Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

No Babies, Ever, Ever, Ever… November 1, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 8:33 pm
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ADMIN NOTE:  You’ll notice lots of new faces popping up here at SSSO… Today welcome DCDatingDiva!

Babies are the Devil?

 

I don’t think I want children. Ever. However this past weekend, I found myself looking at all of the infants being pushed around in strollers, being carried kangaroo style by loving mommies and daddies, and I seen the absolutely cutest pint-sixed Halloween costumes. Then I thought to myself:

“Aweeee, how cute, could I do that?”….

I know after the newness wears off, I’d be faced with piles of dirty diapers, feedings, 3am screaming at the top of the lung wake-up calls, and no ME time and let me be honest, I LOVE my me time.

When I meet guys, especially new guys, they are floored at the fact that I’m pushing 30, and do not have not one midget diva running around. Then I politely say or rather yell. “Hell no, not me….uhhhh un, nope, nadda”.  Some guys find it funny, others make promises that “I will carry their seedlings” (and I make mental note to self, do not return his call), an ex said it was a deal breaker and someone that I’ve been dating on & off for the last, insert number of years here, has made a few statements in passing about me being a good mother. Which, over time, I’m sure I could be a good one, but I think I make a better “Auntie”, cause I can sugar them up and send them home.  I have yet to discover a rent-a-baby.

I know there are some people who really, really want kids, and give me the side-eye, once the topic comes up and I rebuke it. I’m not a monster. In fact, it’s best that I don’t have any children and I wish the “bad” parents would have analyzed it the way I did before they got knocked up or done the knocking up.

Other Reasons Why Tots Are Not For Me:

  • I love sleeping in
  • I love vacationing, preferably at places that have age restrictions. I don’t want to be around your children while I’m on vacation
  • I love shopping and not having to worry about if the little rug-rat has to potty, breastfeed, be escorted to the potty…you get the point
  • I like having the option of just going. If I want to pack my bags & move, or take a last-minute trip somewhere I can do that
  • I can’t see myself having kids with any guys I currently know or have known in the past
  • Money. Enough said
  • I think pregnant women are adorable, however, giving up all things I love for 9 months is not sexy

So what do you say family? Do you see children in your future, why or why not?

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25 Responses to “No Babies, Ever, Ever, Ever…”

  1. Peyso Says:

    I want kids b/c I think I’d be a great dad. The SO told me that toddlers make her uterus giggle.

  2. LaPreghiera Says:

    I agree with all your reasons I’m glad most days not to have a kid but I want kids, I am so interested in seeing what my offspring will look like. Birthing freaks me out – I hate needles – but I hate pain-so what does one do???
    And yes @30, per family history discussed in a previous post, to not have a brat or divorce under my belt makes me somewhat of an enigma. I’ve had someone’s baby on my hip since I was 10 (she is in college now and just got a lip piercing), my current babe is Andrew aka Jumpin Jax, he’ll be one after christmas. Love sending them back to their people at the end of the day, or when they stink, but yeah I want one, but a good husband first. Even if, Lord Forbid!!!, I hit forty single I will try to push one out by 45.

  3. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Peyso…

    I think you’d be a great dad too… your kids would be so daggone smart though… My kids are already jealous!

    And does she mean they make her uterus giggle? Is this good or bad? LOL

    @LaP

    Girl… you will NOT hit 40 single… He is out there.. .and his sperm are prolly READY! I say go for it… and you’re right I think there’s something to be said for reaching a certain point and not having kids, divorces, etc.

    For me… I am amazed that I’m 23 and childless!

  4. “they are floored at the fact that I’m pushing 30,”

    How exactly are you pushing 30 at 23?? lol

  5. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @CBG

    I’ll assume that’s directed @ me…

    I’m not… Diva is!

  6. Dang Jac, you didn’t have to denounce 30 so vehemently, lol.

    Funny, I wonder what Uterus giggling feels like. Mine feels like someone uses it for a punching bag, about once a month. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like after birthing…

    I have a few female friends who are single & want children, and said they would push one out, if they don’t get married by 33/35

  7. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @Diva

    Hey girl… I did not denounce it… I cannot wait to be 30 really…

    Right.. does that feel like bubbles? Yes my uterus often feels like a punching bag… that gets knifed.

    Push one out via donor?

  8. QueenT Says:

    I have two kids. I started having my kids at 33 after I was married (I am now divorced). I think, the early to mid 30’s is a perfect time. However, if you are waiting on marriage, which is preferable, timing may not go as planned. To your single friends who are contemplating a baby out of the bounds of marriage, I would say, just be sure the man you are choosing to have this child with is going to be supportive in every way….

  9. Peyso Says:

    I think the giggling means that she wants a toddler. Notice I say toddler. She is afraid of little babies (she thinks they are too small lol and she’s afraid to drop one) and older than 10 she hates them

  10. I stopped dating a really awesome guy (well actually I refused to date him, long story) because he wanted kids and I don’t. He said he would be cool with that, but I know he wasn’t because all he talked about was having kids with me…

    Suffice it to say, although he was totally amazing, great on paper, and would probably make a great Dad…I just couldn’t. There were a couple of other issues too, but that was definitely one of the main ones….

  11. Eightys Baby Says:

    @FB….I’m glad I came back and seen that you noted that this is from another writer because I kept reading it like uhhhhhh this does not sound like FB at all….. I kept scrolling up like it says she posted it but she’s not pushing 30 at all…. I was confused like where this different persona come from 😉

    @DCDD….. I see children in my future but definitely no time soon…… Right now I love being able to up and go whenever I choose and do everything that I want to do when I want to do it…. And surprisingly my family is not on me about having kids or getting married anytime soon. A lot of them did that when they were early twenties and they’re telling me I’m doing things that they were never able to do because they were having babies… Eventually yeah….

    In regards to you no longer dating that man that wanted kids… My friend is in a similar situation where her dude mentions that its a 80 percent chance that he doesnt want kids…..And I know she does. She’s always talked about it. So now when I hear her talking about IDK about kids it makes me sad especially because I know its only because of him…. Kudos to you for refusing to date him considering you two not what you want/don’t want and it’s two different things… I wish my friend could do the same….

  12. POW Says:

    You are a great “aunt” but I think one day you’ll get the baby bug. I said I didn’t want kids ever but now that I have your nephew I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  13. “@CBG

    I’ll assume that’s directed @ me…

    I’m not… Diva is!

    Ok thanks for ADDING the admin note..that wasn;t there when i commented.

  14. @ 80’s baby – yeah, there were a few other factors too. I think he was compromising for the time being, because he wanted a relationship, and he probably figured he could change my mind later

    @POW I love my smart nephew, he’s like uber funny & totally chill, however I just can’t do it. I don’t knock you or anyone else for making the decision to do so, it takes a strong person to raise great children

    @ Everyone Dating someone with Children… yes or no???

  15. LP Says:

    I am a baby lover. 🙂 … I love babies and they love me back. I would love to have kids in the very near future, whether born or adopted. I just like the idea of a big family like the one I grew up in.

    And I am also looking forward to the process of pregnancy. The changes my body will go through and the connection I will eventually feel with that being inside of me.

    I have always liked kids and much like Peyso’s girlfriend, I was more into toddlers and young kids than babies. But ever since the clock started ticking, even the wrinkly pink ones seem cute. What can I say? 🙂

  16. LP Says:

    @ Everyone Dating someone with Children… yes or no???

    I would rather not. I would like to share the experience of a first kid with my SO…

    But for someone who doesn’t want kids, it could be ideal!

  17. Tunde Says:

    i want children (3 to be specific) one day. right now i KNOW i’m not ready for children both financially and emotionally. i think i will make an excellent father one day but right now i’m enjoying my freedom and honing my skills on my nieces, nephews and friend’s children. lol

  18. LaPreghiera Says:

    @ Everyone Dating someone with Children… yes or no???
    Absolutely not, got my reasons

    @DCDD: Mad respect for you giving up the brother. I don’t believe its fair to you or the other person to haggle over this thing for years til your clock is ticking (if you wanted kids) or he creeps out and gets biologicals with someone else that will visit you weekly if you tried to stay together, when you know in your heart what you want.
    I made a comment on a brothas page when he was adamant about not having another child (1 and done). I’m like:
    Can you give up the flyest woman, with bomb sex, perfect in everyway except she wants marry quick and live like Michelle Duggar?
    Will you go get surgically sterilized now? The average woman ain’t looking to trap a man, but they want the option -hahaha
    Are you prepared to pay my birth control prescription forever or never go raw if a woman don’t want to take birth control, especially if you’re not sterile?
    Have some balls (pun intended) behind your words, what are you willing to do to ensure you have no more kids….So you have my respect, and if you want this other dude’s blog page to connect, hit me up sis!

  19. experienceaurie Says:

    I think that I will have at least 2 children if I’m blessed enough to have that honor. I always joke with my SO about having way too many children, but I would honestly say no more than 3.

    I am actually pushing 30 soon, so I only have a few years before I have to get really focused on us having our own children and after marriage naturally as well.

  20. @ LP – I think babies are adorable. I just like giving them back to whomever they belong to.

    I am interested in the blog you were talking about, I’ll shoot you an e-mail

    @Tunde – That doesn’t surprise me, you seem like the type

    @Experience – kuddos to waiting…and atleast you don’t have to worry about the clock ticking like women, guys can have children anytime

  21. studentoflife Says:

    I am happy that I married and had kids young (married at 20, first child at 22, second at 24) because now I’m 35 and they’re almost out of the house! I don’t recommend the getting married at a young age, but it worked out for me (minus the divorce when I was 32. Children aren’t for everyone and like you, I wish more people realized that. I prefer people not wanting kids than others pushing out kid after kid only to neglect them and their parenting duties in exchange for partying and trying to have more ‘Me’ time than any person should ever require. Be proud to know what you want and know that you’re entitled to change your mind when it suits you – IF it suits you. 🙂

  22. No. Don’t want them. Ever.

    Grown folks annoy me, let alone kids. I like to do whatever, whenever. I’m selfish, I don’t want to learn patience. I don’t want to call a babysitter. I don’t want to change diapers.

    HOWEVER, I do believe that you need to help people in your life, that’s a must. So I’d volunteer or join some mentorship for young black men at some point, but I definitely want to just live without children.

    If I have some though, they’ll get my all.

  23. peyso hit it on the head too….Toddlers are cool. When they are in that, do whatever you say happily stage. They’re like little puppets. My little brother was great, until he turned 10 or so, then he started making his up his own mind and telling me “no”….it was all bad after that. I rather have a nice lil pit bull.

    as for dating a woman with kids…..no. Date, as in consistently spending time with and going out with, NO. Although I do have one woman who has two sons that i like and have messed with for quite some time, I’ve never met her sons, don’t want to. Date as in……..have sex with occasionally, SURE.

  24. AnonyMiss Says:

    I’ve always had an obsession with babies….lol For as long as I can remember whenever there’s a baby in the room I’m the first to run to him/her… I think it’s their innocence I love so much. I also love feeling needed/wanted and children require a lot of care and I enjoy giving it. I can’t wait to be a mommy. =) I’m 19 so still got some years to go before I’ll really be ready (financially at least)… but I would like to have between 4-6 children.

  25. iloveketa Says:

    hey this my 1st time on here but I’m a believer!i’ll be back!


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