Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Where Have All The Parents Gone? November 29, 2009

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 11:42 pm

 

I know that seems like a nuts question after all of have (or had parents), some of us are parents and I’m sure a lot of us hope to be parents in the future.  But over the past two or three weeks of times it seems as though parents have lost their complete minds.  Since I don’t have children I often play surrogate mommy to kids who already exist and I make it my first priority to insure they are safe.  I have that instinct, sue me.  Anyways, the first case I caught was the case of Shaniya Davis.  When I first saw this beautiful five year old on Nancy Grace she was missing.  From all accounts it seemed that she might actually have just been kidnapped but after a few days of speculation we learned that Shaniya had been murdered and it was possible that her tiny five year old frame had been raped and sodomized.  To add insult to injury it turns out that Shaniya’s mother, Antoinette Davis, actually sold the child for drugs, etc.  and is now being charged with human trafficking.

Just one week later, I found myself staring at the break room TV as the case of Angel Perez flashed across the screen. Apparently his mother left him in the car while she ran into the post office.  Witnesses saw a woman walk across the parking lot with an infant and we have still heard nothing further about this child’s whereabouts.

The VERY NEXT DAY, on my way to work I am hearing the DJ talk about how the previous afternoon he went outside to find two kids strapped in a car.  Mind you, I live in Alabama and while temperate it is much too cool to have children strapped in the car like that.  Anyways, he went on to detail that numerous people were looking to see what was going on with the children and after putting the stories together realized the children had been in the car approximately three hours.  Personally, I was appalled and I want to know why this is happening.

So… to the parents, non-parents and future parents:  Why is this happening?  Are people tired of their children?  If so, why are you having them over and over again?  Do you think this fundamental lack of watching kids starting from infancy is contributing to other societal problems (stories like Precious, for example)? Also, do you think that people have children at young ages is problematic as well?

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10 Responses to “Where Have All The Parents Gone?”

  1. The FonZ Says:

    Human being is created perfectly, complete with the mind and other abilities. Animals dont have the minds, only instinct to protect their offsprings. When people did all those terrible things to children, actually at that time, they were like ‘ animals ‘ or maybe worse. Normal human beings will not behave like animals.

  2. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @The FonZ

    Hi. Thanks for commenting. I have a great propensity toward agreeing with you here when you say the people act as “animals” but even animals have the idea to protect their offspring, after all survival of the fittest is key.

    And I cannot be sure whether it’s the parents who behaved as animals or whether it was the people who committed the acts against the children. Shaniya and Angel would’ve never been put in those positions had their mothers acted responsibly instead of selfishly.

  3. outofhand Says:

    I think there are so many issues here:

    Some people should just not be reproducing (as harsh as that sounds it is so true). I am still sad, mad and all other emotions at Shaniya’s Mother (whatever the story may be) she did not take care of her child with care. It is so popular to see women with kids leaving their children/exposing their children to men that have no business being around them or children (in the name of wanting a man in their lives).

    In some cases, you have evil monsters that harm children despite the parents protection efforts. However, I am tired of hearing about all these cases (esp with women) that expose their children to extreme dangers…think Ms Davis, Ms. Hudson, etc.

    It takes maturity to assume responsibility for your own self let alone someone else…I would say people are having children while they are still too immature (age has nothing to do with that…sometimes)

    I also think women need to stop having babies so much when they are in relationships that are not so stable (yes there is no guarantee with any relationship but my goodness stop having three, four children from different men…you yourself are not stable, your children come into this world experiencing this instability and they tend to suffer from it). Sorry about the tangent, I do not mean to speak bad about anyone’s situation but it has gotten out of hand.

  4. The FonZ Says:

    There is at least one reason for having children, that is to love them. Yes i do agree that there are so many issues. Sometimes certain cases are different from others even though they may look the same. For those who have hearts for children, they cannot even imagine hurting them, let alone abusing them. So have children only when you can take that ‘ responsibility ‘ .

  5. swade513 Says:

    I agree somewhat with the comments posted before me. I am a responsible 23 yr old single mom of a 2 yr old, and i believe age has nothing to do with how you protect and provide for your child. I absolutely agree it has all to do with the maturity level of the parent. Raising a child is by far the most challenging AND rewarding experience i’ve ever had in my life. But sadly not all parents think that way and end up resenting their children and thus the lack of emotion they feel towards them. Responsible parents are somewhat an anamoly now a days due mainly to parents having to work more to provide for more, also because when an irresponsible parent doesnt want to step up someone else will. Antoinette Davis is clearly someone who absolutely didnt need to have a child, it was made apparent by the fact that the childs father raised her for most of her life. I pray for the kids whose parents are absolute monsters. People sometimes dont think of the effect their actions may have on future generations. It really makes me wonder, if this surge of child abuse and neglect is becoming blatantly apparent now….how will it be 5 or 10 years from now?????

  6. FlawedBeauty Says:

    @OutOfHand

    Yes, I do think some people should have to take a test or something before they can give birth or reproduce. All these things are really out of control to me. It makes zero since to me.

    Also, personal responsibility is something that we all lack in certain situations. It does seem that many parents are unsure of how to do certain things and might get overwhelmed with the day to day of it all.

    Finally, you are correct, WOMEN NEED TO STOP HAVING BABIES WITH MEN WHO AIN’T TRYNA BE THERE. If your relationship is already rocky you can bet that having a baby is darn sure not going to strengthen it. A baby is not glue.

    @FonZ

    Indeed. Love the babies.

    @Swade

    Kudos to you for being a wonderful Mommy! Keep up the good work and remember we need more like you… Mentor as many women as possible.

  7. peyso Says:

    I think all of this is stemming from a lack of the pseudo-traditional family structure. (i say pseudo because it doesnt necessarily have to be a mom and a dad living together)/ Stories like these happen less when there are two parents (regardless of sex) involved in a child’s life. They happen less when there are family members that dont see this child as a burden to avoid. It happens less when people consider their support structure when having a child. It happens less when that child is supported by a village.

    So many parents try to do it on their own. Sometimes we need to be humbled and realize that we dont have to.

  8. lapreghiera Says:

    I agree with peyso up to the ‘regardless of sex’ regarding having 2 parents.’ It does happen less when people have help, that is why God made it necessary for their to be a male and female input into procreation in the first place, and it takes both of them to successfully raise a child. I like what someone said on a previous post about how women have been doing it alone, but it doesn’t mean they should or want to.
    But to the topic the parents are there, they just don’t care. That 30 seconds of pleasure should not have come with 18 years of responsibilities they didn’t want. Its the mind set of the people, the nurturing and loving factor in men and women is gone. Men lost it first, and women are losing it.
    And then it is just a lack of common sense.
    I have a cousin now on baby #2, no GED, 21 and got some broke negro (not neither baby daddy) living in her house. Can’t tell her nothing, though she claim her kids are her world, but any and everybody comes thru her apt (that someone else pays for). Scared for these kids but its like, if you take them, what will stop her from having more? So we pray the stress of the 2 encourage her eventually to want to do better – she wants better, everyone does – they just don’t want to do what it takes to get it.
    I don’t agree with the some folks should have to take a test before they are allowed to procreate, because who sets the criteria for who needs a test?

  9. “Some people should just not be reproducing”. – – – Yea, what he said.

    Problem is we don’t have to get permission to make a child. No license needed (like we do with driving a car, or having a gun, or opening a business . . . but then again, all those things earn revenue for the gubment . . . that’s another blog i suppose).

    @ lapreg re: “Its the mind set of the people, the nurturing and loving factor in men and women is gone. Men lost it first, and women are losing it.”

    (I’m going to get beat up for this but . . .) Let’s assume you’re right. We started it. Us men types. But when are women going to realize that more likely than not, yall will end up with the burden/joy/whateva you want to call it of raising that child alone if you (as Peyso suggested . . but i won’t get into the male/female/male/male thang) haven’t acquired a true “partner” to assist you. Why is this so hard to get across? It’s your vajayjay! (my wife – and subsequently me – watches a lot of Oprah). Not getting pregnant / getting someone pregnat aint hard. I know. . . I’ve done it. And I didn’t lock myself in a room to do so. Trust. Not these days. There’s too many options (even before abortion). Why aren’t we teaching these to our young people (oh. . .that’s right . . . people don’t want us or Obama indoctrinating their children in schools)?

    The truth is that unloved girls become unloved teenagers seeking love which they think they are getting from some unloved boy and think having a child of their own to give/receive love from will fill the gap that they have as a result of being unloved for so long.

    In turn . . . teen pregnancy occurs.

    I’m 31. My wife 28. We make a very good living for our ages, have independent careers and own our own business. We’re putting off having children because we at this point don’t have the support structure (again . . as Peyso commented) to raise those children effectively. Both our parents live in other cities and other than really, really close friends (who we know we can depend on to help) there’s no familial structure around. Because we know that it’s going to be tougher without them, we wait. why isn’t this more common?

  10. My first time commenting(I think). Heyy!!

    The thing is, some people shouldn’t be parents. Everyone isn’t equipped to handle the responsibility of being a parent. Whenever I’m in the grocery store, or Target, I see random kids running around the store, away from their parents. I see parents walking 4+ feet ahead of their small children. In parking lots, parents walking far ahead of their children. In all of these instances, it wouldn’t take much for some horrible person to snatch your child, and be gone forever, We hear about it all the time.

    I agree with Peyso that their is a lack of a support system. And because of this, parents are more likely to cut corners with their kids. Leave them in the car alone, not really pay attention to them in stores and other public places. Then you have people like Antoinette Davis who shouldn’t even be allowed to have children, or at least not be allowed to keep the children she has.

    Quick story… Over the summer, I went for a run at the state park, and there were 3 little girls playing around the rest area while their parents were at a picnic bench clear on the other side of the parking lot. How quickly do you think a pedophile could have snatched one and taken her into the men’s restroom? Or taken her away for good? Parents have to be more careful!


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