Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Women Who Beat Their Boyfriends October 21, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 10:02 pm

Last Tuesday I was the guest at One Fourth Random where I wrote a similar blog and this week, I’ve revised it a little and brought it home.

So that’s a pretty long clip here.  I’m going to explain the basics of what’s going on …the lady (Kendra) and her boyfriend (Marcus) were guest on Tyra on Tuesday.  Kendra admits in the video to hitting Marcus over 50 times, scarring his face with her stiletto, and has even spit on him.  It is unbelievable and unexplainable why a woman would wanna hit a man (and vice versa even).   The most appalling thing out of the entire conversation was Kendra admitting “I love him, I love him more than anything”.  How in the world does she think that is showing love.  Past that, when she is asked why she hits him she explains that he lies, is not on time to pick her son up and is often not where he says he is going to be.  Ladies, who has been in that position? *raises hand* It becomes evident to me through the course of the video that Kendra has real issues.  She just attacks him for NO REASON and actually appears to be crying.  Now…as usual social networking plays a role in the story as she mentions Myspace and how another female was able to tell her all these things about Marcus.  *pause* It shouldn’t have mattered one way or the other what some chick on Myspace says…if he’s with you, he’s with you…I digress.  Kendra is hurting.  This is evident, but that does not mean that she should attempt to inflict physical pain on Marcus.

Now…in every relationship there is going to be fighting.  You’re going to get angry.  You might raise your face.  In fact, you might even throw a dish or two (I know I have) but I have never NOT ONE time put my hands on a man in that manner.  I cannot bring myself to do that, because I believe if I love you then I love you whether we’re fighting or not.

Ladies and gentlemen October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I know people who have been abused in this manner and I know what it means to be reached out to and to reach out to someone to fix the situation.  If you or anyone you know is being abused.  Please don’t hesitate to contact someone.  Many sites that are dedicated to domestic abuse have safe buttons that will change the page to something harmless.  If you’re scared to go get info then e-mail us here at SSSO and we’ll send you the info you need for the area you’re in.

Let’s discuss.  What do you all think about domestic abuse?  Are there any clues that this might happen?  Do you think the abusers can fix themselves and stop or will it always be this way?  Do you think the abusers actually believe they love the person?

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191 Responses to “Women Who Beat Their Boyfriends”

  1. I don’t think she needs to be with him… if she feels she needs to put his hands on him because she can’t trust him (and that’s what it sounds like it is), she needs to leave…. point blank.

    I do have a temper. When I get really mad, I don’t want to talk. I just want to hit- as bad as that sounds. I’ve never actually put my hands on anyone I’ve dated, but I’ve definitely been mad enough to… and I’ve had to walk away because I realize that if the man comes back at me, I could get hurt.

    No one deserves to get hit, but people need to recognize the patterns.

    I have been in a situation with a man who twisted my arm until I was brought to tears…. but he never got the opportunity to do it again.

    I realize not every can walk away- some have allowed that man to isolate them from friends and family, so they have no one else to turn to. It’s very important to not allow this to happen, in any situation.

    I think with counseling, an abuser can be fixed… but I think the abuser needs to first acknowledge their problem and stop using excuses- even using LOVE is an excuse.

  2. “October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month”

    I thought it was breast cancer awareness month!

    I watched the video with Kendra and Tyra and its CRAZY. Ive never really seen a man express feelings regarding being physically abused.

    “Do you think the abusers can fix themselves and stop or will it always be this way?”

    I think its a pattern and its so ingrained that, its hard to stop without intervention.

    Like Sunny wrote, something similar happened to me but it only had to happen ONE time. And i think those types of men will test you, your boundaries, and like the video with Trya, some men (and women) will TRY to break you down.

    “Are there any clues that this might happen?”

    I honestly thinks its a slow boil and it starts with verbal abuse.

  3. “I do have a temper. When I get really mad, I don’t want to talk.”

    I think the ability to communicate effectively when you’re angry while in a relationship could be one of the most useful tools any couple can have. I’ll be honest. I ain’t got it yet. I really want it though and I know how helpful it would be. But it’s having that ability to execute on it which I have yet to master. If we all stepped back and start talking like the Huxtable’s when in an argument, we’d be better off I think. Sweet tongues make sour words easier to swallow. But more than that, I hate when women flat out stop talking. This tactic gets us knowhere. I mean knowhere. You’re mad and usually, I don’t understand why you’re mad.

    Now here’s my controversial point. Excluding the crazy off the wall niccas, I think every woman has a responsibility to protect they neck with their words. I’ve seen women go at some of my friends soooo hard and in my head i’m thinking, i may let him get one well placed smack off before I break it up. Men understand this rule. If I’m smaller than another dude, have sized him up and all . . . my words better take into account that assessment. I’m not going to back down . . . but I aint necessarily gonna throw fuel on the fire. Women don’t take that into account. I mean i’ve literally seen a women on some “hit me then bia*ch nicca” x 1000 times and then when she laying on the ground she’s like “i can’t believe you hit me”. why not? you just asked him to a 100o times over.

    and i understand everyone is responsible for their own actions, but i aint running in front of no bus with the thought in my head that the driver should be responsible enough on their own to stop.

    and counseling can help with most things if the internal desire to change exists.

  4. “Excluding the crazy off the wall niccas, I think every woman has a responsibility to protect they neck with their words.”

    I think this assertion is very dangerous and I’ve heard tons of black men say this. Maybe this is better advice for women raised in the streets and think they could go toe to toe with a man. But for WOMEN who WERE NOT raised around lots of aggression (which is 99.9% of the women i know today)..the advice is pretty useless and perpetuates some of the issue.

    Like Tyra said in the video, men KNOW who they can abuse. Usually the abuser seeks out and abusee like a heat seeking missile.

    The case you mention where “women should use their words” are cases where you have two attack dogs, where one is bigger than the other..but I honestly don’t believe thats the normal scenario of abuse and undermines and belittles the real issue.

  5. @Rob: I agree- being able to talk while angry is valuable. I don’t have it either. lol

    I also agree what you said about how some women talk to men… I’ve seen women straight up CLOWN a man, in public, in front of friends…

    “Women don’t take that into account. I mean i’ve literally seen a women on some “hit me then bia*ch nicca” x 1000 times and then when she laying on the ground she’s like “i can’t believe you hit me”. why not? you just asked him to a 100o times over. ”

    And this happened, to me, except with a man… Mind you, I told him to get the EFFE out of my face (I cursed!)

    But his response was, what are you gonna do hit me???

    And I honestly wanted to. But I realized I shouldn’t/couldn’t which only made it worse.

    When I tell you to get out of my face, please do. I’m not threatening you, I’m just trying to save you and me from going there.

  6. “But for WOMEN who WERE NOT raised around lots of aggression (which is 99.9% of the women i know today)..the advice is pretty useless and perpetuates some of the issue.”

    I thought Rob was talking about the hood rats.. those are the only one’s I’ve seen act a fool like that.

  7. @nicki: “But his response was, what are you gonna do hit me???”

    what’s good for the goose i suppose. men shouldn’t be pressing women to act either. it’s a two way street. and dude may fall into that “crazy off the wall” category and he’s trying to justify his reaction by probing for yours.

    @cbg: i think that any person (i spoke to women specifically because that was what the blog is about) has to be mindful of their wordchoice when speaking to another person. that advice is only as good as the person (male or female) who is ready to take it into consideration and put it to use.

    i’ve seen many a woman (that 99.9% you’re talking about) that wasn’t “street raised” and who have had all of one fight in their life (and that was with their little brother) talk off the cuff to some dude. i agree that the men Tyra may be talking about are predators but do you not agree that certain reactions can be solicited? and you’re correct, that isn’t the normal scenario of abuse. usually it’s a poor excuse of a man abusing a woman. that isn’t in my eyes acceptable at all.

  8. “what’s good for the goose i suppose. men shouldn’t be pressing women to act either. it’s a two way street. and dude may fall into that “crazy off the wall” category and he’s trying to justify his reaction by probing for yours. ”

    @Rob: LOL. J ain’t crazy. lol.

    I don’t know why he did it but I was ready to do it. lol. We are talking about it on here- I was gonna make it an entry in our martin and gina blog, but I guess I don’t need to know!

  9. “i agree that the men Tyra may be talking about are predators but do you not agree that certain reactions can be solicited? and you’re correct, that isn’t the normal scenario of abuse. usually it’s a poor excuse of a man abusing a woman.”

    @ RW..im still confused esp. when you make caveats about language. So whats NOT appropriate to not get your a!ss beat?? “i don’t really like you’re momma’s macaroni”?

  10. Peyso Says:

    Ppl are always trying to take advantage of a rule or a standard to their advantage. Everyone does it. This phenomena is an example of that. Women are taking advantage of the rule that men shouldnt abuse women (physically or verbally) in any manner. They understand that regardless of what they do, once that man reacts, she’s in the clear. Its messed up

  11. come on now cbg. let me give you a scenario, me and four of my guys are walking out the rec at school. one of my dudes ladies runs up on us giving him the verbal emasculation. she’s called him the ‘b’ word more than Too Short has used it in his lifetime. he didn’t act. she kept going at him. is she not soliciting? is her word choice appropriate? should her word usage not be minful of the response she may receive? if i ran up on a woman doing the same and got smacked, i’d think to myself “yep, deserved that one”. why does the tables turn due to gender? and if the tables do turn do to gender, why is that not taken into consideration when the female is dishing out the verbal kick in the cahones? maybe i’m taking you wrong. . . . are you saying there’s no words that should solicit such?

    . . . and nobody betta say nutin bout my momma’s mac and cheese. or we tossin furniture in this joint.

  12. @ Pey..i think the golden rule still applies. First of all no man has moved me to say anything remotely nasty in a VERY VERY long time. Part of it I attribute to maturity and the other is that..my picker has gotten better.

    Part of the issue is that people get into relationships for people to MAKE them feel better about their shyt (the shyt they should have been working on prior to unveiling it to a romantic partner).

    I don’t see it as a double standard nor unfair. Because I don’t make it my business to a) pick wrong b) verbal spar c) allow anything to escalate ..and im not the same woman i was 7 or 8 years ago…with “try me” on my forehead. Like tyra said..men know who they can do stuff like this to.

  13. @cbg: perhaps you aren’t that type of woman, but they exist. and they’re in that 99.9% of the women you engage.

  14. “she’s called him the ‘b’ word more than Too Short has used it in his lifetime. he didn’t act. she kept going at him. is she not soliciting?”

    @ RW..i guess my question is WHO DOES THAT THOUGH?? i mean im talking about self respecting women not guttah trollops.

  15. Peyso Says:

    @CBG – i think PEOPLE know who they can do this sh!t to.

  16. @cbg: women put this on the backs of ‘hood’ women all the time. all the instances i’m talking about are of “self-respecting”, educated, professional, accomplished women who for whatever reason let emotion make decisions for them. i’m not talking Lacretia from building four (though they get it it in too . . .they just willing to trade blows). i’m talking Carmen, the A4 driving, condo owning, 401k paying, winter trips to ski taking, brunch on sunday eating sistas who graduate magna cum . . . they set it off too.

  17. “i’m talking Carmen, the A4 driving, condo owning, 401k paying, winter trips to ski taking, brunch on sunday eating sistas who graduate magna cum . . . they set it off too.”

    Here’s the thing…you can go to college and drive a trumped up Volkswagen and still be hood-ish. Again I ask what woman goes to a public establishment and starts calling a man a biotch in public or private..to his face???

    Dudes wanna pretend like they and their friends are the VICTIM..but I think some men need to check themselves about liking “the ride or die chick”..who turns rawness on them.

    Its cute on tv..

  18. @cbg: i think you’re missing the point. it happens more than you think. ask a Michelle Obama type chick and I’m certain you’ll find a significant amount who can recall a time that they perhaps went too far with their words. you’ve probably done it yourself. a good portion of the women on this blog probably have. i’m not trying to make men the victims, i’ve already stated that any man who takes part in this is a poor excuse of a man. but let’s not be naive thinking that there’s a certain “type” of woman that does this exclusively.

    i’m not blaming women for any abuse they may receive. but i guarantee i will teach my daughters that you don’t go around soliciting an unwanted reaction (not a** whooping . . . just any unwated reaction) by not having control of your OWN emotions and language. is that not sensible? i think putting the owness and responsibility on anyone other than yourself is foolish. i can’t do anything about your reaction to my actions. i can however have full control of my actions and have foresight to ensure that in the end . . . no matter what the result. . . i can look myself in the mirror and say i didn’t deserve a frying pan to the eye socket. why is that even being argued against? I don’t understand.

  19. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Nicki

    Exactly. I’m aware that I have temper too. I will just walk away. I feel like Kandi talking to Nene on RHOA if you don’t get outta my face I’m going to pop you.

    Here’s my thing: I was dating someone who kept threatening to punch me/hit me/ etc, etc. I was like oh ok yeah whatever you know hehe…then one day I changed the channel on the tv and he was like I will punch your lights out…I went to the kitchen and came back with a knife in my right hand and his baby nephew in my left. I told him go ahead…Please hit me because if you do I promise to God your mama will need the finest suit in this city I am going to kill you. We didn’t have that problem for a minute. The one day he threatened to again…grabbed my arm a little too hard and now you can find him in jail where he’s going to be FOR A MINUTE.

    Do I think he sought me out? Oh prolly so…will it do it again…I doubt it.

    Now…I can understand…

    @Robert’s point of view. He’s right Carmen with the A4 and condo and all dat can go off on you in fact, she’s capable of going more nuts than the the chick who ain’t never moved off the block (I’m just sayin)

    Also, Peyso makes a good point…Kendra understood that no matter how many times she popped Marcus, cussed at him or spit on him he was NOT going to do anything back to her…however when she was asked by Tyra she hesitated. This told me in Kendra’s world abuse=love and that’s really not true AT ALL.

    Truthfully, I think it goes back to some childhood psychological mistreatment or something seen, etc, etc.

    And I’ll admit…as an educated woman I have thrown the B word and some others around IN THE STREETS at men …and still had people be like “but she so classy”

  20. “Dudes wanna pretend like they and their friends are the VICTIM..but I think some men need to check themselves about liking “the ride or die chick”..who turns rawness on them.”

    That is true…

    A man may say he wants an aggressive women but she’s gonna be aggressive in ALL AREAS.

  21. @FB: A threat is scary as he!!. After the first threat, weren’t you scared?

  22. “i think you’re missing the point. it happens more than you think. ask a Michelle Obama type chick and I’m certain you’ll find a significant amount who can recall a time that they perhaps went too far with their words.”

    Yeah..but you’re still throwing around the ghetto extremes, i can’t really recall offhand a woman i know who went to a club and started calling her man a biotch in front of all his friends..

    what about the middle terriorty. Why just limit your cautions with your daughter to their words? what about actions? what about snooping. I’ve done that. Does that warrant an a!ss whopping.

    See my point is when you have these caveats ..you’re cursing for a bruising literally.

    I’d like to raise my SONS and OR DAUGHTERS PERIOD to use your words. Communicating effectively doesn’t involve physical intimidation or violence.

    and it really does start in the home.

  23. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Robert

    and you’re right…I once had an ex slam his hand down on a dashboard so hard because of something his mom did…I was like ok…no matter what I am NOT going to make him do this…EVER and you know what…it NEVER happened…he might get angry but never so angry where the love left the relationship.

    @NS

    No ma’am after his first threat I told his mama she needed to go buy one of those pretty little houses @ St. Louis #3 (the cemeteries in NOLA) because I was going to kill “her baby” if he EVER

  24. “A man may say he wants an aggressive women but she’s gonna be aggressive in ALL AREAS.”

    This is true. Those types of women usually can’t turn it off. And when you push her, she’s going for the neck.

  25. FlawedBeauty Says:

    and it really does start in the home.

    No truer words have ever been spoken…so knowing what we know about Marcus and Kendra…which one of them should have custody of that little boy?

    And when he gets older what’s he gonna do w. his relationships?

    And did anyone catch the phrase:

    “He’s late picking my son up and I have to work”?

    So is Marcus not working? Could this be a contributing factor to the emasculation he is feeling?

  26. Peyso Says:

    @ cbg – using words isnt always the answer. words can cause ppl to do things. we all have buttons that can be pushed. there are sometimes physical ramifications for our words. i liken it to telling a cop that you have a gun. you pushed the button that it takes for that cop to shoot u. however, i do agree with you that it starts in the home.

    @ all – there are women who are aggressive sometimes and not others. just like you want a man who is thug yet sensitive. (lol jk, but u get the point)

    @ Robert – I agree with you fully

  27. “No ma’am after his first threat I told his mama she needed to go buy one of those pretty little houses @ St. Louis #3 (the cemeteries in NOLA) because I was going to kill “her baby” if he EVER”

    @FB: Not pretty little houses? lol

    “This is true. Those types of women usually can’t turn it off. And when you push her, she’s going for the neck.”

    @Comeback :Exactly.. We were watching Bridezilla this week and this guy was marrying a total BIYOTCH.. He knew it. IN the beginning of the show, he said her aggressiveness attracted him.

    But then there was a clip of her yelling at him like he was a child. Who on earth would start a marriage KNOWING that is how life would be?

  28. No More Says:

    Everyone has a limit, “hood” or not. My girl isnt “hood” in any sense of the word but I’m pretty sure If I tried to I could make her want to hit me, and she’s an extremely unaggressive person. When those limits get crossed people tend to do things they may not normally do, which is how you may find yourself cussing your man out in the street and/or possibly getting smacked by your man

  29. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Peyso, CBG

    Words are powerful. I have realized that there are some words that trigger me to wanting to hurt somebody. In a relationship there are definitely moments where I say “Do not say that”

    @Nicki

    Those Bridezillas kill me. There was one a couple of weeks ago where the man’s friends were really like…dude this is ridiculous.

    So he calls her in and is like baby they tryna play me. She defended the heck out of him…then popped him in the head.

  30. Peyso Says:

    Bridezillas is the most ridiculous show I have ever seen. I wish my SO would. There would be no wedding

  31. @cbg: i’m speaking toward women and daughters for that matter because the blog called for it. there is no double standard. i won’t be raising my SONS in a different way. most importantly, i will show him through my actions an reactions toward my wife. just as i expect my wife to be an example of what is and isn’t acceptable when addressing a man to our daughters. no double standard. actually, my SON may have it worse. let me find out he’s struck a woman and no matter how much she could have been soliciting, i’m in that a** like charmin tissue. my dissapointment would be rooted in the fact that i did not raise him to act in such a fashion.

    and these aren’t “ghetto extremes”. every reference i’ve made are examples of the black bourgeious.

    snooping and verbal provocation isn’t the same, but i think you know that. i can be proactive against your snooping efforts (passcode on the phone, change the passwords on the internet, etc.). i can’t be proactive in anyway against the words, tone, language you choose to use. that’s your responsibility and my reaction should be taken into account when your choice is made.

    re: “Communicating effectively doesn’t involve physical intimidation or violence.”

    you’re absolutely correct. it doesn’t involve emaculation or demeaning either.

    re: “and it really does start in the home. ”

    true too. so men should be sure to educate their SONS on how it’s not necessary or right to put hands on a woman . . . just as women should educate their DAUGHTERS that you don’t go pushing one’s buttons and hoping they act a certain way. Nature is that men are in most cases more physically dominant. Don’t let nature fall upon that a** cause you had no control of your mouth.

    Callous. Perhaps. Real. Undoubtedly.

  32. “Words are powerful. I have realized that there are some words that trigger me to wanting to hurt somebody. In a relationship there are definitely moments where I say “Do not say that””

    Yeah..FB..but the problem is EVERYONE’s trigger is different. So if we raise our daughters to not trigger men by words..it a) excuses and marginalizes victimization. b) tells her that the other party has little responsibility in his own restraint c) poses an issue with relativity. There are people who have different triggers and when you make it at least somewhat OK, by telling the other person to watch their mouth, they’re always on guard with expressing their truth.

    And what if the truth isn’t THAT bad. What if its, “I’m no longer happy here.” if you condition a WOMAN child to “watch her words”..what about the important things she needs to express that benefits her and the relationship?

    To me the bottom line is everyone needs to be respectful of EVERYONE else regardless of gender.

    And for those dudes who like “ride or die chicks” don’t get mad when she rides you right across your jaw with her fist.

  33. @FB: I saw that one too…. it’s ridiculous

    @Peyso: I agree. sometimes those girls need to be SHOOK. lol

  34. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @CBG

    Everyone’s trigger is different but mostly I think there are key words that most men don’t want to be referred to as. Furthermore, it is all a part of effective communication. How is it that I can have a trigger but don’t tell you what it is?

    I also think Rob makes a great point when he says that he is going to show his children how to respond to each gender with how he treats his wife and vice versa. If he strives everyday to show her love even through anger his children will learn to do the same both male and female will learn how to handle these situations. The female child will learn that she should expect a man to respect her and communicate and the man child will learn that he NEEDS to have this respect starting with HIS MAMA and when he communicates effectively it will be rewarded.

  35. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Nick

    Right…and the men just sit there like oh okay this is cool…

    but is it really? I don’t think so at all. And most of them have kids who see them bouncing and flouncing acting like a fool all other the place.

    NOT COOL.

  36. “Everyone’s trigger is different but mostly I think there are key words that most men don’t want to be referred to as.”

    Yeah but I guess my point is “biotch a!ss nicca” is a no brainer..

  37. “Yeah but I guess my point is “biotch a!ss nicca” is a no brainer..”

    @CG: I definitely think calling a man a biotch is a trigger word.

    @FB: “but is it really? I don’t think so at all. And most of them have kids who see them bouncing and flouncing acting like a fool all other the place. ”

    And I wish they had a follow up show to see how the couples are doing now.

  38. how bout we teach those young daughters of ours to use words that express your feelings and are focused at getting the results you desire:

    Ex1:

    “Nicca why can’t you take out the trash, you aint ish” vs. “It would really help me out if you would take out the trash a bit more often.”

    Ex2:

    “You’re a little biatch for stepping out on me” vs. “You don’t have the respect necessary in order to make this a formidable relationship. And your cheating ways is an example of such.”

    i tell women (and my wife) all the time, it’s not what you’re saying, it’s HOW you’re saying it. by using effective communication you’re not depowering yourself as a woman. you’re not educating young girls to be guarded with truth, you’re teaching them that communication is more than what the point is, it’s how the point is delivered.

    “i’m no longer happy here” is great vs. “i’m leaving your small johnson having, biatch made, punk ass cause I’m not happy” same message. far from the same delivery.

  39. Those were really good examples Rob

  40. “i tell women (and my wife) all the time, it’s not what you’re saying, it’s HOW you’re saying it.”

    I guess..im really an alien..because the above examples all seem very obvious ways to treat a man who you love and want to keep happy.

    Again if men are running up on women who when angry are calling them biocthes and and biotch a!ss niccas…maybe thats telling not just on a woman but on the man too.

    He’s either not much better..or has this chronic captain save a ho!e itis that seems to be running rampant with black men these days.

  41. Peyso Says:

    My dad and Bill Cosby told this story. You have a steak and its all seasoned up with the peppers and onions. Its medium well, so you get a lil bit of pink and you got that nice crisp. You got the banging baked potato too. W/ the sour cream and the chives and the bacon and the butter. And you spend hours preparing this. Then you go outside and take the lid off of the garbage can and put the steak and the potato on the lid. You gonna eat that? Presentation matters….

  42. FlawedBeauty Says:

    Yeah but I guess my point is “biotch a!ss nicca” is a no brainer..

    This made me giggle for some reason.

    @Rob

    You’re correct and I think as women sometimes we don’t think about how it’s said…we just say it. So I concur great examples.

    @CBG

    No you’re not alien….I think when we see it in brown and white then it’s like ok this is how you should act…but both Nic and I have admitted that we’ve acted outside of this…

  43. Peyso Says:

    @ cbg – i think they are all obvious to just about everyone when they are calm. i just wish it was more obvious when people were angry

  44. “No you’re not alien….I think when we see it in brown and white then it’s like ok this is how you should act…but both Nic and I have admitted that we’ve acted outside of this…”

    I called a guy a mofo ..once..9 years ago. Maybe I should be happy he didn’t beat my a!ss?? i def didnt say it so that he would hit me and i could press charges or some other crazyness.

  45. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @CBG

    OF course you didn’t. I really don’t think any of us say or do the things we do so that men can hit us, etc.

    In fact, I think we say it because in that moment because that’s how we really feel….but as I said …that’s something that falls under how you love the person normally. I know with L we would have fights and arguments…and one time I said “you know what you’re just like him” …that triggered him to tears and ANGER…but he didn’t hit me or even seem like he was going to…we were able to talk it out…now with someone else that might have made him slam my head to bricks…it’s just about how you play it…

  46. “No you’re not alien….I think when we see it in brown and white then it’s like ok this is how you should act…but both Nic and I have admitted that we’ve acted outside of this…”

    @FB: I agree… and I can’t say that it won’t never happen again. I know it’s not right, but changing is not an overnight process.

  47. No More Says:

    “I called a guy a mofo ..once..”

    If thats the worst thing you’ve ever said to a guy I’m pretty sure you’ll be clear from any @ss beatings.

  48. “but he didn’t hit me or even seem like he was going to…we were able to talk it out…now with someone else that might have made him slam my head to bricks…it’s just about how you play it…”e

    See this is what im talking about. firstly, respect is mutual. And I think once you’ve found a great partner YOU DON”T GO THROUGH ALL THESE..let me practice the scenario of respect vs. “you biotch a!ss nicca”..i honestly dont think it comes up.

    Now if a woman sees a relationship as coming to an end and she desperately wants a man ..then I can see how she’d resort to all this name calling when hurt.

    But I honestly haven’t had to do all this and I’ve been disappointed in a dude before..i just don’t see it happening with a man i care about, and who deeply cares about me.

  49. “If thats the worst thing you’ve ever said to a guy I’m pretty sure you’ll be clear from any @ss beatings.”

    I also made reference to his daddy cheating on his momma..how about that ..should i have gotten my a!ss beat.

  50. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @CBG

    You are a mess. I once told a dude when he got through f*cking his mama to holla at me…

    I have said all kinds of stuff and never had anyone’s hands on me (except that once) and you know what I honestly think this is because of the woman I am unangered. I don’t think I am harsh or brittle…but I do want my feelings respected.

    And if you don’t…I am HEL!L…

    And no…CBG if his Daddy actually did then you might’ve been opening his eyes lol

  51. No More Says:

    “I also made reference to his daddy cheating on his momma..how about that ..should i have gotten my a!ss beat.”

    I dont think you should ever get your @ss beat. I dont think you should try and pick a fight with a man and I dont think a man should entertain a woman who is looking to pick a fight.

  52. @cbg: you INTENT isn’t in question. does that absolve your responsibility in word choice and usage though? I ask because once you choose to use certain language, aren’t you relenquishing the power you have and have in turn made yourself subject to a reaction based on what YOU chose to say? is referencing his momma being cheated on, something he probably has issues with if he loves his ma, something you should be referencing (using as a tool to be honest) in a heat of the argument? your intent may have been one thing, but did your word choice match your intent? and if it did, do you think his reaction to match the intent of your words . . . . or the words you used?

    respect is mutual AND it should be given absent of what someone has done or said to you . . .that’s where self-respect comes in to play.

  53. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @No More

    How much simpler could it get my friend?

    And true enough women should not …I used to tell my ex when you get right down to it I’m smaller than you…personality and physical…we ain’t gotta do all this yelling and screaming and def not get physical.

    Now my other friends …(who thanks to 80s baby will remain nameless) used to believe in picking up and shaking…as a snap back to reality…

    I’ve been shook a time or two…

  54. FlawedBeauty Says:

    WHOA!

    @Robert

    I see what you’re saying now. It’s not about the intent you have. You’re saying that a woman may just be trying to break somebody down but ends up really infuriating him.

    That makes sense. This is again where effective communication comes into the picture AGAIN.

  55. No More Says:

    “I’ve been shook a time or two…”

    Shaking is that final warning. You must’ve really been going in on these guys.

  56. FlawedBeauty Says:

    “I’ve been shook a time or two…”

    Shaking is that final warning. You must’ve really been going in on these guys.

    Umm…let’s just say I got out of pocket…

    I get out of pocket…I think you’ve met her, but I’m not sure.

  57. Martin and Gina Says:

    It kills me sometimes how some women can talk about fighting and hitting people when they never have had a physical altercation. My thing is why talk about I will do this and want to do this and you never have (EVER)!! You might as well go sit down somewhere and be quiet. It is like hyping your own self up for no reason, when no real action will come.

  58. Peyso Says:

    @ M&G – My SO is guilty of this 😦 lololol

  59. @flawed: message delivery.

    the point you are trying to get across no matter what it is, can easily be clouded by the words you choose and the manner in which you DELIVER it. women are much smarter and keen than men with their words, especially when in the heat of battle. they know what to say to make a dude feel like you just hauled off and smacked the bejesus out of him. it’s natural. men are raised to hurt with our fists and braun. women are raised to hurt with their words. when those two meet, issues arrive unless both parties understand that they are responsible for their OWN words and actions and just as important, can become subject to someone elses reactions and must choose wisely when DELIVERING the message they are trying to get across.

  60. No More Says:

    “It kills me sometimes how some women can talk about fighting and hitting people when they never have had a physical altercation.”

    Usually women (and men) who do that know they cant fight and are trying to hide their fear of confrontation.

  61. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @robert

    right…fundamentally men & women are raised to connect differently….one w/ a fist to the eye and the other with words to the balls.

    It’s just one of those things. but the delivery has to be calculated…much like the dance that gets you there in the first place.

  62. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ No More – You make a good point

    @Peyso – It’s funny to me…Nicki does it too so I know!!

  63. ” you INTENT isn’t in question. does that absolve your responsibility in word choice and usage though? I ask because once you choose to use certain language, aren’t you relenquishing the power you have and have in turn made yourself subject to a reaction based on what YOU chose to say? is referencing his momma being cheated on, something he probably has issues with if he loves his ma, something you should be referencing (using as a tool to be honest) in a heat of the argument? your intent may have been one thing, but did your word choice match your intent? and if it did, do you think his reaction to match the intent of your words . . . . or the words you used? ”

    In hindsight…i KNEW his daddy was a player so i could see some similarity in him. Now when I think back on it. It bought me abosolutely nothing. Me telling him ..to explain why he acted the way he did..didn’t serve. I know this now. But it angered my then BF. And I did think he was gonna go upside my head LOL..but he didn’t.

    The point im trying to make is that when you tell NON confortational easy going women to “watch their words”..you have them sitting around thinking whats justifiable and what isn’t.

    I KNOW there is NO EXCUSE in my estimation..because when tell women to watch their words..MOST will sit around and be like “what about this” “what about that” ..NO ABUSE is exceptable EVER. PERIOD.

  64. FlawedBeauty Says:

    Let me add this:

    I want ladies to hear me…hopefully someone younger will hear this…

    DO NOT APPROACH A MAN LIKE YOU’RE A MAN.

    That my dear is begging for it….

  65. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @CBG

    I think then that the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. You called him on his bullshyt. That angered him. I don’t think he went upside your head because he knew you were telling the truth.

  66. No More Says:

    They look silly when you really break down the situation to them, like

    “Blah blah, I’ll beat that b!tch @ss”
    “Yeah, well why dont you? You know where she stays, just go get her, she probably wants to fight you too”
    “Well I aint even worried about her like that”
    “Then why are you sitting here talking about her?”

  67. No More Says:

    ^^I forgot to include the original quote but that was in reference to women who talk junk and do nothing

  68. “@Peyso – It’s funny to me…Nicki does it too so I know!!”

    Perhaps YOU are the only person that can push my buttons.

    But let me shut my mouth before I get ig’nant. Don’t want to let my hoodrat come out. 🙂

  69. I’ve never had a woman piss me off ot the point I wanted to fight her, but a man???? Yeah.

  70. No More Says:

    “The point im trying to make is that when you tell NON confortational easy going women to “watch their words”..you have them sitting around thinking whats justifiable and what isn’t.”

    You shouldnt have to be told to watch your words though. Women should know that a man isnt really trying to take an overabundance of insults and lip service, cuz if the situation was reversed yall wouldn’t be trying to hear all that foolishness either. So treat him like you would want to be treated.

  71. “You shouldnt have to be told to watch your words though. Women should know that a man isnt really trying to take an overabundance of insults and lip service, cuz if the situation was reversed yall wouldn’t be trying to hear all that foolishness either. So treat him like you would want to be treated.”

    @ NoNo..thats what Im saying!!!

    it goes back to the golden rule..you call me a biotch..and I;m out ..you don’t get no extra chances to call me one twice.

  72. Martin and Gina Says:

    “Perhaps YOU are the only person that can push my buttons.”

    So help me understand how it works. A man can put his hands on you and twist your arm and you do nothing. A man can coner you and try to take something from you, but you never once swing but only try to push him off. But we get into an argument and you want to punch me and make it known. Sounds real A** backwards to me.

    Do you think I am a punk? is it because those guys were larger in stature or crazier than me? Or were you just more scared of them then me? I am interested to know the difference.

  73. No More Says:

    “it goes back to the golden rule..you call me a biotch..and I;m out ..you don’t get no extra chances to call me one twice.”

    I hear you, unfortunately some people do need to be told. Some women do act more aggressively toward men than women because they know that he wont do anything, and if he does he’ll get locked up. Hell some men act more aggressive toward women cuz they know they are stronger than them. B!tch@ssness on both accounts.

  74. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ Nicki

    Not trying to come down on you. Because we have had this discussion before. But at what point do you defend yourself? It seems like those two instances above are the perfect situations.

    But with me, someone who actually cares, has not touched you, your ready to fight, why???

  75. A man twisting my arm is not confrontational… he was in the back seat, twisted my arm, he showed he was in control. There was no argument, nothing.

    Me and you were having a heated argument. I was getting pissed off, more by the minute.. when you argue, you are overbearing, confrontational.

    It’s not about being ready to fight.. It’s not like I come into an argument ready to hit you… but when stuff is escalating and I get frustrated and you keep going. I get pissed.

    and I’m ready to hit you.

    As I’ve told you before, I’ve never really argued with anyone else.

  76. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    So maybe I need to show that I am in control!!

  77. @M&G: You missed the entire point. But whatev.

  78. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    Confrontation def:
    The act of confronting or challenging another, especially face-to-face

    You were confronted by that guy, he challenged you by grabbing your arm and you guys argued about who was going to drive. So I still don’t see the difference. Both were face-to-face.

  79. Eightys Baby Says:

    Sitting in the director’s chair of Martin & Gina …

    [in my director’s voice] And CUT!!!!!!!!!!

    That is all!!!!

  80. an uncomfortgable silence falls over the blog. . . . .

    and Rob breaks it.

    half of me never wants to comment when M&G go for what you know . . lol. . .but the hell with it. i’ll play devil’s advocate. let me ask yall some questions . . . lay down on this couch for me. lol.

    why do we expect our current SO to act as they did when they where with their past SO? Is this fair? I’m not who I was 2 years ago when I was in that relationship, why should I act the same, better or worse (hopefully you’re acting better though)?

    why do we try to justify things that offend people? why can’t we just be the bigger person and acknowledge how our actions may have made someone else feel without attempting to justify it? why not just be on some, ” I apologize if my actions made you feel this way”. Why justify it based on how you reacted to a past similiar situation?

  81. dang, 80’s baby broke the silence before me!

  82. “an uncomfortgable silence falls over the blog. . . . . ”

    SERIOUSLY..the CBG is never at a loss for words..

    what to do..what to do.. LOL

  83. Eightys Baby Says:

    dang, 80’s baby broke the silence before me!

    @Rob… Yeah I just had to hop in the director’s chair for a quick lil second 😉

  84. And I love you for doing that Rob & 80s. 😉

    I thought that would make yaw uncomfortable which is why I was gonna not say anything else on it.

    No, it’s not fair to make an S.O behave like they did before. This is probably the reason why your S.O shouldn’t know much about your past relationships- I think if they didn’t, they wouldn’t expect you to do certain things.

    I will admit, I’m pissed right now. I felt like J came out trying to fire unneccesary shots.

  85. actually . . . the “unfair to expect” was for J and the “justify” was for N.

  86. The whole point of me talking about him provoking me, was to show that men do it too, and how I can understand how some people get hit.

    he should not have brought up a past bf because this has nothing to do with the past.. We are talking about me and HIM.

  87. well what is everyone having for lunch and whatnots???

  88. CBG. . . . LOLOLOLOLOL . . . . you can’t ignore the elephant in the room. Look at the elephant! LOOK AT THE ELEPHANT!

  89. @Comeback: Don’t get uncomfortable. I need this. LOL. I feel like it was brought here, so it needs to be dealt with..

    and I would like for yaw to weigh in on it.

  90. RIDE THE ELEPHANT. lol

  91. V Renee Says:

    Eyes wide open! That’s me! Lol. Ummmm I had a chicken salad sor lunch. It was yum yum good!

  92. @ RW..OK..im gonna LOOK at the elephant …

    But I feel like I can’t be impartial. I mean I stan for Sunny and I ride with the yaya’s to the wheels fall off.

    i sorta kinda sorta kinda..kinda sorta feel like Martin shouldn’t have sideswipped Sunny with the ex stuff..thats not fair.

    thats my sorta kinda opinion.

    LUNCH TIME.

  93. LMBO.. I heart you Comeback.

  94. And I sorta kinda sorta kinda feel like Martin was wrong for making this general blog post..exhibit a for his relationship???

    sorta kinda..

  95. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ Everyone

    My thing was why does Nicki try to be discrete and then name drop. Why not just say my name from the beginning if you are going to do it anyway. So I was pissed and said how I felt about that situation at that moment. It wasn’t a shot it was how I felt in that situation listed above and why I said what I said.

    Eveyone getting quiet, well I cannot control other peoples keyboards.

  96. Why would you be pissed over something like that?

    Good grief. It wasn’t even a big deal

    I wasn’t purposely trying to be discrete and purposely name drop.

    It really wasn’t that serious to me.

  97. Martin and Gina Says:

    @CBG

    Everyone knows that story so lets not act yaya’s have not heard the arm twisting joint 10,000 times. If we gon be be real then be real even if you partial to her.

  98. No More Says:

    “well what is everyone having for lunch and whatnots???”

    “RIDE THE ELEPHANT. lol”

    Yall are hilarious!!!!

  99. And then, I asked you on Yahoo, were you pissed.. you said no.. and let me go on like la-di-da-di-da.

    ANd then I come on here and read: “It kills me sometimes how some women can talk about fighting and hitting people when they never have had a physical altercation. My thing is why talk about I will do this and want to do this and you never have (EVER)!! You might as well go sit down somewhere and be quiet. It is like hyping your own self up for no reason, when no real action will come.”

    From this comment, you don’t mention being pissed about me name dropping.

    From this comment, you are calling me a punk.. saying I’m on here talking mess about hititng you but won’t squash a grape.

  100. “Everyone knows that story so lets not act yaya’s have not heard the arm twisting joint 10,000 times. If we gon be be real then be real even if you partial to her.”

    They’ve heard it, and aren’t slapping me in my face with it 10,000 times.. and what does it matter if I told it 10 or 10,000 times? What does that have to do with anything?

  101. “My thing was why does Nicki try to be discrete and then name drop”

    What comment are you talm bout Martin..#5??? i didn’t think Sunny was talm bout you there…But NOW i do since you brought it up.

  102. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    So when you told the story why not just say J? But you kept up the him, and he bit. But effe it, you are the victim here because its your blog LOL!!

  103. Eightys Baby Says:

    @Nicki Sunshine… I want my old Sunny back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!! lol

  104. @ComebacK: I was talking about him, but I really wasn’t “trying to be discrete” in keeping his name out.

    I wasn’t thinking that deep.

    I just typed it.

  105. “Everyone knows that story so lets not act yaya’s have not heard the arm twisting joint 10,000 times.”

    Yeah we know about this story.

  106. No More Says:

    [ignores all warnings in my own head to not ask for details]

    OK, F it…what was the arm twisting story? Im not sure if I was around for that.

  107. @80s: Sunny’s in a corner! lol

  108. V Renee Says:

    I’m riding in the car with rainbow Nicki. And I’m calling flag on the play for a low blow. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Lol

  109. “OK, F it…what was the arm twisting story? Im not sure if I was around for that.”

    @NMH: Some guy I used to date got mad because I wouldn’t drive when he told me to.. he was in the backseat, I was in the front, and he twisted my arm until I began to drive.

  110. Peyso Says:

    @ Nicki and M&G – I didnt know that ya 2 were talkin about each other until ya said ya were talkin about each other

  111. @V: 😉 It was a freaking flag.

    If J was pissed or had an issue, he should’ve said it.. instead of FIRING SHOTS.

  112. Martin and Gina Says:

    @CBG “Yeah we know about this story.”

    So since everyone just about knows the story and its on this post, how did I sideswip her again??

    Your words…

    “i sorta kinda sorta kinda..kinda sorta feel like Martin shouldn’t have sideswipped Sunny with the ex stuff..thats not fair.”

  113. @Peyso: I didn’t know for sure if yaw would figure it out but once I read that comment that he wrote, I was pissed and lashed back.

  114. man . . .blog retailations be that seriousness.

  115. @ Martin…

    I didn’t even know Sunny was talking about you..It was very general. And then i dunno you came on and made it personal. like why does SUNNY do that???

  116. V Renee Says:

    I say we all go to the treehouse for sum milk and cookies. (In my bernie mac voice)

  117. “man . . .blog retailations be that seriousness.”

    As awkward as it’s making yaw feel, (and I apologize sincerely if it is), it’s actualy calming me down. SO I do appreciate it.

  118. Peyso Says:

    @ V Renee- How we gonna get milk and cookies when Him downstairs? lolololololololl rolfmao

  119. V Renee Says:

    Lmao @ peyso. I guess we gotta jump back and bust a move! Rotflmao

  120. Martin and Gina Says:

    @CBG

    You gotta read the whole thing not bits and pieces. It started with #5 followed by #8.

    If I was the person in #5 why wait until #8 to say my name. That is all my point. #57 was a general comment. If it applied to Nicki so be it. BUt I didn’t say she was that person until later. But she was pissed with it anyway. It is how I felt about the whole in my face fight incident so hey…deal with it and roll on. It’s a blog where you can say how you feel. Your friend or not.

  121. Eightys Baby Says:

    How we gonna get milk and cookies when Him downstairs? lolololololololl rolfmao

    @Peyso… This was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    RIP BERNIE MAC!!!!!

  122. “If it applied to Nicki so be it. ”

    @M&G: U know good and well you meant that for me!!!

  123. MARTIN AND GINA…

    LISTEN HERE RIGHT NOW.

    GET YALL A!SS ON THE PHONE AND TALK ABOUT THIS!!!

    thats treehouse orders.

  124. And I was pissed because I felt you were verbally attacking me.. You’ve brought it up before that I’ve never been in a fight and I’ll explain to you AGAIN, liek I did before… no one has ever provoked me to fight. I was never a threat to anyone.

  125. Eightys Baby Says:

    MARTIN AND GINA…

    LISTEN HERE RIGHT NOW.

    GET YALL A!SS ON THE PHONE AND TALK ABOUT THIS!!!

    thats treehouse orders.

    @Comeback…. I 2nd this motion… Anywhere but here 😉

  126. . . . I’m with Peyso. I had to scroll back up cause I didn’t know she was talking about J in the most recent instance either. anywho. . . .

    i think there’s too much unknown to weigh in on it. i could try to show the err in either of your ways (regarding the get the effe out my face incident) but to be honest, i don’t know if i would have reacted the same, better or worse so i couldn’t judge. i can weigh on what’s been said in the blog. hence my questions. i think we care to much about who’s at fault (i do this all the time because I hate being wrong) and don’t focus enough at what the amicable resolution will be. wasted energy to be real.

    let me ask another question, does the exposure of yall’s personal incidents ever assist in resolution of them?

    also, God forbid yall call it quits. . . but would we all have to go to blog family court to see who gets custody of us? like, Nicki gets to blog with us during the week and J gets us on weekends and wednesdays?

  127. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Everyone

    Are you not entertained LMAO!!

  128. @Comeback: Getting on the phone is the ideal situation, but I’m at work.. I try to keep personal affairs out of the work environment.

  129. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    Point Blank I said how I felt…is that wrong???

  130. “let me ask another question, does the exposure of yall’s personal incidents ever assist in resolution of them? ”

    @Rob: Heck no. I think he knows more about my past than I do.

    I just wanted J to see that I’m not the only person that sees that he has some fault it this. I feel that if I told him, he wouldnt’ believe it or thought I was playing victim again.

  131. Jada Says:

    I think what CBG meant was that although we may be aware of the arm twisitng story, or other things she may have shared, we don’t pull that information out and use it against her to make a point, or point out what we perceive to be her faults or how we belive she should handle a situation based on a past experience.

  132. “Point Blank I said how I felt…is that wrong???”

    Let me make sure I understand:

    So you feel like I’m a punk because I’ve never had a fight before?

    And that because I’ve never had a fight before, I shouldn’t be feeling like I want to hit you?

  133. “@Comeback: Getting on the phone is the ideal situation, but I’m at work.. I try to keep personal affairs out of the work environment.”

    I think this warrants a “bathroom break” or a “coffee run”..

  134. “I think what CBG meant was that although we may be aware of the arm twisitng story, or other things she may have shared, we don’t pull that information out and use it against her to make a point, or point out what we perceive to be her faults or how we belive she should handle a situation based on a past experience”

    @Jada: Exactly.. I try to tell him that that’s not how we roll. Everyone has shared something about themselves that was less than complimentary and we dont’ judge eachother for it.

  135. Eightys Baby Says:

    Are you not entertained LMAO!!

    @Martin… Not at all.

  136. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Jada

    It isn’t to show how at fault she was. I asked her to explain how the situation differs. SO the whole Nicki got attacked bit, I aint buying what ya’ll are selling.

  137. No More Says:

    “i think there’s too much unknown to weigh in on it.”

    That’s exactly how I feel. I’m so lost. But since ain’t nobody said they riding with J I will just on the strength of MAN LAW LOL

  138. Jada Says:

    also, God forbid yall call it quits. . . but would we all have to go to blog family court to see who gets custody of us? like, Nicki gets to blog with us during the week and J gets us on weekends and wednesdays

    I am DEAD!

  139. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ No More

    I appreciate dawg!!

    I knew how it would be on here anyway that is why I am not scared of the comments and responses.

  140. “I think this warrants a “bathroom break” or a “coffee run”..”

    LOL. Okay keeping it totally real right now, I need to calm down towards him before we talk about it.

  141. “I think what CBG meant was that although we may be aware of the arm twisitng story, or other things she may have shared, we don’t pull that information out and use it against her to make a point, or point out what we perceive to be her faults or how we belive she should handle a situation based on a past experience.”

    yeah..what Jada said!!!!!!!!!1

  142. “It isn’t to show how at fault she was. I asked her to explain how the situation differs. SO the whole Nicki got attacked bit, I aint buying what ya’ll are selling.”

    But are you even TRYING To undertand the other side?

  143. “I knew how it would be on here anyway that is why I am not scared of the comments and responses.”

    I knew how it would be on here?

    What’s that supposed to mean?

    if you “knew how it would be,” why did you fire shots?

  144. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ Nicki

    I never said you were a punk. I just said why you always talking about I will do this and that. For you own self promotion for the fight…just asking. If you know you would more than likely walk away, why not just say I wouldn’t even dignify it. Why act all big bad and mighty…I will beat the B A*** and all the extra. That was basically what my comment said in a nicer tone for you LOL!!

  145. Eightys Baby Says:

    SO the whole Nicki got attacked bit, I aint buying what ya’ll are selling.

    @Martin… Actually, I didn’t even realize that Nick was talking about you earlier…. I noticed your comment going at her first… And it was like dang he putting her out there ain’t he….And that was uncomfortable for me because I don’t think this is the appropriate place for y’all to discuss y’all personal matters.

    So to get back at her for putting you out there even though NONE of us knew she was talking about you then you decided to get back at her. Which you did.

    I personally didn’t care for that big @zz elephant being brought into the room. Not one bit.

  146. Martin and Gina Says:

    @80’s

    You are entitled to your opinion but you are riding with your girl so what else should I expect.

  147. i’ve always considered telling my wife about this blog but i elect no to in the end. the reality is, as much as I try to contribute to the discussion, i understand (and often state it) that my execution and practice isn’t as well as my preach.

    the last thing i need is my wife chiming in on some, “hmmph. you didn’t take that approach last night!” lol.

    yall might want to leave the personals from to the sideline. contribute, make your opinions. LEARN and then . . . when everyone leaves from their gig . . . . APPLY.

    . . .wait, am I cheating on my wife cause I can’t tell her how i contribute to this other blog i’ve been seeing for the last couple months. oh lawd! i’m an infidel!

  148. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    Because my pistol is always locked and loaded. And you told me yourself that your people on the blog would side with you anyway. So that is what I mean. It came from your mouth so I am just going off of what you convey to me.

  149. “I never said you were a punk. I just said why you always talking about I will do this and that. For you own self promotion for the fight…just asking. If you know you would more than likely walk away, why not just say I wouldn’t even dignify it. Why act all big bad and mighty…I will beat the B A*** and all the extra. That was basically what my comment said in a nicer tone for you LOL!!”

    @M&G: Who is self promoting? does the fact taht I said I wanted to hit you because you were in my face make you think I’m trying to say I am big and bad?

    Does that make you feel liek I’m saying you are less than a man because your woman wanted to hit you?

    That is not the intent.

    when did I say I would beat anyone’s ass?

    The fact is: we argued, you did get in my face after I told you to STOP… I did tell you I wanted to hit you and you persisted.

    But I didn’t hit you.

  150. Peyso Says:

    Ya should get those big ole punching gloves, the ones that dont hurt anyone. And duke it out

  151. “yall might want to leave the personals from to the sideline. contribute, make your opinions. LEARN and then . . . when everyone leaves from their gig . . . . APPLY.

    . . .wait, am I cheating on my wife cause I can’t tell her how i contribute to this other blog i’ve been seeing for the last couple months. oh lawd! i’m an infidel!”

    @Rob: that is much easier to do when you are dealing with a party who listens….

    Who will back down.

    LOL.

  152. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Rob

    I was always against the personals on the blog. Everything that has ever got brought to the blog was because Nicki decided (on her own) she wanted to discuss it here. SO if ya’ll want to know why it is all on here, don’t look at me. I was a lurker LMAO!!!

  153. Peyso Says:

    Eff that, I’m riding w/ my main man J, the LTTP, the Martin of this SSSO blog sh*t. The goonies are here, bird gang. Man vs woman, survivor of the fittest, WE OWT

  154. Eightys Baby Says:

    You are entitled to your opinion but you are riding with your girl so what else should I expect.

    @Martin….It’s not even about riding for my girl… It’s moreso HOPING that you see that intentionally going tit for tat on the blog is not the answer especially when nobody even knew the initial “tit” was put out there.

  155. Hugh Jazz Says:

    I didn’t read all the comments, so I don’t know if I’m repeating what was already said. I will say I don’t condone hitting women. But in this case, if Marcus had punched Kendra through a wall, I probably would have shook his hand and congratulated him on becoming a man.

    If you initiate violence, be prepared to face the consequences, and don’t go running to tell daddy the police after you get KTFO. I don’t understand how women who hit men think they have a right, regardless of what he did, unless he hit her first. The average man is smart enough to know not to physically attack a Shaquille O’Neal or a Michael Clark Duncan because he knows he’ll get pummelled into the ground. So why would a woman do that to a man when they have a similar strength disadvantage?

  156. No More Says:

    “I knew how it would be on here anyway that is why I am not scared of the comments and responses.”

    Mostly the girls are just & fair…instinctively they rip you to shreds first, then they eventually see your point after its too late

  157. “Because my pistol is always locked and loaded. And you told me yourself that your people on the blog would side with you anyway. So that is what I mean. It came from your mouth so I am just going off of what you convey to me.”

    @M&G: And there we are bringing up the past….. that was another situation that had NOTHING to do with this one…..

    STOP BRINGING UP STUFF OUTSIDE OF THIS. And let’s be clear here, I didn’t say everyone would side with me. I was talking about those who KNEW the situation.

  158. Martin and Gina Says:

    @ Peyso

    Where can we get them LMAO!!! Or them bats they had on the Jeffersons LOL!!

  159. I think this calls for a face to face YAYA vs. YOYO..

    PAINT BALL FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  160. J, did I MAKE you comment?

    You couldn’ve easily said no or not commented.

    Peyso: You are OUTNUMBERED. lol.

  161. “Mostly the girls are just & fair…instinctively they rip you to shreds first, then they eventually see your point after its too late”

    That was sweet NoNo…you want a cookie..

  162. Martin and Gina Says:

    @80’s

    This is not a personal matter. The incident is something that happens so long ago I don’t even remember so its not even worth an offline discussion to me.

  163. Jada Says:

    Mostly the girls are just & fair…instinctively they rip you to shreds first, then they eventually see your point after its too late

    You missed us didn’t you NoMo? We love you too dear!

    BTW…remind me not to EVER tell my SO about my blogging habits.

  164. No More Says:

    Paintball is a sport Comeback. I thought sports, fun and happy things go against what you stand for

  165. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    Yeah I could have not commented until I had someone yapping in my ear talking about check out SSSO J. It is really good. Funny how everytime you lure me to the site, you are talking about me LOL!! That is hilarious.

  166. @nick:

    word choice – – – – “Who will back down.”

    fail! lol

    and i think you were doing it purposely, but to be real it’s an example of how women are much smarter at the word game. for example if Me and Peyso where going at it and one of us said “Who will back down” we would have to get each other’s email an arrange a good ol brawl . . . and it wouldn’t matter if he’s in NYC (i think that’s where he’s at) and i’m in the Chi. It’ll be like. . . “yo, meet me in Cleveland on Saturday Son!” . . .

    . . . is my attempt at bringing it full circle working?

  167. “BTW…remind me not to EVER tell my SO about my blogging habits.”

    EXACTLY…I say “I blog about gold fish”…

  168. NEVER TELL YOUR S.O ABOUT THE BLOG.

    I’ll say it and say it again.

  169. Martin and Gina Says:

    @Nicki

    “NEVER TELL YOUR S.O ABOUT THE BLOG.”

    Thank you for the public service announcement

    Have sweater with that and just chill LOL!!

  170. Jada Says:

    I’ll say it and say it again

    LOL. You live and you learn e-twin. Everything will be ALRIGHT!

  171. “LOL. You live and you learn e-twin. Everything will be ALRIGHT!”

    @jada: Exactly doll. 😉

  172. “Paintball is a sport Comeback. I thought sports, fun and happy things go against what you stand for”

    How come NoNo when I try to give you a compliment you go and KILL IT…**takes cookie back**

  173. V Renee Says:

    I want it to be over! This has gone on long enough. This isn’t man V woman. Yall on a public forum and while I can’t tell if its a comedy or scary movie, the reality is its neither. Yall have to be together when this over and live with one another. Don’t put this show on for us!! Let it go!!! Go home have it out and then have make up secks! Lol

  174. @V: I’m cool right now though..

    And done with the monkey show.. I’ve put my real life side on blast enough, and I didn’t want you guys to see that!!!!!!!

  175. yay for make up secks! i’m about to call my wife and start a fight just so we can have make up secks!

    Ring! Ring!

    Wife: “Hey there!”

    Rob: “Figures (in snotty tone)!”

    Wife: “Figures what?”

    Rob: “Figures you’d be having a “Hey There” kind of day” All cheery and ish! I dont see why you have to mock me like that. Everybody life aint all chipper and what not! I get it though. You’re trying to emasculate me. I see what you’re doing. You’re not slick.”

    Wife: “Huh?”

    Rob: “Don’t huh me! You know exactly what the hell I’m talking about. Really. NO REALLY! That hurts. You don’t . . . you know . . .just forget it. . . I gotta get back to my not so “Hey There” life” .

    CLICK! (Rob Hang’s up the phone and doesn’t pick back up, while rubbing hands together with fendish look and giggle. Bwaaahhahahaha)

  176. FlawedBeauty Says:

    I wanna thank you all for commenting today.

    I see some interesting things happened while I was away.

    @NIck, Martin&Gina

    I’m going to wish you two luck and leave it alone. Much like V…I don’t know if this is comedy or what but I am certainly not entertained. I wish you both good luck and Godspeed.

  177. V Renee Says:

    I am dead weak at robert! Make up secks is great though! Lmao

  178. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @V

    We always knew Roberty was a nutty one lol….

    Make up secks is great…we should write a song about it…

    I’m giving you some make up secks…

  179. @FB: you know you done fell for that befo! ended up doing monkey flips in the bedroom to make “him downstairs” feel betta.

  180. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Robert

    Nah…not really but he’s fallen for it for me…

    I put on chexually frustrated skits…like the skits V does but as a means to an end.

    Do you really fake fights Rob..come on you can tell us?

  181. I’m married. I don’t have to fake a fight. trust me, i have or soon will forgot something that i was supposed to do that i didn’t that i’m gonna get in trouble for which she’ll get mad and then we’d have to have make up secks.

    all i have to do is be patient and it’s going down like we’s just started dating!

  182. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Rob

    So are you purposefully forgetting things to make up?

    I mean I feel like you’re playing your wife’s chexual emotions.

  183. nope. i’m just a man. if it isn’t your birthday, our anniversary, sports related or important to me. . . it takes extra effort to remember stuff.

  184. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Rob now that’s just ridiculous.

    I charge all men to do better about remembering things…

    AND LIES…you do not remember anniversaries…etc.

  185. i do too. . . . i have an Iphone! Calendar function syncs all my Outlook accounts everywhere!

  186. @Robert: I’;m not a man and i have the same issue.

  187. FlawedBeauty Says:

    Well that’s why you remember…of your own will and volition you do not…

    @Nick

    No comment to you ma’am …you know you different.

  188. LOL! thank you very much.

  189. FlawedBeauty Says:

    HAHA…,,

    You are welcome dollface!

  190. good post. I do actually think that the abusers believe they love, and in some cases actually do love, the person(s) they are abusing. Misplaced love, but still love.

    I have personally never hit a woman. I think it’s cowardly and my grandma said she would disown me if I ever hit a woman. Although I have wanted to push a girl several time (I wanted to leave her house and she physically would not let me. She would not moved from in front of the door). I still didn’t hit her though, I just sat there on the stairs and said nothing. So what should I have done in that case? I think I’ll blog about that myself.

    On the same token, I’m not letting a woman hit me. When voices and tones get out of hand, I’m likely to just leave. I don’t like arguments cause women seem to go REAL hard with their emotions and logic and facts dont often seem to be there.


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