Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Why Can’t Love Happen? September 7, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 8:00 pm

In my magazine readings I often spot many articles about Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie.  These resident do gooders and parents to a basketball starting line up seem to be living their lives in perpetual bliss.  Angelina has resorted to being mother instead of starlet and sexpot and Brad is all in the forefront (with people actually pushing for him running for mayor of New Orleans…) but there’s one casualty as a result of their break up.

Jennifer Aniston

Now we’ve always known Jen to be friendly but in recent years (read: since Brad got with Angie) it’s gotten a little scary.  I’m actually excited to see her new movie because I like her as an actress, but I am also anxious to see what kinda chemistry she had with her male co-star.  Why?  Because in every single movie Jen has put out since Brad left she cozies up to the male lead, but it never last.  So…I am left to ponder if it is a publicity stunt or if she really does have genuine feelings for these Hollywood Casanovas.

However…if it’s not the co-stars she’s been dating it was John Mayer (who I find adorable) and while many people think that the way he broke things off with Jen and then led her on was completely wrong I disagree.  I’m probably breaking Yaya code 32.40-11 for this but I really believe Jen has some type of neuroses that keeps her from keeping a decent upright guy.  Well…actually it seems she changes them from being decent and upright to being complete and total buttholes.

So anyways, this kinda got me to thinking…why do these men keep leaving a reasonably attractive and ‘independent’ woman?  Could it be because for all of her successes and her financial prosperity that she is not as independent as we may think.  To me, she’s the poster child for dependence and desperation (much like Three Ways discussed a couple of weeks ago).  She is needy and clingy and likely has just a smidgen of low self esteem (I dunno why though)

So ladies and gents any idea of what’s wrong with Ms. Aniston?  Have any of you ladies experienced this dating issue where you can seemingly never get and keep a good guy?  Is it them or us?  And how do emotions play a part in this?

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26 Responses to “Why Can’t Love Happen?”

  1. I never knew how John broke up with her- perhaps I will google.

    Anywho, I can’t really say if something is wrong with them (because I am also including Halle Berry) or if they just keep choosing the wrong men.

    I have been in the same situation myself and I don’t think there was anything wrong with me, I just kept making the wrong choices.

  2. Mikki Says:

    Stupid men is all i can chalk it up to lol

  3. thats a good question. I think part of Jen’s “problem” is that she is a victim of type casting (not just on screen) but in her own personal life. People have expected her to have challenges in love on screen…thats her claim to fame…but I think some of it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy and many people on and off screen has bought into what she’s “created”.

    And unfortunately many women, instead of defending and examining what’s happening, reinforce her situation by suggesting something is in fact wrong with her, which in turn reinforces the woman who asks HER OWN TERRIBLE choices.

    because in order for another woman to ask the whys? suggests you always need a man at every waking moment of your life? If you don’t have one at any point in time “something has to be wrong with you” and reinforces bad decisions, “I dont want to be like Jen, so let me find a man, any man will do.

    Like Sunny, I’ve had my own battle wounds. But I can’t choosing the same types of men..when again i started to look at my own whys…my circumstance changed.

  4. (Type too fast LOL)

    thats a good question. I think part of Jen’s “problem” is that she is a victim of type casting (not just on screen) but in her own personal life. People have expected her to have challenges in love on screen…thats her claim to fame…but I think some of it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy and many people on and off screen HAVE bought into what she’s “created”.

    And unfortunately many women, instead of defending and examining what’s happening, reinforce her situation in their own lives by suggesting something is in fact wrong with her, which in turn reinforces that woman’s own terrible choices.

    because in order for another woman to ask the whys? suggests you always need a man at every waking moment of your life? If you don’t have one at any point in time “something has to be wrong with you” and reinforces bad decisions, “I dont want to be like Jen, so let me find a man, any man will do.

    Like Sunny, I’ve had my own battle wounds. But it came with choosing the same types of men..when again i started to look at my own shyt…my circumstance changed.

  5. “If you don’t have one at any point in time “something has to be wrong with you” ”

    I agree- I never understood that question.. whenever I first meet a guy, a lot of them asked, “why are you single/ or unmarried?” I never knew the appropriate way to answer that, I don’t think there IS an appropriate way to answer that.

  6. cammie Says:

    I think he brokeup with her (Jen) for much of what you said here, she was a little to independent, (financially that is), She does seem to be emotional and the main reason I understand was that he wanted childen and she didn’t.

    I don’t think you should rearrange your whole life for anyone. If your standards and goals are not the same–keep it moving. If not , you lose who you are in the relationship and it’s not good for you or the other person. I know all too well.

  7. Eightys Baby Says:

    I agree- I never understood that question.. whenever I first meet a guy, a lot of them asked, “why are you single/ or unmarried?” I never knew the appropriate way to answer that, I don’t think there IS an appropriate way to answer that.

    @Nick… I agree w/ your statement on this. W/ me being single I hate to be asked this question…

  8. Jaci Says:

    Good morning ladies.

    First off, I want to say I in no way believe there’s anything wrong with Jen Aniston, rather there was a little blip in People mag insinuating that people in general have a problem with Jennifer.

    @Nicki

    John broke it off with her via Twitter-in what was likely a very cryptic manner, lol…if you’ve never seen his tweets google his page…it is a disaster….

    @Mik

    Why do you chalk it up to stupid men? I chalk it (some of it rather) up to b!tchy women.

    @cammie
    hi and welcome. i do think jen was kinda clingy and emotional. i couldn’t say that the financial independence is as much of a problem because angie’s financial independent too…but she shows her softer side as a mother–all that energy is not flowing towards him.

    @theCBG

    I’m just going to say–no woman needs a man at all points of his life…that’s just not the way it works…i think you have to have moments in time where you’re a free agent…(a phrase that got me in a lot of trouble last week) but i think it’s all a part of the natural order of things.

  9. “vJohn broke it off with her via Twitter-in what was likely a very cryptic manner, lol…if you’ve never seen his tweets google his page…it is a disaster….”

    Oh wow!!!!! and wow- that’s a- hole behavior.. one has to wonder was he kinda a-holish from the start though????

  10. Jaci Says:

    @Nicki

    i do think he was kinda an a-hole from the beginning but then i also have a feeling that she kinda likes that kinda behavior (just based on the other men she has dated)

  11. “i do think he was kinda an a-hole from the beginning but then i also have a feeling that she kinda likes that kinda behavior (just based on the other men she has dated)”

    Exactly! Attracting/ being attracted to the wrong men from jump. She needs to break the cycle.

  12. Jaci Says:

    Best way to break the cycle…

    STOP DATING CO-STARS

    Get a regular man!

  13. Lady K Says:

    Hi All!! I heart Jennifer Aniston like no other. But why are most of us assuming the problem is her. None of us know her personally to say it’s all her fault and she’s codependent and emotionally…what are some of you basing that on? Do you call her and ask her? Are you in her immediate social circle? Most people’s opinion are just the tabloid magazines that you read..that are labeling her lonely and desparate..Puhleeezeeee. So none of you knew a woman in your whole entire life that had breakups and hooked up with losers?? I find that extremely hard to believe…yes at some point a person has to be accountable for his/her choices..but to label her as desparate and needy…i think that’s highly unfair. Low self-esteem–really?? How did you conclude that? We’re zeroing in on her..because that’s what the tabloids do as well…Jenn actually makes jokes about herself being referred to as “single and lonely.” Nobody says a thing about the bachelors like Clooney and his revolving door of women..but when it comes to a female there’s this unfaif stigma..oh she can’t keep a man, something HAS to be wrong with her..blah blah…sorry for the rant..but as I said..I heart Jenn and her romantic efforts are no different than the rest of us trying to navigate through life and find that special someone…her mistakes (love trials) are just on display for the world to see

  14. Welcome to the blog, Lady K!

  15. Jaci Says:

    @Lady K

    Welcome and no problem feel free to rant here. I love Jen too. But I see a lot of her jumping from guy to guy in an effort to find true love and there’s nothing wrong with that especially since we all do it, however…Jen’s problem is that it all goes on in the public eye & I do think some of it is her not owning her own mistakes…to me and this is only my opinion she doesn’t seem like she’s grown any in the last ten years and it’s that kinda stagnation that is the problem.

    And that’s true for not just women, but men too…I saw that you brought up George Clooney–he has been some relationships that last longer than it takes to film a movie AND he stays a bit more out of the spotlight with his…

    ..And as always there remains the great fact that men and women have different societal expectations and that’s just not gonna change whether we want it to or not…

  16. I’ll be the male point of view on this joint (sometimes you gotta walk in the beautyshop and bust all that bad guy ish up).

    So far I’ve read:

    Could it be because for all of her successes and her financial prosperity – CBG

    because in order for another woman to ask the whys? suggests you always need a man at every waking moment of your life? If you don’t have one at any point in time “something has to be wrong with you” and reinforces bad decisions, “I dont want to be like Jen, so let me find a man, any man will do.- CBG

    I think he brokeup with her (Jen) for much of what you said here, she was a little to independent, (financially that is), She does seem to be emotional and the main reason I understand was that he wanted childen and she didn’t. -CBG

    that’s a- hole behavior – NikkiSunshine

    Exactly! Attracting/ being attracted to the wrong men from jump. She needs to break the cycle. – Nikki

    Nobody says a thing about the bachelors like Clooney and his revolving door of women. – Lady K

    Here’s a thought. . . .

    What if that heffa just crazy?

    Don’t get me wrong, I love Jen too. From a GQ Mag Cover Spread (DEC ’08 I believe) perspective that is. I don’t buy the afraid of her success line (all her beau’s are paid out the whazoo(CBG)), she probably wouldn’t get the “i need a man” stereotype if she wasn’t always screaming about needing a man (CBG). What if she’s a relationship a$$hole (doesn’t that solicit a a-hole breakup (Nikki)). And nobody clammors about Clooney because he’s not running around like “I’m lonely, I’m lonely” (Lady K). Dude on that pimp ish and EVERYONE knows it.

    Maybe it is her. Maybe she’s not prepared, ready, at a point in her life that being in a relationship would work regardless of what type of dude she meets. Recognizing that might be her best bet at eventually finding love.

    End rant.

  17. Jaci Says:

    @Rob

    Welcome back my friend.

    And thank you for saying what I wanna say but would have my yaya probation lengthened.

  18. I think George Clooney has outright declared that he wouldn’t be getting married also.

  19. @Robert: I think her being nuts could be a possiblity, but I just can’t see her being nuts. I dunno- perhaps bc she’s been so successful at what she does. I wouldn’t think the directors would keep calling her back if she was a nutjob.

    If she’s making bad choices, that’s just a cycle that she’s gonna have to break.

  20. @Nicki:

    Nutty people who are great at what they do:

    1. Micheal Jackson – nutty as hell, pop icon.
    2. OJ Simpson – nutty, nut, nut nut. But can run that there ball!
    3. Whitney Houston – nutty enough to try crack . . . and Bobby!
    4. George Bush – nutty to the N’th degree . . . great at politics!
    5. Rush Limbaugh – NUT! Great conservative talk host.
    6. Dennis Rodman – NUT! Great rebounder.

  21. V Renee Says:

    I don’t KNOW Jen, but I do get the feeling that she may be slightly nutty. Or have baggage that she carries from one relationship to the next. Which is human. And I do think that she picks men that are wrong for her. Like Nicki mentioned, the same with Halle.

  22. @jaci: yeah, gotta check in more. job actually expects me to work now. what are they thinking?

    @vrenee:

    any woman’s relationship woes will continue if their “finding a mate” process always starts with the male . . . and not herself.

    and she isn’t picking her man. i see a lot of women who never “pick” her man (self blog promotion: to choose or to be chosen) because they believe in said societal norms.

    in order to choose someone who’s good for you . . . you must know yourself well enough to know what’s good and bad, complementary or clashing. people need to start learning themselves before they seek out others.

  23. Jaci Says:

    @rob

    how dare they expect you to work? you should be paid for commenting! (we’d all be millionaires)

    and yes women need to make the process start with them…really look within and spend some personal time reflecting on who you are as a woman and what you stand for.

    that’s really the only way…

    hey V !

  24. The Sphinx Says:

    @ the observation that he was a-holish from the beginning.
    I agree with some of the others on here. These men don’t drastically change overnight. Women know what they are getting into before they get into it. These men are people she worked with before, and at some point during the relationship, they started to show their asses. It became Jen’s problem when she decided to stay and put up with it. I’d add Halle Berry to the list too. Many people say something’s wrong with her bcuz she “can’t keep a man” either. I think that’s so speculative. We don’t know these people, and we don’t know what happened in their relationships. But it’s like blaming the victim – is it also her fault that she got beat by Wesley Snipes, and that Eric Benet cheated on her?

    On the other hand, I think it’s possible to be a perfectionist to a fault. My friend had a soror who was very pretty. And that girl had serious issues. Nothing she did ever seemed to be right by her parents, and she developed eating disorders, and relationship self esteem issues (always attracting crazy men, and stalking them, being paranoid thinking they’re cheating, etc). Maybe when you perceive yourself as being held to a different/higher standard, it becomes too much of a burden, and you become a perfectionist to your own detriment. Maybe this happened to Halle?

    Jen doesn’t seem to be that type to me though. Seems like she just attracts the wrong man.

  25. Sphinx: U made a really good point (re: perfectionist).. I think that could have something to do with it.


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