Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

My Face Doesn’t Want to Shine (The Woman in the Mirror) July 6, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 10:24 pm

I could have written a million things today.  There’s a lot to write about…I don’t really want to touch any of it.  The reason why is because I want to be introspective and tell you things I’ve learned …about me…whether in my alone time or in my time with others.  Deep down inside I know these are big things that make me who I am, but they are also my most fatalistic flaws…and I am just woman enough to share them.  It might not make sense and it doesn’t have to…comments are necessarily required, but you may if you like…

The Woman in the Mirror...

The Woman in the Mirror...

1. Skylark-“Wildflower” should probably be my theme song…anyone who doesn’t know it can find it here:

There a couple of reasons why I picked this song…first off…Sometimes it is hard.  Harder than anyone will ever be able to imagine…and yes indeed sometimes it seems like my new name should be Atlas…and yet I seem to be through though I always, always, always am on the verge of tears because I hold so many secrets…

And yet the most telling part of the song is paying for a debt you don’t owe…

The sins of our fathers are visited upon our children…

I am never untroubled…but I will always smile as though the last joke told was the funniest ever told…

Please don’t touch me…or you’ll awaken me and rest is the only solace I have

2. I excite easily…and because of this I frequently misunderstand….

A silent wind blows..and only I can hear it…

I want to go to it.

A few minutes ago…I misunderstood something because of the excitement which existed…I misunderstood something crucial…causing me to do something against my character…

Funny how time flies…time passed me by…just when it seemed the fun began…I hope you’ll allow it again some day soon…

3. Sensitivity…

Gardenias bruise with the slightest touch…I am drawn to them…

I don’t know how I do it..but my heart and easiness are my biggest problems.

I am my own worst enemy…

4. I am perfectly…imperfect.

Over-qualified…yet not qualified enough…

square pegs don’t fit in round holes.

Back in the game.  I can do this…I can do this…

cause I’m not keeping score…

Cryptic sure…but as usual I’ve said too much already…

I’m really sorry..hope you can forgive me.

I wonder…


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15 Responses to “My Face Doesn’t Want to Shine (The Woman in the Mirror)”

  1. thecomebackgirl Says:

    I don’t know what to say…I feel like I walked in on somebody having se!x ………………???!!

  2. Jaci Says:

    CBG:

    No se!x is being had here on SSSO today at all! It’s just introspection in written form. I had a completely different post (that I might post later) but after making a mistake that I feel awful about I switched to this (also because of a convo w. another blogger Thursday morning)

    I’ll simply say that I’m often misunderstood.

  3. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “I’m often misunderstood.”

    Join the party…I tried to post something else after i posted the first time..anywhoo I listen to the Skylark song and …are you sad??

  4. Jaci Says:

    @CBG

    I don’t know that sad is the right word. For one instance, I’m upset @ myself for misunderstand…on another I’m sad I can’t understand, but then I know that I am a square and I’ll never fit in the round hole which is weird cause to be a square means you’re cookie cutter-ish.

    I have always loved that song…and one of the things that has always been sure about me is my lack of sleep and brooding personality (though it never seems like it)…I think when we make the next trip you might be able to see…I’m always just a little on edge (and it has nothing to do with my coffee)

    It’s simply who I am…and I think you have to know me either really deeply or for a long time to make the observation my best friend did..at my birthday lunch…

    “You’re still the same person and I always know what to expect”

    I thought her making that statement was FUNNY! Because she’s right, but not many realize this.

  5. peyso Says:

    My theme song is: “Some People Hate Us” by Jay. That’s my track. I got a bunch of theme songs actually. Maybe one day, I’ll list em.

    I hear your pain about being misunderstood

  6. Jaci Says:

    @Peyso et al.

    themesongs are welcome here too. what’s the song that you feel describes you or your situation. can you post your youtube link?

    pey also hit on where i was kinda going with this…how is it that out of the three that have commented so far…we are all misunderstood and sometimes (maybe once a month) we understand each other with sort of an aha! moment…we don’t have to work to get it…we just do…

    and then other’s don’t even try.

  7. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “we understand each other with sort of an aha! moment…we don’t have to work to get it…we just do…”

    I think everybody just wants to be accepted and understood. You need an outlet. Like a garden, painting..you play an instrument??

    you need to go give birth to something thats REALLY REALLY creative…that doesn’t give a dayum about what anyone thinks.

  8. Jaci Says:

    @CBG

    You always say that! I always think it’s funny and never really know how to answer you..because I do the garden think…I hate painting and yes, I play an instrument…but it’s bigger than that..think total silence big…

    I say that because sometimes you can do too much. So it’s like adding an outlet means adding to an already large and in charge schedule…

    Now what I will say is there are definitely a couple of things out there that I LOVE to do…and I do them all the time…those are moments when I CANNOT BE FOUND.

    Which is weird because I think everyone here thinks I have a BIG personality when in reality it is, but not like you’d think.

  9. I’m not misunderstood at all…. maybe it’s bc I don’t say much. I try to keep things light! But it satisfies me, so do whatever it is that satisfies you.

  10. thecomebackgirl Says:

    This is my last comment (for a few hours LOL) (and then i have to do some work)

    is this about a boy??

  11. Jaci Says:

    @CBG

    Nope, not particularly…

    Pls work! Gotta get that money and keep them off your dayum back for our next trip!

  12. Bamer15 Says:

    It’s about a boy… 😛

  13. Jaci Says:

    @Bamer

    Heh heh heh think so if you wanna

  14. Athena Nike Says:

    that song is entitled skylark?? wow…


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