Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Got to Keep Things Up…Maintenance and Other Quickies July 20, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 8:00 pm

Everyone around here knows there are certain things Jaci thinks you need to have.   In order for me to write this post effectively I will need to take off my yaya jacket and unpin my hair…

Now, we are all adults here and as adults we all know that we have certain needs.  You know what I’m saying here, every now and then the pipes need cleaning…tires rotated and the engine flushed and who praytell do you call to get these things done?

The Maintenance Man

(Or woman-work with me please)

Yes, yes indeed I condone the usage of a set person to meet those needs.  But here’s what I’ve recently realized through talking to professional women, family members and other friends I have come to realize a few other things a lady might need to *ahem* elevate herself…(sorry fellas this won’t work for you, but I’ll get to that later)

1. A Travel Buddy- You don’t have to sleep with him, but you can sleep in the same room…on your trip..be it in the cabin on the cruise ship or in the swanky Ritz room overlooking NYC…wanna getaway to Miami for the weekend…he is your man!

2. A Dinner Companion- Why should you have to cook everyday?  After all, you are fabulous single and living it up…so why not have someone who always wants to take you to the hottest places for dinner?  I think you deserve it…and so does he..because he thinks this might go somewhere…honey please…you’re just “dating for your dinner”…(just don’t end up like the Black Dahlia)

3. A Shopper…How else are you supposed to look good for the real prospects?  Don’t you know he can buy you the Gucci, Fendi, etc, etc..?  Put your monies in the bank and let this gentleman spoil you til your heart delights!

4. Spare tire…whew…help me out here…I learned this one from my aunt…here’s the thing…you never know when you might need like oh say  $100 to cover a bill…this gentleman has no problem forking over a little dough for you to do that…or for you to have drinks and dinner with the ladies…I think everyone needs one of these…(and don’t get rid of this gentleman until you’re married)

Man…this post is really out of character for me, but look, men do these things to women all the time.  So ladies, what other things do you think is essential for a woman to have (and no it doesn’t have to be outlandish…it can be practical as well…)

My quick practical list:

1. Somewhere to go when she’s down

2. A girlfriend who always answers

3. At least $500 in the bank for a rainy day

Gentlemen, what would you like to know your lady has covered without you?  And what are some things that y

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42 Responses to “Got to Keep Things Up…Maintenance and Other Quickies”

  1. The Sphinx Says:

    I like this! But are #’s 1 and 3 gay? I don’t know too many men that want to travel with you and they’re not sleeping with you, 0r shop with you.

    This needs to be followed up with a “how-to” guide for getting these types of guys. I just haven’t had much luck with getting guys to trick off their money on me like this. lol Maybe it’s because I feel bad about asking for things from guys? Maybe I need to work on that…

    Ok so here are mine (I’d say they’re quite practical):
    1. Nice matching undies.
    Hey, you never know who you might run into!

    2. A traveling buddy girlfriend
    Sometimes, you just want to pack up and go! And not by yourself. I have a girlfriend who’s always down for travel, whether I say I’m going to Atlanta or Alaska. She’s down for rolling with.

  2. Anitra Says:

    I cant agree with the list sure men may do it but hey im not a man so i pass. Plus i find it much more fun to do things alone so xyz man doesnt get Mistaken for my man!!

    Sphinx i know about matchin undies but im sooo not good at pickin them out.

    Also travel girlfriends are cool too!!

    I dont have any additions

  3. In my single day, I didn’t have any of these men because everything comes with an opportunity cost and I wasn’t willing to pay it.

    I do have all types of girlfriends though… the one I call for good times (can’t share what I’m really going through with her)… my confidant, etc.

  4. Anitra Says:

    Yep Nic girlfriends are great to have.

    Man I wanna go back to sleepy land!!!

  5. You and me both!!!! Sleep is my favorite. lol

  6. K Even Says:

    women need a man they can talk to who is unbias…

    i like matchin undies.. heheheheh

    i can only do #2 if there is no attraction…. everything else has to come with some type of balance… myb not a$$.. but some muffins or something.. the see saw has to balance out somehow…

    im js syn

  7. I agree on the man who is unbiased though… but only if single. I don’t know how a man would feel about his woman going back and asking another man for advice about him.

  8. J Money Says:

    “I don’t know how a man would feel about his woman going back and asking another man for advice about him.”

    I would not like that at all. But i think it is my opinion that bad stuff would be discussed which is not cool. But I do discuss stuff with my female best friend, who is also my ex-girlfriend but I know the view is objective and is not clouded by her own personal agenda.

  9. J Money Says:

    I have a friend here in memphis who I did all those things with. Except for the paying of food, she had other dudes for that. But like she would get drunk and stay the night at my crib. We would go to the mall. If she needed to talk about this guy or that guy it was all good in my book. I was just a shoulder or an ear for her. So I would say the Shopper, Travel, and Dinner Companion we have done.

  10. Nicki Sunshine Says:

    “But I do discuss stuff with my female best friend, who is also my ex-girlfriend but I know the view is objective and is not clouded by her own personal agenda.”

    J- so it’s cool to discuss with your lady friend but not okay for her to do it?

  11. J Money Says:

    “J- so it’s cool to discuss with your lady friend but not okay for her to do it?”

    I used to do it. But since I have been in a relationship I don’t discuss relationship stuff. That was when I was dating people. But I think at times it is harder for a male to be just friends and it depends on the nature of the relationship. If the dude you are confiding in was the same one 2weeks or a month ago talking about yall getting together for Chex for old times sake, then he can’t be a good friend. His judgement is clouded by the fact that if times get hard enough for you he might be able to sneak up in so…

  12. “If the dude you are confiding in was the same one 2weeks or a month ago talking about yall getting together for Chex for old times sake, then he can’t be a good friend. His judgement is clouded by the fact that if times get hard enough for you he might be able to sneak up in so…”

    U trying to be funny. lol. But seriously, I agree.

  13. Jaci Says:

    I see a lot of wonderful comments are out there..and as always responding is a chore unless I’m waking up at 4am…

    Here goes nothing:

    @The Sphinx

    I like this! But are #’s 1 and 3 gay? I don’t know too many men that want to travel with you and they’re not sleeping with you, 0r shop with you

    Hmm…no I don’t think so….I have had two steady ones all through college and some that come and go…now there was some give and take here…but an attraction didn’t come until later and it was TOO late.

    A manual on how to get them huh? Well..those might be questions for K-Even and J-Money.

    @Mik

    Plus i find it much more fun to do things alone so xyz man doesnt get Mistaken for my man!!

    He shouldn’t and when you go places with him you’re not looking for a man…rather hanging with a friend…now the benefit of this is the fact the things you gain from being with and around this man will help you in your upcoming relationships.

    @Nick

    I think girlfriends are great to have…my best friend and her Mom offered me a chance to go to Paris last night…like I said something about it and she immediately called Mama KT…and she was on it…the different is I can call whenever cause she’s definitely the bestest.

  14. Jaci Says:

    *sigh* continuing on…

    @K-Even

    An unbiased man is definitely the ish…you know what else a woman needs…well…some Os and umm…a man who always has her back and makes her smile…that I think CAN grow (but doesn’t necessarily have to) and THAT comes with the utmost of respect and is a very unselfish love…and honey…that’s a lot of balancing 😉

    @J-Money & N-Sunshine (I’m gonna blow the whistle in you ear!)

    Yeah…I think that it’s okay to have friends you talk to, but you have to be cautious of their agendas. If one is looking for chex and your mate even thinks you might be trying to have that then well…hehe…that’s UNbalanced.

  15. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Put your monies in the bank and let this gentleman spoil you til your heart delights!”

    this comes with a price and NOTHING is free.

  16. Peyso Says:

    Do men do this? Not to this elaborate degree. I think for men it narrows down to 3 categories. THe chick you’re seriously trying to wife, the bust downs, and the bestfriend/ugly chick/ can cook a meal.

    Aint no chick getting money for the free from me unless she my momma/auntie/grandma or I’ve seen her naked. Everyone else is getting a loan

  17. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    “Put your monies in the bank and let this gentleman spoil you til your heart delights!”

    I agree with CBJ on this one ain’t nothing in life free….I was kidding around with my daddy and uncles saying this guy was gonna detail my car… They was like for how much? I was like he ain’t charging… They went off… Like what the hell wrong with you and blah, blah, blah….

  18. Jaci Says:

    @CBG

    Maybe @ a stalker..remember I had one of these…and he couldn’t take how pretty I was, the fact I needed sleep and most definitely did everything he could to get the P…but I stayed strong and took a lot of baths and showers..and though he’s not spoiling anymore I still get phone calls.

    @Peyso

    Booski still in the hooski? And have you done any rooskiying?

    *Just look at the above questions and I know who is getting your money!!!!

  19. Peyso Says:

    @ Jaci – I dont know what to say lol

  20. J Money Says:

    “this comes with a price and NOTHING is free.”

    I agree!!

  21. Jaci Says:

    @Peyso

    I just bet you don’t. Tehehehe

    @80s…

    well…I’m seeing men are willing to put it in work to get what they won’t …but you have to be careful cause they can become crazy!

  22. Stank-0 Says:

    Even single I wish some girl would have asked me to do any of those. FAIL! I ain’t your sponsor, a simp, your sugah daddy, or a Captain (ya’ll know which one I’m referring to)

    I can halfway understand #1, travelling alone can be daunting but more fun. The rest? If you can’t deal then go live with your parents.

    I guess my question is how many ladies have any of these on rotation? How many of these are black men? How many are heterosexual black men? How many are heterosexual black men you have not had relations with?

  23. @Stank-O: Welcome to the blog.. I dont’ have any on rotation.. never have.

  24. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    I guess my question is how many ladies have any of these on rotation?

    @Stanko…… The only one I had in rotation was a dinner companion… But he was like a lil bro to me so I really don’t think he counts… It was just like hey, let’s go grab a bite to eat…. We alternated paying….. Majority of my friends had moved away…. And my friend who’s still here is engaged.. So he was all I had left… LOL

  25. K Even Says:

    i keep 2 and 4 in my rotation..

    js syn..

  26. Jaci Says:

    @Stank

    I’m gonna reserve responding to your question until some time next month! Welcome and nice blog.

    @Nick

    You ARE the nice one!

    @80s

    *high-five* but we need to get you more.

    @K-Even

    Ok on the dinner companion, but you have a female spare tire?

  27. J Money Says:

    @ K Even

    I think fellas always got a rotation until they get locked down LOL!!

  28. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    *high-five* but we need to get you more.

    @Jac… I had a dinner companion… He moved back home on me….. lol

  29. K Even Says:

    @jaci..

    she’s in DC.. 😉

  30. K Even Says:

    @J Money

    and you sir are correct… LOL..

  31. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    @K Even..

    I remember u saying you from cincy….

    *high-five* to a fellow ohioan

  32. Jaci Says:

    @J-Money

    You and your buddy K-Even are a mess! I don’t know what the he!ll yall need rotations for…hehehe…anyways..

    @80s

    I have a dinner companion like that too. It’s great! I need another shopper!

    @K-Even

    Oh really? Did she send you some expensive silk boxers to wear for your *ahem* lady?

  33. K Even Says:

    @Ms. Eighty’s Baby

    *double high-five*

  34. K Even Says:

    @ Jaci

    LMBO.. lol.. lets just say those silkies only come out for long distance flights

  35. Jaci Says:

    @K-Even

    What ever do you mean dear?

    *checking distance*

  36. Jaci Says:

    What about the clean-up woman/man?

    Has anyone ever experienced one of those?

  37. “What about the clean-up woman/man?

    Has anyone ever experienced one of those?”

    Never. lol. I am pretty boring

  38. Frank P Says:

    I think that all these actions come with a price. I just don’t believe you will get something from a guy for free, unless he is gay. Just my two cents.

    As far as the cleanup woman or man. That person has to be in the right train of thought for that role. No type of moral compass, and you really have to be low down.

    @Nicki Sunshine: Those are some sexy lips you have there 🙂

  39. Welcome to the blog Frank P. and thank you.

  40. Frank P Says:

    @Nicki Sunshine: Thanks for the welcome. As beautiful as you are there is no way you could be boring. Especially with those instruments you have LOL!!

  41. @Frank P: Au contrare, even before I was boo’d up, I was doing NOTHING. lol.

  42. The Lioness Says:

    I may be a day late and a dollar short, but did anyone mention an actual handyman? Some guy who can come around a just fix stuff. Like right now, it would be real nice if I could find a guy to come and fix this other car sitting in my yard.


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