Single Sisters Speak Out

The Modern Life of the Single Sister

Do You Have Scare Tactics? June 19, 2009

Filed under: Dating,relationships,Single Sisters On... — Holly GoLightly @ 8:26 am
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So I got my weekly eHarmony newsletter subscription and my fav article this week was Five Ways to Scare a Guy Away. The title initially caught my eye because as being back on the market I wanted to know had I been possessing some psycho tendencies that have shooing away male suitors. To my relief I haven’t, but I definitely know some women (especially a couple of friends or friends of friends) who are guilty of doing some of the things the eHarmony writer has put out there. According to the article here are the five scare tactics that women do:

1) Those Three Little Words

While it’s clear that men like to hear that you love them, timing is everything. So while you may be excited to have finally found someone you’re compatible with, try to rein in the desire to blurt out that you’ve totally fallen for him for at least a couple of months. Say it during the first few dates, and his mind will process those three precious words into one scary one: psycho. He needs to time to process what he’s feeling about you, and you both need time for infatuation to settle into something more real.

2) Cracking Knuckles and other Manly Moves

The days of women casting coy smiles from behind paper fans may be long gone, but a guy still appreciates a little femininity in his potential love match.

So while those tricks where you crack open a beer bottle with your teeth and say the names of everyone in the room with a belch are no doubt impressive, you should think about promoting your gentler qualities in a relationship’s early stages. He’s not looking for a return to Victorian values, but he’d probably like to think he could beat you in a Jäger shoot-out or an arm-wrestling match. Even if he can’t.

3) Going Bridal

Okay, we know that one day you might want to get married – we’re not stupid – but there’s an order to these things, and subscribing to the bride and wedding magazines and studying your diamond cuts before you’ve even met a guy is classic carat-before-horse territory. So when he turns up at your place and sees a bookshelf full of dog-eared bridal magazines and your computer’s home page set to Enchanted Weddings, he’s likely to suddenly get very busy at work. Wanting to get married to a man you love is one thing, trying to fit a mysterious anybody into your wedding-day fantasy is another.

4) Hey Kids, Meet your New Daddy

Realistically, in our fractured world men know that the chances of meeting and falling for a single mom are significant. For many it’s an instant no-no, and if that’s your situation, best to know up front. However, for those men not put off by the first mention of Junior, they’ll still be walking into the situation one tentative step at a time, and telling him too early what a great daddy he’s going to make to your kids will make him break out in a cold sweat. So while ultimately you’re a package deal – and it’s important that he knows that – let him get to know you first.

Once you feel that your relationship has had a chance to establish itself, then gently introduce the little one(s). And remember: initially he’s not going to be as in love with them as you are, so give him a chance to establish a relationship with them too.

5) My Ex was a Psycho/My Ex was the Greatest

We get it – you have an ex-boyfriend. Hey, maybe you’ve got five. Or 10 or 20. We know, but there are telltale signs when this could be a problem for us. First is when you go all glassy-eyed at the mention of his name – worse if the subject came up after we noticed it tattooed on your wrist. He may have been a master surgeon with rock-solid abs and a second home in Hawaii, but we’d rather not know too much about it if it’s all the same with you, as we know we’ll never compare.

Similarly, we understand that he may have tormented you emotionally/slept with your sister/kidnapped your dog, but that just makes us wonder one thing: why’d you go out with him so long? It doesn’t speak highly of your selection process, and ergo why you’ve chosen us. We’ve all got a past – let’s just keep it there.

So my questions for the Ladies are any you guilty of committing any of the tactics above? Have you committed any others that aren’t listed that scared a guy away? And Guys what are some things that have been a turn off for you dealing with a female?


How to Act on the 5th. November 4, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — cuzzo @ 9:03 am
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This was emailed to me a couple days ago so I’m sharing.

barack-obama-family-7After watching the final debate the other night, it dawned on me that Obama could actually win this thing.  If that happens, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days.  They’ll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for signs of the end times. To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid – at least for the

first few days:


1.       No crying, hugging or shouting ‘Thank you Lord’ – at least not in public


2         No high-fives – at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses


3         No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters


4         No calling in sick on November 5th. They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up.


5         We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing.  Just try to keep from grinning too hard.


6.        No singing loudly, We’ve come this Far By Faith  (it will be acceptable to hum softly)


7.        No bringing of  barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings at all) (this may make us seem too ethnic)


8.        No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)


9.        No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)


10.      Please no Moving on Up music  (we are going to try to remain humble)


11.      No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you’re in your office with the door closed)


12.      Please try not to yell—-BOOOO YAH!


13.      Just in case you’re wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.


14.      No cussing out your boss (of another persuasion) because ‘I’ve been waiting for this day all my life!’


15.      Don’t go into the stores asking for a discount because the President is all of a sudden a distant relative (he my aunts, cousin’s nephew’s uncle).


16.      Don’t go out and get drunk and get into it with a Police Officer telling him you now have new rights as an African American and shouting ‘We have Arrived!’  (your butt will still go to jail)


17.      No naming every baby boy born in November Barak or Obama, we’ll have way too many in the classroom with the same name.  Or if it’s a girl, no names like Baraka, Barakiana, Barakisha, Barakeema, Barakamichelle’, Obamashay, Obamarosa, Obama-mama, or Obamichellerak!


18.      No talking smack about politics when you still don’t know whatcha talkin’ about.  (this will be a good time to read more to learn more about our government)


19.    Don’t praise him over God! He’s still just a man… a good man that we’re very proud of, yet still a man.


20.    DO allow him to be a positive example in your life and walk with your head held high when the haters hate, maintain your dignity when faced with adversity,  and strive to make this a better world for our children (grand-children)!


If I’ve missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home on November 5th.

Now (if you are able to in your state) go get your early vote on and let’s make this thing happen!!!

I’m voting today! 24 hours til OBAMAnation.