In my recent travels through the dating world I’ve come across a lot of different things…we all know that I don’t kick you off the roster for any old offense but it does take some real stuff for me to do it. Anyways, there are two big things that have been said to me in the past three months that really stood out…
Sometimes the spark leaves and you can’t really get it back.
The Outdoorsy one said this to me one day. I just looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Whatever do you mean? Of course you can get the spark back-that’s why people always talk about reigniting the flames. So anyways…I had to think about these for a number of days. Is he right? Well…upon further ruminations I realized that he is right. The spark may get low, but doesn’t fully die. Here’s what I learned from him though…each individual’s spark may die…his or mine, but the other person’s flame likely shines so bright there’s generally no reason to part.
The second thing I’ve learned is much more in detail…
An older man…(we all know I like those) outlined for me several marital tenets. I just want to high light about three…bear with me please.
1. Each mate’s rights. OK …here we go…the scenario is the following…you and your husband have had a fight he calls you and tells you he’s gonna blow off steam with the boys. Don’t hold dinner and he’ll be home at a reasonable time. At 5pm you call and tell him to come home. Welp…apparently we ladies (the gentlemen too) have the right to request that their mate come home.
2. There should be no sex before marriage. This one was tough for me. I could not believe anyone in 2009 would ev er tell me this. After an explanation of why (knowing how I’ve done things lately) I’d say he might be correct. Sex really does cloud things. And the sheer anticipation of it all plus wanting to please your new husband or wife makes that release oh so sweet.
3. IF a woman cheats, it’s the man’s fault. I’m gonna side eye this and we’ll talk about it later 🙂
Anyways, the final thing is so much more shocking that I can’t even enumerate it I want it to be read in this paragraph.
Much like Jada told Will..there will be no divorce. Anything that comes up has to be worked on. I think this is a good idea. Think about it…you understand at the very beginning of everything you already know what you’ll have to work on. You know ahead of time that this is your mate and they have your back…