Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Receiving Compliments? September 20, 2009

Filed under: Community Issues,Self Love,self-confidence — Sunny @ 9:00 pm
Tags: , ,

 

Today’s post is coming from Danielle at It\’s So Nice to Be Nice.  I enjoyed reading it so, I wanted to repost! 

I got a new hairstyle a couple of weeks ago and since then I’ve received numerous compliments from random strangers, men and women alike. In BlockBuster, at work, the grocery store, school, wherever….it’s been happening daily.

And I usually reply with a smile and a short, “Thank You,” as I walk away.

Recently, at a bakery, however, two women wanted to know if it was real, who did it, and if they could get the stylist’s number. We laughed and talked for a while, with me complimenting them on their long natural locks.

I’ll admit, I enjoy the attention, the compliments, and nice looks in my direction, but there’s another side of me that wonders if I should even care….if caring gives their words validity and their silence power on a bad hair day….

And as i type this, I wonder why this is  really a problem. I give sincere compliments all the time. So I should be able to receive them right?

And in the past, I was able to….now it just seems like it’s a bit too much….lol

Any thoughts? How do you feel about compliments? Do you give them often? Are you able to receive them or do you feel the need to give a compliment in return?

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29 Responses to “Receiving Compliments?”

  1. I love compliments and I give them often…. I used to feel the need to give a compliment in return but that’s really not genuine.. so now, a simple thank you will do.

  2. andrea Says:

    I used to have a problem receiving comploments. I would downplay them or laugh them off. Sometimes I think it has to do with how you feel about yourself at the time. But now I’m able to smile and say ‘thank you’!

  3. “I got a new hairstyle a couple of weeks ago and since then I’ve received numerous compliments from random strangers, men and women alike. In BlockBuster, at work, the grocery store, school, wherever….it’s been happening daily.”

    I love when that happens..post on FB!!!

    “….if caring gives their words validity and their silence power on a bad hair day…”

    This is deep, I must marinate!!!

    “How do you feel about compliments? Do you give them often? Are you able to receive them or do you feel the need to give a compliment in return?”

    I love giving and receiving compliments. I know its hard for black women to give other black women props sometimes so its nice to experience and give the love. Sometimes I am like “you think so?” or “this old thing?” …like second guessing people’s compliments but i guess thats just my shyt i need to work through.

  4. @andrea: “Sometimes I think it has to do with how you feel about yourself at the time”

    I agree….

    “Sometimes I am like “you think so?” or “this old thing?” …like second guessing people’s compliments but i guess thats just my shyt i need to work through.”

    @thecomebackgirl: IT really is. lol.. because I don’t think people (regular ones anyway) just go around giving compliments to those that don’t deserve it.

  5. “….if caring gives their words validity and their silence power on a bad hair day…”

    and again I’m reminded about how different men and women think about stuff. it’s hard for me to even grasp this post. who knew that so much cohesive though went into receiving a compliment. . . lol

  6. Mikki Says:

    Yesterday I gave this girl a compliment in church , I had been meaning to tell her since a few weeks ago when I first saw her I couldn’t take my eyes off her because her hair was cute and her outfit the whole nine was so fresh!

    she has had something stylish on every sunday so yesterday I got a chance to met her and tell her i thought she was beautiful. her personality matches her style too which is always an even more beautiful thang.

    I love compliments!!!

  7. @Mik: That’s fabulous!

  8. @Rob: LOL. U know how women are- we naturally analyze things.

  9. Peyso Says:

    I give compliments to my closest friends, family and complete strangers. My friends & family prolly wont take them the wrong way and I could care less how I perfect stranger took it.

  10. @Men: Do yaw feel weird about complimenting men that you don’t know?

  11. Peyso Says:

    @ Nicki –

    I do sometimes, b/c men look at you like you’re hitting on them. I’ll comment on a dude’s clothes but never his looks.

  12. “I do sometimes, b/c men look at you like you’re hitting on them. I’ll comment on a dude’s clothes but never his looks.”

    @Peyso: Got you…. I wonder if that is something that can be changed. Like were did men learn that from (automatically thinking you are hitting on them)

  13. V Renee Says:

    I’ve never had a problem giving or receiving compliments. When given, I never question the compliment, I just say thank you. Nor do I feel the need to reciprocate, unless it’s something that I truly like. I also have NO problem giving compliments, and will in a heartbeat.

    Once a compliment is received, I very rarely think about it later. Wait I take that back, it always warms my heart to hear a compliment from a child. Whenever that has occured, I’ve smiled so hard and remembered it down the line.

    I think it’s something about having short hair, where people seem to take notice and make comments all the time. Ha!

  14. “I think it’s something about having short hair, where people seem to take notice and make comments all the time. Ha!”

    I think short hair shows off your face more!

  15. LastTrainToParis Says:

    I don’t have a problem with giving or receiving compliments. I think staraight men have a homo-phobia when it comes to giving another man compliment. I thnk women would react the same way a man would react if they heard another man give another man a compliment on his looks.

  16. @LTTP: I agree- I think some of us would prolly give yaw a “how u don'” look. But seriously, it shouldn’t be that way.

  17. Cheekie Says:

    “How do you feel about compliments? Do you give them often? Are you able to receive them or do you feel the need to give a compliment in return?”

    I love compliments, giving and receiving them. I do think about the dynamic of receiving one and then feeling compelled to give one back. I always think those feel insincere so I try not to give one unless I really mean it…unless they are wearing something or have done something to their appearance that is so appealing to me, I must speak on it.

    I also try to make a point to compliment those who seem to be having a bad day. Or at least ask say, “Have a nice day”. Never know what compliment or comment can do for a person.

    As far as compliments from the other sex? I welcome them as long as they’re respectful. Because if they’re disrespectful? Then, I don’t take it as a compliment, technically.

  18. “Because if they’re disrespectful? Then, I don’t take it as a compliment, technically.”

    @Cheekie: Very true.. I think some men confuse what a real compliment is.. it’s not a grunt or a “DAYUM” as a woman walks past.

  19. I love compliments!! I also know how to give and receive too!!!

  20. Eightys Baby Says:

    My problem with compliments is that a lot of times I feel like I am supposed to say something. For example, if someone shows me a pic of a baby or something then I feel like I’m supposed to say that’s a cute baby even though I think all newborns are a little funny lookin’……. And then too walking in someone’s place for the first time. I sit there and go back and forth with myself like I should probably give a compliment just because.

    I don’t think I have a problem giving compliments I just want it to be genuine…And I can admit that sometimes they’re not.

  21. I feel ya 80’s with babies that I don’t think are too cute I just awwwww…..

  22. “And I can admit that sometimes they’re not.”

    @80s: I agree in the case of a child especially… usually, if it’s not a cutie, I’ll just say, “aaawwwww.” lol. I try not to lie about it.

  23. V Renee Says:

    For example, if someone shows me a pic of a baby or something then I feel like I’m supposed to say that’s a cute baby even though I think all newborns are a little funny lookin’ .

    I am soooooooo weak at this. My go-to phrase is “awwww he/she looks so sweet”. Which is true, because most babies are sweet.

  24. “My go-to phrase is “awwww he/she looks so sweet”. Which is true, because most babies are sweet.”

    @V: LMAO.. Good save!

  25. I love to compliment women. Even if I’m not attracted to them, I still compliment them. There has to be SOMETHING that looks nice. Maybe she’s not my type in the face, but her smile is nice. Or she doesn’t have a “body” (meaning thickness), but her style is on point. I figure there are enough people, both male and female, spreading the negativity, evil thoughts, and hate. I try to just make someone smile every once in a while.

    as far as getting them, physically, I get them. But as far as my character, I usually get “ur an asshole”, “ur a manwhore”, “ur a jerk”, “ur so mean”, etc…. I must be everything bad because I won’t settle down with one woman. Seems odd that it comes from the same women that mess with me.

  26. That’s a great, positive thing that you are doing, undressingHer.. sometimes a compliment is all it takes to make someone’s day a little better.

    “must be everything bad because I won’t settle down with one woman. Seems odd that it comes from the same women that mess with me.”

    I don’t think any of those things they are calling you apply unless you are lying… if you are being honest, then I’d say they are mad just because they cant’ have u.

  27. in that case…

    nice legs Nikki.

    I know I’m not a bad dude, not a “good” one either, but definitely not bad. As you said, they just want me to commit to them, which I won’t….and i’m honest about it.

  28. @undressingHer: Thanks!

    Sometimes we can’t handle the truth… it’s something I had to learn as an adult…. so don’t sweat it!

  29. Cynthia Says:

    I try to give compliments as much as i receive them.


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