Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

She’s Come Undone May 5, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 1:24 am
Strength,  Courage and Grace

Strength, Courage and Grace

***ADMIN NOTE: I am not in town.  I will be on vacation starting today until Monday, if any of you need me there will be e-mail and I will be watching but I may not comment.  Remember I love you all.  Be safe, be careful, and be carefree (for at least an hour :))

After yesterday’s commenter spotlight, I was left with ruminations of the lady who loves the fallen angel more than she loves herself.  Many of you, in fact, maybe all of you will not know what that means, but I am going to explain (at least to a certain extent).

With it said and understood that the country was built on the backs of black women, I want to know where these black women go for strength.  Now the answer of this lies in a conversation I had last night.

Here’s a snippet:
Man: Women can be sooo independent.

Me: This is true, I don’t necessarily need one.

Man: Maybe not financially and maybe not anything else, but you will always need one emotionally and physically

This got me to thinking whether or not he is right and then May 4 came along.  During the course of this day I have realized that yes I do need a man.  I need him for what makes him a man from strong arms to long sessions of lovemaking to lifting the groceries upstairs.

And I am wondering, I mean really wondering, if there’s someone out there who feels what I’m saying?  Does anyone have that person (of the opposite sex) that they can melt with?  When you’ve come undone, you know they don’t mind putting the pieces back together?  Is that an important component of the relationship or would you both rather be to independent beings?

I need your interepretation of the situation.

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16 Responses to “She’s Come Undone”

  1. I know what you mean and I am there. I have that man who allows me to be vulnerable and soft “green” (bc I cannot do pink. lol) and emotional and he loves me in spite off all of that.

    Initially, I don’t think I would have said I need a man, but as Day 26 says, “and when the walls start closing in, then there’s you…” Who’d have known that one person can make me feel as much peace as I feel with him.

    I am so thankful that I’ve got that. I think it’s an important attribute to have in a relationship.

  2. Shawnta` Says:

    I love this post! I feel what you’re saying. I couldn’t imagine not having my husband to balance me out. He’s definitely my strength when I’m weak or down. I love my conversations with him. We talk about anything, everything and nothing. I enjoy engaging his mind and just getting a man’s perspective on things. It’s strange because I’ve never felt like I didn’t need a man. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never felt like I couldn’t be alone and HAD to have a man at all times but I knew that ultimately I wanted to be married. I appreciate having him in my life and I try not to take it for granted.

    @Nicki: I agree, there’s nothing like having a man that is balanced enough to allow you to express your genuine emotions and be vulnerable when necessary.

  3. Peyso Says:

    awww look at ya all soft and sh*t lol

  4. LMAO. dang Peyso, shows us your softness. I know you over there basking in the newness too!

  5. thecomebackgirl Says:

    ” Does anyone have that person (of the opposite sex) that they can melt with? ”

    melt with??? for some reason this made me hungry and now im thinking about cheese .

  6. Shawnta` Says:

    @Peyso and @CBG: Funny.

    @Peyso: If what Nicki said is true, the newness of it is the best. 🙂

    @CBG: Cheese? Hilarious.

  7. Peyso Says:

    @CBG – when you get hungry, u think of cheese? just cheese? not cheese on anything else, just melted cheese?

    @ Nicki – I am a big softee but you aint her so you dont get to see it lol jk

  8. LOL. Peyso we family up in here!

  9. All this cheese talk has me thinking of Urkel.

  10. Cheekie Says:

    Jaci – “Man: Maybe not financially and maybe not anything else, but you will always need one emotionally and physically”

    Things that make ya go hmm.

    ‘Tis true. Those are things you can technically provide for yourself, but it ain’t the same, of course. Maybe I have a problem with the word “need” because I attribute to something I can’t live without. I’ve handled the lack of a man for long periods of time (currently doing that now) and I haven’t wanted to kill myself, so I’m not comfy saying “need”. I mean, I can go about my day and survive without one. Maybe “yearn for” is a better term? lol

  11. “Maybe “yearn for” is a better term?”

    Cheekie, I can go for ‘yearn’.

  12. Rob Says:

    @ Cheekie: I’m always amazed how much we’re scared to say we “need” someone one. but we can say I need other stuff all the time: I need new shoes, I need a vacation, I need a break from you! LOL. Yet feeling like you need someone in your life that is of value to your life is tabu.

    @Jaci: I sure do have someone like this(http://bewareofcrazythoughts.blogspot.com)! But I’m not gloating.

  13. Cheekie Says:

    @Rob – Ya know, actually, I try to be careful about saying “need” for trivial things, too. But I feel you, it is definitely easier to say “I need a vacation” than “I need you”. And the “why” of it all is very interesting.

  14. Rob, I like this blog of yours.

  15. Shawnta` Says:

    @Rob – nice blog. I’ll be checking it out more often.

    @Cheekie – I can understand the hesitation to use the word “need”. It is a bit scary at first and definitely opens you up as being vulnerable when you realize you need someone and can make you even more vulnerable when you actually communicate this to that someone. But I agree with Nicki, if using “need” is uncomfortable, “yearn” is a good alternative.

  16. “definitely opens you up as being vulnerable when you realize you need someone and can make you even more vulnerable when you actually communicate this to that someone.”

    I agree and that vulnerability is a scary thing.


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