Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Human Nature…why is it done this way? July 24, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 12:24 am
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It’s been a long week. It’s still going in fact and I know this because I’m out..had a drink or two and I’m sitting here trying to write this blog.

Anyways, I’m never totally sure about what I wanna write about til the exact moment I sit down and write, but this week I’ve had a lot of random and not so random thoughts so anyways I’ve got my next like month of post already lined up..but I wasn’t expecting today. But never fear because I’ve got FIVE questions I’m wondering about. Here goes nothing!

1. Sunday night I e-mailed Nick about spirituality and dating. The next day we featured a dual post from SBM and from Nick…and a commenter asked how Christians could be on here talking about se!x, relationships and etc..the way we do. So I’m wondering what place does it have? Are we looking for someone with common beliefs? Is it up for debate? Are these questions we ask early in dating? If the person is a good person does religion matter?

2. Tuesday I wrote about the different men (and women) we all need to have on our rosters. I didn’t add the one that you have undeniable chemistry with to the list. So ladies and gents…they say when you’ve got it you’ve got it…but what do you do when there are challenges there? Step out on faith or let the chemistry work itself out?

I want to step out on faith

3. Wednesday was about child support and since I don’t have kids I’m just wondering how many everyone wants? I’d like 3.

4. Everyone should do at least one good deed a day. Think it’s feasible?

5. Have a wonderful weekend! I love ya’ have no idea how much you all brighten my days…



In case you missed it I thought John Mayer did great especially not knowing MJ and because he couldn’t sing


18 Responses to “Human Nature…why is it done this way?”

  1. 1. We should look for someone who is already where we want to be or on our same path of improvement. I think these are questions that we should ask early on in dating. There is no use getting involved with someone who is on an entirely different spectrum than I.

    2. Can you help me understand this question Ms. Jaci?

    3. 1 or 2

    4. I think so, a good gesture can be as small as holding the door to somoene.

    5. Have a great weekend as well.

  2. Anitra Says:

    Good questions jac

    As far as #1 im not sure exactly if its wrong. I do know its manditory that i date a man with a solid spiritual back ground, it really means a lot to me at this point in life.

    idk bout #2
    #3 im thinkin a good solid 4 will do. This week i learned that the most unselfish thing two people can do is have a child. Before i had plans to wait til i was 35 to have kids. But now as long as hubby agrees with me, its going to be almost imediately.

  3. The Comeback Girl Says:

    John Mayer still makes me sick..aside..


    1. re the se!x questions…Maybe I’m turning into an old prude. But some people can find a way to infuse it into every conversation and blog post. Aind it is a little …mind numbing. And makes me wonder, is he REALLY that hard off (no pun..). Regarding Christianity, its a personal decision. But I’d much rather connect FIRST on an emotional level than a physical one, which does take time. Which leads me to wonder without the former what kind of se!x are people having anyway. I imagine its like anything else, if you have to drone on about it-you’re probably really not having the best se!x any way.

    2. challenges with what?? Chemistry?? I’ll assume so. Look, I expect for there to be other challenges in better knowing my boo..what I don’t expect are issues with chemistry. And thusly if I feel none, those are my walking papers. I don’t try to invent whats not there.

    3. 1

    4. Yep

    5. u2 and everyone.

  4. Anitra Says:

    Comeback u should have 5 lil comebacks lol

  5. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Please disregard that first comment….

    1. I’m nosy so I went back and checked out the comment. Hope I can be as perfect as she is one day But anywho… I think it’s important that these questions are asked early on. I agree with Nick. It’s no point in getting involved with someone who is on a totally different spectrum. And with me it is not up for debate.

    2. I need the chemistry…. I need to want to be able to go with the flow. Without chemistry it may seem a lil forced….

    3. I used to say I want an even number and it was 4. But now I don’t know. As long as they’re healthy it really doesn’t matter.. More than 1 though. I was recently talking to my mom and she said something that I had never thought about… She said you and your sister have something that I always wanted and I was like what… And she said aunts….She made me realize that unless my future husband have a brother my kid won’t have any uncles… (plenty of great uncles though since my daddy has 5 brothers and my mom got a few)

    4.Heck yeah it’s feasible…. This could be something as small as a smile and saying good morning.

    5. Thank ya… Back at ya!!!!!

  6. Peyso Says:

    1. You’re religion should be compatible. If you’re zealous muslim and she’s a zealous hacidic jew, it may not work.

    2. Letting the chemistry work is stepping out on faith, or am I not interpreting the question right

    3. 5 so that I can get every position group in football or have a basketball team, or a whole infield in baseball minues the pitcher of course

    4. I think I do this one

    5. And to you and yours….

  7. Reecie Says:

    Mayer’s Human Nature rendition was excellent! that’s my favorite MJ song so I was glad he did it justice. I read that he actually WAS SUPPOSED to sing–he was selected by the family to sing, and everyone was really surprised that he didn’t.

    I used to want 3 kids, but I think if I had two one of each sex that would be fine.

    I think it is feasible to do one good deed a day. even if that good deed is just biting your tongue and not saying something mean spirited or hurtful.

  8. Shawnta` Says:

    Hey, y’all.

    @Jaci: Great questions.

    1. In my opinion, religion/spirituality plays a huge role in relationships and an even bigger one in marriage. I know that it’s STILL taboo for black churches and Christians to talk about sex, especially when the questions are coming from unmarried Christians but it is something that needs to be discussed. Someone just told me about a book called Naked & Unashamed that I guess is from a Christian’s viewpoint…not sure if the author is married or not. I haven’t researched the book yet. Has anyone read it? Thoughts?

    2. I’m a big proponent of ‘stepping out on faith’ ESPECIALLY if you truly believe God is directing you to do so. Just remember that God is not the author of confusion, so you won’t (or at least shouldn’t) get mixed signs/messages from Him.

    3. I used to say none. Now I say one. Everyone thinks I’ll be the one to have twins, if that’s God’s will, then two. I’m 31 & will have been married six years in August, and I’m still in no rush to have ’em though. 🙂

    4. Yes, it’s feasible. It can be something as ‘small’ or ‘simple’ as saying good morning or complimenting someone on something. You never know what that could do for a person since we never know what they may or may not be going through at that exact moment.

    5. Have a great weekend, everyone. If anyone is near the Columbus, Ohio area…stop in for the Jazz & Rib Fest. Maybe I’ll see you there. 🙂

    P.S. I love John Mayer. One of my favorite songs by him is “Vultures”… @cbg: Why don’t you like him? Just curious…

  9. “Naked & Unashamed that I guess is from a Christian’s viewpoint…not sure if the author is married or not. I haven’t researched the book yet. Has anyone read it? Thoughts?”

    I haven’t read that YET but my Sunday School teachers recommended J and I both read it and discuss it….

  10. Anitra Says:

    Good points shawnta. I will put that on my readers list. Im on book over load ret nah.

  11. Jaci Says:

    Good morning everyone and thank you for commenting.

    I get really good insight from all of you and I’m so grateful you all swing by to indulge me in my musings.

    I am going to pick and choose my way through commenting since everyone has said the same thing…just about.

    @Reecie JM was supposed to sing but he said on LKL that he knew his vocal range was not nearly wide enough to do MJ justice.

    @Shawnta I’m going to e-mail you doll…I got some questions.

    @Mik I am glad to see you pushing along on your journey…I’m proud to know a woman as courageous as you.

    @CBG I have challenges sometimes with watching the sparks…I try to fan them…but right now I’m just letting em do what they gonna do.

    And re: se!x in every post…I really think you have to strike a balance I know it’s there, but right now I’m not having it and I’m interested in a lot of other things and how they make relationships work.

    Hey gentlemen! I’m still drinking coffee so give me a minute!

  12. Athena Nike Says:

    1. Yes for me I am looking for more than just a “believer” He has to be active in his relationship with Jesus, and I have to know who his pastor is, and is he a good pastor.
    I remember working with a young jewish guy who had married a christian girl, and he is at work signifying on how when their first child was coming last summer there would be no more Christmas as he had been tolerating since their marriage. I just laughed, and thought “so naive…” cause his wife or her people will have a santa suit, posing under a tree come Dec 25, then put the yamica back on for the rest of Hanukkah.
    Who wants to deal with that drama in marriage? Folks, especially men, kill me when they get all religious after marriage/when the kids are coming. ” The Bible, Torah, Koran says I’m the head…” Where was Jesus, Yahweh, and Allah when you were trying to get in my pants after 3 months of dating?? Thats another topic…
    To the sex, the discussion wasn’t graphic or about sexual preference, techniques, just when does it become an issue in the development of a relationship. It needs to be discussed, we are all adults. If you and your partner can talk about how you want to flip, split, smack it, you can talk about when it happens in the relationship, and to the child support issue – how to pay for it should sperm get misappropriated…;P

    2. I’m trying not to use anybody and juggle all those folks. I definitely accept the generosity and companionship, but nothing is going down til I’m ready so all these brothers are doing it out of the kindness of their hearts

    3. When I was young I thought 4-5-6, now that I’m 29.9999999999999 I will take it one at a time…just be happy and healthy

  13. Cynthia Says:

    Have a great weekend, and I will try the good deed thing! It should not been too hard right?

  14. Comeback Girl Says:

    “Comeback u should have 5 lil comebacks lol”

    thats a singing group..BTW…my uterus is NGBTDI

  15. Anitra Says:

    Lol comeback my kids need some other kids to visit n play with outta town!!

  16. Comeback Girl Says:

    “Lol comeback my kids need some other kids to visit n play with outta town!!”

    why can’t they play with ONE..

    i remember i went to school with this girl who wanted 5 or 6 kids because that is the “perfect number for a board game”..

  17. J Money Says:

    1. I think being spiritually in tune with one another is key. That is unless you have no problem with converting to someones beliefs. Not everyone stays with their original religious beliefs they grew up with.

    2. Chemistry is key because how else are you going to want to even want to see the person, let alone spend time with them.

    3. 3 is my max. And that third will be like a commercial ***wife comes out of bathroom*** “Honey guess what!?”

    4. That is very feasible, easy in my eyes.

    5. You too, I know I will.

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