I’m reading this Steve Harvey book and I’ve learned some things I wish I would have learned waaaaayyyy back ago. I was a late bloomer, I lost my virginity at 21 years old, so I found out a few things the hard way. I’ve had a couple of heart breaks because of the stupid stuff I did…. but it’s cool now, u live you learn. Anywho, I’ve noted a couple of things I’ve learned and the mistakes they could have prevented below:
1. “No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes)…. until he’s achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you’re dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you.
This would have helped me understand that when Mr. Baltimore told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he was still trying to build a future for his daughter, that I shouldn’t have taken it personal. Mr. Baltimore always had a drive to be successful. At the current time, I was subscribing to Greg Behrendt’s declaration that when a man is into you, NOTHING will keep him away. Although this is also a good theory to go by, one shouldn’t put a blanket statement on anything. Being that I know this now, I don’t regret walking. I had more reasons than his failure to commit.
2. Don’t be afraid of asking a man what your status is.
This would have kept me from the majority of my confusion. Admittedly, after having s3x, I become one of those women whose emotions are now involved. I don’t become a “Stage 4 Clinger” or anything, but something internal happens. I begin to see that man in a different light – I am daydreaming of us frolicking in a field full of daisies while holding hands. (I’m joking, it’s never that serious).
But mind you, all of this remains on the inside. I’m too busy trying to play calm, cool and collected because of the fear of being called crazy. In my experience, a man can’t wait to find a reason to call a woman nuts. (Or maybe this is just part of my paranoia?)
But anywho, while I have all of this churning on the inside, and I’m playing the COOL of TLC, imagine my dismay when he’s not ready for something that I thought was unfolding all along. Whoomp, whoomp, wahhhhh. Thank you for playing and you may now claim your conciliation prize.
3. When a man first meets you, his primary intention is sex and how he’s going to get it.
Now, I know some of you guys are not gonna agree with ole’ Sunny on this, but I’m speaking from real life experience here. I haven’t met a man who hasn’t tried to knock my boots (throwback) or have uttered the words, “Dayum, you sexy.” For a while, this bothered me… I thought I was the exception and that I was doing something wrong. After reading this, it helped me see that it’s nothing I’m doing, just keep being me…. And after he gets to know me, he’ll be interested in more.
I know you all have some things to share. What is something that you learned later in life that would have prevented you from making a mistake early on???? And it doesn’t have to be something that is dealing with the opposite sex, share anything you like!