Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Woman to Woman (And What Happened AFTER that Convo) October 5, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 10:00 pm

Hello Barbara this is Shirley…

We all know that infamous song about what happened when one woman called another woman to tell her to back off her man.  I’ve always thought the song was a whole lot of very different things (only because I would never call a woman and tell her all about what I’m doing for a man, but that’s a different story for a different day) anyways…just so we’re all clear Shirley called Barbara to let her know that he (let’s call him Steve) was her man…from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet…

Throughout the entire song Barbara never says a word…doesn’t anyone ever wonder what Barbara had to say…I mean she sat there and listened to Shirley go on and on about what she was doing for this man (and I’m still trying to figure out with whose money…although Barbara’s response pretty much summed it up)…

Barbara had enough wits about her to not get an attitude or bust any windows…in fact, she just called up Shirley and told her that it really didn’t matter to her one way or the other what she did for the man because everything Shirley gives Steve he gives to Barbara…

Now I’ve said all this to make the following conclusion.  A man is going to be where he wants to be.  You cannot call another woman, jump up and down screaming that he’s your man.  Because in Barbara’s world, she was most definitely Steve’s woman.  Why?  Because he was the one providing for her.  Everything he was getting from one woman he was giving to another.

Ladies, I’m curious..would you or have you called the other woman?  How would you handle it if she called you back?  As a matter of fact, for the men …how do you all handle situations like this? I’ve never heard one way or the other about you all having to handle situations like this…


10 Responses to “Woman to Woman (And What Happened AFTER that Convo)”

  1. I don’t think it matters if the man is providing for you or not – if he’s not exclusively yours, then he’s not your man. There’s no need to compete with that, there’s no reason to call another woman up and tell her everything you are doing for him. I think it would make you look like a fool.

    The only reason I’d call another woman is if he was cheating on the both of us, and neither of us knew about eachother, but somehow, I’d find out. I wouldn’t call to get her side, of the story, I really don’t care. I would call her to speak to her as a sista and apologize for my role in hurting her (even though I didn’t know).

  2. andrea Says:

    I wouldn’t call, either. If he doesn’t want to be with me, he can move on. She can have him. But the same way she got him, that’s the way she’ll most likely lose him too.

  3. “doesn’t anyone ever wonder what Barbara had to say”


    Too me ..(wait you should post a link to that song..) Barbara is pretty inconsequential. Why wasn’s Shirley singing to “her man”? Sometimes with these triangle’s there is three sides to a story and they don’t always jive.

    To answer the question, I’ve never felt compelled to call nor have I ever been called. The time I suspected a Barbara it was time for me to bounce ANYWAY, Barbara was the symbol that the relationship had run its course. As for me calling, my tolerance level is WAY too low and my A.D.D too much in full force to be wrapping to another woman about “my man”. I also think that some men are naturally messy, and they like this ongoing confusion. I have always tried my damndest to stay far away from the Drama Dudes.

  4. Martin and Gina Says:

    I thnk the woman calling shows that she still cares. And I think there is a feeling of inferiority because she wants to know what makes this other woman so much better than her. It is not all about finding out what the guy did. I think in the guy mind it gives him a chance to process his response to everything and play the fence as to which woman he really wants to be with. Or really he will take the one that sticks around.

  5. FlawedBeauty Says:


    I’ve always told men that. If you have someone else you need to tell me, because if I find out I am going to apologize to her. That’s just necessary.


    Coming right up LOL..I heard it on Sirius radio…I was like WHAATT?!

    I definitely don’t get calling another woman and being like see you I do all this for him…because then I’d be like wait…I’m an idiot.


    I think you’re right…calling the other woman is a symbol that you do still care about the man…no matter how you slice and dice it, but I be damned if I am going to sit around and fight over him.

  6. lurkin' maggie Says:

    Well I have been Barbara unknowingly and received that call. Just like Barbara, I didn’t say a word I just let her speak her peace, afterwards I apologized to her and called him on it when we spoke and walked away from the situation. A month or so later Shirley & Steve broke up and me and him gave it another try. She called me back when she found out to inform me that I manipulated her by listening to her complaints about him and then being with him after they broke up.

    As Andrea said the way you get him is often times how you loose him and the moment I felt I was becoming Shirley I never placed a call I just cut my losses.

  7. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @ CBG

    Here is “From His Woman to You”

  8. I’ve had this happen twice. Both times, the girl who was being called just laughed. Which I think was the best thing to do. It’s the same thing I do when a chicks boyfriend calls me. That is not your girl dude, we used to share her, but I’m done with her now, you can have her back. Calling ppl is stupid, confront the person ur with. If you’re think they are lying and you don’t trust them, then you should not be with them.

  9. Athena Nike Says:

    If this was just my boyfriend or fiance, the relationship would be over when I found evidence of his infidelity. And he would get the same notice I did, walk up on me at coming out the movies holding hands with my new beau, “awww boo, yeah we broke up when I saw KK facebook page of you kissing on barbara at a party last month…”
    I don’t think I would ever call and would hate to be called, I’m not the cheating/woman on the side type so as soon as she verify who she is/their relationship, I’m like cool, his bad, don’t call here again.
    Even if it were my husband, I doubt I would pursue convincing the woman to let him go. I prefer the Chante Moore approach, in ‘I’m keeping You’

    Deal with him and OUR relationship. YOU call her and get rid of her, and I will back you up if she start trippin/is obsessed. If he can’t/won’t, I agree with Nikki, I obviously did not have him, vows, wedding ring and all.

  10. Anonymiss Says:

    Never been in this situation but I don’t see myself ever calling the “other” woman. Its pointless. She doesn’t owe me anything and has no reason to care about what I have to say. The only person I feel I need to be speaking to is my man. Even if I speak to her and somehow get her to back off that doesn’t fix the problems between me and him and most likely he’ll just find another woman to replace her.

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