Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Ink-Stained Tuesdays #1 An Ode to the Dinosaur November 10, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 10:22 am

Welcome To Ink-Stained Tuesdays…A few hours late Thanks to the Author’s obsessing over a football game you may have cared little about.

I am your Weekly Host, Inkognegro.  Ink, Inky, Sir, “That guy on Twitter with the cute baby in his avi”  any of those will do.

I will save any other formal introduction for the Beautiful and Wonderful  Administrator of this fine Blog and Get on with it, since I am already late.

I am a movie buff.

Does that mean you will find me posted up at  the local cineplex destined for whatever the big hit is supposed to be that weekend?  No.

It means I take movies seriously, both for the stories they tell and for the the pictures they paint.

When a movie speaks to me…it speaks to me in the framework of that film, in my life, and in society at large.

I saw A Few Good Men in the theaters in 1992.  I was young  and living in Southern California.  I considered myself a good man, but not one who was attractive to the women around me. So much so that I was attending movies alone and losing the love of my High School years to an older white man she worked with back in Pittsburgh while I was creating what I THOUGHT was a new life for us in California. (Chuckles at my naivety of the moment)

The movie was good enough…although I am convinced Jack Nicholson STILL feels pains in his back from carrying Tom Cruise in the movie.

Even people who haven’t seen the movie know one of Jack’s most oft quoted lines explodes out.


Yeah, yeah, yeah.  We all know that line.   But what about what comes after?  What came AFTER is what sets the movie apart.

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know — that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

Jack says that he is a necessary Evil.  That it is a necessity for men to exist as they do.  That it while it may be okay for these punk-ass Touchy Feely new age mofos to walk the earth, HIS existence is forged in decades/centuries of survival and protection.  which leads him to say this:

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall — you need me on that wall.

Ahh…There is that code word.  You NEED men like him.  STILL.  Because, Damnit, you just cant count on those touchy feely mofos to protect you when the chips go down.

We use words like “honor,” “code,” “loyalty.” We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.

The background of this story is that Jack on trial for murder for ordering two soldiers to assault a third (Santiago). Essentially Killing one to save many.  Honorable, Indeed.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand the post. Either way, I don’t give a DAMN what you think you’re entitled to!

Ole Jack basically tells the lil’ Couch Jumping Scientologist to strap up and get like him or STFU and go make Cocktail 2.  He got this.  If I were writing the remake, I would have had Jack stand up and pull out his 9 and Scream “WHOSE GONNA CHECK ME, BOO?” But that’s just me.

I posted this soliloquoy as a jumping off point for my personal agenda in joining this blog.

Jack’s character is a symbol of the old patriarchal order.  One who was charged with protection of the Home, the neighborhood, and the society at large.  He is basically on trial, as he sees it, for doing his job; a trial perpetrated by people who have no respect for the luxuries his way of doing things have provided them.  Many Black men currently chafe under what they see as a new standard of conduct as well.  This is the symbolism I am using as a jumping off point.

I will be posting every Tuesday and alternating Thursday with the great Peyso(Peace to the Don) focusing on what I view as the fascinating evolution of the Black woman in light of a combination of forces from without and within.  The ongoing and now critical importance of Black women heading and (co-heading)  households has created a new urgency for Black women to embody many gender roles preiously reserved for men.  Many of these younger women are raised from little girls with the inner strength and drive to ascend to HoH (head of household) Status.  Even more are raised in a confusing duality that asks them to be hawks in the field and doves on home base.

Sending these hyper evolved creatures into a world where Dinosaurs are still being born and raised.

And you wonder why they are constantly at war.

Your questions and comments will be addressed today and inform Thursday’s post, feel free to jump in.


20 Responses to “Ink-Stained Tuesdays #1 An Ode to the Dinosaur”

  1. FlawedBeauty Says:

    The administrator of said blog will I’m sure be introducing ALL of the key players to said blog no later than next monday…

    Please, please forgive my tardiness to the introduction party.

    Ink, I think you have some very valid points and while I was only 6 in 1992 I actually understand exactly where you are coming from.

    As a woman, I’ve been taught to soften my demeanor (in fact still being told) but be a go-getter. It’s extremely difficult to do both, but I understand why that needs to happen.

    When I think about the type of men I need and want I think of someone who is hard. When I say hard, I mean he is the protector of my home, of me and everything that we’ve built together. In fact, I like to think of it in the way a man I met last year told me. He said, “I am a man, and my home is my castle and everything in it will be protected and paid for BY ME” *blink* I could not believe him, but when I thought about it it made perfect sense.

    The sad thing is, there’s not enough men like that left and if there are they are hiding behind their mama’s panties or attempting to be rougher than they actually need to in an attempt to prove how much of a man they are thus diminishing their actual value as a man.

    To be honest, Ink, I’m really not sure what needs to happen in order to raise men and women to reach what we had oh say 50 years ago. I think the caliber of man and woman has definitely changed and with the independence of woman and the denigration of man there was been a shift, not just in power but in thought and theory.

  2. Shawn Smith Says:

    Great post.

    I’ve been thinking about this “war” that we have been in.

    The war you ask, Men vs. Women.

    Our battles: chivalry, love, relationships, roles, communication, sex….just to name a few.

    One of these days I’ll take the time out to explain my thoughts in greater detail.

  3. FlawedBeauty Says:


    Why not explain in greater detail today.

    I think men need women to balance and assist…

  4. Shawn Smith Says:

    Can’t get into it today….. a little thing called work.

    Besides, the war I’m talking about is more about how everyone is pointing the finger at the other and saying “you need to do better” and how it’s getting out of hand.

    In our quest to “do better” and in some cases “out do” one another, we have forgotten what the real prise is supposed to be.

  5. LP Says:

    Oh my God, that was a beautiful post!!!

    As a movie buff meself, I really appreciated the analogy and I seriously can’t wait to see where you take us during that ride!

    Potential question: why do you think women around you at the time (1992) were not interested in you? Reading like you do, I’m sure you’ve surmised a few theories as to why. Hopefully, we’ll get to hear them all.

    Great addition to the line-up!

  6. FlawedBeauty Says:


    Yes. I absolutely agree there’s a lot of pointing the finger and saying well if you had done this then I could have done that. Personal accountability has indeed gone the way of the petticoat. It’s really rather ridiculous and sad that it has be to be that way.

    And I’m curious about the real prize? Is it true love and companionship or something else?


    Hey girl! Isn’t Ink just great? I hope to hear the answer to your question too… I’m wondering if it’s an age issue? (Not at all to belittle my age or Ink’s or anyone elses)

  7. JG* Says:

    This is a great post and I look forward to reading more. I’m kind of old-fashioned when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex so these days I keep my mouth shut for the most part. This works out for me in that I don’t get bashed by various women for my thoughts, and I can sit back and learn which men are most likely on the same page as me. Dating in these times has gotten too confusing for a southern island girl like myself. I’ve just begun to keep it pretty simple.

    But I do look forward to the rest of your writing!

  8. saga Says:

    @Shawn – completely agree with the following (and you said it much nicer than I would’ve):

    Besides, the war I’m talking about is more about how everyone is pointing the finger at the other and saying “you need to do better” and how it’s getting out of hand.

    In our quest to “do better” and in some cases “out do” one another, we have forgotten what the real prise is supposed to be.

    @ink: I love you like the left nut that I’d rather not have (which is actually a LOT, despite how that sounds), but you know you raised my hackles with the whole “let me, a dinosaur, focus on what the higher-beings are doing”. I know I’m ON one today, so I’m tying my typing fingers, and lovingly waiting for you to expound….lol.

  9. inkognegro Says:

    @FB Well….youve cut to the heart of the matter. Sorta.

    You are espousing your love for the very Dinosaur Jack Nicholson is portraying.

    I am Calling him a Dinosaur in part because he cannot possibly survive in the current social climate.

    But then I would be jumping ahead, wouldn’t I.

    Thanks for the comment. I look forward to your input. Feel free to jump in in bits and pieces as you see fit.

    Thank you for appreciating the post.
    I will be delving deeply into my psyche. 39 years of psyche. The short and dirty answer is that No one told me guys like me would EVER be hot in the streets. So I didn’t act like I should be approaching women until well…Two marriages later I am STILL working on just what is going on.

  10. inkognegro Says:

    Whoaaaaa. I AM NOT A DINOSAUR. I Like to think of myself as a more highly evolved being. One who understands the current environment.

    I take GREAT pains to let those hyper-evolved creatures tell their own stories. I am only an obvserver. If I MISS….thats there you all come in to set me straight.

    This is a den for hyper-evolved creatures…I am invited in as an outside observer. I’m just reporting on the playing field.

  11. I don’t have anything to add…I’m still digesting the post as well as the comments. Very well done and I’ll be back.

  12. inkognegro Says:

    @JG. Im clearly gonna have to read your blog to get a sense of all this simplicity.

  13. V Renee Says:

    Nothing to add. Great post though!!

  14. Hugh Jazz Says:

    This is probably the best post I’ve read in three months.

  15. iloveketa Says:

    damn yo, that shit was thorough.i think this is the best post i have read in a new here but i look forward to your entries-and i saw that damn movie-but the true purpose of the dialog didnt resonate then as it did just now-good shit sherlock–>gucci!

  16. JG* Says:

    @Inkognegro… LOL I suppose. My version of simplicity is honesty. In my very limited experience…. the times where I didn’t speak up… things were complicated… the times in which I am honest… things go easier. Nothing in life is easy, but I try my hardest to simplify in certain areas.

  17. FlawedBeauty Says:


    Yessir… you’d be jumping ahead…

    I like to think of you more as a lizard ;0)


    I feel exactly where you are coming from. It’s like you wanna be simple and easy, but for me, men won’t let me be great in that arena.

  18. JG* Says:

    @FlawedBeauty…well after a few missteps I’m finally being allowed to be great. 😉 Just in time too if you ask me. LOL

  19. saga Says:

    @ink – sorry about the dinosaur comment. Totally misunderstood. I’m retying my typing fingers. 😉

  20. I loved the use of this soliloquy. As I was reading it (I don’t know why but) my mind did wonder off for a moment and compared it to the battle of the sexes.

    I am looking forward to reading your posts as I am sure they will be insightful and touch upon many points that provide a better understanding of the gender wars; why they exist and what we can do to move past them.

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