Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

PUT THE PHONE DOWN…… NOW! August 16, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — Sunny @ 9:00 pm

This post is written to you, girl or guy, who insists on calling phones more than once (honorable mention:  if you send a text message after you call and didn’t get an answer).  STOP DOING IT….  it’s obnoxious to the person you are calling (the CALLEE, if you will) and you look pathetic. 

If it is not life or limb, or if something is not on fire, there is no reason to hound!!!!!!    The callee received your call…   You can make sure of this by leaving a message.  If the callee wants to be bothered, they’d pick up the phone or call you back as soon as they are free.   Calling repeatedly does nothing but put you on the “annoying” caller list… and you’ll never get a call answered, thus frustrating you both.

If a man or woman outright TELLS you that they don’t to be bothered (for any or an undisclosed amount of time) LEAVE THEM ALONE.  Let him or her contact you… Do you think you can annoy a person into wanting you?   I believe that if a person is interested in you or what you have to say, he or she is going to make sure you know about it.

 And lastly, have some respect for yourself…. “Never make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs.”  It is THIS SERIOUS!!!!!!      (Holly’s last Friday’s Post, Why Men Withdraw from Relationships sparked a little of this.  I need us to do better! )  You set the precedence for how someone treats you in the entire relationship. If you act PRESSED, you will be treated as such… like a throw away. 

I will only call a person one time…. I’ll leave a message. If you don’t call back, it’s your loss.  If you call back a week later, it’s too late, I’ve folded my hand.  It’s over.    This thing needs to be mutual.  😉

Does anyone disagree/ agree with me?  What do you do as the callee? Or you guilty of over calling? 

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35 Responses to “PUT THE PHONE DOWN…… NOW!”

  1. Danielle Says:

    You know I laughed as I read that because I’m never guilty of over calling…..I get people upset with me because I don’t call enough.

    I guess I’m just not a huge phone person and I know I can get caught up in doing my own thing. I just simply forget if I’m working on homework, the blog, sewing….whatever.

    And honestly it’s no reflection of how I feel about the person….at least I don’t think so. I’m cool with talking once or twice a week….at least in the beginning stages.

    But in regards to your question. I agree with you completely. If someone is interested, they will make time. People always make time for what they want. And even in my case, I do return texts, messages….always if it’s a person I love or have a genuine interest in getting to know.

  2. J Money Says:

    The bottom line is if they call/text then they are interested and if not then they are not interested. It only takes four secs to send a text letting the other person know whats going on with you and then say your busy or whatever. But to not respond at all is like whatever…your not important…I have other things going on.

    What I don’t like is the phone games “I am gonna not call him to see if he really likes, if he calls the he likes me”. If you have to do this then you have your answer. There was never a time when I was truly interested in a woman when I did not initiate or was interested in how her day was going.

    Rule of Thumb:
    If your always calling/texting
    If you get no response within 12hrs
    If your talking mostly on the weekends and no weeknights
    …then you have a problem

  3. “And even in my case, I do return texts, messages….always if it’s a person I love or have a genuine interest in getting to know.”

    @Danielle: Exactly!

    “There was never a time when I was truly interested in a woman when I did not initiate or was interested in how her day was going.”

    @J: It’s good to see a man say this.. A lot of women are hoodwinked into believing that “too busy” is an excuse.

  4. Jaci Says:

    Nick-We’ve talked about this…especially if I am confused…and now well you know what has happened…I just do things like…

    CHANGE MY NUMBER!

    LOL…

    *Disclaimer-I cannot be held responsible for what I do when inebriated…BUT now I understand I am to erase all “important” numbers before I go out.

    And for texting after calling if I need something I usually do this, because I cannot stand to leave VM…I don’t really like how my voice sounds…AND I know if anyone left me a VM in the past 5 years I prolly didn’t hear it 🙂

  5. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “If a man or woman outright TELLS you that they don’t to be bothered (for any or an undisclosed amount of time) LEAVE THEM ALONE. Let him or her contact you… Do you think you can annoy a person into wanting you? I believe that if a person is interested in you or what you have to say, he or she is going to make sure you know about it.”

    I agree with this …its NOTHING more thirsty looking than a woman who can’t get a dam~!n clue. I would think that even while he’s pondering the relationship and pulling away. You are helping him make up his mind by acting..aggressively insane.

  6. thecomebackgirl Says:

    “But to not respond at all is like whatever…your not important…I have other things going on”

    @ J I wonder how come women don’t listen to this COMING FROM A MAN. its simple. There is NO SUCH THING AS BUSY.

  7. “would think that even while he’s pondering the relationship and pulling away. ”

    I agree…. I think pushing yourself on a man does NOTHING but gives him the ammunition to pull away.

  8. @jaci: I’ve never been one to believe that alcohol totally makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do… so drunk dialing never flew by me.

    Do you think you’ll stop? Or is there something that can make you stop?

  9. thecomebackgirl Says:

    when i was little we had a rotary phone like this LOL..

  10. LOL.. I think my aunt did Comeback! I used to play with it… I liked how my fingers felt through the holes.

  11. J Money (first name, last name) Says:

    Pushing yourself on a man (if he cocky) tells him he got u right where he wants u. Your in his back pocket and he feels now if he puts it on u real good he will be riding you like Terrance J riding Khloe!!

  12. Jaci Says:

    @Nicki

    I don’t usually drunk dial…it might be a once in 2 year occurrence…I could not focus on commenting here because of something @ The Treehouse.

    I’m dead…for the day.

  13. Jaci Says:

    LOL.. I think my aunt did Comeback! I used to play with it… I liked how my fingers felt through the holes.

    My granny had one! I used to love sliding my fingers around

  14. J Money (first name, last name) Says:

    @CBG – most people don’t learn until it all comes crashing down. That’s why I think every single should have that plutonic male friend. Not one asking for the tail when your down or has his own gains in mind. There aren’t many of those out there though and I am off the market from those duties LOL!!

  15. *whispers* I think I may have dialed 911 on that phone to see what happens and dayumit they call back. lol

    “it might be a once in 2 year occurrence”

    oh ok

  16. It’s hard having a plutoc male friend J…. I can’t say that I have had any (besides blog life) who hasn’t tried to hit or some’n.

  17. andrea Says:

    GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!! You wrote this for me, didn’t you? Lol!! I hate that I do it, because I know that ninja is sitting there smug and smiling just like J said. It sucks! But why do I do it? Couldn’t tell ya.

  18. I did Andrea. lol. I want the best for you…. bc you are my SISTA!

  19. Jaci Says:

    plutonic? as in from pluto?

    Yaw killin me!

  20. Eightys Baby Says:

    What do you do as the callee?

    I will call and leave a message… If I don’t get a phone call back or any kind of acknowedgement back then it’s a wrap on me ever calling again…. My friends say I need to loosen up. But I’m not trying to be thirsty out here so I’m call with doing it my way. One call……. I’ve called again before and felt like a fool. So I’m never doing that ish again…. So I am not guilty of overcalling….

    I had a met a guy we had started talkin on the phone. One day he was calling me but I was on the phone with my sister and we were in the middle of a conversation and I didn’t even click over to say I’ll call you back I was just thinkin I’ll call him…. This guy proceeded to call me right back. I HATE THAT. It better be an emergency for somebody to be doing that. And among friends/family that is usually the case… But if it’s from a friend and they don’t want anything I’m pissed…. DO NOT CALL ME BACK TO BACK. That irritates the ish out of me. I’m not blind I can see that you called!!!!!

  21. “This guy proceeded to call me right back. I HATE THAT. It better be an emergency for somebody to be doing that. And among friends/family that is usually the case… But if it’s from a friend and they don’t want anything I’m pissed…. DO NOT CALL ME BACK TO BACK. T”

    That pisses me off!!!!!!

  22. miss t-lee Says:

    As anyone in my life knows (suitors, friends, family) I call twice. You get the original phone call, normally with a voice mail. If I don’t hear from you within 24 hours, you will get a 2nd phone call, without voicemail.

    If you don’t call back after that, I won’t be hearing from you unless you call, because I will not call back. Everyone is busy these days, so that “I’m so busy” excuse doesn’t fly ’round chea. Miss me with that one. I make every effort to return calls within a reasonable amount of time, you should too.

  23. Anna Says:

    See. This mess right here is why I am extra thankful to not be single. Almost everyone I talk to is close to me, so my phone etiquette is off. When someone new came into my life I had no idea of how to deal. Should I never call? Should I call, but then never call again? Should I call 2x and then never again? The only time I got caught calling a man out of order was when I was dykmatized. He had a girl seeing stars and planets, so I forgave myself for being thirsty. After all – he didn’t have relationship potential, he was a supplier just like my old weed man.

    And about that drunk dial: Niki, it really isn’t that hard to get into the situation. All you really need is something that you wanted to get off your chest, too much to drink, and a drunk friend to egg you on. Next thing you know your clumsy fingers are on the phone to “give someone a piece of your mind” or “get you a piece.” Next morning you’re looking at your phone like, “who the hell texted me at 3:45am, talmbout ‘well, come over sexy’??”

    *moment of reflection*

    I was bad when I was younger!

  24. “He had a girl seeing stars and planets, so I forgave myself for being thirsty”

    LMAO!!!! It’s not really a game you have to play in calls… But I think the other person should be just as “thirsty,” for you as you are for them…. the problem I am focusing on are the people that are putting themselves out there without reciprocation. Some people do it…

    “Next morning you’re looking at your phone like, “who the hell texted me at 3:45am, talmbout ‘well, come over sexy’??” ”

    Anna, I still can’t do it.. I think people blame being drunk on too much.

  25. The Sphinx Says:

    OMG! I ABSOLUTELY agree! There’s nothing worse than an annoying ass caller. LEAVE ME THE FU@K alone, dude!
    I even have a girl friend who is like that. She will call about 3 or 4 times back to back. If I don’t answer the damn phone the first two times, what makes you think I’m going to answer on the third time? I used to send that ish straight to voicemail, but realized that might be a bit mean. But damn, for my friends: I’m not your damn man! Don’t be calling my phone like that! The more you call, the more you ruin your chances that I’m going to want to deal with you in the future. On any level. I’ve even cut off clients for this very reason. I hate it.

    For the men, if it’s not a serious emergency (i.e. if you’re not trying to give me the biznaz — or some money, lol — on the spot), then don’t be blowing me up like that. NOTHING is that damn serious. Get a life!

  26. ” used to send that ish straight to voicemail, but realized that might be a bit mean”

    Honey I don’t think it’s mean at all. lol. It’s great next to the alternative (them getting cursed out!!!!)

  27. Chan Says:

    I have been guilty of being a “call-backer”, but as I am maturing I see that if someone is not respondng the first time, or couple there after…they are not interested…

    A rule I am learning to live by… if a person is interested in you, they will take the time out to call,txt,send a e-mail, etc. This goes for friendship(s) also.

    Good post!

  28. andrea Says:

    Great post! Love this site! I’m learning! Been out of the dating scene for a WHILE, and its brutal out there! Sometimes I delete numbers so I won’t be tempted. I agree, if a man wants to see you, talk to you, he will make time.

  29. zipcodes Says:

    great post It’s ROCK, dude..!! Good job

  30. Thanks Chan, Andrea and Zipcodes… welcome to the blog. 😉

  31. I’ve never overcalled a woman, actually, I make sure I have a ……healthy database so this type of thing doesn’t occur. Once I call (I usually text) and she doesn’t answer, i just move on to the next phone number. When I text, I text like 20 women at a time.

  32. @ undressingHer: Oh-kay, Playa playa, 😉

  33. THanks Patricia… Welcome to the blog and come again.

  34. I think what she left was spam Nicki. Make you sure you get an anti-spam plugin for wordpress.

  35. Oh wow, I had no clue.. Good looking out, undressingHer.


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