Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

IF I Were a Boy… March 9, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — FlawedBeauty @ 10:11 pm

***ADMIN NOTE*** Check out http://www.thismayconcernyou.com it’s a great blog!  I hope you enjoy!  And we here at SSSO are participating in the Red Pump Project!  Check it out at http://www.theredpumpproject.blogspot.com!


See that’s the thing.  I’m not a boy…so I really can’t tell a boy how to be a boy, cause I’ve always been a girl…anyways, if that’s not enough to confuse you I wanna talk about something interesting and different today.

I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday morning about different things that have been suggested in his relationship.  Anyways, I made the statement to him that if women were the ones that had to lead (by had I mean as part of the natural process) we’d be just as chicken sh!t as men are now.  Yep you heard me correct.  If any one of us women were in the position that a lot of men are in, we wouldn’t be so anxious to rush into relationships, houses, babies or marriage.  That’s right.  I’m not sure that we would be running around thinking let me do this quick, cause it don’t take all day to know anything.  We’d have PBFs everywhere.  We would go to the strip club four or five times a week.  We’d be womens women.  Nobody would worry about being lady like.  We’d fyck everything that’s swangin’ and not care (cause men would be the ones having the babies).

Does anyone see what I’m saying here about how things would be if the tables were turned?

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43 Responses to “IF I Were a Boy…”

  1. Ive said more then once that if I could be a man I’d be just a ruthless because im sure it’s so much fun.

  2. I’d be scared as all get out too. Shoot, and still can’t bring up the nerve to ask a man out. LOL.

  3. Jaci Says:

    Girl…I was having that talk…the other night with L…I was like ummm..cough cough stutter…it’d ridiculous.

  4. LOL.. While I understand their hard plight, I cannot make excuses for them. They still need to step up.. It ain’t easy being a woman either.

  5. Jaci Says:

    Nope no excuses but we should think about if we had to do what they do…could we really do it? Like remember when Ms. D wrote that post Hands that Stand…? Sure sometimes they have to stand on us, but there are some really good ones out there…do we really get it?

  6. I think we get it.. but so far, I’ve found one good one… That’s pretty pathetic in 28 years!!!!

  7. Jaci Says:

    It is pathetic and makes me wonder what the deal is with the good ones…I mean we know good ones here from the blog, but they’ve found women.

  8. Exactly girl!!! I don’t know where they are.

  9. No More Says:

    “We would go to the strip club four or five times a week.”

    Ok, now its not that bad.

    Great post Jac.

  10. Jaci Says:

    Thank you No More

    And it would be that bad

  11. Shawn Smith Says:

    Wow Jac, I’m not sure what kind of men you have been meeting or using as your example to be bad.

  12. Jaci Says:

    @Shawn-It’s not that they are bad. It’s that we as women are trying to force unnecessary things upon men and I’m trying to get us to think about what it would be like if men treated us that way (should the tables be turned)

  13. thecomebackgirl Says:

    i agree which is why men LOVE women because we ARE women. I think some of the feminine mystique would be lost if we just ran around acting like men…now there is one male trait that i have and do adopt and that is mult-tasking..but as a woman i dont go around broadcasting it. Most men can put two and two together.

    and one in particular finds out and steps his game up..too bad Im not feeling that one. LOL

  14. Dr. J Says:

    Here’s a random idea…

    Go to the strip club.

    Apparently folks think that’s where the men are 4 or 5 times a week.

  15. jaci Says:

    Lawd…dr j-that was an over exaggeration however jaci does like the strip club. Also let me add this post was inspired by a friend whom I love very much but I swear he goes to the “shake” more times a week than I can count sometimes and yes I still heart you.

    So it’s really not to say that men are bad. For some reason I feel you and Shawn took offense and I’m actually complimenting you.

  16. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Lawd…dr j-that was an over exaggeration however jaci does like the strip club.”

    @ Jac and Dr. J..a guy asked me to go recently..but thats not really second or third date activity.

    And its not like a girls night out either..those guys are going for pure se!xual thrill..thats not how i want to meet a dude tho.

  17. Jada Says:

    Iono. There are plenty of women out here taking the lead and doing the man’s job for him, hence all the mayhem and confusion. Hence all the men who’ve abdicated their leadership role. Hence the frustration other women feel about lazy men who want them to do all the work.

    Women approach men everyday. Women are always gonna be women (they will always desire security). And that is still what they want when they initiate things/ have sex w/o knowing a person / pursue relationships with men even though things are not reciprocal.

    I don’t believe women would do the same things men do because that’s just not the way we are wired. I do believe that in this day and age…and how things have progressed we are forced more to do things independantly, job/school/homes.

  18. jaci Says:

    Yes CBG Jesus be more tact. I do go with my girls but our lives aren’t centered around strippers. I do have one girl that dated one. We later found out he was homeless! And had been lying to her-he didn’t even care what she did as long as he could the night and there was NO s3x.

    Unbelievable.

  19. jaci Says:

    Jada-you make good points. Women are having to take the lead A LOT these days especially black women. And u do feel a necessity for a type of security that you can give yourself but you would prefer if a man did it.

  20. “and one in particular finds out and steps his game up..too bad Im not feeling that one. LOL

    Dang Comeback. lol

  21. Shawn Smith Says:

    Jac, I didn’t take offense.

    I think the problem with men not stepping up is because women are being picky and not knowing what they want.

    Please don’t think I’m being attacking with this one.

    A man can make suggestions but most of the time we have too bend and try to figure out what women want to keep them happy.

    Too bad we don’t have that sixth sense to read you alls minds.

  22. jaci Says:

    Shawn, you are right women do say that we want one thing and then when we get demand a complete something else. If we stopped trying to create the perfect man then life would be easier but we wouldn’t be blogging 🙂

  23. temps Says:

    Take the good with the bad-you want to be a boy-well ok if you black you are either on probation-in prison or on parole-how about you arent as qualified for jobs cause you didnt have to go to college in your early 20’s-Why? You got over on women (enablers) by being a sucker-due to lack of confidence you over compensated (and wrecked your credit in doing so) by buying X5’s and saving nothing and now your very independent girlfriend is disappointed at your lack of ambition-how about ya boys lose respect cause you dont take care of your kids?

    What about getting shot (-happens way more to boys than girls) -either by thugs or the cops (when ya looking at the barrel of a gun does it matter who is at the other end?)

    Last women always lead this point with the sex well as a man my “numbers” are low (esp for 33 and yes there are women that cringe at such a reality) so I aint one of these men out here guilt ridden over the amount of women I have slept with. I got a doc appt next week even though I am taken the HIV test with the physical I can tell you I am HIV free-I dont get it on like that. I have always felt women love the myth that men are ALL the same it alleviates pressure from women to do any improvement on themselves. I still feel more women than men perpetuate stereotypes about us that arent true. So if yall was men all yall can do is “fuck and be reckless” what about being creative and ingenious?

  24. peyso Says:

    @ temps – I read all of that but I’m madd confused now

    BOTTOMLINE – JAWNS ARE NUTTY. DUDES ARE NUTTY TOO. STOP TRYING TO PREDICT THE ACTIONS OF THE NUTTY. YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE

  25. Luvvie Says:

    Thanks you SOOOOO much for participating in the RED Pump Project! We appreciate you and the other female bloggers for being a part of this initiative to raise awareness on the effect of HIV/AIDS on Women & Girls. Much Love!

    Luvvie

    P.S. If you’re rocking red pumps today, you can upload a picture to the Red Pump Project Flickr group at http://www.flickr.com/groups/redpumpproject/

  26. jaci Says:

    @temps-hey there nice to see you. As for your comment everything you’ve said is correct. That is what I was really getting at! Do we really have the proverbial balls to stand all this? What if all that were reversed? Granted there are stereotypes about women they are not near as great as those about men.

    @peyso-thank you for simplifying things

    Luvvie-absolutely anytime and if I wasn’t rocking sweats I’d be in the heels! Also will this be yearly? I’d like to get with you on a thing or two…I’ll be e-mailing later.

  27. Hugh Jazz Says:

    Awesome and honest post Jac.

    Jada: “There are plenty of women out here taking the lead and doing the man’s job for him, hence all the mayhem and confusion. Hence all the men who’ve abdicated their leadership role. Hence the frustration other women feel about lazy men who want them to do all the work.”

    Cosign. I think part of that is because so many women settle for less, which means they have to do more in the relationship.

    Men are ambitious, but we’d rather work smart than work hard. Trifling guys will do the minimum needed to make sure his d!ck gets some exercise, but usually not more. Why work when you will take care of me, and put your child in day care, while I hang out at your house a play the Wii? As Dave Chappelle said, if a man thought he could get laid living in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house.

  28. jaci Says:

    @hugh-thanks buddy and welcome to ssso. I do think you are right with what you said and honestly it goes right back to the fact that we as women do not hold men to standards-for the men-do you hold women to standards? If you were setting the pace would you?

  29. jaci Says:

    @hugh-thanks buddy and welcome to ssso. I do think you are right with what you said and honestly it goes right back to the fact that we as women do not hold men to standards-for the men-do you hold women to standards? If you were setting the pace would you?

  30. Hugh Jazz Says:

    That last comment I made went off on a tangent replying to Jada, so back to what you were saying Jaci:

    I think you’re right, men typically are the pursuers and women are the prey, so typically women have little responsibility in dating but to sit back and accept our resumes. Women usually aren’t the agressors, so most women can’t see things from a male perspective.

    But often the burden on keeping the relationship/marriage together is on the man, which is part of the reason we are so hesitant. Well, that and the fact that we are living in the days of easy p___y, so there’s no need to rush into a commitment.

  31. Jada Says:

    But often the burden on keeping the relationship/marriage together is on the man,

    I beg to differ on this Jazzy! The burden to keep it going usually falls on the woman, who eventually finds she’s been in it on her own near bout the whole time anyway.

    Ok I’m exaggerating…but I think the woman has the burden in that.

  32. Jaci Says:

    @Hugh-I agree with what you’re saying. It does fall on the man…this is a part of the train of thinking I am going for today.

    @Jada-I agree with Hugh simply because when a woman does something wrong a man is usually more forgiving…however if a man does something wrong he has to bend over backwards to be forgiven…NOW that said…if a man isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be like really handling business a woman will leave.

    SO…I’m going to be in the kitchen working on these peas, cabbage, chicken, cornbread and strawberry cake…

    Anybody hungry?

  33. Hugh Jazz Says:

    Jada: “I beg to differ on this Jazzy!”

    Point noted, but I have to beg right back. If the woman is guiding the relationship and “finds she’s been in it on her own near bout the whole time”, that means the man stopped pursuing.

    Since the man is the pursuer, he’s the one that has to make sure the relationship is on course. The woman simply accepts if she approves what he does, or rejects him if she does not. That is why in the end, the man proposes and the woman accepts. “Man that findeth a wife”, and all.

    Jaci: “if a man isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be like really handling business a woman will leave.”

    Cosign. That doesn’t mean that the man doesn’t leave if the woman isn’t living up to expectations, but the man (usually the logical one) has to lead.

    The woman (usually the emotional one) can’t lead because if you are led by emotion, you will be unstable during trying times. You have to be in love when you don’t feel like it if you want the relationship to work.

  34. Jaci Says:

    “The woman simply accepts if she approves what he does, or rejects him if she does not. That is why in the end, the man proposes and the woman accepts. “Man that findeth a wife”, and all.”

    Hmm..I see a Bible verse there…and just about everything therein makes the woman subservient to the man. She arises cooks, cleans, sells stuff…everything under the sun out of love for her husband and children…I hate to say it but there are alot of women out there who won’t even do that…which brings us back around to the point of when men do what they are supposed to and then women don’t why shouldn’t a man be upset?

    And this is true…we are emotional …does anyone remember Hillary crying? That ended me voting for her right there…how can you lead when you’re in tears? You cannot see the vision that way..it’s blurred.

  35. Hugh Jazz Says:

    I didn’t (or at least didn’t mean to) imply the woman is subservient. In a way, the man is because he’s the one that is usually trying to do what it takes to win her heart.

  36. Jaci Says:

    Hugh: (while I wait on my cake batter to beat) No, you didn’t you pointed out a Bible passage and I simply added on to it with a passage found in a bit of a different place. I think that the man is subservient to win her heart but once he has it and she’s cooking and cleaning and babies while he’s out working (though she may work too) I think from that she does put in more work.

  37. thecomebackgirl Says:

    @ Jac ummm…bay bay bay, who you making cakes on a fast?

  38. Jaci Says:

    I made a cake for the household. 🙂

  39. Jada Says:

    @Jada-I agree with Hugh simply because when a woman does something wrong a man is usually more forgiving…however if a man does something wrong he has to bend over backwards to be forgiven…NOW that said…if a man isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be like really handling business a woman will leave.

    I disagree with this. Women are quick to forgive men’s bad behaviour such as cheating. But let a man find out his woman cheated on him…her @ss will prolly get the boot!

  40. Britt Says:

    Yup! Great post, interesting perspective.

  41. BlkBond Says:

    Just found this blog. I will be back to comment–my post tomorrow will be the man’s take on this topic.

  42. Thanks blkbond. I look forward to reading.


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