How many of you have been in that position of trying to “make things work?” You are unhappy, you are putting in more work than your partner and still, you stay.
People subscribe to the “relationships are hard,” way of thinking… and believe it should be grueling. Or by struggling with this thing, you are going to build character and one day it is all going to turn around.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I think when you are in a relationship with your friend, the journey is more like Springtime. Sure there are some are some showers, but after they are over, gorgeous flowers will rise.
Am I also dreaming by believing that during dating, you should have fun, get to know each other and create a beautiful friendship? That after building that foundation, you commit to forming a strong relationship? And only after then, will you even tread upon the grounds of marriage? Somebody tell me!
***stepping off soapbox*** And back to the topic at hand: why do people stay if things are so bad? Why do they stay when things are so hard? So far, here are my reasons:
1. Comfort-ability: Being comfortable will keep you in a bad situation because you are afraid of change. It’s the reason that people stay stuck in dead end jobs, the reason why you stay in that deceased relationship. Or maybe you are just a glutton for punishment?
2. Laziness: It can also be a derivativeof #1. Some folks are all talk but lack the inner PUSH to go ahead and do it! You live by, “If he/she ain’t saying nothing, I won’t either.” Get off the couch…. NOW!
3. Co-Dependence: Face it, some folks cannot function outside of a relationship. It’s a weak trait and it will leave you settling for less every time. You think: “Shoot, at least I GOT somebody.” (bad grammar intended) Simple Solution: Love yourself and stop waiting for someone else to.
The greatest power you can have is knowing when walk away. “Let Go and Let God;” “Que Sera, Sera; ” “It is what it is;” all of those things. Whatever phrase works for you, take it and implement it into your situation. If you are not happy, let it go.
Folks, please start being honest with yourselves… pixie dust is nice but it’s not the things relationships are built on. Know when to fold them so that you can get out there and be ready for what is truly for you.
Sidenote: Ladies, invest in Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not that Into You.” It is truly, TRULY an investment in your well-being.
Anywho, do you have anything to add to my list? Want to tell me I’m a dreamer? What say you?