Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Lovely Ladies (Who STILL think Like Ladies) January 19, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 11:31 pm

Over the course of the past few months I’ve been doing a little investigation with the male folk (who, by the way, are going to be running this site next week).  The entire reason I’ve been asking the questions I’ve been asking comes from a conversation I had on a date back in September.  While we were in the car, I mentioned to my friend that he was driving a bit too fast for my liking (considering the bad weather and the fact that he wasn’t from here).  He then put one hand on the wheel and the other on my leg and said, “Don’t worry, I got this.  Why don’t you just sit back, relax and be a woman?”

Breaks started screeching in my head.  After all, if nothing else I am extremely feminine.  So of course, I asked him what he meant.  He told me (with what I think was fear) that sistas (all of us) needed to stop with all this bossiness.  He said it’s real nice and all that we have degrees and money and stuff but it doesn’t mean that we know everything, one and two, it still doesn’t give us the innate sense of maleness that men possess.  A penis in the boardroom WILL NOT equal a penis in the bedroom.  *pause* Now, I am realizing that not all men think this.  In fact, one just challenged me on this (HOW DARE HE?!) He said if a woman is like that then she’s like that and she’s not likely to change.  I believe that the Black woman does have it in her genetics to be overwhelming strong and independent but she needs to understand that in 2010 the man is only leaving because he wants to and if he does, well just remember you can do bad all by yourself (which by the way is where you’ll be if you don’t calm down some of these antics).

Anyways, this is already getting long enough and I know my sisters in the blogging world are all independent and doing their own thing.  I’m definitely proud of all of us and I want us to have much success in life and love.  Therefore, my question for today is:

Ladies: What are some things men have accused you of doing that were “unladylike”?  Do you think the media is over blowing this whole idea?

Gentlemen: What can the ladies do to be more like ladies?  Do you believe that the onset of more education and better jobs caused this or do you believe that women would have been like this regardless?

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9 Responses to “Lovely Ladies (Who STILL think Like Ladies)”

  1. lapreghiera Says:

    The nerve
    What is bossy about asking a man to consider your nerves and the safety of driving the vehicle so fast on a wet surface? Was it your tone? You should’ve told him A gentleman never contradicts a lady, a gentleman would’ve just slowed down. Not responding to his remarks as your post indicates shows your superior etiquette. A real man doesn’t have to tell a real lady to be more so, and he has the couth not to say anything to a woman who most obviously isn’t one. A real woman/lady will yield to a real man, even butch broads come subject to deep, authoritative and authentic masculinity, and gay dudes get a little more bass in their voice when addressing one. But all he did was attempt to chastise you and yall were still slippin and sliding along the road, right?!?!
    That brother had you fooled just cause he, what, has a degree or 2, a nice car, and wasn’t in the gutter when you met? Having his professional penis doesn’t equate to manliness either.

  2. Sunny Says:

    I have been accused of not being emotional enough or expressing myself.

    I do think the media is overblowing this but I also think that if we didn’t give them the material for it, they wouldn’t have a story.. they wouldn’t have the woe was me story, if women weren’t acting like they were at such a disadvantage for love because they “had all other aspects of their lives going on,” sotospeak.

    I read something yesterday, on I forget whose blog, where the writer said women with it going on, need to stop acting like they are owed something (i.e. LOVE). Great point.

  3. Peyso Says:

    I find it interesting that we like to choose when and how we want our relationships to be traditional. I was thinking about this on the train to work. Recently, women have been very demanding in men playing some of the traditional roles in relationships (chivalrous, providing) w/o others (cheating) and they have also been picking and choosing when they will be the traditional woman. I just think its an interesting dynamic.

    However, in regards to situation, he’s an idiot. Everyone has a right to worry about their safety regardless of their gender. This idea of manliness is the reason that historically and currently there tend to be many more women in the world.

  4. Jaci Says:

    Last night when I finished writing the post a brilliant young man BBM me and told me that he couldn’t answer the question but one of his brilliant female friends could. Here is her answer:

    Be ourselves. Too many are trying to either be too Nicki Minaj and come off as ignorant and sex-crazed while others are trying their hardest to appear strong and come off as insensitive “b*tches” if I may and are scorned and seen as unattractive

    We’re feeding into the slave stereotypes again of the matriarch and the jezebel.

    I thought this was brilliant. And it was backed up by an older gentleman on Twitter. I believe that what she’s saying is true. We need to stop letting people twist us around into being someone or something that we are not.

    @LaP-you SLAYED the hel! out of that comment. He was not driving that fast AT ALL. If he had slowed down someone would have hit us. I just don’t think anyone can drive but me. He just went about pointing out how women are no longer being women we want to control everything. He was right. Once I stopped trying to control the situation and overthinking I had a good time but I don’t think it’s as bad as the media is portraying.

    @Sunny *waves* Hey boo! That’s true. We do need to stop acting as though we are owed love and stop throwing around the word “deserve”. We don’t deserve things. Realistically we need to earn it.

    @Peyso You are correct and I just thought about it in the way that you put it. True enough we are demanding that you always be a man while we’re only REAL women 50% of the time or less.

  5. Sunny Says:

    lol. Hey girl

  6. I think he spoiled a semi-good point in a bad situation. What he should have done was just slow down. But he shouldn’t have been driving in a way that it would even frighten a woman.

    However, I do think that women need to remember to let a man be a man and a woman be a woman. The penis part was in poor taste.

    I’m sorry but i’m a bit old fashioned in some senses, I like to carry things for my lady, I like to open the door, I like to pay for the meal, I like to provide and I like to drive. Do I think she’s incapable? No. But what really pisses me off is when the woman won’t let me be great.

    PS – And don’t touch my radio/heat or tell me how to drive. I think that’s everyone’s pet peeve man, woman, boy or girl.
    PPS – People should be cautious drivers when they have passengers though, that’s called being a good driver.

  7. lapreghiera Says:

    I guess you had to be there. His whole diatribe seems out of place for a simple request to slow down, whether you were operating under the bossy M.O or not. I probably would’ve hailed a cab as soon as we reach our destination.

  8. K Even Says:

    face down a** up, thats the way i want u to shut up…

    treat her like a lady, but break that back.. then give it some gentle time… no need to be sackin the quarterback all night,

  9. Jac Says:

    @Dr.J-let me count the ways how I love thee lol

    @K-Even- I just decided to be a mute & defer to all men for the day 😉

    Want some lemonade & a cookie?


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