Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

The Measurement of a Man January 25, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 10:11 am
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One of the most curious things about being a man is learning what being a man is all about.  I am edging up on 40 this June and I am never short on the number of answers that are available.

Being a man is speaking up for what you believe in.  That’s it. 

I really, really need people to let boys grow up on their own terms.  It is clear that the Old rules are NOT working. 

Not me, Not mine.  I ain’t gonna be able to do it.  And I won’t.

If you have sons, let them be themselves.  Teach them to rise and Fall on their own Merits and their own perceptions. 

Being a man is being the strong, silent type.

Being a man is Loving women

Being a man is Money over….well, you get the point.

For the vast majority of us, we are bombarded with contradictory notions of what makes up a man.  The very things that are poured into our spirits at birth as the pinnacle of manliness are things that are branded as immature and sophomoric.

Way before I got into the whole Inkognegro the Scribe Schtick, I have constantly mused on what it is that MAKES a man a man.

Growing up, what I was taught (turn the other cheek, in order to be a leader of all you must be a servant of all) never squared with what I experienced on the outisde.

Friday was a REALLY tough day for me.  For a brief moment, it all seemed like it was coming apart.

That evening I was on twitter and A female friend of mine was expressing how she had pulled herself out of a Nervous breakdown largely by verbalizing that she chose life.

It stopped me cold.

” I choose Life”  is a powerful statement, when you actually take it beyond sloganeering and Put it in practice.

But seriously…will “manhood” allow that kind of a statement to be made?

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3 Responses to “The Measurement of a Man”

  1. I think that this is a great thought. I think that most people are bombarded with contradictory notions of what it is to be (fill in the blank). I am curious about what you mean when you say let boys grow up on their own terms. Just like you said, a lot of what you are taught doesn’t jive with what you see outside of you (whether that is media or the neighborhood). How do we help young boys to reconcile the contradiction?

  2. Jara Says:

    Great post. At what point do we shed other people’s definitions of us and embrace (and live) or own definitions of self? And dare others to deny us the “reality” of our self-definitions. That process of balancing how others think/feel with how we think/feel is adulthood. Regardless of sex/gender.

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Inkognegro, Inkognegro. Inkognegro said: The Measurement of a Man: http://wp.me/plulo-xm […]


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