Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

September 22, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 7:50 am

I’m not going to do what I wanted to do for today because this young lady’s story completely touched my heart.  I want everyone to check this out…and please let me know what you think.

If you disagree with what has happened to this girl, please please please sign this Petition..

Do you think the justice system has gone too far?  Why are our children suffering?

 

*******12:03pm:  Petition Link Updated*****

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32 Responses to “”

  1. The Comeback Girl Says:

    wow..

    having a relative in prison who really deserves to be there..its tough watching this mostly because how do you measure punishment for a crime committed by someone who was sex!ually abused.

    I’d be interested in reading the details to the case. I’m sure there is alot more to this story.

  2. I am amazed by the strength that she shows in the 6 minutes of this video. She doesn’t seem to be angry. I would be pissed.

    I wish I could be apalled by this occurence but it’s regularity doesn’t permit me to be. Our punishment system isn’t necessarily set up to achieve the rehabilitation goals that it so often touts. It in actuality encourages further wrong doing since it ostracizes those who actually make an effort at change just as it would those who have no intent or desire to change. The scarlet letter of a federal prison sentence doesn’t wear away regardless of how much change you accomplish, good you create or success you achieve. What’s more astonishing is despite what you may become after your crime, the only thing that matters is the fact that you got caught performing the crime. Had you not been caught or had legal defense to get you off, you wouldn’t have to bear the cross of your actions. Yet we have this asinine idea that our system is developed to discourage such crime versus encourage not being caught after performing such crime.

    This young (once young . . man, she’s 29 now) lady was failed more than once by our Great America. I have to assume that somewhere in the record someone had the opportunity to step in and remove her from her mother prior to even being engaged by her future PIMP, prior to be prostituted, sexually assaulted, mistreated and abused and definitely prior to her committing a crime that was perhaps her only means of escaping a life of imprisonment by G.G. anyhow. America failed her again by telling her that all of that was her fault.

  3. I am with Comeback.. I’d love to hear more… but going from only what’s she’s saying, Rob has a great point.

    She was failed as a child…. I am wondering did her mama introduce her to this man- like how did she even get in contact with him? Where in the hell is her mama now?

    She was only a child that had to grow up entirely too soon. The judge told her she lacked moral scruples, but correct me if I’m wrong, all of those things are LEARNED behaviors. It is obvious she had no one to learn from.

  4. The Comeback Girl Says:

    Ok Jackson where are you?

  5. V Renee Says:

    Ummmm wow. This story is just sad all around. Life WITHOUT parole, for a crime committed as a teenager. WOW. The justice system is soooooo flawed that it’s scary. I feel so sorry for her. She should write a book.

  6. Jaci Says:

    I’m here…

  7. Comeback Girl-Californicatin' Says:

    Im still looking for more information about her case though. I dunno..having someone whose in my family who (is also a woman) and committed a violent crime I feel two ways about this-though the circumstances appear to be very different.

    re: Sarah and my cousin..to me should she be paroled (which is likely to happen in BOTH cases) my issue would be of trust. Everyone seems to be approaching this from a philosphical issue..im looking at it purely as a personal matter.

    My issue would be..say I pi@ss you off. Say I do something that you don’t agree with, will your inclination be that of resorting to violence/murder. Can people change on that deep dark level? regardless of age? or is that inclination dormant somewhere?

    Those are my questions particularly to my cousin..who asked me about unconditional love two weeks ago..its a tough question to answer and i’ve already told her..i don’t trust her.

  8. the link in the article is broken. there are two http://'s

    as for the article…..I’m honestly too angry to type what I want to and still have it make sense. I will also be posting this on my website and any others I can get to post it.

    on some real shit, any girl that was molested should be able to legally kill the dude who molested her, period.

  9. Comeback Girl-Californicatin' Says:

    “on some real shit, any girl that was molested should be able to legally kill the dude who molested her, period.”

    I disagree with this. Bad shyt happens to people every day, I don’t think I would raise a child to make distinctions between when its ok to murder and when its not. Its never ok. Period.

    For three years after they developed some really weird relationship, my thing is, if you could plot to kill dude, why couldn’t you have plotted to go to authorities. Why couldn’t you have plotted to pick up the phone and call someone for help. Why couldn’t you have plotted to take a greyhound bus far away?

  10. Peyso Says:

    IMHO life w/o parole is pretty steep. I think a person’s past should not come into play in the verdict of a crime. However, it should definitely be at the forefront of the conversation during a sentencing hearing. This woman does not need to be in hail forever. She probably needs to be in some type of program.

  11. V Renee Says:

    ” For three years after they developed some really weird relationship, my thing is, if you could plot to kill dude, why couldn’t you have plotted to go to authorities. Why couldn’t you have plotted to pick up the phone and call someone for help. Why couldn’t you have plotted to take a greyhound bus far away? ”

    I agree with this in theory. But at the same time, I can see how someone in that position can snap and become consumed with physically harming their abuser.

    I can’t speak for Sara, but I can imagine, that if everyone around you has failed you, how you can lose hope and faith in ANYONE. Not saying it’s right. Many things aren’t right. I just can empathize with her. I’ve never been sexually abused (and I thank the Lord), so I don’t know what her mental state was. I can take an educated guess and say it was f*cked up though.

    Also if you’ve been a victim of abuse for years, your mental devolpment is not on par with others your age. While we can say why didn’t she plot to call authorities or get on a greyhound, I’m sure that never crossed her mind. Maybe the authorities failed her in the past. Maybe she felt she had no where to go.

    I agree she should be punished. But life without parole FOR A CHILD is way too extreme. Especially when I see adults get off all the time for murder. Or they at least get a chance to go before a parole board. I don’t think anyone thinks she shouldn’t have went to jail. Just that the punishment did not fit the crime.

    I still want to know how she killed him though.

  12. V Renee Says:

    **Just that the punishment did not fit the crime. ,<- considering the circumstances.

  13. i think it’s very apparent that she was perhaps a bit meticulous in her planning which brought the judge to his decision. And that may mean that she deserves a lengthy sentence. But the circumstances around any decision that we make must be taken into account. we do this already. to take another’s life is a unforgiveable sin, yet we absolve and remit people of this sin when we see fit (see: war in Iraq, the crusades, witchhunts, etc,etc). to ignore the circumstance in this case and not any other is quite hippocritical of our legal/societal system.

    @cbg: re “or is that inclination dormant somewhere?” that inclination to kill a person lies within all of us. it’s the circumstances that we must explore to determine if a killer that kills because his/her life or family’s life was in danger versus the person that kills for the pleasure of the kill or just due to the disregard for life itself. I don’t think we can say that because the ability to kill may lie dormant within you, you deserve the punishment you’re receiving. I don’t have a desire to kill anyone but I very well could see myself doing it if the circumstances saw fit (someone was in the act of – not just threatening – trying to take my life, my wife’s life, my family’s life or I was in immediate harms way for which I had absolutely no other option ).

  14. V Renee Says:

    “but I very well could see myself doing it if the circumstances saw fit”

    Me too! I know there are certain circumstances in which I could kill. And I agree in that everyone has that in them.

  15. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “I can’t speak for Sara, but I can imagine, that if everyone around you has failed you, how you can lose hope and faith in ANYONE. Not saying it’s right. Many things aren’t right. I just can empathize with her”

    @ Vroom I can empathize too..but with the issue of parole..would you hire her? would you let someonen like that live with you..everyone is talking about this from a really objective standpoint and her being all the way in Cali. But would you let someone like her enter your personal space?

  16. The Comeback Girl Says:

    ““but I very well could see myself doing it if the circumstances saw fit” ”

    I don’t think i could a) because I don’t really know the details of the case b) as RW suggests there seems to be, from her own mouth, some element of planning to murder someone. This doesn’t seem to be a case of, he’s raping me and now I have to get away right now.

    If it was about planning to kill someone after three years of being connected to them..there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed and it doesn’t go away with parole. And may not even be easily addressed with treatment. Sure she doesn’t desereved to be locked up forever, but prison has a socliazation process too…the interviewer asked her about going to school and stuff and there and she suggested, “bettering myself for prison doesn’t make sense” (loose paraphrase)..that right there indicates the prison process has already started…

    and the longer she stays..the longer she will belong there..if that makes sense.

  17. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “I don’t have a desire to kill anyone but I very well could see myself doing it if the circumstances saw fit (someone was in the act of – not just threatening – trying to take my life, my wife’s life, my family’s life or I was in immediate harms way for which I had absolutely no other option ).”

    @ RW and I agree…my statement to upthread was how you raise kids..and Im not gonna tell a child “well this type of killing is acceptable” and this isn’t. Like I said..there appears to be more to this case..and what I find troubling is for bloggers to cosign something without all the complete facts.

  18. Eightys Baby Says:

    would you let someonen like that live with you..everyone is talking about this from a really objective standpoint and her being all the way in Cali. But would you let someone like her enter your personal space?

    I can’t see the link….. So I can’t comment on her case

    @Comeback..But I can answer the questions that you’ve asked V….. My dad has a good friend that has killed TWO different times. Both times were in regards to someone hurting his family members. Now all of us talk about him like he can’t just go around killing people and my dad had a serious dilemma with continuing this friendship or not. But at the end of the day he’s not necessarily a bad person. In those situations he was driven to kill and felt he was justified.

    Since his most recent release, he is always coming over my parents house. Am I scared of him? No. Do I have a problem with him in my personal space? No. Do I instantly think Killer? No.

    Now will I cross him???? Hell Naw… LOL

  19. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “Since his most recent release, he is always coming over my parents house. Am I scared of him? No. Do I have a problem with him in my personal space? No. Do I instantly think Killer? No.

    Now will I cross him???? Hell Naw… LOL

    You better than me..twice????…i dunno if I would feel comfortable around him. I mean what if he want off about his chicken being too cold??? And he was like well my wife doesn’t make it like that..and someone says ..well you’re wife ain’t make it..

    BOOM!!!!!!!! lol..im just kidding sort of..

  20. re: “would you hire her? would you let someonen like that live with you..everyone is talking about this from a really objective standpoint and her being all the way in Cali. But would you let someone like her enter your personal space?”

    isn’the supposed objective of our rehabilitation system to provide such that a second chance is viable? If it isn’t, what is the purpose of putting them in prison and costing us as taxpayers so much money? if the answer to any of these questions isn’t “yes”, why lock them up at all? If they commit the crime of murder, for which by commiting the crime they have shown that they aren’t in the future hireable or to be trusted, why not send them directly to lethal injection? the cost of the needle is far less than that of the attempt at rehabilitiation. Especially if we’re not willing to believe that our rehabilitation efforts are good enough to trust them in our personal space or hire them in the future.

    this is a fallacy in our “rehabilitation” sytem. do the crime, do the time. and when you get out, because we feel that your crime was heinous enough not to trust you or hire you, you have very little option but to either live a substandard life or consider other crime as a means to getting what you want/need in life.

    let’s lessen the charge. i currently have a felony on my record for being caught with small amounts of crack cocaine when I was 16 years old with the intent to distribute. I got off with three years probabation. I have since finished undergrad and grad school, am a productive citizen and corportate america, am married and building a life formyself. and i like to blog. I despise that I have to check that little box and prove my self worth everytime I fill out an application. I have been luck in that my other merits have outweighed to this point the one poor decision I made when I was sixteen. now that you know this new information about me, do you trust me? could we sit down for dinner? would you hire me? 15 years after that one poor decision, how do you see Rob now?

  21. Eightys Baby Says:

    You better than me..twice????…i dunno if I would feel comfortable around him. I mean what if he want off about his chicken being too cold??? And he was like well my wife doesn’t make it like that..and someone says ..well you’re wife ain’t make it..

    BOOM!!!!!!!! lol..im just kidding sort of..

    @Comeback…I know right…. It’s like when you think about it it’s kind of like this dude is a killer….. But being around him it doesn’t cross your mind like that…. I can say that I have never seen him angry so I haven’t seen that killer side come out….. But he’s not treated any differently… He’s just like part of the family. I guess…

  22. The Comeback Girl Says:

    et. all..i just read somewhere that Sara K is 31 now???

  23. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “now that you know this new information about me, do you trust me? ”

    This is different WAY from premeditated murder in my opinion. I even think i could have a sit down with my cousin over dinner…but there is NO WAY IN THE HE!LL she is staying with me when she gets out.

  24. “let’s lessen the charge. i currently have a felony on my record for being caught with small amounts of crack cocaine when I was 16 years old with the intent to distribute. I got off with three years probabation. I have since finished undergrad and grad school, am a productive citizen and corportate america, am married and building a life formyself. and i like to blog. I despise that I have to check that little box and prove my self worth everytime I fill out an application. I have been luck in that my other merits have outweighed to this point the one poor decision I made when I was sixteen. now that you know this new information about me, do you trust me? could we sit down for dinner? would you hire me? 15 years after that one poor decision, how do you see Rob now?”

    @Rob: I think your story is an excellent example of what we are studying in my Corrections class.

    I do think there needs to be changes in our corrections system.

  25. V Renee Says:

    But would you let someone like her enter your personal space? .

    I sure would. Should I be scared of her?

    You’re right, I don’t know the facts of the case. And I’m just going on what little I do know.

    I have a problem with the prison system anyway. Prison does NOT rehabilitate. If anything, people just learn how to be better criminals. Once they leave jail, no matter if they’ve actually changed, they have very little chance of becoming a productive member of society. Unless they work for themselves. And this is troubling for me. And it makes me even sadder that so many black men are affected by this. Yeah we can scream that they shouldn’t have done the crime. That’s the easy answer. I don’t have an answer for the problem. Nonetheless I’m still bothered by it.

    This is not to say I don’t think there are some people in prison that they deserve to rot there. Because there are.

  26. @vrenee: “Prison does NOT rehabilitate”.

    I think it attempts to. problem is, as the system is currently ran, your success is usually a function of the traits, characteristics and behaviors you had well before you entered those prison walls. in other words, if absent of whatever you did to get there, you where a decent person, you’re likely not to go back because your time spent there becomes a deterrent to you ever experiencing that again. our prison system doesn’t encourage people to better themselves as people during/after their stay because we continue to judge them based on past mistakes and not the person that they have or made attempts at becoming while incarcerated (ie. not hire them, not trust the new them, etc.).

    @cbg: the crime perhaps isn’t as heinous, but based on the premise that one’s actions justifies seeing them as untrustworthy or hireable, does the crime matter? If our legal system is in the business or incarceration as a means to rehabilitation, then our society has to have faith in said system to work for it to have any success.

    funny thing, we are all one decision away from a prison sentence. take your eye off the road because you’re reading “singlesisterspeak” on your Iphone and run over a little old lady on the street and you go to jail for manslaughter, should I hire you? trust you? sit down with you for dinner? or do the circumstances surrounding the crime matter?

    btw, no I never have sold drugs, I was just making a point.

  27. The Comeback Girl Says:

    “take your eye off the road because you’re reading “singlesisterspeak” on your Iphone and run over a little old lady on the street and you go to jail for manslaughter, should I hire you? trust you? sit down with you for dinner? or do the circumstances surrounding the crime matter? ”

    LOL..ok thats so funny..but its not funny. You are right we are all one BAD decision from being thrown in the slammer..but please believe it wont be for plotting a murder. I can assure anybody of that. i don’t even have the attention span to stay mad longer than 2.5 minutes.

    But this Sara case is sad, if she is 31. I do believe that its long enough. I was reading that giving a minor life without parole violates some international human right law ..that only Somalia and the US are still in non compliance.

    The sad thing is the longer she stays the longer the “prison mentality” sets in.

  28. Peyso Says:

    I helped to create a program called Employment Works in NYC. It works to get Newyorkers convicted of felonies and now on probation to gain jobs and to hopefully lower recidivism. You would be suprised the barriers that ppl face to get jobs. It is illegal to deny a person a job based on a criminal offense (unless they are sexual offenders working w/ children or intimately w/ others or a gun charge around alcohol – to be honest the third one doesnt make sense to me).

    Prison was never meant to rehabilitate. It is a punishment. Punishments dont teach ppl the err in their ways, it just aims to serve as a hindrance to the crime not to the underlying causes of a crime. For example, a child lies. You spank the child. The child doesnt lie (hopefully) anymore out of fear of being spanked again. What happens when the child doesnt care about spanking anymore? Alternative, get child to understand why lying is bad and combine positive reinforcement w/ punishment when bad. Our prison system should model itself after productive parenting.

  29. Wow, this is serious..If someone commits a crime there should be a price to pay ….however sentencing a minor to a life sentence is just ridiculous… Did they take into consideration her up bringing.. raised in a drugs/abusive home will have an impact on anyones life. She lacked parental guidance, stability and love.. Maybe thats the reason why when pimpster came along she fell for him and the bs. He gave her something that she never got at home… The judge said she lacked morals and scruples…Morals and scruples are thought at home if she didn’t have a home life how could she develope morals and scruples…… This seems so unfair….

  30. the Vixen. Says:

    You know what, usually I am a person that feels for EVERYONE, this girl wasn’t really touching me because there are millions of kids that go through something similar to this. Many kids have problems and people around that don’t care about there well-being, but when she said the Judge said her crime was well thought out OF COURSE IT WAS!!! She was a young girl who was brainwashed and molded into what HE wanted her to be. You can’t just kill a pimp that easily when you are working for them. Pimps control your mind, it’s hard to even get out of that mindset. I applaud her for having the strength to want to change herself. No one knows how scared she was of that man. He probably wouldn’t just let her leave the life. C’mon she was 16 at the time && 29 now? It’s time for her to be let go. OF course, at the time she didn’t have morals. He probably didn’t teach them to her. All she saw was a man (father figure) taking her out, buying her things and her & her friends were having fun. When you’re young that’s what it’s about and those are the people you are going to gravitate towards…the people who are giving you those things! I am definitely going to try to sign the petition after hearing this story. Thanks for bringing it to my attention ladies!

  31. has anyone gotten transcripts from the trial or more facts about the case itself? Before I really spread it, I’d like to say I know what the heck I’m talking about.

  32. @UndressingHer: I haven’t… I honestly hadn’t even looked. Perhaps Jaci may know more. She’ll be on a little later.


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