Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Am I Wrong? February 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — peyso @ 12:03 am

I was reading VSB one day last weekn when the topic of discussion was the drama between Chris Brown and Rihanna. We all know that generally a man should never hit a woman. However, we know that women shouldn’t act like men if they don’t want to be treated like one. I like to consider myself the model man; the prototype of sorts. However, there was one time when I was forced to hit a woman. I am very ashamed of it. I will tell the story here.

 

It was one very hot summer around my 7th or 8th grade year. I thought I was the flyest kid on the block. I had my little BS summer job that allowed me to buy all the Jordans and fresh fitted hats a 13 year old boy could want. I was able to pay to repair my own bike instead letting my dad toil over it. One day, while my bike was in the shop I asked to borrow a friend of mine’s bike. Her name was Lauren but she was more affectionately known as Moo Moo. Now Moo Moo was not your average girl. Hell she wasn’t your average big girl. I kid you not that at 13 years old she was over 300lbs and about 5’1. She was the only person with her bike outside that day. When I asked to ride it, she said that I had to give her collateral. I gave her my brand new Yankees fitted which was bedazzled with Rhinestones (pause). So I go to the store and come back. I give her back the bike and now I’m waiting for my hat. She’s inspecting the bike. This girl had the audacity to say that I broke the bike. I have never laughed so hard in my life. She thought that my 180lb self at the time broke the bike when her 300lb behind rides it everyday. She swore up and down that it was me though. Moo Moo decided that it was a good idea to ruin my brand new Yankees fitted if I did not promise to fix the bike. She plucked every rhinestone off, then she sat on it. I was furious. I picked up her bike, swung it around in circles and let it go. It flew at least 30 feet in the air. When it hit the ground, pieces flew everywhere. Tires went all directions. It really was a nutty scene. She was furious. She came to attack me but when she got up she fell. What made it worse that when she fell, I acted like there was an earthquake and started shaking. Everyone laughed her. I felt a bit bad at this point. She waddled off into the apartment building. I should have known something was up when she took the stairs to her apartment. She lived on the second floor but she never took the stairs. Not only did she go up but she came back down too. When she came out of the stair case, she was sporting a pocketbook. She was about 30ft away from me and I could see something glistening out of her pocketbook. She calls me over, claiming that she wanted to apologize about my hat. As soon as I get close enough, she pulls out two knives; a butcher’s knife and a carving knife. I run away. She’s approaching me and I’m desperately trying to avoid her. I don’t wanna be chopped liver but I also don’t wanna full out run away from a really morbidly obese woman, who was faster than she looked. She finally backs me in a corner. Luckily, my boy Gui tosses me a garbage can. I tell her “Moo Moo”, if you cross this line I’m going to hit you with this garbage can. She tests me and crosses the line. I throw the garbage can at her. This behemoth of a woman picks up her leg and blocks the garbage can. The can bounces back at me, tripping me up. I fall, she’s now standing over me and she stabs at me; only getting a piece of my shirt. I roll out of the way and now I’m literally running circles around her. She begins to get dizzy. My boy Gui tosses me the can again and I say “cross this line and I’m gonna hit you Moo Moo”. She crosses it and I repeatedly hit her with the garbage can, probably a total of three times. She accidentally cuts herself. She then called the cops and told them that I had stabbed her. Luckily, a crowd had formed by then and she was carted off to jail.

 

I have two questions for you: Was I wrong? And do you have any nutty stories like that?

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16 Responses to “Am I Wrong?”

  1. Satya Says:

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I know I shouldn’t laugh but I just choked on my soda! Now, for real. Am man should never under any circumstances hit a woman. However, any human being does have the right to defend themself. Moo Moo was chasing you with a knife you had the right to defend yourself. With that said you probablly only should have hit her with the garbage can once and ran off. If I had a son and he told me this story I don’t think i’d be upset with him. I’d just remind him to avoid such situations and next time trip her instead and run.

    I fought with a boy in 5th grade who was like 5’4 and I wasn’t event 4ft yet. I was winning too I slammed that lil mofo into the chalkboard but somehow he charged his big watermelon head at me and I fell on the floor and scarped my face lol. My grandpa picked me up from school and had a talk with the lil boy. =)

  2. I am cracking up… this story is absolutely hilarious, Peyso.

    You are not wrong…. She did entirely too much with those knives.

    Sometimes women do need to get hit back… I’m not saying beat her up and have her cowering in a corner but there has been one too many times when a woman has come up out of her sense and called herself beating a man all up in his face just because she’s mad.

  3. Jada Says:

    ROTFLMAO!!!! Man you gon get me in trouble @ work reading this fuggery! Whooo Lawd!

    *Wipes Tear from Eye*

    First of all the swinging of the bike and tossing it killed me!

    But uhhh….Moo Moo was wrong as all get out trying to come at you with some knives. Ain’t nothing ever that serious that you need to be doing bodily harm to somebody like that.

    No….men shouldn’t hit women…but if somebody (anybody or anything) is acting all aggie with you…you have a right to defend yourself. Point blank and period! I’d have smacked her with the trashcan too!

    Now I must print this and share…cause this was hilarious!

  4. 80's Baby Says:

    Hey y’all…..Now I don’t agree with a man beating up on a woman…. And I don’t agree with women getting all reckless and hitting a man thinking she can because he ain’t gonna hit her back….And if a woman is coming at you with some sort of weapon to cause bodily harm then you better believe the man should have the opportunity to defend himself.

    And Peyso in your case you should have hit that girl with that trash can….It was either that or you was gonna get stabbed.

    I’m still stuck on the part that she was only 13 and over 300 lbs… That’s soooo unhealthy.. I wonder what Moo Moo looking like these days.

  5. AnitraClark Says:

    This was the funniest story I have ever heard in my life!!!! im crackin up

    lemmie see I have a similar story that involved the only time I had ever hit a man(or boy)

    I think I was in the 7th grade (maybe 6th) it was a hot summer day and me and my crew was hanging out on my front porch like we always did in the summer. Our bikes was sitting infront of the steps incase we wanted to go to the store, im not sure if the bike was new or not but I know for a fact I loved my bike.

    So we all laughin and being silly and the boys roll up on us. These boys we always play with but for some odd reason they didn’t roll up on us like they wanted to hang with us. So the guys asked every girl could they ride the bikes to the store. I was the only one who said no because this one boy in particular I couldn’t stand.

    He hops on my bike, and its hot outside and he doesn’t have a shirt on which only threw me off for a hot sec ( he was cute but annoying as hell). So I asked him nicely to get off my bike, and he is laughin bouncing up in down on it doing hydraulics, im like derick if you don’t get off my bike im gonna hurt you.

    he still laughin and now poppin pretend willies on it. So I get off the porch and ask him once more and now im holding on to the handle bars. He didn’t move so I worked up all the power I had in my left are and swung. I smacked the hell out of his hot sweaty bare back. He was so hurt he threw my bike on the ground and ran to his house to tell on me.

    I tried to explain why I hit him but it wasn’t working. I was confined to the porch for the rest of the summer.

  6. OH MY GOD!!! Why am I imagining ole girl from Friday!!!!???? LMAO!!!!

  7. LMAO. Mik was on porch prison!

  8. Peyso Says:

    @ all – suprisingly, some ppl said I was wrong and that I shouldnt have done anything.

    @ 80’s – suprisingly she didnt get any bigger, she went to fat camp but she’s now like 25 5’4 and 300lbs.

    @ anitra – hahahahaha at porch prison

  9. Jada Says:

    Dang Mik got banished to the porch for the whole summer. Gotta hate that!

  10. miss t-lee Says:

    I read this story on VSB when you orginally posted it, but I’m LMAO just like the 1st time I read it.
    Classic nonsense right chere!!!

  11. mrsFAB Says:

    I needed a laugh!

  12. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “She was about 30ft away from me and I could see something glistening out of her pocketbook. She calls me over, claiming that she wanted to apologize about my hat. As soon as I get close enough, she pulls out two knives; a butcher’s knife and a carving knife. I run away. She’s approaching me and I’m desperately trying to avoid her. I don’t wanna be chopped liver but I also don’t wanna full out run away from a really morbidly obese woman, who was faster than she looked. She finally backs me in a corner. Luckily, my boy Gui tosses me a garbage can. I tell her “Moo Moo”, if you cross this line I’m going to hit you with this garbage can. She tests me and crosses the line. I throw the garbage can at her. This behemoth of a woman picks up her leg and blocks the garbage can. The can bounces back at me, tripping me up. I fall, she’s now standing over me and she stabs at me; only getting a piece of my shirt. I roll out of the way and now I’m literally running circles around her. She begins to get dizzy. My boy Gui tosses me the can again and I say “cross this line and I’m gonna hit you Moo Moo”. She crosses it and I repeatedly hit her with the garbage can, probably a total of three times. She accidentally cuts herself. She then called the cops and told them that I had stabbed her. Luckily, a crowd had formed by then and she was carted off to jail.

    DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN..LOL..Im dying seriously!!!!

    My beef with men and weighin in on this Ree Ree story is that they always wanna ‘Moo Moo’-itize it with these off the wall exceptions. If a 300 pound woman is going to kill you…SAVE YOURSELF…usually that means running or removing yourself prior to things escalating..particularly with a woman you aren’t intimately involved with (unless you and Moo Moo were lovaahs).

    thanks for my morning laugh..i love reading these male Moo Moo stories of women with guns, knives, trash cans, tow trucks, poision, etc.

  13. J. McFly Says:

    This is ridiculous Peyso, you sure this is real? Well assuming it is, I wouldn’t say you were in the wrong. It was a knife fight, girl or not, and in a knife fight you do what you must.

  14. Peyso Says:

    This is the realest story I ever wrote. I remember it to this day. My mom remembers it too and my grandma swears that it happen because the girl liked me

  15. Junior Says:

    Never hit a girl, but like grandma said, “If she want to act like a man, go ahead and shake the shit out of her!!”

    This was a much needed insertion of humor into my day.

  16. Britt Says:

    Peyso, I’m still mad at you about that Delta that got kicked in the chest by that Q. Tsk tsk.


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