Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Can I Give You A Massage? March 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sunny @ 6:21 am

 

I was laughing with my homegirl the other day about the nonsense lines that men use in order to get a woman to drop trou’.  I was a late bloomer, I started being active when I was around 21 or 22 years old., so I was a lil naive.

“Can I give you a massage?”

Most of the men I’ve dealt with have given me this line at some point.  Initially, I thought it was because they recognized that I had a hard day or I was stressed and wanted to make me feel better.   After a couple of massage sessions turned to kisses on the neck, back arching, and “where’s my shirt?” sessions, I realized that this must be a book of bullshat that all men have read. 

Do you guys consistently use this line because it works, or because you can’t think of anything more original? 

Men, if I want to give you my goods, you don’t have to convince me of it. 

I’ve also been annoyed out of the poon a few times.- Aint nothing worse than a man begging for it. 

Other lines that have gotten me is:

1.  “I just want to see how wet it gets.”

2.  “Let me just put the head in.”

Men, what lame lines have you used over the years?  Don’t be shy- we’re all amigos here.  Ladies, what are some of the corny ways a man has gotten you?”

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91 Responses to “Can I Give You A Massage?”

  1. LOL @ “let me put the head in”
    How about; “You do me first then I’ll do you.” (oral sex)… I remember being told that LIE!! Since then I was sure to always cum first, ya digg!

  2. Peyso Says:

    “Can I give you a massage?” is tried and true. It works, its the go to move. Its the clutch. When all else fails and its between having sex with a jawn or having sex with Palmela Handerson, I’m pulling out the massage line. I feel confident that once you allow me to touch you, you’re not going to stop me. “I just want to see how wet it gets.” and “Let me just put the head in.” are in a different boat than the massage line. You usually use these when you already done played around and both of ya are naked but she tryin to stop the games here.

    A line that worked once in college, “Its on your shoulder so you might as well….” (I will not elaborate)

  3. LMAO CD: “Since then I was sure to always cum first, ya digg!”

    That is thee truth or he will be sleep. LOL.

    @Peyso: “A line that worked once in college, “Its on your shoulder so you might as well….” (I will not elaborate)”

    That is soo funny. I need more details on this one. Don’t be shy.

  4. No More Says:

    Peyso is right on target with his comment. I have never failed when using the massage tactic. This post brings back sweet memories.

  5. LMAO. This guy tried to hit me with the massage technique a couple of months ago. And he was over 30!

    Does it end? lol

  6. offdwall Says:

    LOL! I have used all these lines! The massage one worked, the head one worked, and the “we don’t have to do nothing, just come lay with me” worked too. LOL

    But the best line ever is “Let me cook for you.” My seared scallops or my lobster ravioli are guaranteed draw-droppers. LOL

  7. Offdwall: If a man offered to cook for me, I’d prolly go into shock, lets to the right and left. LOL

    And yes, the come lay with me has gotten me too.

  8. offdwall Says:

    And he was over 30! Does it end? lol

    That line expires when a dude hits 25. After that, it’s akin to wearing sneakers with fat laces in 1995, played out.

  9. “That line expires when a dude hits 25. After that, it’s akin to wearing sneakers with fat laces in 1995, played out.”

    LMAO. I will never look at him the same (dang, he was fine too!) He’d gotten me with it a couple of years before. lol

  10. Peyso Says:

    the massage line will never end. And cooking does automatically bring the drawers down

  11. Why don’t more men do the cooking thing? Don’t they realize the effect? LOL

    I’ve never had a guy offer to cook!

  12. LOLOL a girl I know was just talking about this

    “let me put the tip in”. It’s like a touchdown. Once you break the plane, you’ve scored.

    Also, the play-wrestle technique is flawless.

  13. ““let me put the tip in”. It’s like a touchdown. Once you break the plane, you’ve scored.

    I am in tears. And yes, u guys never stop once the tip is in.

    Also, the play-wrestle technique is flawless.”

    This guy just got me with the tickling.. since I hate being tickled, I fell on the floor and he went in for the kiss. But it stopped there.

  14. offdwall Says:

    Why don’t more men do the cooking thing? Don’t they realize the effect?

    ‘Cause they don’t know how! Burnt chicken off the grill and Top Ramen don’t get you anything but talked about. Plus, rap videos got dudes thinking that cooking is sissified. LOL I’ll be that.. with your girl… but don’t worry playa, I’ll just put the head in. LOL

  15. “I’ll be that.. with your girl… but don’t worry playa, I’ll just put the head in. LOL”

    LMAO!!!!

    Exactly. I would love it… I can cook too, but it would be nice to be surprised every once in a while

  16. I’m with Peyso… the massage line is classic and effective. I’ve also used “Can I get a lap dance?” line. If you already sitting in my lap grinding half we halfway there.

  17. SDVB: That lapdance is new to me. LOL.. so chicks have fallen for it?

  18. yep.. half of ya’ll have either taken or want to take the pole dancing class. So it’s like a chance to show what you have learned.

  19. LMAO SDVB. U got me. I do want to take the pole dancing class.

  20. @Nicki – See you gotta stay on top of womens trends and use them to your advantage… lol

  21. @SDVB: Exactly right. lol… I want my man (whoever he is) but be well entertained by me.

  22. Jac Says:

    I need to think on this, but I will be back to add something here…

    In fact, I can just about hear it in my head!

  23. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Y’all responses has me cracking up….But I guess maybe I’m just mean because this stuff ain’t working on me. This one guy is still mad to this day that he licked the wrapper and that’s all that he did…. I guess he just knew I was about to be like well since you did this then we can do that…. Uhhh no!!! lol

  24. “This one guy is still mad to this day that he licked the wrapper and that’s all that he did…. I guess he just knew I was about to be like well since you did this then we can do that…. Uhhh no!!! lol”

    LMAO. 80s I did that too.. and he was pissed. I was like, “no one made u do it!”

  25. offdwall Says:

    he licked the wrapper and that’s all that he did

    That’s bad strategy! He finished you off before he got started. LOL My philosphy in that situation is that wrapper-licking is an investment that will reap interest in the future. LOL! It’s always a bull market when that’s involved.

  26. Dang offdwall,

    U would’ve started and STOPPED? That might get u hurt

  27. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    LMAO. 80s I did that too.. and he was pissed. I was like, “no one made u do it!”

    @Nick…… Right… But when this fool started grabbing my pants…. I was like whoa!! what are you doing…. He was like I just want to kiss down there…. I was just like well, carry on!!

    I tried to stop him but he insisted…Once he admitted that he thought we were gonna have sex. I killed him like ummm why…

    But then he was like I forgot who I was messin with…. So he should have already known.

  28. Bamer15 Says:

    So hilarious.. haha

    The line that you said, #1, “I just want to see how wet it is..” hahaha… I have been guilty of using that line far too many times in my short life.

    Other lines tried, hmm… “I want to see how you taste..”

    it’s worked for me.. although normally biting your own lip and giving a fu** me face is required as well.. 😉 haha..

  29. offdwall Says:

    LMAO!! Nah, I wouldn’t have stopped. I just would have done it right, so she’d be back for more. Just like a crack dealer… the first hit is on me. LOL That first hit isn’t a freebie, it’s an investment on future earnings.

  30. “He was like I just want to kiss down there…. I was just like well, carry on!!”

    Why did this send me in tears?

    “it’s worked for me.. although normally biting your own lip and giving a fu** me face is required as well.. ”

    Bamer: Oh yes, the lip bit will get me.

  31. “the first hit is on me. LOL That first hit isn’t a freebie, it’s an investment on future earnings”

    Good technique!!!! But I ain’t gonna be able to do that for a man. I don’t know why though?

  32. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    I just would have done it right, so she’d be back for more. Just like a crack dealer

    @offdmore…. But what happens when I’m coming back specifically for my crack!!! And that’s it…. Will you ever get tired of just giving me that crack???? And nothin else???

  33. Bamer15 Says:

    Nah he would have to give you some other freebies.. 😛

  34. Bamer15 Says:

    You know a more ‘traditional’ or not so out there line that I have used at business type function was simply, “would you like to dance?”

    And you know what it actually works better if there is no one else dancing… all there needs to be is some music worth dancing too.

    Believe me there should be some after effects from this, pending on if you step on her feet or not.

  35. “Believe me there should be some after effects from this, pending on if you step on her feet or not.”

    LOL. Please know how to dance if you are asking me to. That is hilarious Bamer!

    Salsa dancing will get me too.

  36. this whole thing is hilarious, cause women want it as much as (if not more) than guys

    It does take two for a line to work, yunno lolol

  37. “this whole thing is hilarious, cause women want it as much as (if not more) than guys”

    Exactly. Which is why in most cases a line isn’t needed it. I know if I’m gonna give it to you or not already. All it takes is some kisses and the vault is open. lol

  38. offdwall Says:

    “Will you ever get tired of just giving me that crack???? And nothin else???”

    @80’s, crack is not free. LOL

    And I KNOW the ladies here have used some raggedy lines before too! LOL I actuyally had a girl tell me, “Mmm… you got those click-licking lips.”

    LMAO! I was like “Da hell is a ‘click?’ “

  39. Britt Says:

    LOL @ Peyso. I have to co-sign. I can’t say I would turn down a massage from a sexy man, lol.

  40. “And I KNOW the ladies here have used some raggedy lines before too! LOL I actuyally had a girl tell me, “Mmm… you got those click-licking lips.”

    LMAO! I was like “Da hell is a ‘click?’ “”

    That just killed me.

    I promise I don’t use lines… all it takes is kisses. If you have me up against the wall, it’s ova!

  41. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “this whole thing is hilarious, cause women want it as much as (if not more) than guys

    It does take two for a line to work, yunno lolol

    I totally agree with this lol..

  42. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    LOL I actuyally had a girl tell me, “Mmm… you got those click-licking lips.”
    LMAO! I was like “Da hell is a ‘click?’ “

    @offdwall… LOL… I would never in my life do this because I get so pissed off when dudes comment on my luscious lips… Hello, I know I have big lips… I’ve had them my whole life.. At least play it off like you have a pretty smile or something..

  43. “@offdwall… LOL… I would never in my life do this because I get so pissed off when dudes comment on my luscious lips… Hello, I know I have big lips… I’ve had them my whole life.. At least play it off like you have a pretty smile or something..”

    High Five. If I had a dollar everytime i heard about my D suckin lips….

  44. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    High Five. If I had a dollar everytime i heard about my D suckin lips….

    @Nick…Combined with my dollars we’d probably be rich….

  45. Bamer15 Says:

    Well thats when guys need to at least get creative about talking about D sucking lips by using acronyms.

    Like: Baby you got DSL, or she has ASS or something like that..

    It will get her thinking and won’t seem so obvious, hell she might even think you are creative.

    …. or dumb.. haha 😀

  46. Enigma Jones Says:

    “Let me just see how you taste” I’ve run into guys that assume that because they offer oral sex, I’ll feel guilted (is that a word? lol) into haveing sex with them. That never works, they usually leave frustrated while I am left satisfied. 😀

  47. @80s: Then we can start a collagen empire called Get Like ME (except ours are real) lol

    @Bamer: DSL will me thinking about the internet!

    @Enigma: I have def been guilted, too. So I feel ya

  48. Bamer15 Says:

    Here is a quick story that happened to me that a girl said. But it is a bit skewed as I was totally not trying to do what she thought I was.

    Scenario: I am sitting at a table drinking some drinks with her and I am about to sneeze, but I was trying to hold it. You know how you can hold a sneeze back? (now picture the face you just made… while holding it back)

    Well she thought I was trying to look at her sexy or something and she said at that moment before the sneeze, “You are so sexy when you look at me like that…”

    I half laughed before I sneezed and I ended up getting it half on her and half on my.. as I busted out laughing…

    EPIC FAIL… 😛

  49. Bamer15 Says:

    @ Nicki: Well at least if you are thinking about DSL you might be thinking high speeds?

    Could be a good thing.. haha

  50. “Well she thought I was trying to look at her sexy or something and she said at that moment before the sneeze, “You are so sexy when you look at me like that…”

    I half laughed before I sneezed and I ended up getting it half on her and half on my.. as I busted out laughing… ”

    That is hilarious!

  51. “@ Nicki: Well at least if you are thinking about DSL you might be thinking high speeds?

    Could be a good thing.. haha”

    Ahhhh, touche!

  52. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Then we can start a collagen empire called Get Like ME (except ours are real) lol

    @Nick…. Sounds like a plan… I’m wit it… lol

  53. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Here is a quick story that happened to me that a girl said. But it is a bit skewed as I was totally not trying to do what she thought I was.

    Scenario: I am sitting at a table drinking some drinks with her and I am about to sneeze, but I was trying to hold it. You know how you can hold a sneeze back? (now picture the face you just made… while holding it back)

    Well she thought I was trying to look at her sexy or something and she said at that moment before the sneeze, “You are so sexy when you look at me like that…”

    I half laughed before I sneezed and I ended up getting it half on her and half on my.. as I busted out laughing

    LOL…

    can someone throw my ashes out over the pacific..i love the water..and thats where i wanna be forever and ever amen.

  54. thecomebackgirl Says:

    dead..

  55. “LOL…

    can someone throw my ashes out over the pacific..i love the water..and thats where i wanna be forever and ever amen.”

    LMAO!

  56. Jaci Says:

    OmG..Bamer…well I want mine to be in the South Pacific where it’s always warm and minimal tornadoes…please and thank you.

  57. Jaci Says:

    Nic! We need to have him here more often..how she mistake a sexy look for a sneeze?

  58. Jaci, u are a mess. LOL

  59. Jac, u must check out his blog.. it’s really good stuff.

    I know girl. I was thinking the same thing!

  60. Jaci Says:

    @Nic-Checking now!

  61. Peyso Says:

    @ Enigma – If I’m eatin it, i’m beatin it. I’m just that confident, no need for complement.

    I’m much better than the rapper that CBG had on BlogTv that day

  62. “I’m much better than the rapper that CBG had on BlogTv that day”

    LMAO. Peyso u are a nut.

  63. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    If I’m eatin it, i’m beatin it. I’m just that confident, no need for complement.

    I’m much better than the rapper that CBG had on BlogTv that day

    @Peyso…. WOWWWW!!!! So when u gonna let us hear one of your freestyles so Comeback can say “is that off the dome”…. LOL

    [nudging Nik] I guess he just that confident….lol

  64. Jaci Says:

    “@ Enigma – If I’m eatin it, i’m beatin it. I’m just that confident, no need for complement.

    I’m much better than the rapper that CBG had on BlogTv that day”

    Wowwwww….Say Nic…*whispers* Walk up to Peyso and say “Say boy, let me ride dat face” then ride it like it’s the best thoroughbred out there…then say…ooops gotta go, gotta leave!

  65. Jaci Says:

    That’s it..that’s the pick up line…

    “Wait til you see my d!ck”

    Nic-feel this one “I guess I’ve just never had the right girl do it for me/to me”

    “9 inches toward an inner massage”

  66. “Wowwwww….Say Nic…*whispers* Walk up to Peyso and say “Say boy, let me ride dat face” then ride it like it’s the best thoroughbred out there…then say…ooops gotta go, gotta leave!”

    LMAO. OR go over there right before you have something to do… I gotta go meet my girls (LOL) but don’t tell him until he’s done

  67. “Nic-feel this one “I guess I’ve just never had the right girl do it for me/to me””

    HIGH FIVE. Yes. YES. I had a guy tell me he didn’t like his mike rocked.

    I guess he wanted me to challenge it. LMAO

  68. “@Peyso…. WOWWWW!!!! So when u gonna let us hear one of your freestyles so Comeback can say “is that off the dome”…. LOL

    [nudging Nik] I guess he just that confident….lol”

    LMAO… He need to line us up.

  69. Peyso Says:

    @ all – u think i’m gonna finish? of course i’m gonna stop right before, or when ya head rock back, im just gonna slide up in

  70. ” all – u think i’m gonna finish? of course i’m gonna stop right before, or when ya head rock back, im just gonna slide up in”

    Peyso, U are trying to get HURT. What the effe?

  71. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    u think i’m gonna finish? of course i’m gonna stop right before, or when ya head rock back, im just gonna slide up in

    @Peyso…. Still wouldn’t work with me buddy 😉 and I’m just that confident… It would be more like thanks, that’s just what I needed…. And you having a blank stare 😉

  72. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “I’m much better than the rapper that CBG had on BlogTv that day”

    Excuse me Pey…His name is Dwaney and roll the D…and put a little swag in it.

  73. Dead @ that’s just what I need.

    No, no 80s. Jump up. Put the clothes on. Tap his head and say, “that hit the spot.” and leave.

  74. I cannot believe he said roll the D. Bless his heart.

  75. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    No, no 80s. Jump up. Put the clothes on. Tap his head and say, “that hit the spot.” and leave.

    @nick… Right… after I pat his head and say that hit the spot I’d at least give him a kiss on a cheek and then I’d be out of there with the quickness….. LOL

    I cannot believe he said roll the D.

    @Nick… And don’t forget he foreign!!!!


  76. @nick… Right… after I pat his head and say that hit the spot I’d at least give him a kiss on a cheek and then I’d be out of there with the quickness….. LOL

    I kiss on the cheek after he washes his face. Sometimes they looked like that put their face in a bucket of chicken. (LMAO)

    @Nick… And don’t forget he foreign!!!!”

    He is from the west side! LMAO

  77. Peyso Says:

    @ mS. 80’s – if almost is just what you need, then you, mon ami, are not ready

  78. The massage line did NOT work on me. And I wish y’all could have seen ole boy’s face when I walked out of his house untouched. Classic.

  79. “The massage line did NOT work on me. And I wish y’all could have seen ole boy’s face when I walked out of his house untouched. Classic.”

    LMAO Jada.

  80. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    @ mS. 80’s – if almost is just what you need, then you, mon ami, are not ready

    @Peyso…. But that goes back to what us ladies were saying as far as men thinking eating = beating!!!!! I mean if you want to do it then go ahead and help yourself to it but then don’t be mad if that’s all that happens especially when I didn’t even ask you to in the first place.

  81. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    @Jada…. Hey girl… I was just thinking about you wondering where you were… Everything good?

  82. 80’s

    Girl I been sick the last two days. I’m so tired of being sick off and on. I’m finna kick sickle cell’s ass! But I’m starting to feel better.

  83. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Girl I been sick the last two days. I’m so tired of being sick off and on. I’m finna kick sickle cell’s ass! But I’m starting to feel better.

    @jada….. I was wondering if that’s what it was…Girl, I hope you to get feeling better…

  84. Feel better Jay Boogie

  85. OK, I’m mad late to this. If you read me, you know I’m not likely to use a corny line to get a girl in bed.

    The massage thing works, 24/7. But I’ll only go there with someone who I’ve been there with before who also knows my intent, and is clearly welcoming.

    The other tactic: Watching any movie you both have already seen 12 times. i.e. Love Jones or The Wood or Love & Basketball.

    Funny story that works along these lines: Once amid foreplay with an old flame I hadn’t slept with yet, I pulled out a latex condom … She stopped me and said she was allergic to latex.

    To be sure she wasn’t trying to avoid sex, I reached back into my drawer. And just so happened to have a lambskin condom. She didn’t say no.

  86. And how could I forget the play fight. It works every time. Aggression and sex go hand in hand.

  87. Bamer15 Says:

    Man I love where this thread went.. haha.. 😛

  88. Rob Says:

    I stopped the lines way, way back. I am a firm believer of the straight forward approach:

    “Look, I’ve been courting you for a about a week and a half now and I’m of the mindset that you must test drive the car before you buy it . . . so what’s the haps?”

    or. . .

    “I’m on my way over, you should shower.”

    or. . .

    “Wanna do it?”


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