree with the above a little, just as a vision board, dream afficionado, who manifested two cars like this. And in the process of manifesting other big stuff.

    Sometimes writing your dreams out for all people to see, can be a hinderance. Sometimes people can speak death or ill will (even unintentionally) to something you’ve written. I say if you have big dreams..the bigger they are, there really is no need or purpose to share with the world (save for the final result).

  14. Jaci Says:

    @Jada-Girl me too…I left mine in NoLA and I cannot find one in this house that’s not official and fancy…we have a Mason Bible…

    @Holly-I need you to get on this ASAP

    @CBG-I don’t think you necessarily have to write it out where they can all see. Now that’s what the Book says…but I think you can write it on your bathroom mirror and that’s good

  15. “Sometimes writing your dreams out for all people to see, can be a hinderance. Sometimes people can speak death or ill will (even unintentionally) to something you’ve written”

    This is true… I’m pretty private… so I’ll write them out for GOD to develop.

  16. Sometimes writing your dreams out for all people to see, can be a hinderance. Sometimes people can speak death or ill will (even unintentionally) to something you’ve written. I say if you have big dreams..the bigger they are, there really is no need or purpose to share with the world (save for the final result).

    Agreed. Write it down, or vision board it, or whatevs…but keep it to yourself. I have found from experience that sharing isn’t always caring…and those who you think are behind you are the ones who talk the most sh!t sometimes.

  17. miss t-lee Says:

    This is a fantastic post.

  18. Jaci Says:

    Thanks miss t-lee.

  19. Holly GoLightly Says:

    Jaci- what am I getting on?

  20. Jaci Says:

    Holli-You are getting your Holli-time on

  21. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @Jaci- I do, I just dont know how to be quiet maybe that is an only child thing… I am on the phone until I pass out!!

  22. Junior Says:

    LOVES the eat healthy and exercise…PREACH!! So happy this “thick” craze seems as though its finally dying down. You don’t have to be a size zero, or even a 10, but when you start getting closer to the 20’s, its time to start rethinking things. The end.

  23. Holly GoLightly Says:

    “You don’t have to be a size zero, or even a 10, but when you start getting closer to the 20’s, its time to start rethinking things. The end.”

    Junior I so agree with you!!!

  24. 80's Baby Says:

    So happy this “thick” craze seems as though its finally dying down.

    @ Junior… Coming from a “used to be skinny girl” it seemed like thick was the thing to be….I was too happy once I got my “thick weight”.. But now I don’t want it and can’t get rid of it fast enough.

  25. Holly GoLightly Says:

    @80’s I dont wanna get rid of it but if its gonna be here it needs to look fabulous and not sloppy!

  26. 80's Baby Says:

    @80’s I dont wanna get rid of it but if its gonna be here it needs to look fabulous and not sloppy!

    @holly.. you’re right…. I want to keep all the good stuff… Well don’t want to keep all the boobies.. Hopefully some of them will disappear in the losing process…. But it’s that lil pudge in my stomach and sides that I need to lose.

  27. Holly GoLightly Says:

    80’s it sounds like me and you got the same fight!!! LOL!

  28. Jazz Says:

    Eating healthier is one of my goals for this year. I have a bad habbit of eating junk food constantly *thank gawd for high metabolism*. I do excercise though. Got an ab lounge and my good ol Billy Blanks dvd.

    *sidenote: Billy Blanks ain’t nothing to be playing with*

  29. 80's Baby Says:

    *thank gawd for high metabolism*.

    @ jazz.. That’s the same thing I used to say…. Until 20 pounds snuck up on me…. Somehow I didn’t get the memo that my metabolism had slowed down… ha ha

  30. Britt Says:

    Great post! LMAO @ Junior. I definitely have to reiterate points 1, 3, 5. Black women don’t do that enough.


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