Admin Note: I know we’ve been sporadic and here and there with writing but we were working to make a few behind the scenes adjustments. So I’ll say Happy New Year and I promise 2010 will bring good things! Also, be sure and check out The Return of Three Ways To Take It! Welcome back lady and gents!
It’s been ten years since we had that whole Y2K scam scare. Everyone’s minds were fixated on what to do when some catastrophic event hit the world. Now here we are a full decade later and whether you know it or not there’s a full conundrum for black men and women.
Last week I asked about black men and their finances. I wanted to know how they spend their money. I found that many of the men reading these blogs are fiscally conservative and very responsible. I also know these men are college educated (many with terminal degrees) and church going (which should define them as a good man, but often doesn’t). The Black woman is still lamenting her woes about not being able to find a good Black man. After much thought (and a little research) I’ve come up with a couple of reasons why I feel Black love is disintegrating instead of getting stronger.
1. Slave Mentality-I know many of you are wondering why I would go here, but remember throughout many of the slave households fathers were absent because they were sold or worse killed. Genetic memory can be one of the huge reasons why we cannot build sound relationships. The Black woman has been forced to do it on her own for almost five hundred years. Why would that change now? At this point, we have degrees, cars, and homes. We don’t particularly see a great urge to go get a man and if we do, well he’d better be completely on point.
2. Princess Syndrome-I hate to break it to some of you ladies but your life is not a Disney movie. No man is going to just come and rescue you from the castle on the hill, nor is he going to listen to you nagging and nagging and nagging. You can’t sit around asking questions like, “Do I look like the type of girl who would eat at the Outback?” The answer is yes (unless you want to be alone for life).
3. Derogatory Treatment of the Opposite Sex-I’m going to be straight up honest… when I was younger I exclusively dated White men. When I got a lil older and got serious (read: my world was rocked) I started bringing around Black dudes. I’ll admit I was quick judge them and throw in their faces what their *ahem* other brethren did better. Now I realize that my pain is their pain. Black men, just like women need to be lifted up. We each need to stop telling the other how to act, after all we’re not children and we’ve already been raised. Just love… love and learn… it’s gonna all fall into place one day (I hope).
Gentlemen, do you feel that Black women do a good job or trying to show you that you’re worth something? Ladies, what about the men? Do you think dating and expectations have changed much over the past ten years? What has? Is it for the good or not?