Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

She’s My Sister and I Love Her… July 27, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 8:00 pm

…regardless of how she pisses me off.

My best friend defended her Master’s this past Thursday.  I am SO proud of her.  That’s my girl.  But wait, that’s not all she does that I am in awe of..she is the baby of 3 children (by 10 years) and is consistently making sense and holding it down no matter how tired she is.  She’s been in the same relationship (really puttin in work) for the past five years.   She and her Mama are thisclose.

You go girl!

The only thing I can tell my sister-friend is keep pushing.

And this is yet another thing that’s difficult for Black women in America.  That’s right we have a habit of thinking and saying the following things:

“B!tch, please”

“I’ll just take her man”


“Who does she think she is?”

But, what we aren’t seeing is how are her struggles?  Could I walk a mile in her shoes?  Or even, go girl do the d@mn thing.  We already know that we here at Single Sisters have a zero hater policy, but you know what it’s still happening…

And we should stop it.  It’s not necessary. This is 2009…and they hating really needs to stop…

And just in case you are unsure of how to carry this out let’s look at two Black women who are successful in their sister-girl relationships:

What a conversation this must have been!

What a conversation this must have been!

1. Michelle Obama-I’m still in awe of her and I know a little of her exist in a lot of us.  We’ve just got to know how to bring this out.  I think a part of what makes her such a remarkable sister-friend is her down home charm, indomitable spirit and her overt warmth.  Even her friends from before she married Barack acknowledge that she’s taken them every step of the way with her on her journey..even holding roundtable discussions about the campaign..I’m also super sure that she and Dr. Biden have glasses of wine and dessert to compare notes and discuss…Can’t beat that kinda friendship!

2. Oprah Wynfrey-Not one of us would know Gayle King without Oprah Wyfrey..every time Oprah’s star rises so does Gayle…this sister-friend also pulls her friend right along with her and I cannot be mad at them for this.  And you know what makes it even cooler?  Oprah took Gayle to the White House to meet Michelle!  You’ve got to love it…

So what are your sister-friend rituals?  Do they keep you grounded?  Comfort you?  What element do they add to your life?  And if there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to tell them shoot for it!

And since I don’t wanna leave the men out…what are you and your boys up to?  Are they your wing men?  Can you really count on them and why do you feel ya’ll make friends better than we do?!


15 Responses to “She’s My Sister and I Love Her…”

  1. Cuzzo Says:

    I give a go girl to those I feel deserve that “go girl’n” otherwise I would a fakey mcfakerton. My BFF’s…I’d share the world with them…no questions asked. Other females…if I don’t know u…u might get a “that’s what’s up” if you’re a sister on the come up.

  2. Jaci Says:


    Right! As long as you’re not belittling them it’s good.

    Something else we as black women don’t do is hold each other accountable. I know it can be a lot of “she grown, she can handle herself”, but maybe she can’t or doesn’t realize how detrimental her behavior is. In any case, I’m grateful to my bestie…cuz she calls my a!ss out every.single.time…without regarfd until I get it…

    It’s honesty. It’s refreshing and you never know…you might save a life.

  3. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “Do they keep you grounded”


    “What element do they add to your life? ”

    The ability to just be myself, vulnerable, goofy, stupid..I value loyalty. And I really appreciate that she doesn’t “carry tells” from other friends, even those we have in common. Thats how I know when I;ve hit the bestie jackpot…anybody who would come to me about their friend with sordid details is letting me know what they’d do to me.

  4. Jaci Says:


    Exactly! Mine never brings me drama…nothing we can’t laugh at and never about a friend.

    One of the best things she’s ever said to me was at my birthday dinner…as I was talking she looked at me and said you are still the same (and I don’t know if its all good) and for that moment I was back to the lunch table in hs.

    And you know what she’s still the same class act.

    Days like that keep me sane. In fact, it’s the laughter, the wine and cheese plaque (that I smile @ everyday) and the smell of THAT lotion that show me without a doubt that if every chip fell and I had nothing she’s gonna be right there.

  5. Good post Ms. Jaci!

    I have a lot of girlfriends but very few of them that I allow to get me in my entirety. lol.

    My ace boon coon gives me good solid advice and she’s a mother, married, and has another baby on the way. I love how even though we may only talk once a week, no one gets an attitude for it.

    I love laughing and my girls share this with me, as well as a love for dining out.

    I think some women have issues with sister girl relationships because of something internal.

  6. Ms. Eighty's Baby Says:

    Good morning y’all…

    One of our sister-friend rituals is having a Girls Nite Out one weekend out of the year where it’s just us and there’s all kind of fun filled activities planned throughout the weeekend…..Just to kind of reconnect because some of us may not talk as much during the year and so forth.

    But other than that our rituals our pretty much getting together to celebrate birthdays, hanging out around the holidays, and whenever else a lot of us are in town.

    They add all kinds of elements to my life….And I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world…

  7. 80s: I love that idea… I would like to do that for my girls but unfortunately, all of them don’t mix (I try to be proactive.) lol

  8. ms80sbaby Says:

    @Nick….. And see the thing is I have many good girlfriends.. However, this group of girls is the college crew. So it’s kind of catered to just the 8 of us. This was our 4th one…

    But I hate worrying about whether friends are gonna mix…. I know everytime I go visit my big sis I usually take a bunch of my friends with me….. And then she has her friends so it would be like a group of 10 (maybe more)females hanging out…. But for the most part my invites are extended to the girls who are gonna go with the flow… To avoid the non mixing… LOL

  9. “But for the most part my invites are extended to the girls who are gonna go with the flow… To avoid the non mixing… LOL”

    Exactly!!!!! I think what makes it easier is having girl friends that are kinda on the same walk of life. I wouldn’t bring my married and settled girls around my ones that are still partying every day.

  10. Peyso Says:

    I think what makes all of my friends great are that they arent afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think we all need to be brought to reality sometimes and I rather they do it then some stranger in the street

  11. Reecie Says:

    Well I moved far from where I’m from and went to college so I dont’ see my bffs and sorors like I used to. We are all scattered on the east coast but I’m no longer in driving distance *frown* I can honestly go weeks without talking to them and its no love lost, we just get caught up in our lives! But I did last see my tight stick girls (lol) in Charlotte back in February and we had a ball like we used to do in undergrad! of course if anything is going on, we drop everything to council and cry together if need be. One of my favorites is good for having a full out prayer session with me on the phone! That is my praying buddy for real. Having the ability to see growth in a person and also see the GOD in them is amazing. My girls inspire me daily. We do what works,and luckily most of my friends get along with each other so its really no issue. I just recently got reunited with several at a wedding earlier this month. great times! I prob wont’ see a good mix of sorors and friends again until homecoming in October. I can not wait! I am able to travel a lot more often than my friends, so I try to put time in my schedule to visit when I can.

  12. Shawnta` Says:

    Hey, y’all.

    @Jaci: Good post.

    I love my girlfriends because they are there when I need them & vice versa. We’re more like sisters. I agree with Ms. 80’s…girls’ nights out are crucial. It’s a time to just be with the girls, catch up, share, encourage, inspire/motivate, vent and just have a good time.

  13. Cheekie Says:

    Great post, Jaci. And you done up and put my favoritest song as a featured song for this post, too. *swoons*

    Yeah, I am definitely all for sistah solidarity. In a lot of cases, we all we got. Let’s act like it. We need to stop treating each other like competition (which we’ve been pretty much programmed to do) and start treating each other like what we really are: teammates.

  14. The Lioness Says:

    Great post! In terms of people I am close to, I would say there are about 6 total but I mean these are your bridesmaids at the wedding, baby’s god mamas, leave alone with your man and not worry, if I killed a man they wouldn’t tell- type chicks. The one thing that they all have in common is that they ALWAYS keep it 100 and they are fiercely loyal.

    Our sister-girlfriend ritual is Sunday dinner. We get together and throw down- from the fried chicken to the baked mac & cheese to the lemon pound cake (from scratch). Gotta love it.

  15. goodblkgrl Says:

    Its always important to be there for all your girls….Because you will need them and thats what friends are for…I’ve had girlfriends go MIA the moment the find a man…and back in the game the moment he leaves… We need to maintain these girl relationships not matter what, because sometimes we only have each other…

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