Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Bad Habits & The Immature Woman October 13, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 10:05 pm

Admin Note: I’m sure a blogging something this week…Cuzzo is taking an unwanted break from us, but promises to be back next week.

I’ve got a very good friend who I sometimes think is absolutely nuts love and adore.  Over the past 4 or 5 months ago he has begun dating a woman who is 7 years his junior.  Anyways, when he first met her I thought she was great.  Just young enough to not be jaded, but old enough to have found herself (somewhat) and know how to act with grace, charm and wit.

Boy was I wrong! In recent weeks she has proven herself to be incompetent, disrespectful and unaware of society and what is or is not deemed as acceptable.  I know, I know some of you are asking “But Jac, what exactly is acceptable?” Well, my dears, that’s exactly what I’m going to detail to you.

1. Time-Yes, you read me right. I am not talking about the amount of time you spend with your mate either, rather I am talking about being respectful of their time.  This may seem like something trivial to those of us who are reading because it is likely something that we take for granted, but imagine the person you are dating invites you to be somewhere at 4pm.  You are running about ten minutes late and you call to let them know.  Your SO tells you that they will be leaving home soon, because they completely lost track of time (since the clock on their computer is wrong) is this acceptable?  I think not….What about you?

2. Lifestyle-You cannot stand to be alone.  I know Jada’s brought this up once before.  I’m sorry but if at 26 years old you cannot stand to be alone with your own thoughts, that is a serious issue.  Apparently every other time in life you have been alone something happens to you.  Well…guess what?  Life happens.  Bad things happen whether you are apart from others or with them.  Does this mean you constantly impinge upon your SO’s right to privacy and alone time?  Beyond that, what if you have “bad habits” that your SO has admitted not liking or not being able to tolerate due to extenuating circumstances?  Does that mean you say “I quit” then do it behind their back?

3. The Man/Woman Dance-Many of you are probably gonna disagree with me here….we’ve talked about how during courtship there’s a dance that men and women do…well once in a relationship that kinda continues.  I’m not saying women should always cook or always clean, but ladies…if he’s a man…a real man (and that’s coming up Tuesday) then you should want to support him.  It shouldn’t matter that cooking bores you or it makes you hot…if you have a good man treat him as such.

So ladies and gents, here’s my top 3 on the immature woman list.  Have any of you dated this woman?  Were/Are you this woman?  Do you think my friend should cut his losses or try & work with her more? What other bad habits can you not tolerate in dating?

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13 Responses to “Bad Habits & The Immature Woman”

  1. He should cut his losses and HOLLAAAAaA (workcite: Frankie.) lol I cannot stand a person who does not respect my time.

    I will not tolerate:

    Being disrespected, by ANY MEANS. You will not be bold faced flirting with another woman in my face, I don’t care if she is the waitress. (let’s not confuse being nice with OUTRIGHT FLIRTING).

    DRAMA.

  2. FlawedBeauty Says:

    And we all need to workcite Frankie …cause if don’t HOLLLAAAAA it will be MAN DOWN.

    Time is so important. Like for me if you don’t call me back in a decent amount of time I cannot take it.

    @Mik

    Same thing my daddy said.

  3. “cause if don’t HOLLLAAAAA it will be MAN DOWN. ”

    LMAO!

  4. I’m meticulous about people. I analyze EVERYTHING! I say that to ask, how in the hell do you get “in a relationship” with these type of people? 7months later these “signs” came about? I don’t buy it. I think dude getting that 7years younger magic box is what’s got him confused. People are more telling in my opinion (there are exceptions. the people who are outright lying to put on a certain face. but these people who change “all of a sudden” you get rid of quick, fast and in a hurry . . . . you don’t know them . . . they’ve been lying). People, caught up in lust love don’t want to see these things. I don’t ever recall “getting in a relationship” with someone like this. Have yall talked about anything during the courtship that had weight? Where questions asked, scenarios and hypotheticals presented that allowed you to guage them based on their responses? i’m not sold on the she acting brand new idea.

  5. “Do you think my friend should cut his losses or try & work with her more? What other bad habits can you not tolerate in dating?”

    I feel like im missing information. Like I’ve said before, there are two sides to every story.

    And for item 3, I’m not cooking everyday. And I’m not talking about stuff out of cans …and cheating with rotisserie chicken lol…I’ll do that…but i think its understandable that a working woman aint breakin out cast iron pots everyday..besides people shouldn’t even be eatin all like that everyday anyway.

  6. K-EVEN Says:

    cut her loose.. she needs to discover herself..

    however he could give her some insight into what would make her a better girlfriend/friend

  7. FlawedBeauty Says:

    Good comments…

    Let me start with Ms. CBG

    Now…there’s no excuse for any of it really…and I don’t know if I’d say she all of a sudden was this way…I’d say she was that way all along. But, I think that you don’t wanna say “this person is bad” plus I’d think these issues were fixable. But if you have somebody who consistently makes excuses then it’s like ok…what’s really going on?

    Re: cooking

    It doesn’t have to be everyday but I think K-even and Rob will agree a woman should cook something…SOMETHING.

    @Rob

    Absolutely. I think his roll as a former military man he does have the conversations with her, but in her immaturity she won’t take responsibility…

    Bringing me to

    @K-Even

    You’re right. He’s doing prep work. I’m sure some1 prepped you and I know somebody prepped me.

  8. As Jac said there’s two sides to every story. I won’t go into detail on my long winded response, in sum, this is what I think…and I quote myself, as said to someone else

    “I also think that when more than one thing in a relationship is going wrong, the thing that BOTHERS YOU MOST is personified ten times over.”

  9. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Diva

    Precisely. I’ve seen some of how she feels and how he feels…and it’s kinda like two people on opposite sides of the Great Wall trying to meet each other in the middle honestly.

    That’s what I see…and it’s made worse because he can see what she wants and needs as she can see what he wants and needs..thing is she’s not willing to bend.

    That’s sad…excuses for excuses is totally nuts.

  10. Robet had a great point.

  11. The Sphinx Says:

    I agree, people should be respectful of each other’s time as to not waste it. They should be mannerable and respectful, and share in responsibilities. The alone thing, yah she needs to work on that. If she hasn’t already, she’s going to start looking to him for her happiness, and he’ll be miserable. But my question is, if she’s this terrible, why is he still with her?

  12. Lolly Says:

    I see the traits that you describe to be unisexual. I feel I have dated the person you describe. Does it count under the category of “time” as being unacceptable when you go to pick him up (my idea/need; in case your wondering) that he is sitting in the hot tub with a glass of wine? He said, “I said 6:30 not 6:15. Really, you think admitting that 15 minute preparation time for a date with me just bought you points?

    Lets take on Lifestyle. Let remember, we have gender difference here. So, she gets super social needy; he on the other hand stays in the cave until he works on wants sex.

    And of course the “man/woman dance.” Lets see the other side of this one. He calls at 2:30. After a short conversation, she says okay, I’ll cook us some dinner. See you at 7:30. He arrives and after she has been cooking for 2 hours, he announces, “he’s not really hungry, he had a big lunch.” Really…………..

    Thanks for letting me share and I hope that you see my point.
    What should we do? First and foremost, don’t allow yourself to be abused in anyway. Its hard for some of us, but worth the fight to get there. And, know that’s okay to still love them. I know people will disagree with that, but it is okay to love them. It’s just not okay to let them hurt you. So maybe, you have to love them enough to leave them.


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