Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Ink-Stained Mondays : You Got a Friend March 22, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 8:22 am
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AUTHOR’s NOTE: I totally get that this is a women’s blog.  But I see y’all dudes out here lurking on the periphery.  This is for you.

Ladies? Send it to a man who needs to read it.  You know you know at least ONE.

I am 82 days short of my 40th Birthday.

As I approach said magical day, it is becoming apparent I need to step my mentoring game or something.

I was watching I Love You, Man yesterday, while waiting for history to shake itself out.

I took a pass on it in the theaters partly because I LIVED The movie but mostly because I have kinda grown weary of the whole Apatow/Paul Rudd/New wave White R- rated comedy thing.  Seen one, seen them all.

I am starting to have regrets though.  Not because I feel like I missed out on having Male friends, so much as I feel like men missed out on having a friend like me.

Someone to tell them it’s okay to be themselves and not some cardboard cut out of the man Madison avenue produces for you.

Someone to tell them that Fucking every girl in the world isn’t exactly a life goal to aspire to, even metaphorically.

Someone to tell them that just because you want to fuck every attractive woman you meet doesn’t mean you love women.

Someone to tell them that it is entirely possible to view women outside the context of a potential sex partner.

Someone to tell them that being a man is 360 degrees of existence.  Mind-body-and-soul

Someone to tell them that they would be surprised what they could learn from a woman if they weren’t trying to get under their skirt so hard.

I know I come off kinda know-it-all ish and aloof, but thats mostly because I know how y’all act when dudes don’t fit in your narrow little boxes.

But if you’re willing to Break out of that box.  Im here for you.

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall.

It is a beautiful world when you break out of that narrow confining box and Stretch out to be a whole man, as opposed to that stereotype you’re living.

It isn’t easy, though.  I never really lived it, but I can tell it’s a difficult path to go from Pinocchio to a real boy.

If you want it…I am here for you.

Otherwise….Keep it moving and try not to say anything stupid around me, Because I Will clown you.


Who’s Really The Prize March 18, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 12:01 am
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Recently I met a new gentleman.

We’ve gone on to dinner, had drinks, even kicked it at the club… He keeps telling me:

“You ain’t ready for all this.”

Now… One night I snapped off & asked him what the eff he meant by that. He just said… “You ain’t ready shawty.”


I’m a he!l of a woman & I need a he!l of man. He’ont know my life! Anyways, I digress.

Fast forward to two days ago at work, a female co-worker walked by & a male co-worker walked behind her & said “She ain’t ready for all this.”

WHAT?!?! Now my aunt always talks to me about the mythical silver dipped and platinum tipped man… You know the ones that get you all wrapped up. Well yeah…. None of these men are all that.

So here’s my question… Are women so desperate that we’ve accepted these trifling men to the point they think what they’ve gotten is exceptional? Furthermore, I am DYING to know just what it is we women are NOT ready for?

Trust… I’ve got an opinion, but I’ma keep this one to myself this time.

Your thoughts?


Changing March 17, 2010


On my way to work this morning, I’ve realized one big change that has come into my life.  

 I listen to Russ Parr in the Morning on my short commute and usually get to hear the morning’s spiritual song right as I cross over into the bridge headed into Kentucky from Indiana (where I reside). This morning, as the gospel song played, and I forget what it was, I realized that I missed my church.  I was just there Sunday (two days before) but as silly as it sounds, it still did not stop me from missing it.

When that gospel song came on, (and as Christian as I say I am, I usually don’t mess with gospel music outside of Sunday), I realized that I seriously love being there.  I love the music, the camaraderie, the preaching, the spirit, EVERYTHING.   I missed church so much that I passed up my usual “Lalah Hatahway” station for a “Marvin Sapp” station that I just programmed on Pandora at work right now. 

The best thing of all about my church is my Sunday School class.  My former class closed, forcing me and my beau to find a new class.  As I flipped down the list of classes (my church has a BOATLOAD of choices, yaw), I immediately wanted to try the one called “With this Ring…”  I didn’t know what to expect upon me and my beau’s first visit, but it now being our full month in, I’m truly blessed to have found it. It’s a huge class, me and beau being the youngest couple in there, and we talk about just about everything.  It’s truly a blessing to be around people that are married and are going where we’d like to go in the future.   There is no better person to learn something you are TRYING to do, than from someone who was successful at it.   

 I’m blessed to have my church, and I’m blessed to have a beau, who shares what I share.  I have never had this before and I’m truly happy…. I remember as a kid, I LOATHED going to church every morning… when my granny pulled up to pick me and my brother up (even though I did not DARE ask mama why she didn’t have to come to church), I would be HEATED that I had to miss out on rest,  to go.  Twenty seven years later (how long it took for me to realize go away from the family church and find somewhere where my spirit could grow), I now realized what my granny was trying to do.  And I’m thankful for her- for a praying, church-going granny.

I’m not trying to convert anyone; just expressing how happy I am at this moment and what change I realized I’ve made.  I’m far from perfect, I’m a work in progress, as all Christians are.  I know some would have you believe differently, and those are what give Christians a bad rep.  Whatever you chose to do, whatever you are, I hope you feel the degree of happiness that I do now!!!!  

 What changes have you realized about yourself lately?


Spring Up Your Style March 15, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — cuzzo @ 10:35 pm

Resident blogger, Nicki Sunshine,  has opted for new shades of eyeshadow (see pic) for some pop in her life and FOSSSO (Friend of SSSO) Tea has gone on a virtual shooping spree, treating herself to shoes and dresses lately.

What do you do to pep up your style?

I usually opt for a handbag. And with the latest weather change, I’m in the market for a new jacket. I love a fabulous jacket or blazer to accessorize any outfit.

MAXX NEW YORK Reversed Sequin Round Bag with Chain Strap

Color is the reason for the season and these lightweight beauties are perfect for spring. No more heavy totes…lighten up without breaking the bank though, please 🙂

The jackets of the season have larger collars and ruffles:

MICHAEL Michael Kors Double Breasted All Weather Jacket Tahari 'Eve' Asymmetrical Ruffle Trench Coat Miss Sixty Distressed Faux Leather Jacket Tahari 'Ricky' Sateen Coat


Ink-Stained Mondays : More than a Pretty Face

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — inkognegro @ 9:16 am
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As someone who has made a living watching people date (and mate) for the past 20 years, I have had a front row seat for the evolution of dating.  A particularly fascinating turn of events is the this notion that just being fine is enough for men.

*record skip*

Once upon a time, when a man took a woman who was viewed as an Extremely Attractive woman out on a date, there was a chance you would get a statue.  A vision of lovliness who is a joy to behold, but not particularly interested in engaging a date, but loathe to turn down the free food.

But hey, They Fine.  So, Dudes, being the visual creatures we are purported to be, Let that slide. We Endure boredom for the sake of the arm candy of it all.

Is this to say that all Pretty women are boring?  Don’t be SILLY.  But many are.

And the more classically Beautiful they are…the more*shrug* worthy they can be.

And for y’all dudes that love them Hot and Boring, God Bless You. More cool women for me.

But this isn’t what today’s post is about.

TODAY’S Post is about how Women have, in the course of embodying a more male style of dating, seemed to start making the same mistakes men make.

Got these dudes walking around thinking their sole responsibility is to be fine.

And MAYBE pay the bill.

Let me know how that works out for y’all.

Because THAT isn’t even working out for dudes, these days.


Friends Through Thick & Thin? March 10, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — peyso @ 10:30 pm

Hello all!

The other day my girlfriend made the great point that I have many acquaintances. I think that anyone who knows me could easily see that about me. The thing that puzzled her was how I came to have all of these acquaintances. It puzzled her because she says that many of the people who are just acquaintances, I would define as once being friends. This sort of troubled me. What did these people do that was bad enough for them to be demoted to acquaintances but not bad enough for our friendship to end completely? By doing this was I missing out on the opportunity to create and build substantial friendships with my peers?

I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t the people that had done anything wrong. It was me. I was the one changing or abandoning “friends”. When I left my elementary/middle school I almost purposefully fell out of touch with the people there. The same happened in high school save for a few people. And this is starting to happen with my college friends now. Instead of trying to bring my old friends into my new world that could be advantageous to them, I felt like I was abandoning people at each stage of life. When I started to like fine dining and museums instead of video games, am I wrong when I don’t try to introduce my new found joys to them. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than comfortable cutting folks off when they aren’t a good friend. But this seems that I’m cutting people off when I’m not a good friend.

Is this something that I should be alarmed about? Am I doing something wrong?


The Great Divide March 9, 2010

Filed under: Single Sisters On... — FlawedBeauty @ 10:58 am

I wanna be the first to admit my first boyfriend was a brown haired/blue eyed white boy from a rival high school.  I’d gone to school with my “other” brother and sisters my entire life & I didn’t understand why I’d need to date within my own race.  After all, most of my peers were not African American. 

Anyways, when my freshman year of college came around I began to see one of our fair friends from South of the Border.   That was the worst mistake I could have made.  Even though, he was *ahem* Mexican, he felt that his fairer skin made him more superior to me despite what society might say. 

I was over it.  I immediately switched back and Black was all of a sudden the only way to go.  At this point, I still feel that way, but I am beginning to notice that my brown skin brothers are not so much looking for what I’m looking for… at least not with me and that’s okay. 

But do I really wanna switch back over to the other side?  Does anyone find there are more merits to dating outside the race box or is it just too much trouble with side-eyes and blank stares?