Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Meet Me At The Alter April 12, 2009

Filed under: Dating,Single Sisters On... — Sunny @ 10:00 pm

 

My cousin is getting married on this Saturday (by the time you guys read this post, the wedding will be over).   I’m to be one of two bridesmaids,  which has got me thinking about weddings… so I will just compile my random thoughts here. 

1.   I was never a girl who dreamed about the day she got married.. sure, I always thought I’d be married by the age of 28 (didn’t happen YET.  I have six months to go. lol),  but I have no clue about what kind of dress I would wear, any of that. 

2.  My boyfriend asked me if I knew what kind of ring I’d want if I was to be engaged.  I have no clue.  I don’t get into things like that.. I just want to be surprised.. that it is something nice and not gaudy.  I don’t need a life savings spent on the thing. lol.  Oh, and it cannot be gold.

3.  I used to hate weddings because I’d go home alone and realize how alone I really was. 

4.  Now, I hate dislike weddings because they CONSUME a person… why come when a girl is planning a wedding, it seems like that’s all she talks about?    Kinda like when she has her first baby.   I seriously hope I don’t do that.  It’s annoying.   

5.  I don’t want to be in any more weddings.  It can get expensive and it’s stressful.   In the olden days, (way way back when), the bride and groom paid for everything for the bridal party… your dress, your shoes, your tux, etc.  Now, you have to pay for your own (which I don’t have a problem with PERSAY), but why do I have to throw you a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and get multiple gifts for EVERYTHING? 

Good grief… only for you to get me some fake jewelry to wear for the wedding which will prolly tarnish in two shakes of a lamb’s tale?  This is not cool.

6.  Because of my wedding experiences, I would like me and my husband to get married on a beach in Miami, just the two of us, and come back and have a beautiful reception that is sorta like a party.   I just can’t see going overboard when we could be planning for our future. 

7.   If I get one more email, phone call, facebook status, etc. asking me for wedding songs, I”M GONNA TOTALLY FLIP. 

That is all… who has any wedding rants?  Any stories to share?

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46 Responses to “Meet Me At The Alter”

  1. Jaci Says:

    I can’t say I have any wedding rants…

    I am just kinda sitting here waiting on the thing to happen. Most of my friends from high school got married quietly as well as the ones from college so it’s not been a very big deal.

    I don’t know though about this whole married on a beach thing Nic…I wanna be at your wedding…thanks doll 🙂

  2. Britt Says:

    It’s about that time (age-wise) for there to be a wedding every month. @ #2 – I don’t have a specific ring that I have to have but there are a few rings I have seen that made me look twice. I need one of those, lol.

  3. Oh Jac, such the romantic. lol

    @Britt: ” I need one of those”

    Yes ma’am.. u and me both. I’m working on working my act. lol

  4. mjw0808 Says:

    “My boyfriend asked me if I knew what kind of ring I’d want if I was to be engaged.”

    Sounds like ol’ boy is trying to tell you something.
    Just a thought.

    Wedding, what a scary word. I kid, I kid.
    What do you think about wedding band tattoos around the ring finger?
    I’ve seen this before, and thought it was kinda cool, but also that it was so permanent, but marriage is supposed to be that way too.

  5. @mjw0808: “Sounds like ol’ boy is trying to tell you something.
    Just a thought.”

    We’ll keep our fingers crossed. 😉

    “What do you think about wedding band tattoos around the ring finger?”

    I think they’re cool.. I don’t think I’d do it bc I only have one tattoo and it about killed me… but I think it’s a sweet thing.. or something like the symbol Beyonce and Jay Z have.

  6. whyso’s awesome thoughts on weddings:

    – I’ve always wanted to “wedding crash” like the movie. Just for fun.
    – Weddings are “meh”. For all the preparation, pomp and circumstance, it will most likely always be a letdown.
    – People concentrate on their wedding so much, they don’t even think about the actual marriage.

    chea!

  7. ” People concentrate on their wedding so much, they don’t even think about the actual marriage.”

    @whyso: I second this… I think people also don’t sit down and think about the money they are spending… my homegirl and her fiance had to move back in with his mama bc they have spent so much… they relied on some people who claimed they were paying for things but were quiet when it was time to pay… U NEVER RELY ON FOLKS. Always have a backup plan.

  8. miss t-lee Says:

    One of my best friends is getting married in June, I’m a bridesmaid. This will be my first time being in a wedding since I was 15 and my Dad got remarried. My girl, thank GOD!!! has not turned into a bridezilla. I think it’s because she’s taking it all in stride. Plus, after all the junk we’ve gone through with dudes over the years, I’m genuinely happy for her.

  9. I don’t have any wedding rants but I will say its not on my gotta do in the next year list!!!
    I am definitely feeling the wedding on the beach! Last year I told my dad that my wedding will def be a destination wedding! That way if u really really wanna be there for me u will make arrangements to be there

  10. Jada Says:

    You know Nick…I’ve never even been in a wedding. None of my closest girls are married although we’d all like to be. But I’m with you…I just need something small, simple, and sweet that is not going to break me and the future hubby’s pockets.

  11. “That way if u really really wanna be there for me u will make arrangements to be there”

    Exactly… and if you are not there, no one will be hard pressed about it… it will be like a vacay

  12. ” with you…I just need something small, simple, and sweet that is not going to break me and the future hubby’s pockets.”

    Exactly E Twin.. I just can’t see all that money coming out just for a DAY. lol

  13. @miss T: thank God your friend isn’t a bridezilla either… I am just in shock at how those girls on the show behave.. I’d have to cut someone!

  14. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    I feel you Holly…. I told my Daddy I wanted a destination wedding similar to your reasons and I don’t think he enjoyed that too much.

    I have a habit of paying attention to women’s wedding rings… I think it started when I was working in retail and I’ve seen quite a few nice ones but I have no idea what style I’ll like….

    And Nick I’m with you I want a big reception so we can dance the night away…… But my aunt is a wedding coordinator so I doubt I’m gonna be able to get away with I’m passing on a wedding…. LOL

  15. “And Nick I’m with you I want a big reception so we can dance the night away…… But my aunt is a wedding coordinator so I doubt I’m gonna be able to get away with I’m passing on a wedding…. LOL”

    @80s: Being that auntie is a wedding coordinator, that is half the trouble right there. Getting people in order.. now u can just put it all on her!

  16. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Oh, and it cannot be gold.”

    But you don’t have a clue Sunny??? LOL….I dunno either. I dont really have any rants..ive been hanging out more with my married friends lately and none of them seem that happy to me. I mean if you’re bustin your neck to hang out on Fri or sat..is it all that peachy in the land of marriedom…thats kind of turning me off for real.

  17. @80s- yea my dad was ok with it… But I will have to do a reception though so all the church members can come!!

  18. Jaci Says:

    Ooooh ok.

    On the ring thing I don’t know either really. First I wanted something nice then I wanted something small and one day I went in the store and saw something in yellow gold almost three karats (no wedding band needed) about 4k and I was like this is it!

    Somehow…that’s still where I am.

    @80s-e-mail me please.

  19. holly Says:

    On the ring I want a 2 carat princess cut in a platinum setting… Tis all. Sweet and simple 🙂

  20. @CBG: Not one single, clue. lol.. I know I don’t want it big enough to where people are plotting to cut my fingers off. lol.

    “I mean if you’re bustin your neck to hang out on Fri or sat..is it all that peachy in the land of marriedom…thats kind of turning me off for real.”

    Evaluate their situation’s though… and ask yourself, did they really get married for the right reasons? I think some people don’t realize what they are getting themselves into before they do it. It is gonna take two DEVOTED partners.

    @Jaci: CRIKEY! Fo’ Thousand, u say?

  21. holly Says:

    P.S. I like Tacori rings.

  22. See Hol, u know names. lol.. U been lookin at this thang!

  23. holly Says:

    Lol! No nick I just know what I like!!

  24. Ain’t nothing wrong with it… that just means your man won’t be sweating bullets when he goes to pick it out. He’ll have a guide.

  25. holly Says:

    Yep I believe in making sure u know what I like!! Cause I don’t want no problemos!!

  26. Hol: I worked with a girl who upgraded her own ring. I thought that was pretty crappy. How was that supposed to make him feel?

  27. holly Says:

    Yeah Nick that’s pretty jacked up!!! Dang!

  28. This was one of the couples that should not have been married in the first place. for real.

  29. holly Says:

    Ok that explains the foolishness then!! *smh*

  30. miss t-lee Says:

    @ Holly…those Tacori jumps are niiiiice. 🙂
    I want at least 1 carat, princess cut, white gold so it goes well with my silver.

  31. holly Says:

    Ms. T they r!!! I like the antique looking ones!!

  32. temps Says:

    This is one area of my life that still looks the same as my early 20’s. I still know more ppl having babies (and breaking after baby is born) than couple getting married. To date I havent been to one or invited to one-it could be I am a Brooklynite and its different up well when it comes to things like marriage and kids. But in any event marriage is not on the radar for me and it maybe this was for a while but I dont think about it-outta sight-outta mind.

  33. @temps: Do u think it would be something u were more interesting in doing if you found a good woman who wanted to get married?

  34. offdwall Says:

    Nicki, I’m with you. Save the money of a big azz wedding and impratically-sized engagement ring and put that money towards your savings account, a home, debt reduction, anything other than vanity!

    As for wedding stories, I have seen the ultimate foolishness occur at bachelor parties, and that is all I shall say. LOL

  35. LOL, Off, u can share some stories can’t ya? 😉

    I think big weddings are more of a woman thing. Do men ever think about this?

  36. offdwall Says:

    Nope we don’t think about this at all, because normally men are subjected to the female wedding duality: that is, on one hand she wants your input and you to be part of the process; and on the other hand, she wants you to dit down somewhere and do what she says because this is “her day.” So all we are concerned with are two things: Make sure dudes have their tuxes, and make sure the best man brings the ring. The end. LOL

  37. I think it’s sucky for some brides to consider it “her day.” but yes, I agree with you that they do… It’s a day for the bride and the groom…

    what does everyone think about inviting those from the past?

  38. offdwall Says:

    In my opinion: BAD MOVE. Inviting some chick/dude you kissed in 9th grade is one thing, inviting someone you had a long-term relationship with and once loved is something entirely different. The last thing you want someone exposed to the night before they commit their life to you is the dude/chick that was hittin’ it before you came around.

    I know trust and all that is paramount, but just because a crackhead may have been off the pipe for 10 years doesn’t mean it’s ok to leave crack laying around the house. LOL

  39. That is true. I know my cousin invited her ex (who was now supposed to be her “friend”) but he declined and also ended their friendship bc he always thought they’d be soulmates (or some crap).

    I don’t know if I believe that exes can really be “best friends.” I have an ex who is a friend, but some days I don’t think our friendship is a true one…. although now, he’s starting to impress me. Now, when I ask him for advice, he’s looking out for me.

    My cousin also had a stint as a lesbian so it was very possible that her ex girlfriend was going to have to do the sound for the wedding. Thank GOD she didn’t have to.

  40. I’m actually a professional groomsman. ALL my friends are married and I’ve been in ALL they weddings. When my time comes I don’t even think I’ll be nervous. My boy was like Groomzilla, that was funny.. lol

  41. Cuzzo Says:

    I dunno about THEE ring. there are several styles that I like. but, I do want a massive wedding that will be talked about for years and that other people will want to model their weddings after.

  42. Super Dave: Now u know you have to tell about how your friend was a Groomzilla. We dont’ get to see those mucch!

    @Cuzzo: Have you already put thoughts into what you’d want at your wedding, what colors you’d have, etc?

  43. Cuzzo Says:

    “Have you already put thoughts into what you’d want at your wedding, what colors you’d have, etc?”

    @Nicki

    Nope. I more think of the reception. That’s the best part. I know I want to have 2 dresses – one for the wedding, one for reception. I’m not that crazy about any particular colors – nothing to make anyone look crazy.

  44. “Nope. I more think of the reception. That’s the best part. I know I want to have 2 dresses – one for the wedding, one for reception. I’m not that crazy about any particular colors – nothing to make anyone look crazy.”

    @Cuzzo: My cousin had the two dresses too!!! She didn’t end up putting on the other but it’s a good idea… that bridal gown is heavy.. and all the crap u have to put on under it is CRAZY

  45. temps Says:

    @ Nikki, well a “good woman” is a start but I think whats happening is now my career is catching up and we live in impatient society so in school when I was more dateable I was written off or ignored cuz I apparently “took too long”.

    But now look at my life when I get free time I am filming, when not working I am well at the “day job” which is second shift 4 12-I mean who can I date in these conditions? I need a women from the business who understands the trajectory of film ppl (and all artist and entertainers).

    My man who directed his short “Premature” which is on HBO Zone was married when he entered film school well he aint no more BUT his flick is on HBO and thats kinda of the reality. Anyone at any age can get married or find love but yea when are you getting a second chance to get on HBO?

    Artist dont care about what the rest of society wants wholeheartedly, we will try but heck if it dont work we will walk away and turn our passion BACK to the art. So a good woman or man is a start but damn this is a asynchronous career, the average age of a film director is 27 (which means if your man gets on at this age yall dont see each other really at all cuz he is either now in LA or NYC).

    We peak when most ppl are hitting their “comfy zone”, kids-marriage-buying the first house. We spend that money on making films.

    Look at the ppl in show biz you admire and ask if you could actually date Idris Alba? Remember he is British does films in the USA and Africa-now think about the cast and the rest of the crew who are also in the same boat (No 1 Ladies Det Agency shoots on location and it takes 6 months out of your life so if it gets “picked up” thats your “Boo’s” schedule until show goes off the air).

    So I gotta say I do meet good women and they love what they hear and if I get a date they love how it goes but then my phone rings and it keeps ringing and now I am being asked to get my passport ready so if she is looking for quiet evenings on the reg thats not happening-I want relationship but I want film career even more. I may wind up dating a make up girl or a publicist, they have perspective about this game. If you got a girlfriend in entertainment you should kick with her and ask her about dating.


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