I loathe labeling one of my friends as being jealous but its come to the point where I don’t know what to call it! I recently hung out with her this past weekend to help celebrate her dirty 30 birthday, we hadn’t seen each other since shortly after my birthday. We’ve talked on the phone and communicated through text a few times but nothing like how we were before my birthday. I mark my birthday as a pivotal moment because we had a huge falling out the day after because of miscommunication (mostly on her part) and her dislike of some of my other friends (who have done nothing but be nice to her). Previous to that situation we had lots of moments where we clashed on something but this time I felt she went too far and for some reason I just couldn’t shake how she did me and some of the insults she shoved my way that day. So I did some reflection and surveying… I noticed in the nine year span of our friendship she had commentary (mostly bad) for every aspect of my life, from the men I dated to what shoes I wanted to wear. One minute she said she lived her life vicariously through me the next I’m being told I need to dress my age (and there’s nothing wrong with my wardrobe). And although we have been friends for years and have had plenty of good times… I just can not take her negativity and pessimism any longer. So to get some things off my chest I’ve been thinking about writing a letter. Here’s a little preview of what I would like to say.
Why do I constantly feel like you are putting me down? You barely hear anything that sounds remotely like a compliment. When something great and magical happens in my life I share the news and instead of hearing “Girl that’s great!!” I get “Humph…” with an attitude. Did I do something to you along the way in our friendship. Did I ever downplay any of your jovial moments or reduce your self efficacy? I have always tried to be the best friend I could be to you, but I have constantly felt that the same wasn’t given. You always have something to say about my choice of friends, the men I choose to date, and the places I choose to shop. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but before yours is given you should consider that I am not you, so however you would do something I probably won’t do the same. I don’t know what else to do, I know I have talk to you before about how I feel you act towards me but it seems as though it has went into one ear and out the other. I don’t know what brings you to say some of the things you do about me. It’s as if you put me down to make yourself feel better. A friend should not do this to another friend. I don’t want to close you out because you have been there for me through some rough times, but I can no longer handled your attitude and dark outlook on things. Maybe we can talk before it gets to the point of no return…..
So has anyone had a jealous friend? How did you handle it? Were you able to repair the friendship?