Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Change is Good May 12, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — Sunny @ 6:47 am

 

Change has come my way in a few forms lately- new boyfriend, new dreams, new hair (lol!).  I am okay with change because it shakes up my usual plateau life. 

Change can be good but people are scared of it… why? 

What big/small changes are you anticpating?  Are you scared? What worries you about it?  Share.

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98 Responses to “Change is Good”

  1. Shawnta` Says:

    Change is inevitable but change can definitely be good. At times I fear change because it is a break from the familiar. Change takes me out of my comfort zone & challenges me to step it up. I try to embrace change but sometimes the embrace comes after first resisting & prolonging the inevitable. Hmm…a big or small change I’m anticipating? Starting a family within the next year or so. It’s exciting but scary. 🙂

  2. “Starting a family within the next year or so. It’s exciting but scary. ”

    Aww, congratulations Shawnta’. That’s a big step and I’ll keep you and your husband in my prayers.

  3. peyso Says:

    I’m fittin to have a crib in the next week or 2. That’s exciting. And this law school shiznick is slowly working its way into fruitition.

  4. Congratulations Peyso. I didn’t know you were gonna do law school.

  5. peyso Says:

    Nicki – I’m chasing these dollars. I dont ever wanna budget

  6. @Peyso: I feel you on that. And with all these criminals, we are gonna need you lawyers (and me to lock them up!)… 😉

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    i would have to say my body. my arms are starting to get that little cut. and im becoming addicted to the gym and i get those little endorphin highs people are talking about. Its actually a little buzz you get after.

  8. @comeback: I’m proud of you for sticking with it… Remember Angela Basset’s arms in What’s Love Got to Do With It? Is that waht you’re trying to go for?

  9. Shawnta` Says:

    @Nicki: Thanks for the prayers. The changes in your life are exciting too…a new man, a new look & new dreams.

    @Peyso: Law school is definitely a different kind of beast but definitely one that’s tameable. You’ll do well. Home ownership is a big step but an exciting one. We still rent but are seriously getting things in order for the purchase of our first home.

    @CBG: Good for you! I’m trying to get there. I am starting to enjoy the gym more (now that I’m making a comeback) but I’m not to the point where I’m addicted to it. I want to get there though. You’re right the endorphins released during & after a great workout…euphoric, some even say orgasmic. 🙂

  10. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    I don’t know why people are afraid of changing… I love the idea of embracing something new…….

    @Nick…I just spent some big money purchasing some hair on Sunday….. I’m gonna get a sew in on Saturday…. I wanted something different for the summer while I’m letting my cut grow out….

    Have you got your hair yet???

  11. Thanks Shawnta’. I most certainly am excited.

    @80s: I feel that. yes, ma’am.. I got it and got it sewed in last night. There are pics on facebook.

  12. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    @80s: I feel that. yes, ma’am.. I got it and got it sewed in last night. There are pics on facebook.

    @Nick…. Girl, I can’t access facebook from here… I’m gonna have to check it out when I get home…. Are you likin it????? Do you feel comfortable with it?

  13. @80s: I get ya. Well, it hurt like Hades getting it sewn in. And it’s too long for me. She did a good job but I’m gonna have to have my sister cut some more off.. it’s seriously down my back. I had no clue about how to sleep with it.. I tried to wrap it and it kept falling so I just stuffed it under bonnet. lol

    What do you usually do with yours?

  14. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    @Nick… What length did you get? 14 inches???? LOL When I was wearing a straight one I would just usually wrap it…. You might want to try bobby pinning sections to hold it up while you’re trying to wrap it…… But the last one’s I wore have usually been curly and whenever I put on the bonnet I thought it smashed the curls so I usually just sleep pretty…. LOL I’m going for the wet/wavy on Saturday so we’ll see how this goes….

  15. @80s: Sleep pretty? Aw naw.. I quit doing that in the finger wave days. lol. Yes girl, I have 12 and 14″. I had no clue about the hair lengths and stuff. When I asked the girl at the store, she claimed this was gonna put me a lil lower than my shoulders .And she was a sista! lol. THanks for the tips… This girl I used to hang out with used wet/ wavy.. it seemed to be pretty easy to handle.

    I got some hot rollers last night but they weren’t working right so I put the flat iron in it… I ended up looking like a friggin Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. lol

  16. peyso Says:

    @cbg – when u gonna show us some pix?

  17. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “euphoric, some even say orgasmic. ”

    im not going that far LOL….but its close.

  18. thecomebackgirl Says:

    @cbg – when u gonna show us some pix?”

    soon..maybe.

  19. Shawnta` Says:

    @CBG…funny. I know. Right?

  20. Streetz Says:

    I got used to this one chick, but i need to switch up for this next shorty. Fatter booty. I fear change because the pum pum is that good, but I welcome the change with open arms and look forward to what my next ms Fat Booty will provide!

    Seriously, when it comes to new opportunities, new people in your life, or challenges that will benefit you, we fear things we dont understand. We fear the unknown. We fear change because it disrupts the monotony and comfort of the life we know, but we can’t evolve and advance without change.

    While I may fear change at times, I look forward to and embrace it, because i know if can lead to bigger and better things!

  21. @Streetz: “We fear the unknown. We fear change because it disrupts the monotony and comfort of the life we know,”

    I agree. The thing about fear, (as you also touched on it), is that it can limit you from much better.

  22. Britt Says:

    I’m moving! I will be living alone, without a roommate, for the first time ever. I am SUPER excited!

  23. Britt, that was a GREAT move. You can walk around nakey and everything. lol. I love it.

  24. Streetz Says:

    ^^^

    freaks, lol

  25. “freaks, lol”

    LMAO.

  26. true2me Says:

    i love change, its exciting.

    I started wearing my hair natural..dont know how long im going to do that

    I gained weight too and it looks great on me

    i maaaaaaaaaaaaaay be reconciling with my ex…dont know why….I do actually…but I’m embarassed

  27. True, I don’t think there’s nothing to be embarassed about.. the heart wants what it wants.

    ” started wearing my hair natural..dont know how long im going to do that”

    This is what I am working on.

  28. “True, I don’t think there’s nothing to be embarassed about.. the heart wants what it wants.”

    Additionally, I think we’ve all done it.

  29. Cuzzo Says:

    I got engaged last week and I anticipate being married some time next year. I ain’t nevah scared!

  30. Cuzzo, shut up!!!! I had no clue. Congratulations girl. How did he do it?

  31. Cuzzo Says:

    “Congratulations girl. How did he do it?”

    thanks. girl, all wrong! lol well, not like the movies. long story short…he showed me the ring, I started putting it on my right hand, he said wrong hand, I put it on the left and said to him if this means what I think it means….you haven’t asked me right. He asked will you marry me….yes. *tada*

  32. It’s still sweet Cuz. I’m so happy for you. Do you want a big wedding?

  33. Cuzzo Says:

    I’m in between. I would like big but what’s realistic (and affordable) would not warrant that.

  34. Bamer15 Says:

    Late to the party again.. sorry.

    But I have a career change coming up soon, and I am torn between left and right, but I know both will work out, making it perhaps harder??

    Anyways, I am a big believer in the way that it WILL be ok and work fine. 🙂 And I will work to make it so anyways… so all avenues covered. MUWAHAHA!

  35. No. Says:

    Congrats Cuzzo!

  36. Cuz, I know what you mean.. there is no use for going broke for just a day!!!

    @Bamer: “Anyways, I am a big believer in the way that it WILL be ok and work fine”

    Me too.

  37. Cuzzo Says:

    Thank you “pimp C” lol. (is that you no mo?)

  38. thecomebackgirl Says:

    Congrats…!!! weren’t you talkin mad shyt about love just two months ago tho???

  39. Cuzzo Says:

    @CBG

    lol. idk….probably. don’t I talk mad sh!t about everything all the time? you might be thinking about the soul mates stuff…i still don’t believe in soul mates….u can make it work with a lot of people.

  40. peyso Says:

    congrats and shiznic

  41. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks peyso. where you moving to? another part of bk?

  42. peyso Says:

    cuzzo – maybe even harlem

  43. Cuzzo Says:

    @Peyso
    woah now…u crossing the bridge, lol. is ure girl from Harlem? I hope you love her cuz she can’t compete with us…we mad fly. (j/k…or am i?)

  44. Shawnta` Says:

    @Cuzzo. Congratulations & best wishes! Enjoy every moment…the engagement phase really is a sweet and exciting time.

  45. Shawnta` Says:

    woah now…u crossing the bridge, lol. is ure girl from Harlem? I hope you love her cuz she can’t compete with us…we mad fly. (j/k…or am i?)

    @Cuzzo: This makes me think of Charles Hamilton’s song…”Brooklyn Girls” 🙂

  46. Isn’t there an old song called Brooklyn Queens or some’n?

  47. No. Says:

    Thank you “pimp C” lol. (is that you no mo?)

    Yep.

  48. Jaci Says:

    I’m all late, but I’ve been reading and I am just in time to be the 4700th comment.

    Anywhoo…I am making the change as well. I am going to be making New Orleans my permanent home as well as becoming a little more independent as well as making a comeback in love and in happiness.

  49. Jaci Says:

    Also, No. I will need to be speaking with you today sir.

    *After I get my Chinese food and a pop.*

  50. peyso Says:

    @ Cuzzo – She’s from Queens and she doesnt like the move lol

  51. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks Shawnta. I will enjoy my engagement to the fullest. People already asking about a date. I’m like, he just proposed Thursday! lol. I’m not thinking about a seating arrangement, a place, NADA. But, I do know I want a choreographed rendition of “Remember the Time” performed at the reception. You heard it here first folks! Don’t be tryna steal my idea, lol.

    @CBG – you said something once about a man needs to love/want you more than you him and I disagreed with you then…I must take that back and say YOU WERE RIGHT 😉

  52. Shawnta` Says:

    @Jaci: Congrats on the relocation. Will you be in New Orleans in time for the Essence Music Fest? Comebacks are great! Good luck.

  53. Cuzzo Says:

    @ Shawnta & Nicki

    also, idk anything about a “brooklyn girls” or bk queens song.

  54. “I do know I want a choreographed rendition of “Remember the Time” performed at the reception. You heard it here first folks! Don’t be tryna steal my idea,”

    And Cuzzo, I will need a video of that STAT… like email it on your honeymoon, stat. lol

    Good deal on the move up, Jaci

  55. Shawnta` Says:

    @Cuzzo: Here’s the Brooklyn Girls song.

    @Nicki: Will you use this link to post the video? I’m not sure how to do it. Thanks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FyvGvV2mXs

  56. Shawnta` Says:

    @Nicki: Never mind. I think that worked – LOL. Thanks!

  57. No prob, Shawnta… that old music took me back. lol

  58. Shawnta` Says:

    @Cuzzo: Yup, just take the time to enjoy it (regardless of whether you & your fiance` want a short or long engagement). Also, don’t let folks start worrying you w/details too soon, you’ll be frenzied with all of that in due time. By the time our wedding day came, my husband & I seriously questioned why we didn’t elope. 🙂 We even considered not going to the reception and just taking off early for our honeymoon but knew our mothers would have killed us. LOL.

  59. Cuzzo Says:

    @Nicki

    couldn’t play it. But 3rd Bass…for real, lol. that’s taking it wayyyyy back.

  60. Cuzzo Says:

    @Shawnta

    did you plan everything yourselves? I like planning but I want a planner. I can be a little too meticulous with stuff and will end end doing everything myself cause I don’t trust ppl to do it as well as I would.

  61. Rob Says:

    @cuzzo: if you always wanted a big wedding . . .and can afford to do so (that is the operative phrase) . . do it. i was complaining at first and spent a bundle but i check out the wedding website weekly still on some . . .man, i’m glad we did it up like we did. but like shawnta said, I was wore out afterwards.

  62. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Congrats on the engagement Cuzzo!!!!!!!!

  63. Cuzzo Says:

    @Rob
    when you say you check out the wedding website, you mean you check out your wedding on the site compared to other weddings?

  64. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks 80’s 🙂

    @Shawnta – I never heard the song before just now and I couldn’t listen to the whole thing cuz it’s all lies, lol. NOTHING LIKE A BK GIRL??? please, lol. I kinda get where he’s coming from cuz if he’s anything like me, I didn’t date ppl from my neighborhood.

  65. Rob Says:

    that too. but really, on the reminiscing tip. I always go look at the wedding photos and what not there when I start thinking about how much we spent and then I’m like, it was worth it (http://www.websterweaverwedding.com).

    . . . and if you need someone to build a engagement site for you, let me know, I can get you someone who’ll do it for the low low.

    as for the planner, i had one but she was the pits, we could have done it ourselves (we actually did all the flower arrangements ourselves cause we couldn’t find anyone who had the calla lilly’s my wife wanted), but you need helpers for certain . . . and on the day of, you need a crew and personal assistant fo’ real!

    just thinking about it, i’m going to go check the site out agai! – tear –

  66. Jaci Says:

    OK I am back!

    @Cuzzo-I done missed a lot.

    @Shawnta-Mind if I e-mail you? I wanted to ask you about something.

  67. Jaci Says:

    @Shawnta-I wanted to e-mail you by the way, is that cool? I had a couple things I wanted to ask about

    @Rob-Let me check this site out!

  68. Shawnta` Says:

    @Cuzzo:

    I’ll take your word for it about the song being all lies.

    I did some planning but mainly we just told our coordinator what we wanted and she handled most of it. If she had too many questions, I directed her to our mothers. The year we got married, I graduated from law school in May and the wedding was in August so, I didn’t have time to be stressed out with wedding stuff. I was trying to graduate and be out. 🙂

  69. Jaci Says:

    OMG Shawnta! Now I know I really need to talk to you!

  70. Shawnta` Says:

    @Jaci: Of course you can email me. Do you have my email address?

  71. Rob Says:

    Jaci . . check the link in the prior post.

  72. Shawnta` Says:

    @Rob: I think it’s so cool that you were hands on and involved. So, was my husband & I really needed that because it was an extremely busy time and I had too much to focus on.

  73. Jaci Says:

    @Shawnta-Is it the one you use in a comment field?

  74. Jaci Says:

    @Rob-I am looking right now, I am slightly busy BUT I am going to get to it tonight…and more when I get the chance to really look.

    Another one of the changes I am going to make is to really get my event planning off the ground.

    I wanna do a JD/MBA thing too. Also, I wanna do event planning and later on a non-profit. SO…! I am all over the place.

  75. Cuzzo Says:

    thanks for sharing the site Rob. I’mma check it out thoroughly tonight. I did read part of your story and you mentioning how she had REAL HAIR, lmao.

  76. Jaci Says:

    @Cuzzo-Right! The real hair and the big eyes! That’s realness.

    Congrats baby girl I am so glad you found happiness. I got a question, but I am going to e-mail.

  77. Rob Says:

    @cuzzo: i put that “real hair” clause in the unofficial prenup. j/k.

    @shawnta: I got some helpful advice from a divorcee who said get engaged on the wedding. I could have done more (the dude in me fought it for a while), but I’m definitely glad i have my own wedding stories versus having to sit around and here my wife tell the play by play with no input like i see a lot of guys do.

  78. Cuzzo Says:

    btw – I had cousin’s who got married in Antigua. Part of me thought, OK, this way people that REALLY want to share in your day will be there…and the other part of me just thought they were being lazy AND cheap, lol

  79. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks Jac…ok

  80. Jaci Says:

    @Cuzzo-Does the Treehouse get an invitation?

  81. Cuzzo Says:

    @Jac

    well just put me on the spot. idk…these things cost per person…ya’ll might have to pay for your plates (im just serious)

    but, bridal shower…everyone’s invited! (that’s where i get my gifts, lol)

  82. Jaci Says:

    well just put me on the spot. idk…these things cost per person…ya’ll might have to pay for your plates (im just serious)

    but, bridal shower…everyone’s invited! (that’s where i get my gifts, lol)

    LOL…I don’t mind, I wanna see you tie the knot! And just let us know maybe that can be the annual trip for 2010!

    And I sent the e-mail!

  83. Shawnta` Says:

    @Jaci: Yup! That one works.

  84. Jaci Says:

    @Shawnta-Sent!

  85. Shawnta` Says:

    @Jaci – Got it! I will respond once I leave work. I have a meeting that starts soon and probably won’t have a chance to respond before then.

  86. Jaci Says:

    you’re cool ma’am

  87. Athena Nike Says:

    I am getting better about dealing with changes I can’t really control. That is the real issue, knowing you have little to no say so in the matter. Just learning to pray on it and ask God to help me with my feelings if they are negative.
    Now on changes I make and can control, I’m learning not to regret as much if I make mistakes along the way. Last year I moved to WI for a not so hot job experience and now that its over I think I had to get my feet wet, and now I have no problem moving away again – just have to pick a better job and location – I was a sista n the middle of white bread wisconsin…

  88. Hugh Jazz Says:

    Congrats Cuzzo!

    Athena Nike: “just have to pick a better job and location – I was a sista n the middle of white bread wisconsin…”

    If you weren’t in Milwaukee, Racine or Kenosha, then I understand.

  89. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks Hugh.

  90. Britt Says:

    LOL @ Nicki – I know!!!

  91. Britt Says:

    And congrats Cuzzo!!!

  92. Shawnta` Says:

    @Everyone…change MUST be in the air. I just got home from my very first yoga class (BTW, it was hard as hell but AWESOME – I loved it!) and my instructor shared a quote at the end of class based on change. I don’t remember the entire quote but it was definitely something along the lines of embracing it and not fearing it. Of course, as she was reading it, I thought about today’s post & wanted to share. 🙂

  93. Cuzzo Says:

    Thanks Britt.

    @Shawnta – the universe works like that sometimes. but change is forever and inevitable so it’s not that coincidental.

  94. Shawnta` Says:

    @Cuzzo: Change is DEFINITELY inevitable and one of the few certainties in life.

  95. J Money (First Name, Last Name) Says:

    I think change is good. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. I don’t like to hear people say that they can’t change their situation or things that are going on. You can change them, its just the way you have to change it may not be obvious at first.

    I am thankful for the changes in my life and the people who have created changes in my life.

  96. @JMoney: Welcome to the blog. 😉 “If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

    I agree with this- very good addition to the topic.

  97. Shawnta` Says:

    I think change is good. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

    @JMoney: Very true statement. Sometimes we can’t control the things that happen to us but we can control how we choose to react to it and how we handle it.


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