Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

A DNA Discussion October 27, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — cuzzo @ 8:15 pm

How does a man let a woman – not just ANY woman but, HIS woman, as in current significant other – know he has suspicions about the paternity of their unborn child? Whether she became pregnant early on in the relationship, or years later…the subject will always be touchy. it’s not like you guys have been on and off, the relationship was consistant but in the age of Maury Povich, there is always room for doubt.

As a woman who has been faced with this question (not during the relationship but well after our child was born), it’s kind of like a low blow. I can admit that I was shocked and offended at the time but, after hearing things from the other side (one of my male friends is about to have a child with his girlfriend whom had suspect activities during the beginning of their relationship, around the same time she became pregnant – I told him to get a DNA test), I’m slightly less offended 🙂

A different male friend told me he’d get a DNA test for EVERY one of his children even if he remained with a woman for a long time. I guess it works like a prenup now. In case things don’t work out, that DNA test is your insurance (and assurance) that you are taking care of YOUR child. But, anyway, like the prenup conversation…how do you bring about the DNA question? Hopefully, not after the child is born….which is what I told me friend.

Ladies: How would you feel if your SO asked for a paternity test of your unborn child? Fair? Offensive?

Men: Would you ever feel the need to ask? At what point and how would ask?



10 Responses to “A DNA Discussion”

  1. i think the whole premise is ghetto fabulous and trashy..and i really wish my HUSBAND would question the paternity of my child.

  2. Shawnta` Says:

    Yes, I would be highly offended if my husband asked for a paternity test. I would be pissed & hurt…like “Seriously, dude, what do you think of me?” I agree with @cbg; he better not even think about asking me, ESPECIALLY since I have given him no reason to suspect otherwise.

  3. LP Says:

    I hope I am never in the vicinity of men who will have to ask me for a DNA test. Are we being tongue-in-cheek here, or does this actually really happen in real life? Like my husband/fiance is going to ask me for a DNA test? Wha?

    What happen to good-old fashioned trust and NOT having children with people we don’t trust? Like Sister Toldja said and I quote, forget a pregnancy, “they are still making the AIDS you know?”… Why can’t people use adequate protection to avoid being in those situations in the first place?

    But I surely hope this does not occur in the majority of cases because if it does, it’s certainly very sad.

  4. Eightys Baby Says:

    I would be HIGHLY Offended if my SO asked for a paternity test… For one I’m not the one to have ANY kind of I’m gonna do me moments nor am I participating in shady activity .. 80s don’t get down like that.

    Especially considering if my SO knew my previous sexual history.. I really WISH a ninja would…..

  5. LaPreghiera Says:

    I agree with concur with all the ladies, I don’t expect to have kids with anyone but my husband, and it will be knock down drag out he come to me with some stuff like that.
    Then my next issue would be, why is he suspecting me? Should I have the paternity of his close single female friend’s child questioned?
    The stuff don’t just come out of the clear blue….

  6. Jac Says:

    I really wish a MF would.

    I would cut his d*ck off. End of story.

  7. How you tell her? Real Simple!

  8. wow. that is a great question.

    I want to say I’d ask and at this point in my life, I believe that to be true. But at the same time, if I’m married, 10 years into it, I don’t think I’d ask. I don’t even think I’d ask if I had a tried and true committed relationship. I think that could be extremely hurtful to a woman, but I would try to be as nice as I could.

    In this day and age though, you have to learn to be careful. So it’s probably better for your womans feelings to be hurt fora few days over a test, then for yours to be hurt 10 years later after you find out that lil princess you’ve been raising…IS NOT YOURS.

  9. Shawnta` Says:

    @RW: Out of control! Funny! Uhm…that is NOT how you tell her. LOL!

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