Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Our Turn Do You Want to be the Effin Best July 8, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — peyso @ 10:03 pm

First of all, I would like to apologize to Nicki for my comments yesterday. I meant no disrespect but still they were disrespectful.

On a lighter note: I was reading some other blogs recently and I feel that we would be remorse if we didn’t touch on the same topic that they did. This damn Drake video. I like him as a rapper. But he’s nothing special. He spits some hot sh!t but he aint on the way to being no classic. I noticed that many women have issues with the video. “Why the video aint got nothing but light skinned chicks in it?” “Why is there so many bitties in the video?” “Why are they stretching aimlessly?” THEY ARE ALL WRONG. However, I feel that his premier main stream video is ground breaking when it comes to hip hop videos. I expanded upon a comment I made on another blog. It as follows:

I think the video is ingenious and correlates to the song much better than I initially thought. When you think about it, he has a group of girls on his team that the average man would go goo goo ga ga for. Light skin, long hair, tig ole bitties, and some booty on them and they are all racially ambiguous. However, they suck at the game. They’re straight doo doo. They are like the Dwight Howard, but without the ability to dunk the ball. So they just look like they should be good at the game. Outside of their looks, they lack any real talent. To put in terms outside of basketball they lack substance. He has a bunch of these wanna be Dwight Howard’s on the team that look good but suck at the game. All he has to do to get them riled up is tell em that they’re the best. Their insecurities in their game (which is essentially their looks) force them to need that validation. However, the chicks that actually win and are good at the game are more realistic looking chicks; women of all colors and dimensions. They are the chicks that don’t need to necessarily hear the compliments. They go out and do them, day in and day out. They are the chicks who eventually get wifed up. I think this is the true message of the video and whoever is making a big deal about there being too many light skin chicks in the video is missing this. Drake is saying that his team sucks but they think that are the best and that he needs a better team. All they can do is “Take the D”.

How do ya feel about my take on the video? Do ya agree? How do ya feel about Hip hop videos on a whole?


26 Responses to “Our Turn Do You Want to be the Effin Best”

  1. Bamer15 Says:

    2 points peyso:

    1) I agree with your reply on another blog. I think that is what I was thinking when I watched this video. (This was my first time watching it BTW) Outside of a bit of lousy acting, it was clear that all he had to tell these girls was that they were good, because they needed to hear it, they lived off the compliments. But to be honest I don’t think the video/message/song is all that deep. JMO.

    2) I know I am probably one of the few white male posters on this board, and with that being said, I didn’t really take notice or realize that the light skinned/dark skinned issues around women of color was an even a big issue to discuss. That is before I started following thisblog here and I have seen it come up many times. And it seems as though, PLEASE correct me if I am wrong, that women would prefer, if they had a choice, to be a bit lighter colored than to be darker.

    Why is that? (I know this is getting a bit off topic, sorry Peyso, but I wanted to see if someone on this blog could give me a better
    “insider’s perspective” on this?

    In my personal opinion, I think that BOTH ‘darker’ and ‘lighter’ colored women are EXTREMELY beautiful, and I really mean that. And to be completely honest, the older I get, the more that your looks don’t all that much matter to me. At least not like they did when you were 16, 17, 18 or whatever and just looking for some a$$. You know? I can’t see anyone of the girls on these boards pictures, (as I comment from work and it blocks the pics), but judging by the comments most if not all the women here are attractive to me on some level. 🙂

    Anyways, since I already wrote a novel, I will finish my rant. Thanks for the good post peyso, made me think about alot of things… 😉

  2. THanks Peyso.. all is forgiven. We are cool.

    Back to the subject, I agree with you Peyso. And I think the Drake video is hot. It’s funny and very entertaining, as it was meant to be but people are always looking to dig a little deeper.

    I am sick of women finding something to b&tch about. I’m sick of us, as a black community, bringing up the color issue. I honestly never even noticed the color of the girls in the video until I read VSB the other day.

    People talk about the effects the videos have on our young girls but honestly we shouldn’t be allowing our young girls to need videos to make them feel good about themselves.

  3. mikki Says:

    Like bamer i had not seen the video until today. Im not sure if my opinion would have been different had i not read the post prior to watching but i thought the video was hilarious. The pep talk was so silly. On a serious note it really speaks on how men pick the women they date ( looks and no substance). I dont blame them though because you like what you like.

    To answer bamer i am not sure what comments you refer to or if i had ever bern a part if them but i wouldnt want to be anything other than me. the problem most times is nobody really wants to be like anybody else but if u are constantly being put off and not seen as beautiful as the women in the video u start to wonder and question yourself.

  4. “Why is that? (I know this is getting a bit off topic, sorry Peyso, but I wanted to see if someone on this blog could give me a better
    “insider’s perspective” on this? ”

    I can’t say that the darker women prefer to be lighter but for some reason, it’s an issue that keeps coming up in our community… and the argument I’ve heard is the darker women in Hollywood, etc. still have a struggle with being recognized as beautiful-

    which I think can be solved if we START recognizing our own beauty and STOP looking to the outside to boost our esteem.

    Black women are beautiful. Period. We come in all different colors. After looking at the Drake video, those girls look more Puerto Rican than anything.

  5. Additionally, I think Hollywood, etc. chooses women that are more racially ambiguous. At least that’s what I was taught in my short amateur “modeling” days. They prefered when I wore my hair big and curly, which was a three hour process for me to achieve, but they claimed it crossed the racial lines. It’s all about marketing. Look at your grocery type commercials, the black people hardly ever look fully black.

  6. K Even Says:

    @Peyso ur the greatest.. that was the best depiction (reading tween the lines) which pin points exactly what this video is about.

    a lot of peeps cann not take the time to break down the components because they are always to busy *itchin about what they cant see..

  7. No More Says:

    The comments I have heard about this video really shows the insecurity of some people and issues that they have with their image and self esteem. Additionally, who cares what girls he has in his video, its his money, why does he have to cater to you in order for you to feel better about yourself? Some people say the video is “meaningless”…what kind of meaning were they looking for? The song is playful, so why wouldn’t the video be?

    I think most of his criticisms come from him being the “it” man of the moment. Had this been some other less popular rapper the commotion would not be this large.

  8. mikki Says:

    Nic my hair stylist was tellin me a story yesterday about how when she was younger she had two friends one white one black. She said she always was up under the white girl for the longest and mom didnt know why she wasnt playin with the black friend as much until one day she asked. She said mommie because she is a celebrity right?? It was funny but she assumed that because her friend looked like what she saw on tv she assumed she was famous. She said back then there werent any black shows so what she saw is all she knew.

    Tv and videos i do believe still play a roll today however as nic said it really should start with education at home. I think when you teach a child early these racial issued wont come up later in life so instead of giving up because society says u are unpretty u keep tryin either until u win or make your own way.

  9. “think when you teach a child early these racial issued wont come up later in life so instead of giving up because society says u are unpretty u keep tryin either until u win or make your own way.”

    Exactly!!!! and that was a cute story, but kids are so innocent. It’s up to us in the home to teach them.

  10. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    I personally haven’t watched the video…. But I’m gonna check it out now after reading Peyso’s overview…….

  11. J Money Says:

    This was my first time watching the video but I picked up on the message as soon I heard the song. The video really just puts it into perspective. I think those people who criticize this video think it was just another hip hop honey video with girls showing their assets and that’s it. And true there are a lot of videos out there like that. So I think now when people see one, then they automatically throw it into that category.

    @Bamer: I have never understood the wanting to be lighter or darker thing either. One thing I cannot understand is our lighter sisters wanting to tan themselves. I don’t know if they want that brazilian golden brown look or what it is. That is just my two cents on that.

  12. peyso Says:

    I think the debate about the whole light skinned women thing is there are few brown skinned women ever seen anywhere in media. I think that that is a sound argument. However, I dont think that there is much that we can do about. I really think that lack of brown skin women is a product of racism. I dont know if the country is ready to see brown skin folk all over their televisions. Thus, media outlets walk the fine line by using the racially ambiguous women as features in there ads, movies and shows.

    However, when it comes to music videos, I just do not see why anyone would want to extend that logic and concept to this realm. Many people who argue about the lack of brown skinned women are the same people who in the same breath argue that the videos are tasteless, classless and are merely vehicals of exploitation. Do you want that exploitation extended to our brown skinned sisters also? Is it better if we do that?

    Thirdly, as I originally pointed out this video doesnt even fall in line with those arguments because it clearly shows brown skinned sisters in a better light than their light skinned counterparts. I really think that the large outcry against this video sheds light about a larger issue. I think that there is a subset of women who suffer from a severe misalignment of priorities. Instead of being the woman that a man takes home to build his kingdom with, the best in the truest since of the word, they want to be the woman that is fetishized and fawned over until its time to build a home

  13. “One thing I cannot understand is our lighter sisters wanting to tan themselves”

    I have tanned and used products in the past bc I never wanted to be light in the first place. You get teased (high yella, red bone), and if I have a blemish u see it plain as day. AND you get some shallow men sometiems (I only date light girls with long hair, blah blah blah)….

  14. J Money Says:

    “You get teased (high yella, red bone), and if I have a blemish u see it plain as day”

    Don’t you think dark-skinned people have it worse being called darkie, black A, charcoal and the list goes on and on. I say compared to those high yella and red bone are no where near a borderline racist remark like those. Everyone has blemishes on them no matter the skin tone. So even if you are tanned something still will show up regardless. I have them and I am darker than you would be tanned so…ijs

  15. Shawnta` Says:

    Morning, y’all.

    Although it was the “talk of the town” on Twitter, I still haven’t seen this video; so, I’m going to watch it now. Back in awhile…

  16. mikki Says:

    Shawnta the vid is so funny u gotta take that D!!

  17. Rob Says:

    “when your out there and they put that D on you, take that D, take that D like the champions you are” . . . that’s all i have to say about the Drake video. if you can’t see the sarcasm and irony in this video, you’re simply slow or maybe you’re the best too!

    more poignant is Brother Bamer’s question:

    “Why is that? (I know this is getting a bit off topic, sorry Peyso, but I wanted to see if someone on this blog could give me a better
    “insider’s perspective” on this? ”

    (please pardon the rant). Bamer start here Paper Bag Test. The way in which the black community covets the lighter skinded folks in our community goes back . . .back . . .way back in our history as African (brought over to be) Americans. This persist in our culture and is magnified in our media, arts, boardrooms, etc, etc.

    The disdain and inequity attributed to darker toned skin is something that despite its ridiculousness, has been embedded in the fabric of who we (our entire country, color not withstanding) are as a people.

    Remnants of racism and slavery tis’ all.

  18. Anna Says:

    Peyso, this is why I e-heart you. You’ve put your finger on something that it takes a lot of folks alot longer to figure out: the prototype for a music video/tv/magazine is not the prototype for a wife. And yes, men drool. But most won’t drop to their knee with ring in hand for the shiniest dimepiece in the room. A lot of us are striving to be Marylins when we’re really Jackies.

  19. mikki Says:

    Lol rob thats my favorite part in the video!! And when she wad like but all u taught us was how to stretch she was so innocent and i died laughin.

  20. Jaci Says:

    OK…I had never heard any of Drake’s music or seen a video of his.

    Anyways, I think it portrays a positive message. I don’t think it matters what color you are or how long your hair is…different men have different preferences.

    Now I wanna agree with Nick…the skin color ain’t all it’s cracked up to…blemishes and blotches show up easy, easy on us lighter broads…long hair is a lot of things but a beast to maintain…short hair is a beast to maintain.

    Beyond that, I think the pep talks are the ish…be the best…at stretching, taking D and umm…yeh whatever else he was saying…

    But seriously…be the best you you can be whether you’re light or dark…long hair not carin or a natural beauty…

    I’m cool..looking just like I look



    Hey stranger! What’s been up?!


    IT was about a MAN…not a BOY.


    Hey lady!



  21. Shawnta` Says:

    Okay…got sidetracked.

    I watched the video & I can definitely get with your synopsis of it. I can also see how people might not see or get this because when we’re watching a music video, it’s usually 2-5 minutes of mindless entertainment and people aren’t really watching videos for messages.

    “the prototype for a music video/tv/magazine is not the prototype for a wife. And yes, men drool. But most won’t drop to their knee with ring in hand for the shiniest dimepiece in the room. A lot of us are striving to be Marylins when we’re really Jackies.”

    @Anna: This is very true. Peyso, thanks for pointing this out.

    @Bamer: I agree with @Nicki, @Rob & the others; light skin vs. dark skin has always been an issue in the black community. It’s an exhausting, frustrating, upsetting and annoying issue that won’t seem to go away. I am (naively)hopeful that one day it won’t matter but in order for that to happen, we (everyday people, media, Hollywood, etc.) have to learn to love, celebrate and honor all black skin tones. I agree that all black men and women are beautiful rather lighter or darker.

  22. Shawnta` Says:

    Oops…meant to say “whether lighter or darker” in my last sentence.

  23. damn why you dissing Howard? He’s a good player. As for the video, your right about the message. I think you can thank Kanye west’s directing for all the boobie action.. you know he loves the tata’s.

  24. Bamer15 Says:

    @ all: Thanks for some clarification on that topic. I really appreciate it. 🙂 And the link that was posted was good to read about some of the past history of racism, etc.

  25. Danielle Says:

    You know what – I haven’t seen this video ( I don’t watch much tv), but your commentary has got me interested…..Can’t wait until I get home to click on the link.

  26. Athena Nike Says:

    Wow this is deep. First time seeing this video, have heard of Drake, but gave up on Hip Hop a long ago time when I decided it wasn’t feeding my spirit with the right -images 😛
    I love and agree with the analysis though. It made me think back to the infamous Ciroc commercial casting call for “Beyonce types” I think it was, earlier this year. But the brothers leave the Beyonce types as well as the Hattie Daniels. So perhaps the final conclusion should be that ‘Men are frivolous’ 🙂

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