Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Danger, She Smashed the Homey! April 14, 2009

Though “Danger” from VH1’s, For the Love of Ray J, is a crazy b!tch, I empathize with her on the homey smashing. I too, have smashed the homey. *lowers head* I met one guy way before the other. And, I still haven’t confessed to smashing either homey (they not really that close but they do know each other). Does it really matter? Which leads me to the conclusion that sometimes people you are dating don’t need to know everything. Ain’t nothing going on but the rent between me and the long time friend, no feelings, nada, and it would only hurt the other dude to know that we once (or thrice) were intimate long ago. It’s now irrelevant and it will make me and his friend look bad. It’s a lose-lose-lose situation. Or maybe he won’t care since they not that close anyway.

Is there ever any justification for homey smashing – on both ends? Women do we want/need to know that someone we’re serious with had previous relations (just sexual) with someone we know? Men…do you want/need to know? Can the smashee come to the wedding or baby shower??? lol

Now I did grow up with a group of girls who all smashed the same dude we were all friends with. THIS, my friends, is madness. And, not just smashed, had boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with this guy. One after the next. We were all teenagers in like jr high/high school but STILL. This was kinda gross to me. It went like this:

Mimi and Titi are good friends – call each other cousins even. Mimi dates Steve. They break up. Titi dates Steve. They break up. (I don’t exactly remember the dynamics of the make to break ups but I’m pretty sure there was some overlapping or close proximity of love making between all three) . Then enter CiCi. Cici becomes friends with Mimi and Titi and knows about the relationships they’ve had with Steve. Cici dates Steve. Aye aye aye. yea we all hung with the same group of people day in and day out and there are gonna be some occassional hook ups (NONE by me btw), but this was slightly ridic. I don’t know if there were any permissions given between Mimi, Titi, and Cici that they were OK with ea of them dating Steve. I guess there was cause the girls never faught over or about him.  But, this is a teenage scenario…I don’t think this could happen at our age now. Even if it doesn’t work out with a guy, I can’t see myself being OK with my friend dating him – even if they are soul mates. If they are, they better move FAR AWAY from wherever I am, and not tell me jack about the relationship. Matter fact, we ain’t friends no more. LOL.

Do you have any homey smashing stories whether you’re directly involved or not? What was the outcome?

***In other non-related news, whilst searching for the above image I came across some blurbs that Danger (aka “ms. snake face” dubbed by Nicki Sunshine – it’s actually a tiger on her face but i digress…further) is allegedly prego by Ray J.  For once, I feel sorry for Ray and the Norwood family if this is true.  See what happens when murder someone *cough*BRANDY *cough* The day of the geechi is upon you!***


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42 Responses to “Danger, She Smashed the Homey!”

  1. I would want to know. Even if nothing is going on you would want to know if your boy has seen your girl naked. Keeping secrets like that are never cool and I’m sure it would come out at some point.

    I went out with this girl who ended up being my cousins ex from high school. It didn’t stop me from dating her but I’m glad I knew.

  2. cuzzo Says:

    There are some circumstances where I want to know and some where I don’t. It really depends on both our current relationship with whomever the third party was. Truthfully, I would become insecure if the person was still in their life in a major way. And, if the person is insignificant or basically a disposable friend no sense getting me riled up over it.

    Honey, how well do you know Steve?
    He’s in the Big Brother program with me but I don’t know him like that. Why?
    Oh, nothing. We slept together a long time ago – not anything serious.
    Word.
    Yea. And, we’re still friends that speak on occasion.
    Oh, aight.

    Is this the conversation? I don’t see the point.

    I think this would play out totally different with women.

    Honey, how well do you know Sandra?
    She’s in the Big Sisters program with me but I don’t know her like that. Why?
    Oh, nothing. We slept together a long time ago – not anything serious.
    *eyebrow raise* Oh, really.
    Yea. And, we’re still friends that speak on occasion.
    *quizzical face followed by a series of questions that can go on for days and will always be brought back up*

  3. thecomebackgirl Says:

    i think i watched one episode all the way through..i think because Tea/80s was talking about it on facebook. i saw the polygraph episode it is HILAIRE…I think we were talking about this yesterday with how “bad” girls are intriguing..this heffa i believe did kill someone or lied about NOT on the polygraph????

    off the chain for sure.

  4. true2me Says:

    my ex broke up with his girl before me cause she smashed a homie waaaay before they met

    he has insecurity issues

  5. cuzzo Says:

    @True2

    “my ex broke up with his girl before me cause she smashed a homie waaaay before they met”

    What was his problem? He thought they still had something going on?

  6. cuzzo Says:

    @CBG

    “this heffa i believe did kill someone or lied about NOT on the polygraph????”

    I don’t think she’s capable of killing someone, she might pay someone to do it.

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    oh i don’t really have any smash stories..let me ponder

  8. MDUBB Says:

    Something like this happened to me back in my college days.

    My boss introduced me to her niece and we starting dating.
    About two weeks into the relationship I found out she did the dirty several months before with an acquaintance.

    She figured it out about a week before me but didn’t say anything.

    It was obviously just a coincidence but she was scared I was gonna freak out. I didn’t get mad about her bumping uglies with the guy, but because she didn’t come clean.
    She said it was just a one time thing and I didn’t sweat it at all, me and the dude weren’t really that close anyways.

    The dude on the other hand, tried to play games and tried to make it seem like she was just another hoe he got down with. What he didn’t know was that all our mutual friends already told me how he was sprung over her back in the day and what not. Truly a buster.

    Needless to say I dated the girl for a couple years. If she hadn’t moved, we might still be together now.

  9. MDUBB Says:

    whoa, double… now triple post, my bad

  10. cuzzo Says:

    *poof*

    …ure straight now MDUBB

  11. No. Says:

    I smashed the best friend of the girl that took my virginity.

  12. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    No smashin the homey stories here…. But I would want to know…..

    Cuzzo, that was a lil harsh about the comment of her killing her someone… I thought you was gonna saying something about her faking her marriage or something… Oh, and I seen a recent pic of Danger at a club last week and she didn’t look prego to me and she had a cup of somethin….. I heard the rumors too but after seeing that pic I’m like maybe she ain’t preggo after all.

  13. holly Says:

    Lord I died at the title! I discussed this with the boo! And we both agree that if u didn’t know that was the homie then u cool but if u running around going through the click knowing good and d@mn well that these ppl r cool then u r a ho!e

    I have been guilty of homie smashing however it was years apart and never knew the 2 were knew each other, but I did NOT let the latter person know I got in with their friend

  14. cuzzo Says:

    @MDUBB

    “It was obviously just a coincidence but she was scared I was gonna freak out. I didn’t get mad about her bumping uglies with the guy, but because she didn’t come clean.”

    When would you have wanted her to come clean? There’s no guarantee that ya’ll would have even made it past 2 weeks.

    @80’s

    “Cuzzo, that was a lil harsh about the comment of her killing her someone… I thought you was gonna saying something about her faking her marriage or something…”

    celebs get away with TOO MUCH. The family of the dead person wouldn’t think it was harsh.

  15. cuzzo Says:

    @Holly

    “I have been guilty of homie smashing however it was years apart and never knew the 2 were knew each other, but I did NOT let the latter person know I got in with their friend”

    Why? Were they not that close of friends? Your relationship not that serious?

  16. holly Says:

    @cuzzo- with the 1st it wasn’t a serious relationship, but they were frat brothers so they were cool but they didn’t hang out and were def not BFFs.

  17. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    celebs get away with TOO MUCH. The family of the dead person wouldn’t think it was harsh.

    @cuzzo…. I know what you’re saying but she’s not the first person to be involved in a crash that killed someone and not be charged with vehicular homicide and she’s not going to be the last….. I’m pretty sure there is guilt there for all of the people who’ve been in a crash and someone was killed. And I just think calling them a murderer is a tad bit unfair….

    Now, if someone intentionally rams another car with the intent to kill then I think the term murderer fits…..

  18. cuzzo Says:

    @80’s

    since this is gonna be a totally different conversation…I’ll just say I disagree with you 🙂

  19. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    since this is gonna be a totally different conversation…I’ll just say I disagree with you

    @cuzzo…. And that is perfectly fine….

  20. Britt Says:

    That little song was sooooooooooooo funny. If I was in this predicament I would weigh all factors (seriousness, proximity, etc.). I don’t know under what circumstances I would just volunteer this information, but if he asked I would be honest.

  21. Dr. J Says:

    OK.. I have a story:
    I once met a girl, and saw her a TWO times, and smashed on a random note. I later met one of her friends and ended up growing an attraction to her and we started to see each other exclusively for a few months, so I smashed her too. So yes, I smashed the homegirlies.

    However, I found out later that the shorty I was now exclusively seeing smashed one of my homies before me. And then the first shorty I smashed started smashing my roommate on a regular basis.

    This may sound confusing, but if you got those three letters on your chest, this is called, “last weekend.”

  22. cuzzo Says:

    @No

    “I smashed the best friend of the girl that took my virginity.”

    thanks for that confession. I don’t hear anything about relationship here. So, did they know you knocked both of them down and was it a problem?

  23. cuzzo Says:

    @Dr. J

    “This may sound confusing, but if you got those three letters on your chest, this is called, “last weekend.”

    just sounds like college, lol. doesn’t just occur in those “organized gangs”…matter fact, yes it does 🙂 The football team, the basketball team, that organization of aspiring whatever it may be’s….

  24. Peyso Says:

    I’m late to the party and I’m sorry if I repeat but we must point out and differentiate that this is much different than a train or a JO or anything like that. This is a one night stand or a relationship. In high school this phenomenon was quite popular. Mostly because most dudes didnt have enough game that they could get to the vagstache w/o being in a relationship. We all knew who was the few joints that was doing the horizontal tango, so we dated them and then they dumped us and we moved on. In college, as relationships became more serious this phenomenon occured less often but it did it happen. It wasnt too rare to see one dude dating a chick his sr year that his man had beat freshman yr. I think now as an adult, I just dont wanna be the laughing stock of any room I walk into it. I also have a rule that any man that has seen my chick naked cannot come to the wedding. I think thats fair.

  25. cuzzo Says:

    @Peyso

    “It wasnt too rare to see one dude dating a chick his sr year that his man had beat freshman yr.”

    Did the fellas converse about this? Like ask each other if it was OK to date chicky?

    “I also have a rule that any man that has seen my chick naked cannot come to the wedding.”

    True. I just got a flash of the scene from “The Best Man” (or was that the brothers….or the wood, lol)

  26. I’ve smashed the homies without knowing it though. Basically I had a crush on a guy from hs we got older and started messing around after undergrad. It was just the physical mostly. I met someone a month or two in and started dating him. Months later I was still physical once in a blue with the first dude and was just kissing the dude I was dating on the way to a relationship when I found out at my grad school relationship party that they both came to knew each other. My sister saw them say whassup to eachother and chat for a bit at the bar. I stopped seeing the first guy immediately and mentioned to the guy I was dating that i knew the first guy from hs and that we had even messed around awhile. Till now I think he believes we briefly dated in hs… and not a couple weeks before I told him. I told the first guy I was seein someone I liked and he knew him and that we had to quit it. He found out who he was after me and the guy broke up. They aren’t good friends jus hi and bye acquaintences so it wasn’t to much of a big deal… oopsy?

  27. FYI:… and any friend of mine who dates that X has been forwarned that our friendship would officially be over. If they are soulmates much love to them but I don’t want invites to the wedding or the baby shower…

  28. No. Says:

    @Cuzzo: thanks for that confession. I don’t hear anything about relationship here. So, did they know you knocked both of them down and was it a problem?

    They both know. The friend was mad at first but she got over it. No relationship, just smuttin.

  29. true2me Says:

    cuzzo

    he got real insecurity problems…thats all I can say
    lol

  30. true2me Says:

    my friend’s highschool sweetheart came at me. He got a baby by her and everything, said they not together no more

    LIES

    and my cousin old smash (they smashed one time it was wack according to both) tried to smash me

    ill..its gross to me

    I dont want leftovers

  31. inakeS Says:

    Man…….my girlfriend in high school did me dirty like this. I was making beats for this kid and chilling with him and his whole team…….Turns out he and my girlfriend had already made music together. I was hurt but got over it. Definitely is a small contributor to trust issues that I still have. Always better to tell……..

  32. cuzzo Says:

    @True2Me

    “my friend’s highschool sweetheart came at me. He got a baby by her and everything, said they not together no more

    LIES”

    how’d you find out he was lying? If he wasn’t lying and it really was over, would you??? lol

    oh wait…here’s the answer :
    “ill..its gross to me

    I dont want leftovers”

    @inakeS

    “Turns out he and my girlfriend had already made music together.”

    clear this up for me….she confessed that she slept with dude (before u guys became serious of course)? If so, what hurt you? the timing? If not, how’d you find out?

    “Definitely is a small contributor to trust issues that I still have. Always better to tell……..”

  33. inakeS Says:

    @cuzzo “clear this up for me….she confessed that she slept with dude (before u guys became serious of course)? If so, what hurt you? the timing? If not, how’d you find out?”

    Man……her friend told me that the two of them used to “kick it” after I was already hanging out with this kid. I was new in town and didn’t really know anyone. Definitely felt like my girl should have told me when she knew that I was hanging with him and his crew. The sad part is that she was with me a few of the times we all hung out………..lesson learned. I guess what hurt was everybody knowing what was going on and me being clueless. Not a good look.

  34. cuzzo Says:

    @inakeS

    “her friend told me”

    me and this friend would have had to have a SERIOUS talk if i was the girl, cause that wasn’t her place….maybe she was tryna get at you and make her girl look bad. ol’ trifling @ss. anyway…lol

    What was ure (then) girls’ excuse for not telling you?

  35. inakeS Says:

    @ cuzzo

    “her friend told me”

    “me and this friend would have had to have a SERIOUS talk if i was the girl, cause that wasn’t her place….maybe she was tryna get at you and make her girl look bad. ol’ trifling @ss. anyway…lol”

    Lol, her friend did try to get at me but I wasn’t feeling that. Tried to remove myself from that entire circle of people. Her excuse?? She had no excuse except for the “Well….sorry!” She wasn’t a really nice person. Nowadays, I just expect a little courtesy. If a woman knows that she’s seen one of your boy’s bedspread, gotta let your dude know. Chances are he’ll get over it and you risk losing him if he finds out on his own.

  36. cuzzo Says:

    @inakeS
    “her friend did try to get at me”

    I KNEW IT…a bum b!tch.

    “Chances are he’ll get over it and you risk losing him if he finds out on his own.”

    Does it matter if the homey is just his acquaintance? Would it have been different if you just made the beat for dude and didn’t hang with him, just business? Would you have liked to know then?

  37. inakeS Says:

    @ cuzzo

    “Does it matter if the homey is just his acquaintance? Would it have been different if you just made the beat for dude and didn’t hang with him, just business? Would you have liked to know then?”

    I was young so it probably wouldn’t have mattered if it was business or not and I would have been mad. Being older, i guess it kind of depends on the type of guy a woman is dealing with. If he’s the jealous type then you’re rolling the dice either way. Telling him or not telling him is a coin toss on what’s going to happen. If he’s secure and the love is there, then it won’t matter if he’s a close friend or casual acquaintance. My suggestion is to think about all of the scenarios that could play out if you don’t tell your dude. If none of those scenarios end up with someone putting a hole in the wall or throwing their iPhone, then keeping quiet is cool. If there is a chance of hurt feelings, be honest.

  38. Darth Humble Says:

    It’s funny how it’s usually women that end up smashing 2 dudes that know each other. How is it that this usually happens to women more often than men?

  39. Howie Do It Says:

    You are all some whorish, homie-smashing bitches.

  40. kionnah Says:

    hi ray j i sdanger really pregnant i think u should take a chance with her yea she is kinda mean but in her inside i think she loves u and she probably do so jus from me jus give it a try and u was at her baby shower thats wat people was sayin but yea shes a preety girl and give it a try to see if it works out..

  41. JayJay Says:

    I have first hand experience with this on both sides of it. I’ve smashed a homegirl. However, I let this be known in the beginning. However, that was just a one or two time thing at most. She even went on, got married, had children and lived happily ever after.

    On the other hand, I had a woman (I’m being nice by calling her that), that smashed a dude in my frat before I started dealing with her. I saw some questionable pictures that she had of him, and I asked her if she had ever been intimate with him, and she tells me no. I know that if i wanted to, I could have asked my frat brother and he would have been totally honest down to the color of her draws. But I give her the benefit of the doubt (or at least make her believe that). Then one day, while me and her are dealing with each other, she drives 120 miles to sleep with him, and she calls me from there, like she is at home. She got herself caught up in a lie with me that would lead me to find out she went somewhere else. After a few months she eventually confessed. This was once she got attached. But I would have the last laugh playing with her head and with the relationship for a whole year before giving her the boot. It was great having a girlfriend that you could fool around on, and not care of the reprecussions. It was also great knowing that she was all broken up after the relationship was over, but I was having fun with tons of chicks the whole time. If she would been a REAL WOMAN and been honest from the jump, these actions may have been forgiveable. But since she lied to protect herself, and not look like the hoe she was, I played her like the one she is…


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