Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Where Are My Good Girls? February 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 10:00 pm

No, your darlin’ Nicki has not gotten fed up and started pitching for the other team (lol!).  I’m writing this for one of my homeboys. 

He’s a great guy, very intelligent, funny as all get out, handsome, and has great musical taste.  But there’s one thing, he’s losing faith in finding one a good women.  Now as you now, Nicki gives herself credit for being a good woman (excuse her while she borrow’s SBM’s 3rd person speech), and Nicki knows so many fabulous women, including you girls in my blog family. 

I keep telling him to just be patient; we’re still out there, just around the corner.  (Sorry, SBM, 3rd person speech is weird… tuning back to your regularly scheduled program now!)  We’re not all out here with multiple babies daddies; all of us aren’t waiting for a ninja to “save” us…. some of us are genuinely waiting on a partner -in-crime, a friendship that is going to develop into something beautiful. 

Where are my good girls?  I’m trying to give him some guidance.  Since I am currently presiding in City of Wack-tastical (population : 262,000), my ideas for him have been very limited.  I’ve told him to check out Starbucks, the bookstores, and grocery stores.  We all know about the cliche clubs, but I was trying to give him a little something different.  He has location going on for him, he’s in the DMV area.

Does anyone else have any more tips for my homie? Men, are you meeting good QUALITY women?  If so, where are you finding them?  Good girls:  Where are you hanging out at?

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29 Responses to “Where Are My Good Girls?”

  1. Anitra Says:

    good girls are at the book store, coffee shop gym/yoga class classy lounge (not to be confused with hood clubs).

  2. Akua Says:

    I was just going to say the gym, the park poetry clubs the library barnes and nobles, what he needs to do is kind of clearly define what he’s looking for. those good women are out there. He can run into lots on the spirit of baltimore out on the harbor that’s a different atmosphere. is he into online dating?
    does he want to just kick it or is he looking for something more?

  3. Thanks ladies! He’s into online dating, but I think he’s becoming disenchanted with it. I’m gonna tell him to come on over and check out the blog for you guys’ tips.

    He is looking for something more… I think a good friendship initially, but he definitely wants to find that right “one.”

  4. Anitra Says:

    aww him sound sweet

    I have listen to a few stories about men and online dating, its hard out there for a good pimp lol, so i feel his pain.

    good girls are also at school, always tryin to edumackate herself and im not saying like a degree school, it can be any type of learning environment. cooking class, pottery umm dance classes ect….

    kick boxing is a hype one for women these days.

  5. Akua Says:

    @nicki: tell him holla at me..he like chocolate..lol

  6. @Mik: I am thinking it’s a lot harder for the men too…. I think cooking classes is a good one too.

  7. @Akua: I sho’ will!

  8. Akua Says:

    also nicki he needs to ask himself the question/would he date himself. would he want to be with himself if he was a women, he may have issues he needs to resolve with him before he begins to pursue a serious relationship

  9. @Akua: hmmmmm, u have a really good point!!!!!

  10. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “also nicki he needs to ask himself the question/would he date himself. would he want to be with himself if he was a women”

    I agree with Akua Nik..I think being single is the best possible time for personal growth. Would you date yourself is a great question. The others are:

    “Would you want your potential SO or soulmate to see your life the way it is now? Would they be happy?

    Is your home/apt/ etc ready to welcome new love (ie, are there remnants of old lovers hanging around etc)

    i’ll be back a little later.

  11. Good Morning Comeback!!!!

    Thanks chicas.. I really don’t know if he’s thought about this… I’m passing all of this info onto him though!

  12. Jaci Says:

    I agree with Mik, Akua and CBG.

    first he needs to know if he is ready to date…by asking that question of would I date myself.

    then…he needs to go to the places where we kick it..such as the book store, gym, lounge…coffee shops…any place where little boutiquish type places are…classy areas

  13. Reign Says:

    Good advice. He also may need to make sure that he is seriously ready for a relationship and not just lonely. We all can get like that sometimes… get lonely and feel like we need somebody. But if he’s truly ready and his “house” is in order… along with the other suggestions, try some networking events or join your local Urban League or other local organizations.

  14. Britt Says:

    Hmmmm. I agree with the other ladies venue suggestions and I would say anywhere besides the typical club venues. House parties, jazz lounges/supper clubs, university alumni associations, etc.

  15. finding a good woman is like chasing butterflies…

    You’ll never catch one if you chase.

  16. Akua Says:

    @ why so…i thought men loved the chase of it all

  17. Shelia Says:

    Us good girls are everywhere…he must be looking in the wrong places or its possible he doesn’t have his priorities straight and is overlooking some of the good girls that are within his reach.

    We sometimes overlook what’s staring us right in the face.

  18. Cuzzo Says:

    This here good girl is at home, school, grocery store and occasionally target. Your friend may “see” good women and not say anything.

    We always look focused which may read as standoffish to men.

    I agree with reign, “He also may need to make sure that he is seriously ready for a relationship and not just lonely.”

    and disagree with whyso, “You’ll never catch one if you chase.” Women are supposed to stand still and let the man come to them. If we’re both standing still…

  19. “We always look focused which may read as standoffish to men. ”

    I agree with this!!!!

  20. Shaun B Says:

    The house of worship is a great place to find a nice god fearing young lady. I know plenty of women who are eager to persue a meaningful relationship with a young man who has a relationship with god.

  21. Thanks for commenting Shaun and welcome to our blog!!!!

    He’s not really into the whole church thing though.

  22. Shaun B Says:

    Well if doesn’t have a relationship with god then he will have a very hard time finding a woman with morals and standards. My advice to your friend would be to either join a cult or date outside of his race. No sane black woman would give your friend the time of day if he evens parts his lips in saying that he doesn’t believe in god.

  23. Usickenme Says:

    @ Shaun B

    I’m a dude and I notice a theme on these blogs. Now I didn’t want to turn this into a theism vs non-theism post but here’s a question: What makes you think that a woman who does not have a religion or attend church is automatically an immoral and no standards woman? It sound rather unfair as I have come across plenty of women who are non-denominational, spiritual or straight up atheist. Nothing implies that they are without morals or standards. I think you are feeding dude bad advice based on your own beliefs.

    You don’t have to respond, just putting in my two cents.

  24. Shaun B Says:

    Correction I never stated that if you did not attend church. My comment was that if you do not have a relationship with god or you don’t believe in god then it would be hard for you to find a decent woman to settle down with. In my observation either you are not comfortable in the way your life is going or you are unable to find a woman to deal with your crazy thoughts. My suggestion to you is to either subscribe to a mail order bride group…Hey they don’t care what your religion is as long as they can live in America!

  25. Usickenme Says:

    What exactly constitutes “crazy thoughts?” Such bias in these statements.

  26. Carmen Says:

    To Shaun B,

    “My comment was that if you do not have a relationship with god or you don’t believe in god then it would be hard for you to find a decent woman to settle down with.”

    There are plenty of decent agnostic/atheist women who would like to settle down with a decent agnostic/atheist man. I am one of them. I, in fact run from men who fear a god who loves them. I take offense to anyone who claims I am indecent because I’m not keen on Jebus.

    But I suppose the god-fearin’women I personally know “in the church” with multiple kids, no education, STDs and nothing to offer are better than me because I don’t attend church & give my hard earned money to some charlatan. If that’s the type you go for, more power to ya!

    Crazy thoughts? Your thoughts seem pretty crazy to me! LOL

  27. Shaun B Says:

    Well Carmen after reading your post I honestly didn’t expect anything less from a simple person with a simple way of thinking…Life is like a box of chocolate there’s always a simple person in the pack.

  28. Carmen Says:

    Wow. A profound quote from Forrest Gump written incorrectly and nonsensical. LOL


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