Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

I can’t & I won’t compromise on this… March 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Holly GoLightly @ 2:25 am

So I got to thinking about my former CEO and how she use to always go around telling too much of her thoughts and some of her business. She never had a problem telling anyone she was a former alcoholic and debutante party girl! She was such a glam puss Southern Belle! She didn’t look like a CEO of a financial services firm but more like what we call in Atlanta a Buckhead Betty! She stayed dressed to the nine’s frequenting Intermix and Jimmy Choo! I adopted her as my shero! I especially felt it was fate after learning she was from my hometown! Anyway after adopting Ms. Daisy as my fairytale god-mother she started taking me to private lunches, inviting me to her office for “girl talk.” Oh how I loved those fridays!! But there’s one particular conversation that I always reminisce on and that was our first conversation when we were talking about men. Or rather she was dropping her gems of knowledge on men.
I remember it vividly we were sitting there in her snow white office. I on the sofa she at her desk. She was talking about an anticipated date she had with some mogul that was coming up that wknd. She then asked me about my dating life. I told her was single and mingling. She asked me what did I not compromise on.. I sat dumbfounded unable to answer. I said a feable I don’t know, I’m enjoying dating. She said Bullshyte! You got to make ur list you have to have shyt you won’t budge on (I kid you not these were her exact words). She got up from her desk and sat down on the couch and said there are 3 things on won’t compromise on with a man! That’s a big heart, a big brain, and a big d!ck. At the time I was astonished. Couldn’t believe she was telling me this! But now 3.5 yrs later I understand and have adopted those beliefs as well as remixed and added my own meanings to them, as well as some additions!
To me a big heart is volunteering and giving back (I’m trying to do better with this but I need some help and nudging), a bif brain is intelligence the ability to teach me some things and discuss errything (lord knows I need help with black history), a big d!ck is what it is- I can’t explain, but I also need someone god-fearing, driven, and financially sound! I think I got everything…
What is it you aren’t willing to compromise on? What do you feel people make a big issue that really isn’t?

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19 Responses to “I can’t & I won’t compromise on this…”

  1. What I’m not willing to compromise on:

    1. Belief in God and working towards improvement
    2. Responsibility (if he has a child, he needs to be taking care of it)
    3. Respectful to everybody
    4. Must care about his appearance.

    I feel people make a big issue about (dang, I can’t think of one, let me come back)

  2. peyso Says:

    “1. Belief in God and working towards improvement” CHECK.

    “2. Responsibility (if he has a child, he needs to be taking care of it)” CHECK

    “3. Respectful to everybody” CHECK

    “4. Must care about his appearance.” CHECK

  3. @ Nicki- i agree completely with #3 and #4

    @Peyso- Whats your compromises regarding women???

  4. OKKK Peyso. I see ya.

    Stank ya, Holister.

  5. 1. abundance. mindset.

    I need a woman who knows that either seperately or together we can do anything in the world.

    and she gotta have a big booty.

  6. Whyso I hear ya!! Sounds like the fabolous song!!

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    LOL @ Pey and his “check”…

    for me??

    1. even tempered…before recently i had been encountering mildly bi-polar men..ive since discovered that consistancy in temperment appears to be the exception and not necessarily the rule. Most things in regards to his life should make my man smile every day.

    2. a soilder…i want somone who i can really look up to, who is inspiring and strong. Strong is often a cliche in dating and romance, but to me its imperative. I really don’t like to date men where “life keeps happening to him”. Where he feels out of control by circumstance. I like a man who KNOWS that he can affect change.

    3. Muscles..im in the gym almost everyday now. And i just think mucles are just hot. LOL

  8. thecomebackgirl Says:

    its very telling that nobody can really answer this question..but they could give a virgin all kinds of advice yest.

  9. “its very telling that nobody can really answer this question..but they could give a virgin all kinds of advice yest.”

    You have a point, mamacita.

  10. Jada Says:

    Look who the wind blew in!!!!!!!!

    1. Honor and Glory to the most High – This is important to me that a man I’m interested in gives God his props, for without Big Poppa we could do nothing.

    2. Ambition about all aspects of his life. I have been with the proverbial whiner and complainer and that ish was draining. A man with dreams and the ambition and know how to achieve them are what it’s all about!

    3. I think it’s important that he is family oriented and behind God will put his wife and family first.

  11. Comeback great list… I’ve add gym to mine repetoire since I’ve been doing it!

    Jada ur list is great too!!

    I like how we all bring things and can compile a list that is a great man!!

  12. Jada Says:

    Thanks Holiberry! An you’re right cause I can get down with Nick’s and Cb’s lists too!

  13. “Thanks Holiberry! An you’re right cause I can get down with Nick’s and Cb’s lists too!”

    That is bc all of us are too freakin fabulous. lol

  14. 80's Baby Says:

    its very telling that nobody can really answer this question..but they could give a virgin all kinds of advice yest.

    @cb… was you talking about me???? Just playing… I just hadn’t made my way over here yet…lol

    1. Relationship with God…..
    2. Financially Responsible…Just gotta make sure he takin care of his necessities before his wants and not vice versa. He can’t be bottle poppin every night at the club and then can’t pay his mortgage.. Uhhh no!!!
    3.Can’t be a settler/Must have ambitions.. If a door closes in his face is he gonna accept defeat or keep striving to find that other door that has opened for him?
    4.Family Oriented…. My family is my everything and I love them to pieces. I don’t need you to be disappearing in the bedroom whenever they come around… LOL

  15. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “@cb… was you talking about me???? Just playing… I just hadn’t made my way over here yet…lol”

    Naw I wasn’t even thinking about the regulars there were new folks who came on..im just confused as to why other people’s personal and sex@ual business is more interesting than THEIR OWN relationship destiny.

    i mean if YOU don’t know what your non compromises are..that means you never filter anybody out..that means anybody and everybody could drop into your experience.

    thats all.

  16. “i mean if YOU don’t know what your non compromises are..that means you never filter anybody out..that means anybody and everybody could drop into your experience.”

    From some of those comments yesterday, I can read that a few were young… sadly enough, they don’t have our seasoned POVs on relationships either

  17. 1. God-fearing woman.
    2. Temperament. (Google: If by Rudyard Kipling). I must have someone who can check their emotions during disagreements. I think this covers respect as well.
    3. Communication/Conversation. If I can’t talk to you for hours on end, it won’t work because I can talk to most anybody for hours on end.
    4. Appearance. That’s overall from looks to clothes to body language. They are what you are.

    @thecomebackgirl. I had to steal No. 2. When you’ve been in and out of a “situation” with someone who argues for the sake of not losing, it’s impossible to grow with that person. Nothing is constructive. And that doesn’t even get into the crazy people who can’t control their emotions. … Avoid them. They will bust the windows out of your car for actually working late.

  18. Ex Girlfiend Says:

    The topic is quite hot in the net right now. What do you pay the most attention to when choosing what to write about?


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