A while ago, Jaci posted a beautiful tribute to black women in her I Love Black Women- Yaya Edition post. Very recently, the following comment was posted within that tribute by “Tim”:
If Black women are so strong, why are they No. 1 for out-of-wedlock births? HIV-AIDS? This country was built on their backs? I beg to differ – this country is going to hell because they spend too much time on their backs.
Why? And. don’t play the blame game when you answer.
What I don’t understand is how a tribute to black women can inflame a person so much to where they totally lose focus of the reason for the post. When Jaci wrote the post, she was not downing any race- she simply wrote about her love for black women.
I’ll have to admit, after I read this comment, initially I was pissed and wanted to delete it, but in a country of free speech, Tim has the right to feel exactly what he wrote. Here’s my response below.
I am very well aware that by your questions, you are attempting to put black women down. I don’t think you sincerely want your questions answered but I will attempt them here.
First of all, your question regarding a black woman’s strength and out-of-wedlock births and HIV-AIDS is completely irrelevant. One topic has NOTHING to do with the other.
But to answer your question, I researched and tried to find the answer to your question. What I found was, whites have the highest rate of abortion. Take a look here: http://www.abortionfacts.com/statistics/race.asp. If black women started aborting more babies, perhaps we’d have a lower number of ‘out-of-wedlock births.” Is this the response that you are looking for? I am not trying to point a finger here, but you asked a question and I am simply answering.
As to why black women are ‘No. 1 for… HIV-AIDS,’ I do not know. Maybe you should find a woman who has been infected and asked her how she contracted the disease. As an entire nation, we should not be focused on why black women is infected more (in an attempt to point fingers), but instead on how we can prevent this.
You asked us not to play the blame game in answering, but I believe that YOU should not play the blame game in asking. Your questions are clearly blaming black women for the nation’s shortfalls.
When Jaci stated that the country was built on a black woman’s back, she was speaking the truth. Tell me, who picked the cotton and were the agricultural laborors of the nation? Who raised the white children? Black women served as ‘mamies’ and maids as well as came home to raise their own families.
Single Sister Speak Out is a blog of love- of all races, sexes, etc. Please remember this the next time you decide to grace us with your presence. Sure, we all believe in freedom of speech, but there is no need to disrespect anyone. This is not that kind of forum.
And please, do not refer to me as “brown sugar” again.
Nicki “Sunny” Sunshine
I cannot answer WHY anyone makes the decisions they make regardless of their race, if that is what the Why part of the question was referring to. If it is a fact that black women are the leaders in out-of-wedlock births and HIV/AIDS (which I believe the skewed stats are talking about NEW cases alone), we ARE and REMAIN so strong because we endure these setbacks and STILL live our lives and provide for our families. How about we look at suicide rates? I have no idea which race leads those categories but I would have to guess non-black. What does that say about those people? They are NOT strong and DO NOT know how to endure or fight the good d@mn fight even while their name is being dragged through the dirt.
This comment was upsetting at first but now I find it rather comical. Why? It points back to my last statement. Even though our names, our race, our heritage, our strides, our struggles, our strengths continue to be dragged though the dirt and get poo poo’ed on…we still remain strong. I am a part of that group that has an out-of-wedlock birth. My child and I want for nothing and do not get taken care of by any government. I do what I have to do for us all the while getting side eyed and getting talked about. I doubt black women even knew what post-partum depression was until some white lady went and drowned all her kids in a bathtub.